The Knowhere Guide

Best and Worst in Chelmsford, Essex*

Chelmsford, Essex Triumphs and Tragedies

Favourite Building

• the nw bus station is nice.
• the shire hall its traditional and worth keeping
• odeon
• The grave yard opposite the Dr's surgery on writtle road has a really beautiful gate house.
• all of em
• APU
• Marconi's facade... part of Chelmsford's history. Plus, some of the University buildings.
• County Hall, Council Offices.
• Shire Hall
• Zeus before it was knocked down :(
• my nans appartment in Spain
• woolworths
• Old gasworks, where i used to bunk off school and check out the new pieces.
• SHIRE HALL
• the y go there its just the bomb its wicked!
• I have many, but my most favourite is the Shire Hall. Not least because it looks like the town hall from Back to the Future.
• the toilets in the park it has wicked graffiti on it and everyone hangs around down there
• the "y"
• "The Limes" in Grove Road and the old schoolhouse at the top of Mildmay Road - really mad that one!
• My house!! and the train station, which i think is nice, plus its the way out of chelmsford!
• The ramps are buildings...rite? The Y is nice to pass by any time...
• The Y it rocks and on a Friday nite loads pf people are therer and it is great but only if u r the grunge type and by the way we dont smell of BO it is thee trendies and townies and not all greebs wanna kill themselves cos i am perfectly happy.THANX N E WAY THO
• train station hahahaha
• KEGS - ain't it nice. no really!
• My House! down the avenues
• yes the town hall looks like it should be in back to the future but the church with the cross in the middle (u know the one)
• cater house caus u can see it from my house on a clear day.
• Cathedral
• The army and navy, cos thatound about pisses so many peeps off.
• Riverside Ice and Leisure
• Definately the Y.
• BROADWALK/EDWARDS!
• u what??.. the pub
• It's Chelmsford!??
• meet ya on the BRIDGE for a townage,great meetin spot
• The town hall. I love it's columns and it's history. By the way, it used to hold weekly dances in the 30's or earlier. I heard a story that a woman came out of there one evening, sat on the steps and SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED!!! Might be bollocks, but pretty good story, nonetheless.
• The bay horse pub
• THE Y.THE Y.THE Y.THE Y.THE Y.THE Y.THE Y. yo.
• the town hall it looks like the building out of back to the future
• The libary co smy Booooooooottttaaaaaayyy works there
• The Magistrates Court
• sex shop down moulsham street- aye for real :-)
• the YMCA
• The Pig and Whistle out Chignal Way - a cracking little pub! The Walnut Tree at Broads Green (also known by some as The Severed Head?)
• Probably Chelmsford Cathedral, it's quite pretty.
• well its more like a wall but i like it
• the Pub
• the was nice until it burned down
• King Edward VI Grammar school - nice old building best in Chelmsford "The" before it burnt down but it's being rebuilt so it still counts The Sun alliance building- it new and really nice
• I LIKE THE TRAIN STATION
• The Y.M.C.A it rules baby ! The train station
• The Baptist Church on Victoria Road South - one of the few Cford buildings with a bit of character.
• COUNTY COURTS-I KNOW IT LIKE MY OWN!!

Demolish It Now Building

• Burger King Towers!
• shire hall so ugly!
• Edwards.
• dukes with the chavs inside
• south and middle block of rainsford, even though i went there, the multi storey above the market and melbourn flats.
• Some where near Honey pots, theres a little den that was made out of bracken, by some guy that was arrested for takeing photos or something. thats seems like a pretty bad place to me. But other then that I suppose Cater house sould go, its home of the crappy dream FM radio. The building is big, grey, and manky- it aint beautiful.
• There are so many to mention in Chelmsford. The Green Auction house in Victoria Road, The Gas Works down near town are all eye sores. The Caters Building that Houses Dream 107.7 needs a good face lift also
• melbourne flats..
• high chelmer (love the shops but is is dated and really ugly)
• Burger King building, what a dump.
• Baddow High
• The flats and offices which replaced Zeus Nightclub!!!!! Zeus was the best club in Essex!!!!!
• Cater House, including the frontage onto the High St ( a cheap and nasty high rise dominating the whole High St: the buildings in the High St housing Dixons and phone4rus; the Woolworths building (which fronts onto the High St and Springfield Rd; the ugly 1960s which juts out above the ground floor (again, somewhere near Dixons; the mult-storey car park above the market.......
• School
• the fuckin bus station
• Anglia Polytechnic University (all Buildings) Horrible place, most are falling down anyway
• melbourne flats...home of the junkies
• dunno every greebo one
• Definatly the police station - it looks like reject 60s modernism at its most socially distructive. Have you ever wanted to attatch a chain to the back of a bull dozer and remove one of those pillars?
• OLD MULTI-STOREY. CORNER OF MARKET ROAD/PARKWAY
• shire hall
• There's nothing I would demolish, but I would like to travel back in time and slap grade listings on many of the historic bulidings that were demolished in the name of 'progress'. I have seen pictures of tindal street in the early 1900s and it was full of absolutely gorgeous timber buildings before the High Chelmer shopping centre was built.
• Buildings which should be flattened...Well, i'm sure most people will shout in agreement if i say the whole god-awful town of Melbourne should be flattened.Along with 60% of its youth... these are the criminals of chelmsford you know.
• any trendy shops.
• town hall any none greebo shops
• County Hall
• The boswells school has gotta go pls, take it away i cant bear to look at it for one more second.
• Melbourne Flats
• Demolish Melbourne Flats, demolish APU concrete mess in the centre of town and demolish the new boxes they're building on the old Marconi site - actually don't bother I've seen them being built and give them ten years and they'll come down all by themselves...
• Cater House, eww!! and the market! and the Goddam bus station! OMG and Melbourne flats, actually melbourne generally!!
• BASE. They sell nickelson t-shirts by the barrelfull....
• Edwards Bar
• oxfam
• Eastern National Bus station used to work there once what a shit hole
• Dukes and Zeus. Preferably with most of the trendies in it.
• zeus, dukes and melbourne flats, actualy every single house in the area of melbourne
• The bus station is where gay boys go to get their filth portions. It stinks of piss!
• The Y - now where will you nu-metal kids go huh? HUH?
• the public toilets up kings road
• police station. ugly.
• The cathedral...its scaryand the y...i used to love it but if we demolishit now we'll get all the fraggles while they're still in there
• the gas towers or shire hall........which should go first..?!
• Dixon's in the High Street. YUK!
• ZEUS AND DUKES
• Bus station
• Gas towers opposite the Waterfront restaurant!
• H&M its just been built so lets f*****g pull it down yea anarchy,kool and of course Melbourne Tower aaahhhhhhhh.
• zeus, dukes reds etc
• Greebo hang out place, probably the skate board park not really a building but its better than nothing...
• The multi storey car park
• ZEUS!!!!
• dukes or zeus, im not fussy
• Chelmsford!!
• That bloody shopping precinct next toWoolworth's. It's shite!!!!
• M&G House, preferably with all employees inside. The Rendez-Vous - sell some proper beer at prices that don't require an overdraft extension!
• Flatten Zues and Dukes at once. Build happy places for happy people.
• THE Y.THE Y.THE Y.THE Y.THE Y.THE Y.THE Y. and all the greebs that hang there, eww. get out of town.
• mosque
• some shit whole full of trendies
• Icant remember the name of the building but its the only one in the town centre thats tall enough to abseil down.
• Melbourne block of flats- with the residents still in it
• zeus
• The Civic Centre - its full of dried up old tossers who profess to be working for Chelmsford when they're really just feathering their own nests - and this applies to council officers more so than councillors!
• Dukes, preferably with the people who go there still in it (just kidding!)
• County Hall, cos I work there.
• town center
• town center in general
• Cater House (where Burger King is), the big police building thingy, the old multi storey car park and market (you'd never guess it had a major revamp a few years back), ... and there's so many more! ;-)
• Carter House- SHIT need I say more
• KEGS Grammer School... No questions asked.
• The one by the river at the end of the High Street. Cater House. THe only thing it's good for is Abseiling down!
• All the new Barrat-type homes. Cford is polluted with them!
• The gas works
• THE MOSQUE-YOU KNOW-THE ONE THAT THE BUILDERS GAVE UP HALF WAY AND LEFT THE TOP PART TO BE FINISHED BY APPRENTICES.
• MELBOURNE FLATS !!!!

The Best Things

• good shops, good bars good clubs,.
• the best thing in chelmsford is all the people in central, they r really nice, nd u r guarenteed to have an amazing time, skate, get stoned, get drunk, mess around in general, i must say, is predominently populated with people of my type(goths, greebos, emos, skaters, stoners ect) but is an amazing place full of amazing people. and you can easily do wot ever you want!
• CENTRAL PARK and anywhere else where me and my mates have hung out in the summer or the winter!!!!
• Its quite safe, In certian areas.
• everything!
• The cool nice people
• Some nice pubs outside the town centre. Good selection of shops. 35 mins on train to London. Countryside on your doorstep. Some bloody big boot sales!
• Chelmsford YMCA's 'Summer Fest - Y2K5' in Central Park August 16,17,18 (2005) 3 days of free entertainment for youth including Battle of the Bands, Skate Ramp Competitions, Art Projects, Talent Shows, DJ's Football Competitions and much more.. Phone the Y or just drop by..
• Nightlife
• Family, McFLY, Busted, Blue, V, Blazin Squad, The Calling, Eastenders, Mates, Boys camera phone, internet and Spain
• the best thing about chelmsford is looking at it through the rear view mirror when you're leaving!
• the way you can get out of there
• mememememememememememememememememememememmemememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememmeeememeememeememememememememememmememeememeemeeeeeememememememmememeememeemememememememememememeemmeeemmeemeeemeemmeememmeememmeemememememememeemmememmeemememeemeememeememememememememmemmemememememeemeememememeemememememememememeemememememememememememememmmmmemeemeememememememeeemmememeemmeemee
• InMe (Dave McPherson, Joe Morgan, Simon Taylor)
• I disagree with the person who said its better than Southend - theres just no decent alternative clubs in Chelmsford and even the Army and Navy is crap now. The best thing about Chelmsford is the fact you can get out of it at will because the buses are fairly good, but expensive.
• CHELMSFORDIANS
• Miny skirts
• the y
• The old buildings that were left for us to enjoy.I particularly like the view from the bottom of Moulsham Street up into Old Moulsham. There are so many Victorian and Edwardian houses around the town that I didn't even notice when I was younger. My favourite thing to do on a saturday, is pop to Ottakers or Waterstones to buy a book, go to Costa get a Mocha and sit down and read.
• Waterstones! great book shop. odeon cinemas good, Hylands park too
• The way everybody knows everyone in Chelmsford, and my regular Friday night cider
• being wiv ur mates down da park or in da town
• Moving out of Chelmsford
• central park and the "y" are wicked if ur a greeb so get on down there.
• Everyone puts Chelsmford down as being such a bad town where there is nothing to do but drink and smoke pot but that is not true. The bestthing about Chelmsford is the friends u make very easily and the parties are not too shabbie either
• The Bay Horse,
• the spirit, the attitude, the town, the proximity to london!!
• The Ramps, The Y, the record stores, the clothes stores( above mentioned), anywhere!!! It rocks! But nowhere trends are...like outside maccy d's....no siree bob.
• 24 hour tesco
• the fit boys you see wondering around the town
• Sk8 park!!!!!!
• Alan Boreham - stealing buses is dangerous and cool.
• AAAAAAAH CENTRAL PARK ON A SUNNY AS LEVEL RESULTS DAY, ON THE EVE OF V2001 WITH EVERYBODY DRUNK/STONED AND GETTING STUNG BY WASPS.
• Absolutely nothing. Well. Dukes at a push.
• many idiots to look down on.
• Erm...*shrugs*NOT BEING BEATEN UP/CHASED BY TOWNIES THERES A START!!!!
• the people.....well the grunge part of the population anyway.
• The staff at the Museum.
• New "city centre" to be built around the west end by the station. New marina development on the canal.Big new athletics stadium and indoor track being built up in Melbourne.
• My house and central and the Y and Booyaka and my site http://www.jonathanbarnes.co.uk
• GREEBOS
• The atmosphere, every one who lives there (not including greebos) and Riverside Ice and Leisure centre and the night clubs...
• SocAck on Tuesdays at the Y
• PUBS AND BARS, THESE ARE GOOD- JUST NEED THE CLUBS TO MATCH NOW.
• the alternative scene, the sofa's in argos.. very comfy.. the college where u do nothing.. oh and wilkinsons where u can nick pick n mix by weighing the stuff wrong... security 297 or something they used to say when we went in there
• All the alternative people!!
• townage on a friday afternoon.
• The 'city's '(big debate)history, the market (which may not be big, but makes me nostalgic. The theatres and the pukka hospital in Broomfield (I'm a nurse).
• Easy birds at Dukes nightclub and other venues.
• Statue of Judge Tindal with bollard/mop end on his head Bring back Jacksons Warehouse and Martin James Fashions!
• The Bridge over the A12 as you can piss off it when you come out of McD's at Boreham. The Hothouse.
• The best thing about Chelmsford is that it is better than Southend. And that is pretty much it. Apart from ... no, actually, that really is it.
• Chelmsford's "vibrant" West End.
• going down zeus and watching a bloke who tries to knob girls through his trouses i think his name is marsbar so his been nic named the MARSBAR THRUST
• All the fit Blokes. They all dress really smartly and the one good thing is they will pay for your drinks all night unless your names james and you went to felsted school.
• havin freedom 2 express ur self usually
• Zeus
• Plenty of nice country pubs on the outskirts of the town. Fantastic looking young girls going to Zeus on a wednesday night when I'm just finishing work! The smelly old tramp that wanders around town all day - good on yer! The mad lady with the big brown fur coat that looks like a bear that died three years ago, she's top entertainment when she's on form and should get a government grant!
• Slipped Discs II, BB's blueberry muffins, Costa Mocchacino's
• mates
• the bats on the other side of the lake in central park and the cannal is pretty cool
• WELL CHELMSFORD HAS SUCH A GREAT ATMOSHPERE YER IT CAN GET BORING SOME TIME SBUT I WOULD HATE TO BE NE WHERE ELSE U LIKE KNOW EVERY BODY AND THEY KNOW YOU THE SHOPS ARE GETTIGNBETTER LIKE ALL THE TIME AND IT IS A GREAT PLACE TO MEET UP WITH PEOPLE FROM THE AREA !
• it has an ok ish night life and not far from london
• The people. You have to remember that a lot of Cford residents work in London, so they tend to behave as though they're still in London (don't talk to strangers, avoid eye contact etc). However, if you make the first move and initiate conversation, you'll see a different side to the person you're talking to. The bookshops - at last!
• Loads of different places to eat, to drink, to dance etc. Recently Chelmsford has really changed and got loads better with more shops and new restaurants.
• The Army & Navy on summer Sundays.
• You can get fairly quickly into London
• Host of the V98 festival, Chelmsford Spectacular and Essex County Cricket Ground and Chelmsford City Football Club
• The best thing about Chelmsford is: it's a darn sight better than Brentwood, which is officially the most boring town in Britain. The pubs are all right but the clubs are all shite. It was a good town to go to school in.
• An ideal day in Chelmsford starts with a bit o'shopping (InLines et al), then a lazy summers afternoon in the park kicking a ball around (try not to laugh when you kick it onto Parkway and almost cause a pileup), watching the procession of lads/girlies (according to preference), then to the Ship/Fleece for pints and nosh, then to Dukes for more lads/girlies. Tumble out of Dukes circa 1am to get a Dixy's and watch the Street Theatre (aka Police Dog Unit v J.Random Pisshead). This is life in Cfd. I love it.

The Worst Things

• the chavs
• The Chav scum that hang outside Maccy D's and High Chelmer led by a small idiot guy with buck teeth. You know who they are
• screeming children! i know ur kids yourself but just tell them to be quiet its not tha difficult!
• Chavs
• Bad achitecture. Manky People. Danger.
• Too many pubs aimed at the 18 - 24 market. If you are over thirty the assumption is you work in London, get drunk in London and can't be bothered with Chelmsford. If Chelmsford had something pitched at over thirties this wouldn't be a self fulfilling prophecy. No local papers want to help promote Live music and other forms of entertainment. It should be their duty to help this town be a cultural haven. It was the Home of Radio once!!!
• nothing!
• the mini chavs the just hang about outside the train station or maccy d's
• Minority of mindless idiots in town centre on a Fri or Sat night. Just steer clear. Expensive train tickets to London (though service is good).
• New Generation Doors, dont deal with them, they will RIP YOU OFF!
• Some people round here have a real, 'i'm better than you attitude', which should be left at home if you ask me!
• Bullies, School
• Anglia Polytechnic University, unprofessionally run, waste of space
• without a doubt the apathetic and winey nature of the residents. what would it take to get up and rectify the problem? lack of music? put on some gigs, no good clubs? start a night, talk to a venue, it's no big deal. one other point is that if anyone here wants to start a club nite etc... make sure it gets promoted, too many clubs in chelmsford have died because of a lack of publicity!
• the trendies
• army and navy roundabout, its a nightmare since the lights were changed for any one coming from moulsham lodge way!!!
• dddddddduuuuuunnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
• chelmsford sk8 park
• The lack of decent clubs, the number of trendies, the lack of a decent university (i'm an APU student), the lack of car parking and the expense of the car park above the market. Lets face it.... almost everything is equally abismal.
• BORED TEENAGERS
• bleach blonds
• All the scum from London that have moved to Chelmer Village and ruined it.They walk around stinking of b.o. with greasy hair and coffee-coloured children.Also,the clientelle of the "Chelmer Inn" who think they are so hard,wearing football shirts and they havent got the bottle to attend a match!
• buskers and shire hall
• The cost of house prices and cost of general living. It has become very much a commuter town and few locals can actually afford to buy their own house here.
• Its gotta be the people..not all, there are some really cool people and as a whole, Chelmsfords a friendly place, with the exeption of the gangs who stretch their salivaral glands to the limit outside mcdonalds,burger king, the train station and the park (central). Seriously.. -5 degrees and they still stand there, and the thing is..they do it so they can assault younger people..its not unusual for old people and younger teenagers to be assaulted or verbally abused by these gangs. But the police sadly cant crack down on these wiggers and wannabe gangsters
• Friends have been mugged, and me and my boyfriend were hit by some of the trendies just because of what we were wearing...why?
• every trendy shop
• The way they drive..Have any actually passed their tests? The people in Chelmsford are either braindead,two faced or morons, or all three! (maybe its just an Essex thing.)The girls either go around with a threatening look on their faces (think they are hard more stupid!)or they are dressed up like tarts...Very surprised to say this but the men in Chelmsford are'nt as bad (mostly)I lived in Chelmsford for 19 yrs, at the age of 30 decided to leave as its no place to bring up children as people there have no more on their minds then to intimadate people, beat them up or just swear at each other.Moving was the best thing I ever did..Do it now!!
• all the none greebo shops
• the worst thing is there are some snotty people that think they are allat but if u want to get past them just say get out of my face and walk past them if they have ballz they will stand up for them selves if not they will back downa and leave it at that
• Chelmsford Borough Council allowing Hylands Park to be closed off totally to the public all summer in a couple of years so the bloody Scouts can have a Jamboree and dig holes in it and wreak it for the rest of us.
• Melbourne!! and the moody skaters! and the stoopid city application! and town becomes borin very quickly!! everyone knows everyone, its scary!
• BASE, the meadows, Maccy D's.
• the flippin new roundabout on writle/chelmsford road by the new estate that i now have to fuckin walk round
• the mingers that wander around and the girls that thing they are well hard
• The worst thing about my hometown is the scumbag junkies that hang around with the drunks near the kiddies playground,the sooner they all o.d. and die the better,sick of these people intimidating the young mothers and children.
• The trendies. Da place is fuckin full of them. And they start on you if you blink wrongly.
• the worst thing about chelmsford is chelmsford
• Alan Boreham - stealing busus is not dangererous or cool.
• Melbourne.
• too many idiots.
• BEING CHASED/BEATEN UP BY TRENDIES...WHAT THE **** HAVE WE EVER DONE TO YOU???
• the trendies!!!!!!!!!
• People cycling up the High Street!
• H&M, miss selfridge and that batty shop topman.
• TRENDIES
• Goths, Greebos, what eva u wanna call em
• too many cars too few buses and too expensive public transport
• DRINKS PRICES IN DUKES!
• the trendy scene.. sadly this tends to happen in the evening lots of wankers using gallons of hair gell
• The trendies!
• the great lack of men shoes and why dont they ever ever get any new ones in,some one tell me whyy????
• The crime.
• CCTV, Cozzers, Judge Tindals Tavern
• Dukes, Zeus, and the Essex pondlife that frequents them.
• Everything about Chelmsford is awful. It has no night life, no decent jobs, high crime and fights, no music venue and hypocritical politicians. Event he local papers suck. Get out!!! Get out as soon as you can!!
• currently Chelmsford have embarked upon a scheme to dispose of their Council Houses , by selling them to a Housing Company. They claim this will stop rents going up so fast. Logic suggests it is short termism, in the long run rents will soar as the new Housing Company struggles to repay the cost of buying the houses, and doing the alleged repairs, and maintain a resonable service. Also, of course, the tenancy will change from that of being a "secure tenant" to becoming an "Assured tenant". The latter does not give the tenant the same protection as the former. A new group is forming and you can view it on www.smartgroups.com/groups/vern137, and e-mail your views to the group on vern137@smartgroups.com. Also see www. defendcouncilhousing.org.uk/
• Chelmer FM
• the y club full of p**S stinking grebos
• The girls are a bit tarty and all up their own arses
• Chelmer FM, the up-their-own-backsides-cos-they-are-a-big-club-honest Chelmsford City FC fans. They can rot.
• Crap roads; the traffic lights on the Army & Navy; the County Council (wankers); the Borough Council (more wankers), that Mr Bishop who always slates the V concerts and the Spectacular - total tosser! School kids who walk three abreats across the footpath on Broomfield Road.
• Essex Boys/Girls
• Chelmsford
• towns center
• the town center in general
• Moody types who want to fight you to make up for their small member size(or something)
• IT GETS BORING WHEN U R THERE EVERY WEEKEND
• The blandness. You have to go to the surrounding villages to find places with character.
• Dukes boys and dull birds that realm the alleys at night
• Puffa jackets. Boy racers in their souped up XR3i's. Essex FM. Need i say more?
• You cant get to London quick enough
• After afew minutes chelmsford can lose its appeal and it's a really ugly place to live
• ALL THE WANKERS AND THE CLUBS
• The worst thing about Chelmsford is the bus station, that horrible stinking place full of buses & fumes. The buses themselves are also pretty useless. They should sort the whole thing out, preferably by knocking it down.
• The canal's a bit scummy, too many of the shops are identical mainstreamers, feels grim in winter when the wind whips down the High Street. Only go in the summer.

The Knowhere Guide started out as a list of places to skateboard in the UK. It is a compilation of (unedited) information and views supplied by users like yourself. It is not a conventional tourist guide!

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Credits

Last updated: 2007-10-16