The Knowhere Guide

Inside Information in Uxbridge, Middlesex*

Uxbridge, Middlesex Hookup Spots and Stuff Only Locals Know

Inside Information

• so you want a hook up spot? well go to fasnidge, not only will you then finally fit in, but u cn gather m8's nd sk8 witth other ppl, not on ur larry. i wud say also go check out civvie area but if u dnt know the ppl they aint just gunna talk to u   
• the train station and the civic centre. when we meet in uxbridge we meet at the hogs head (opposite civic0   
• fassnidge skate park is gd for meeting up   
• Outside Tesco Metro   
• ummm Fassinadge, its alrite, tis been rebuilt but...its still shit and has a closing time...which is like 8, to stop all these chav twats from dealing drugs n shite, and few stabbins here n there.   
• The odeon cinema   
• Outside the Co-Op down the Long Lane Shops. All the local townies hang out there in the evenings clogging up the pavement. Dont worry though, they rarely start on people, but ask any old enough looking person who walks by to buy them some booze. If this happens to u, say "NO" but in a polite way, and wish them luck, and they will be fine about it.   
• I heard if you shag the fat bird from The Old Bill then you get served pretty quick! If you cant bring yourself to do such a disgusting deed (lets face it, its pretty disgusting as shes more manly than Arnie!!) then you'll have to keep on waiting like a gimp for a life time!! Oh well, theres always that gay pub further down the high street....your always gaurenteed a quick hand shandy!!   
• royales nite club is a good nitght out derinks are cheap an you dont get no kids underage in   
• You can find the 13 year-old rudeboys of Uxbridge covering every square inch of the town centre: especially sitting on the railings leading from the bus station to the tube.   
• outside woolworths- everyone meets there now. or even outside the new shopping centre!!   
• Fassinige Park - skate ramp rebuilt or being rebuilt - i have camped in that park it was funny. Always good to find other people from the area that have similar interests -no townies The common where at one point of the year we also have carters steam fair The ski slope which is no longer a ski slope but you get a great view of the area especially on fire work night and when i actual dry ski stuff was still there we used to enjoy going down it on upside down tables a lot   
• Ok, get on a U1 to Ruislip and on the way you'll come across Ickenham. Find "the pump", get a bottle of Thunderbirds/Pinklady/Lambrini or if you're rich you can get taboo/mirage then just stand on "the pump" or around it abusing people for no reason and "starting on" someone who doesn't deserve it. Once you've done that you really don't need to EVER go to Royales as this is a free (and better - it's not quite as eighties and there's none of that rubbish music either) mini version of it.   
• Fassnidge Park - plenty of benches, grass, broken glass   
• A load of us enjoy goin dwn to the Good Yarn to start the nite off, head to the Old Bill, packed but does the job. Mind the annoyin pissheads dat won't leave ya alone! alround if ur local u know it won't hurt to walk home unless ur feet r bleedin from da silly shoes dat u said u wouldn't wear again!   
• There are a hell of a lot of grungers hanging out on the 'wall' outside the pavillions, so if you're into that..... If not, all; you can rally do is wander round the shops and hope u bumb into someone u know.   
• By Hongs chinese mini bar type place, but it stinks of piss   
• The alley outside Tesco Metro   
• on any bench in the town centre. or down windsor street near wendys hairdressers or the church where all the underage smokers go for a quick fag hopein they havent been spoted by the nan and grandad.   
• We've very much cleared up the droogs problem with Fountain's Mill. Now it's damn hard to find any.   
• Yes do come and join the selfish morons on their motorbikes . . We ARE watching you and YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.Remember Stockley road . . Make the local residents lives an absolute mysery.Who needs to sleep anyway.   
• at the back of the chimes no 1 goes there and its prettty quiet which is good cause you can do things without getting maoned at   
• The pedestrian area between the Chimes and the Pavilions. But that's just the local townie 13 year olds trying to be hard.   
• outside the pavillions is where a lot of the towny chicks hang around when their waiting to get some draw.   
• there is a group of about 200 young teenagers that all wear identical clothes (yes tracksuit and bomber jacket) who hang around the Brunel University sign on the weekends drinking cider - IF ONLY I COULD JOIN IN!!   
• Just inside the entrance to the Train Station...Bus Station side that is   
• Outside the pavilions shopping centre with the red cross.   
• proably outside the station?   
• North End   
• If you are a biker then a good place to meet is the roundabout off of the Stockley Park road to the industrial estate. No rozzers, not many cars, no cameras though the signs suggest that there is and plenty of knees down stuff and racing up and down stockley park Rd. I know this as I live very close by and being a biker myself I know when someone is doing a wheelie as the sound is quite unmistakable. Go on, you know you want to...   
• Uxbridge Bus and Train Station OR the back entrance to Woolworths   
• The pedestrianised area outside Marks and Spencer.   

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Last updated: 2008-06-25