The Knowhere Guide

Inside Information in Orpington, Greater London*

Orpington, Greater London Hookup Spots and Stuff Only Locals Know

Hook-up Spots (That hallowed spot where everyone hangs around with their mates dreaming of the time when they can get into the pubs or clubs - a bench, a corner: you name it.)

• the road behind clinton cards (as it is now)
• We don't hang around in Orpington.. we want to avoid minor depression, thanks.
• The 'tunnel park' (which you can hardly call a park seeing as the tunnels been knocked down and the swings ripped from their hinges) on Ramsden Estate where unemployed, uneducated baboons sit, and drink the night away terrorising passers by!
• well er well there is none coz if you try to sit on some grass you get the old gits (hoverbags,curton twitchers,sagbags etc)having a moan at you coz you can probably murder,rape so forth and get away with it but if you try to sit on a wall or sit on a bank of grass its like you are the worst person in the world and you blew up a car infront of them or somthing. And (even i tryed this out.) you will sit on grass or a wall or you will be on your bike or skatebord wait ing for them nicely (the hoverbags) to pass and they well still have a go at you even though you have done f**k all.
• If it,s raining the local plebs ride around on 61, 208 or R1 buses vandalising as many as possible. Usualey with one valid bus pass between them.
• It aint macdonalds any more where people hangs out it is at chelsfield shops. All the priory dons up there.
• Being a teenager from Orpington I tend to hang around the highstreet on Saturdays... saying that though, theres not a lot you can do there unless you got money to shop! And ofcourse we've got to hang outside MacDonalds, its the same in every area. Plus theres a convinient bus stop outside it which mean we can go *bus hopping*. I'd like to see more things for us youths to do though... WE ARE DEPRIVED :o)
• in orpington there is jack to do, you can't go anywhere because its crap you either get mugged by pikeys or so bored you go home,i usually go to a mates because several times this year i have been mugged in orpington by gippos, its unsafe and annoying so if i were you, stay in with your girl or if you don't have one....go to ibiza and party there!
• High Elms - this is especialy good if you want to go somewhere where you can make loads of noise without disturbing anyone and you can sleep over in all those cunningly placed huts. Other wise McDonalds definatly gets it because lets face it there isn't anywhere else to go at all unless of course you fancy hanging on the top floor of Crundle Tower.
• Most obvious one is outside MacDonalds... but try round St Mary Cray, St Pauls Cray where most of todays junivile pikeys are (specially Star Lane)...and....er did I see a Priory Kid in the Library!? - nah!
• You'll find the Priory kids outside McDonalds...or else down Star Lane.
• Either outside MacDonalds or as someone else said (if your a priory kid) by the War memorial thing or down by pikey central.
• Goddington park children's playground is a good place to go to add your vomit to the rest that lies around the place. you may want to take a wheelbarrow with you to get drunks home in.
• The Priory gardens has a large collection of used condoms and unborn babies. Surprising really considering it's near the library and most scumbags avoid it like a vampire avoids church!
• Peacocks is the place to be seen outside, If you drive past on sat night and see a gimpy looking man, beeb and I will expose myself to you!
• Outside the Firkin when you ar 16. You think about dressing as a goth to get in. And then decide the humiliatin just isn't worth it
• At the weekends and after school hours a lot of kids 'hang out' outside MacDonalds.During the week the slightly older kids 'hang out' outside the college.Teenagers seem to like spending their time in the local childrens parks, swearing, being violent and generally making it unsafe and unpleasent for younger children.
• My bathroom, with my hand. That may sound sad until you realise that Orpington's last attractive woman left in 1987.
• This is a difficult one. Yup, outside McDonalds is where you're gonna meet the local dross... I usually end up sat on a wall on Gillmans or Tintagel road with some mates drawling drunkenly about days gone by....
• Its true about hanging out round each others houses, but we always found Tugmutton common opposite Darrick Wood school a good place to chill out
• The Scout Hut just below the grounds of St. Olave's is an excellent place to meet the teenage rejects of the town.
• Oh Macdonalds totally
• Outside McDonnalds, if you are really cool you'll be with the crowd that has actually managed to persuade some fool into buying a pack of cigarettes or even a can of beer! Only the really educated child spends cold December nights here, that is those who went attend Beaverwood or Bullers wood.
• Er sorry- the delinquents are either outside McDonalds, or make their way up to St Paul's Cray.
• A bit of a strange question which I fell probably only really applies to the drop outs who seem to spend the whole of Saturday standing in the Glades in Bromley. Most people would meet at a pub or where they're going to.
• The nobs of the area seem to congregate in the parkland around St. Andrew's Church in Lower Road, but the rest of us go round to each other's houses and do sensible things (and not freeze to death). Playing four-player games on the MegaDrive is a lot more fun now we can visit the pubs and offie first ... oh, and half the Priory kids seem to congregate by the War Memorial roundabout for some reason.

The Knowhere Guide started out as a list of places to skateboard in the UK. It is a compilation of (unedited) information and views supplied by users like yourself. It is not a conventional tourist guide!

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Last updated: 2006-12-06