The Knowhere Guide

Local Heroes in Carlisle, Cumbria*

Carlisle, Cumbria Famous Residents

Cringing Cult of Celebrity (Famous residents and ex-residents.)

• that legendary mover and shaker of the Carlisle Music scene Nigel Holmes, whatever happened to him
• no one famous is from carlisle, silly, oh wait, our cheery news presenter - emma dougless ! phwoar... what a reason to watch the news
• Just found out that one of the actors in Russel Crowes new film, Master and Commander, is from carlisle. His name's Bryan Dick. Maybe we have a future famous ex resident type situation. Watch this space i reckon.
• David Harkins best artist from Carlisle by miles. He writes great poetry too. Just ask the Queen.
• PAUL ROUTLEDGE MOTORCYCLE RACER - SEEN IN ACTION AROUND ENGLANDS TRACKS AND ON SKY SPORT! EARLYSTOCKS 250cc/600cc/1300cc CHAMPION AND COMPETED IN THE NATIONAL APRILLIA CHALLENGE.
• The ironic thing is that apart from a few BMXer's who were quite famous on kids TV in 1985 (for 15 minutes), and Paul Dodd (are we really proud of that cock?) Carlisle really hasn't had much in the way of famous people!! I think we're all happy to keep it real.
• I know Mary Queen of Scots was executed here but more recently Blackburn Rovers striker Matt Jansen hails from Carlisle.
• Noel Edmonds mum That guy from 911 That guy who was on Faking It and became a hairdresser works at Toni&Guy CFM radio presenters?!?!? Eric Wallace?!?!?
• Some guy who did something, engineer or something used to live near talkin tarn, his initials are scratched on one of the windows. I used to live next door
• Gary and Mark of Lil Devious, got a mention on their first 12". Flying high with M O Sound now. GO ON Lads!
• him out of the utah saints him out of 911 him that never quite made it as a boxer her that never quite made it as a kick boxer
• ERIC WALLACE,the man, the legend. PAUL DODD,idiot football hooligan, leader of the B.C.F[boys can't fight]motto NO SURRENDER ,NO BRAINS NO BALLS,more like. MICHEAL TATTERSAL,local eccentric wanders through town changes his clothes at least five times a day.Known to ware a Tina turner wig or a Nazi uniform. BIG BRIAN,tatooed manchild hangs around Mikes tatooz and the Border Rambler pub in botchergate.Likes to think he's well conected with local bigtime criminals.Hangs around nightclub bouncers who only just tollerate him. CHARLES SHEPPERD,pint sized ex boxing world champ, resembles a spidermonkey.Drives a sponsorship car with his name plastered all over it incase anyone forgets who he is, has a braindead groupie girlfriend.Apparently a pretty decent chap though,not as stupid as he looks, has some boxing talent. JAFFA,Star wars obbsessed hardman but abit smelly apparently. PAUL "PD" DONALDSON,singing carpetfitter,no obvious talent,has a Depech-mode inpired band ADFINEM claims to have toured everywhere but is known to be a pathological liar.Someone best avoided,a gentle giant but a pain in the arse. GED CROOKS,local buisnessman and nightclub owner,drives through city centre in his electic blue jag convertable has alot of sicophantic "friends" trophey young girlfriend.Has his fingers in lots of pies[say no more!]. BILLY DIXON,local news vendor "not many left now" recently accused of rape of young girls over twenty years ago,still to be proven though. RICHARD MADELEY,the put upon tv smoothy worked her for a couple of years.
• Stuart Vevers, legendary party animal now famous international handbag designer( Bottega Venetta now Givenchy) came from here his fabulous designs can be seem on Absolutely Fabulous 2001 series darling!!
• Micheal Tattersal a local eccentric often seen wandering around carlisle city centre on most days wareing strange items of clothing such as fright wigs and german army uniforms.I myself spotted Micheal one wet saturday afternoon walking down botchergate wareing a deerstalker and cape[sherlock holmes style] carring an ironing board.He is harmless but provides much amusement!!! David "JAFFA"Oliver,another local eccentric! A bit of a hardman who seems who enjoy his hardman reputation.Despite this there is another side to JAFFA;he has the largest collection of STARWARS,STAR TREK,DR WHO, SCI-FI memorabelia in the north of England if not the whole of Britain but he's far from modest about his collection which takes up the whole of his fathers house in currock street.He's more than willing to show around anybody who's interested.But be prepared for a long stay as he is very informative and talkative.Don't let his "reputation" put you off he's often quite friendly and always good for a laugh!!
• Kevin Beattie (ipswich, England Football Player.) the firestarters (claire lowther, jenna laverick.) Matt Jansen, rory delap, scott dobie, all of carlisle united. how are shit because baz supports man united and mad maccer supports gillingham
• Lee from 911 (!) we are so proud - not!
• Nobody seems to have mentioned Steve Harkness the ex Liverpool and Benfica man,now playing for Blackburn.Iwent to Newlaithes school with him.Or how about Bob Mortimer?I believe he is from nearby Brampton!Or (and were really scraping the barrel here!) how about Stuart "Pepi" Winder BMX BEAT champ in 1985!
• The man in the lift at Binns (now house of Fraser)who talked a million to the dozen as he took you up and down the floors. Sadly missed!
• Does anyone else remember when Lee Brennan out of 911 (who used to go to omy school) worked behind the counter in the Hollywood Bowl?!!
• The guy who sells the Evening News and Star and who has been shouting 'Only one or two.... there's not many left' for well over 20 years!!!!
• Margaret Forster...Author of Hidden Lives, which is written about Carlisle Life
• paul dodd, idolised by allot of carlisles scallys. what a dick he is. often found in the prince of wales in denton holme, shouting randomly at people. I could batter him.
• Billy Dixon, the "Not many left now" geezer
• There is a small village to the west of Carlisle named Pow, which was founded by Adam West (of Batman fame) after he visited the area in the 60s and fell in love with it.
• Eddie Stobart
• greg ridley the bass player out of spooky tooth and 70 supergroup humble pie!!!! his real name is alf ridley and he lived in upperby
• Eddie Stobbart lives here!! even has a shop down by the cathedral!!
• Richard Madeley (as in Richard and Judy) used to live there!
• Rudolph Hess, stayed a couple of nights at the Castle (with his aeroplane) after landing in Scotland on his famous peace-keeping mission.
• Blackbur player, Matt jansen, used to live in nearby Weatheral.
• I believe the Mother of Thomas Woodrow Wilson was born in Carlisel. Thomas Woodrow Wilson was ex-president of the United States. Thomas Woodrow Willson's Mother's Father was The Rev'd Thomas Willson, Minister of a Church on I believe it's English Street. (If you go up Warwick road and turn Right, the church is on the right). There is a plaque on the wall of the church with all of the information on it.
• Lee Brenman gadge person from 911
• The most notable was the late "Chris the Tramp". He was a well known down and out famed for directing trafic on Botchergate on a Saturday afternoon. Also famous but for the wrong reasons is Paul Dodd. One of Britains most notorious football hooligans, he has been banned from all grounds in Britain and has been arrested more times than can be imagined. Reputed head of the BCF. (Border City Firm)
• I'm not too sure about modern day celebs however it is common knowledge that the father of Abraham Lincoln (successful US President, last century) lived in one of the grand houses at the top of Warwick Road near the centre of town. Exactly which one I am unsure of.

Buskers, Street Entertainers

• OLD POMSY THAT USED TO HANG AROUND BY THE TOWN HALL YEARS AGO, WITH HIS BOTTLE OF "JUICE" AND HAS PLASTIC BAG OF "ADULT READING MATERIAL"
• THE OLD GUY!!!! carlisle dwellers will all know who he is he stands outside HSBC all day EVERY day selling papers, does anyone actually know wot he's saying we reckon it's possibly "There's only one or two left" but all he says is "thuronliwunatluft"
• TOWN CENTRE
• "haddock"......"evening news" yes, thats what he says. & he's my mates uncle ! and i have one had to help him bubp start his little scooter, he didnt even say thanks ! Chriss the tramp R.I.P
• "Not Many left now!" Yes there fucking is.
• punky tom, hangs around sporting a variety of interesting hair and clothes, really good, oh and ed sometimes with him, the guy who usually is outside barclays hasn't been around for ages, but he was great!!!! :.
• one outside barclays is v.talented.... one outside body shop doing stone roses...the guy selling newspapers outside midland is always good entertainment
• just tramps
• Look out for a handsome punk guy busking mostly Pogues and Billy Bragg stuff, and give him lots of money.
• City Centre in the summer - brass bands etc.
• 'THE APRIL SUNSNSHINE' were by far best buskers in the town. where are they now? Dave'the boy' Elliot, Scott'the streak' Lancaster, Phil Exile and Mad Mike Taylor.
• Noticed a girl with her dog palying the violin - a very good player and deserves to be paid well for her talents. Good buksers outside Barclays bank but haven't seen him in a while.
• There's a REALLY nice young briliant busker who hangs around outside Barclays Bank on Saturdays!Go see him record producer people!
• Apart from the old newspaper fart and religious nutters, not much. Exceptions are at Christmas and Easter when fetes are held in the city centre.
• Old gadgie selling newspapers 'there's only on or two left marra'.

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Last updated: 2007-11-05