The Knowhere Guide

Going Out in Windsor, Berkshire*

Windsor, Berkshire Clubs, Music Venues, Cinemas

Clubs (Dance Music) and Music Bars

• Loads. Avoid Bar One, it's rubbish. Chgicagos is good, Bronx is the best though, looks rubbish but good in there.
• Supernova is the best because it is the least pretentious and most friendly and was until recently was fortunate enough to have a remarkable absense of townies and squaddies and pikeys (who seem to have this incredible idea they are better than others but are just too stupid to realise how stupid they are)but that's starting to change now
• Two more clubs in Windsor these days are 1. The Scotch bar, open till late, more a late twenties type club 2. Supanova, a gay friendly club; both can be found underneath the train arches. Mirage is now called liquid and owned by that evil called Luminar, still is a teen type club and id is needed by everyone (even oaps)
• Mirage night club is huge... some famous DJ's play there and they have lots of levels and chill-outs with different sounds... also black nights. It's not quite Heaven but it's ok for a small town. Windsor has dozens of fun pubs! (well over a hundred bars in all) If you want to mingle with those who are 100 times richer than you... try Harpoon Louis club (rumoured to be part owned by George Lucas) at the bottom of peascod street and just around to the right... I saw a chart singer there... she was on top of the pops that same week... and some of chelsea football club (wear good shoes or you wont get in)
• Bronx - small, dark, and smelly - but cheaper than most of Windsor's pubs, music ok - if there was a fire though, you'd die. Harpoon Louis - a good laugh, music good BUT drinks very expensive and members only. Mirage - now reopened as 'Liquid' (I think) - a bizarre place before with a massie stage and poor accoustics. Chicago Rock - absolutely stinks of sick, full of drunken old hags and be prepared to pay £4 for a crappy cheap alchopop - only go in if you're hammered!
• Mirage -> Any drug you like Chicago's -> More for the girlies who are up for it! The Bronx -> Last resort for the alchaholics that can't get in anywhere else Harpoon Louis's -> Strictly for th good looking upmarket people who blow their monthes wages on a saturday night on coke and a bird they won't shag Scotch Bar -> Actually a nice place, but half a german lager for 3 quid, behave yourself!
• Mirage in William Street is THE worst club in the UK, perhaps an overwhelming statement but undeniably true. It's full of townie idiots fighting and stabbing each other to the sound of UK garage, lovely. The Bronx is small and a bit of dump, but it can be quite fun in there sometimes. London and Reading are so close by train...
• You forgot good old Chicago's......plays great old booty shakin' music, 60s and 70s.
• The Bronx Chicago Rock cafe Harpoon Louise's Mirage
• The Monarchy "Formally Mirage", has recently opened following a 'refurbishment', if thats what you call it. The owners have taken out the old crappy House music that was there before and have replaced it with Garage. Having been the first two weeks of opening I can say that security has been tightened, therefore a lack of two things - 1) Less nippers/ underage drinking & 2) A smaller chance of getting shot (last time I went they used the proper metal detecters whilst searching people!). I think that The Monarchy has definately got better & if they keep bringing in the top DJ's and MC's in they can't go wrong. £20 to get in is a bit steep though, we're not in London you know!!!!
• Mirage has re-opened under a new name. But I can't remember what its called.And hopefully u wont get shot.
• And what's wrong with Golf Clubs?
• Mirage the best club in the south if you want to get shot..
• There is a total of 3 clubs in Windsor, obviuosly there is the commonly know Mirage, which host the House of Windsor nights, relatively expensive, not too friendly crowd, sometimes cheezy but a "real" club. There is, just around the corner, The Bronx, seedy, very small, Pub type club. Lots of UV light etc. There is also Harpoon louis, over 30 set up - members only. Cant comment, never been. Recently next door to Mirage is a Chicago Rock cafe, all very simmilar, but this one is better than the Maidenhead version, bigger queues as well...
• Mirage (under 16s); Harpoon Louie's (cabin crew) & the Bronx Club (very drunk people - highlight is its outstanding Manhattan skyline fashioned from fluorescent stickers)
• Mirage features KISS FM DJs.

Live Music Venues

• Henry on Sunday night is quite good - less twats than other places - but it can get a bit busy
• Still the arts centre, god do we need more venues in Windsor
• Sometimes at the youth center there is a heavy metal gig.
• Windsor Arts Centre in St Leonard's Road is definitely the best place for live music. Lots of touring international musicians, but even better are the open mic evenings in the FireStation Bar or the auditorium or Studio: Mondays 9-11 are acoustic and mellow with singers, musicians and poets, (some) Tuesdays are great jazz; Wednesdays are plugged-in open mic nights and Sundays feature local musicians doing 'spots' plus some open mic.
• Windsor Arts Centre. Acoustic nights are fucking awful. Just a load of fucking middle aged people who never got over the 60's. For many of them, that was the last time they had a fucking job. Gotta check out the compere on Sundays. Ageing hippie with bandana, dungarees, and CND badges. His songs are just sublime (Ban the cosmic bomb, man!). If you want a good night out, don't go there. Spotty kids wearing Limp Biskit tops, sitting on stools, trying to play Nirvana songs, even through the stupid bastards are probably thinking that was the band Avril Lavigne was once in. Utter shite! Tear the fucking place down!
• The Old Court, you were there as a kid going yes m'laud, now you can go their and just get wasted.
• Live free music on Sunday nights at the Windsor Arts Centre, St. Leonards Rd. Good stocks of ice cold flavored Snapps in the freezer! And cheep!
• The Old Trout used to have live music run by Phil Hanks but he's gone and so has the Old Trout so now they've got a micro-brewery in there. I say bring back the music. We can get our beer from anywhere.
• Windsor Arts Centre is THE music venue. The young guy who runs the events is a top kid. Putting on local acts it (along with Running Frog Studios) supports the local music scene, literally single handedly. The Old Trout was a wonderful place that shut down in 1995 when Inde Coope brewery got there evil money grabbing finger's on it.
• Have you ever been to the old ticket office in the Windsor Riverside Station, well worth checking it out, have had some great nights there...........the bands I've heard have been awesome, the variety of music played is different every weekend so pulls in a great mix of people everytime you go.
• The old trout has been closed for about 3 years - in its place is the Fort and Firkin. Don't forget to visit the arts centre in St Leonards road.
• Theatre Royal - Tribute bands and stuff.
• Alexandra Gardens bandstand
• Bring back the Old Trout!
• The Old Trout is sadly no more. What now lies there is a "pub" called the Fort & Firkin. Although they serve good beer there, they now have bouncers on the doors letting very few people in at a time. The pub is now much larger, and as a consequence, there appears to be no more room for bands to play there - the place where they did play is now drinking area. All in all, it has potential to be a good pub, but is now a mere shadow of its former self and is one of the largest piles of pants in the area. Visit the Hobgoblin in Maidenhead instead. That's a cracking pub which serves cracking beer!

Cinemas

• go to Slough
• The arts centre is still doing plenty of movies and film festivals.
• Slough is the closest but its quite a crap atmosphere. The best one thats reasonably close by is maidenhead cinema. Its very nice there.
• Windsor Arts Centre has now started showing films on their new 35mm projector. Great non-mainstream stuff (Belleville Rendevous etc.) plus top box-office hitters.
• Slough has top end of the scale cinemas.... a ten minute train ride from Windsor... or about 4 pounds or so in a taxi... lots of local companies... or the taxi rank is on the high street right infront of the castle.
• None - try Slough.
• nun
• Shut down years ago as everyone is an alcaholic and prefered the pub!
• None. Go to Maidenhead or Slough. The Arts Centre may start putting films on again at sometime in the future.
• No cinema. Next town, Slough has a very expensive crappy Virgin one however.

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Last updated: 2007-08-07