The Knowhere Guide

Eating and Drinking in Orpington, Greater London*

Orpington, Greater London Pubs, Cafes, Coffee Shops and Restaurants

Food

• Mirage is very nice indeed, cheap, cheerful and VERY clear. If for some reason that they ran out of plates, I would eat off the floor! Mmmmmmm
• Chinese at the Crescent (on the way to Green Street Green ) is nice, so is the tiny little kebab shop in Green Street Green High Street.
• The Gurkah Kitchen is the BEST restaurant in Orpington. Reasonably priced and delicious plus the wine glasses are huge!
• the best chip shop in the world exists in orpington. its located on court road on the way to the m25. brian & linda who run it are sofriendly and the stuff is fresh, no moody fish here.sometimes u have to wait a little time for your order but brian will entertain you with his jokes, singing and nutty manner!
• That pasta bar above a shop has something going for it. I'm sorry I didn't try the baguettes in the WineCellar b4 it closed down. That place looked nice, still, that's what you get when you try to introduce a bit of class into Orpington. They should take over the Wetherspoons by Churchill Insurance, I reckon that would be the place for your office baguette buying types and your insurance salesmen wine bar types. If it works, can I get a cut in the profits?
• Orpington must have the most restaurants and cafes in nearly any Hign St - by my reckoning there are at least 35, including the small Walnuts shopping precinct. Basically, 3 or 4 each of pasta/pizza, chinese, indian, fish and chips, greasy spoons, burgers, kebabs. Prices and quality vary. Single restaurants - Thai, Italian. Various pubs, including the ubiquitous Weatherspoons. Best - New World Noodle bar at the very bottom of the High St, in the 1 way system, and The Olive Tree - sort of greasy spoon, but better. Both these offer huge portions, low prices, and delicious grub. Best at the other end of the price scale, Xian; possibly one of the top Chinese restaurants, superb food, not too expensive. Pasta Bar - tiny upstairs restaurant, reminscent of Italy, fantastic mussels and great Grappa. Both these are about £15-20 a head. Poseurs - Bar Rumba. The best Indians are outside of the high Street - Saffron in Windsor Drive, two in Green-St-Green, and the devine Indigo in Locksbottom.
• Excellent Chinese restaurants include both King Palace and Xian in Orpington High Street. King Palace is friendlier and roomier. Xian is Gary Rhodes favourite local restaurant - perhaps that is not a good thing. If you are a regular at King Palace they always offer a drink on the house after the meal.
• There are quite a lot of take-aways and fast food places in Orpington. No real restaurants worth mentioning. Plenty of greasy spoons, if you like that sort of thing.
• Loog Bua does very yummy food but pricey. Don't ever go to Kebabye - they don't understand if you ask for chips and cheese - what kind of excuseforakebabshop doesn't do that?! Best of all is chippis up Goddington Lane - fresh fish and friendly!
• If you want some cheap sandwiches, and a dose of Salmonaella into the bargain, try Roland's Bakery - in the Cresent, near the hospital (fortunately).
• Found that the trip out to The Bo Peep Pub at Chelsfield was worth the journey, they've got a lovely little private restaurant with good menu of genuine home made food and the restaurant is Non Smoking........ Good for them !!! Lot's of famous performers go there,,, saw the 'Baywatch caste recently.
• Go to a kebab shop and get yourself stabbed if you're not too generous with the locals. Or there's the infamous Kebab-Ye, where me (Stu) Rich and Som were offered Smack to go with our donners.
• The best Chinese take away can be found at Bamboo house at the cresent at the bottom of Warren Rd possibly more Green st. Green than orpington but definately worth it.
• There is a mean Pie and Mash shop in the Walnuts Prisink.
• Plenty of great food in Orpington and environs. DON'T go to the posh looking Indian in the high street. It used to be good but now it's just posh nosh. Go to the two in Green Street Green or (my personal choice) The Saphron in Chelsfield which is utterly superb. There is King's Palace and Ming's (Pettswood) for expensive chinese food, and Sun Do (Pettswood)and the Locus House for affordable take aways. There is a new Italian which looks like it will close very shortly because of the lack of custom, but go there just to cheer the owner up. The Winecellar has a nice cafe with very tastey and unhealthy baguettes. The best Fish and Chip shop in the world also resides in Orpington, along Court Road which I frequent every Saturday lunchtime. There is a Morelli's in the mall but that's not much cop, and also a McDonald's but that's not really food. Check out some of the "Greasy Spoons" in the high street for breakfast: a HUGE full English breakfast for 59p. Mmmm...
• Now this is something Orpington does well! For chinese try King Palace and the best-curryhouse-in-the-world used to be Orpinton Tandoori - I was devastated when it was replaced by the Akash which is not as good/friendly but twice as expensive. The fish and chip shop at the top of Goddington Lane is just the greatest (food's top stuff and Fryin' Brian has a gorgeous singing voice!)
• I can recommend the chinese restaurant by the war memorial- considtently good over the many years I've been going there. There's another Chinese place a bit further up with a poncy name and minimalist decor. but it's hard to get into and no better than the other one.
• There's a McDonalds, KFC, a couple of chip shops and at least one tea room. There are also a couple of restaurants in the area which are worth a look (ie the Bombay Brasserie).
• Go to Bromley instead? You must be joking. There's a new Pie and Mash shop in the Walnuts, and the Bombay Brasserie in Green Street Green is the classiest Indian place anywhere. The Fish and Chip shop at the top of Goddington Lane is really good as well. Basically, anything Bromley serves can be got in Orpington, sometimes a lot better and almost always cheaper.
• Don't bother, go to Bromley instead.

Pubs

• pubs in orpington should be avoided unless you like bad attitudes and violence from sad individuals.
• Daylight Inn in Petts Wood is definatley worth a mention. Its got better over the years. Personally I would avoid anything with Wetherspoons over the door unless you're really desperate for real ale, you do get some funny types in there who start talking to you out of the blue in a slurred voice. Plus the pubs smell and so do their clientele. And what is wrong with the White Hart, many a good pub quiz has been had in there, beers OK too...
• Try the Daylight on a Sunday. Everyone avoids it hte rest of the week but it is always busy on a Sunday nite for some reason!
• The Maxwell this is an interesting pub if you are living in the dark ages. You will be welcomed into this pub by a happy friendly landlady.I would not advise anyone to even enter this pub if you are interested in a good night out. Most of he current staff have to start learning the importance of personal hygiene.
• All pubs in the area are rubbish, particularly the Queens Head and Royal Oak where they don't know the meaning of service. At least the Royal Oak has a few decent wines and the beer is okay. The Queens Head has terrible landlords, dodgy dirty beer and warm revolting cheap wine. The food is poison.
• There are a lot of pubs in and around Orpington, it has even been said that that is all there is in Orpington. The Harvest Moon is crap. It's full of very old people, mainly men (with beards and pipes), and there is an arrogant bastard of a barman in there.( Young bloke - thoroughly up himself). I tend to travel to Bromley or even Petts Wood for pubs as they are generally better, with better people in them, and there's a slightly lower chance of getting attacked outside (it's not really that bad).
• has to be harvest moon for a pint, but if yer after food, worth exploring villagey outskirts - one in pratts bottom is dead good.
• The Chelsfield is good for a laugh, but only if you are a local and know everyone else. Otherwise it is naff and not worth travelling to. The Buff is quite good as well, but it's popularity has died down a lot in recent years and is usually only ever half full or half empty. The Harvest Moon is very cheap, but is full of old people who dribble in their drink.
• Harvest Moon (my fave), White Hart (Old Men), Ye Olde Blacksmith (dodgy Karaoke)
• The Bo Peep is circa 1548. Old smugglers stop off. Documented authentic history available. Was once a Coroners Court for a murder charge.
• The Original Royal Oak in Green St Green circa 1982 was easily the best pub Orpington and probably the world had ever see and anywhere else even if the landlord - Pat - was a miserable old tosser. Unfortunately it is now a Beefeater which peaked on Christmas Eve 1989. If you were there you will know what I mean. All other Orpington Boozers are crap.
• The Bo Peeps pretty nice, but for really excellent pubs go to Shoreham, the roads may be ridiculously narrow and winding, but you can tell by the fact there's never a parking space that the pubs are good.
• Steer clear mate, except perhaps the Harvest Moon which by Orpington standards is classy
• I hate to admit it but J.D.Wetherspoons isn't that bad, staff are friendly and reliable (Steph + Dan can pay me later). The food tastes okay but just don't ask them how they cook it (sorry Ray).
• Never mind the Orpington pubs- make your way up to The Bull in St Paul's Cray and get a decent pint of Speckled Hen inide you!
• A little known fact is that Orpington holds one of the best Karaoke venues in the south east, The White Swan in Kent Road, which is run by Norman and Barbra Pointer and features the talents of local Karaoke stars like Alan Sharp who sings the best rendition of Ginger Thing yov've ever heard.
• A veritable plethora of these are available in Orpington and the surrounding area. Try the Harvest Moon (the cheapest but also a Weatherspoons pub), the Cricketers is quite good, as well as the Rose and Crown in Green St Green, the Five Bells in Chelsfield, The Sovereign Seas in Petts Wood, and the Ramblers Rest which has to be the best place during the summer due to the large grass are around it which is an ideal place to have a drink on a cool summer's night.
• The Harvest Moon! The Harvest Moon! The Harvest Moon! OK, so it's a Wetherspoons pub and as such is the same as countless others up and down the country, but it's really nice and there's a no-smoking bit in there as well. The Sovereign of the Seas in Petts Wood's nice as well. Where's the Buff Orpington? And the Change of Horses? Never heard of them... The problem with the Maxwell is that most of the teachers from my old school (St Olave's) go in there during lunch time. Avoid the Artichoke in the High Street... it's the only place I know of that's had violence connected with it in recent times. The Cricketer's is one of the few places you can play pool on a Friday night without a five-hour wait first, and the Rose and Crown in Green Street Green's got a decent games room too. The White Hart's quiet if you want it that way...
• If you're thinking of drinking in Orpington, DON'T. Smash a glass in your face and go to hospital instead. No, not really, it's not that bad anymore now that I've left.
• Good pub: The BO PEEP, not in Orpington at all but in Chelsfield - nice village too. Another good pub - the Maxwell, next to the station. Good for getting polluted and forgetting where you are when you arrive in town.
• The Black Horse is up there with the buff as one of the best pubs in the town. It's run by a big hard bloke called Steve, an ex-copper but always loyal to his regulars. The pub itself is damm fine, not too good on the beer front.... lagers include Carling and Grolsch... not really up to much either of em but the place itself makes up for it, with countless fruit machines, a cool juke box and the nicest barmaids you'll meet this side of the Woolwich Arsenal - plus on bank holidays they have a bouncy castle which makes for a great night after you've been on the beers.
• I reckon the Buff Orpington is the best pub in town. They serve cold beer (good for us Aussies), they serve cold beer, they serve cold beer, they serve cold beer, they serve cold beer, they serve cold beer, they serve cold beer and they serve warm beer (good for you Poms). I'd also like to add The Change of Horses Hotel (I refer to it as The Change of Undies Hotel) to the list of great pubs in the area, but it's in Farnborough so I don't know if it counts.

Cafes and Coffee Shops

• The gift and craft shop Retrospect has the best value - plain and simple, very cheap, limited choice but very good. Delightful courtyard garden with masses of plants.
• Morellies is expensive and not that good, it's also not very popular due to the fact that the average person that bothers to go to Opington to shop can't afford it's prices. Nowhere else worth mentioning.
• Getting better... Wine bar does decent stuff, and rumbabas does a good cappucino.
• Rum Ba Ba's a kind of winey, bistroey kind of thing. I think you can get coffee...

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Last updated: 2008-05-15