The Knowhere Guide

Going Out in Portadown, Armagh*

Portadown, Armagh Clubs, Music Venues, Cinemas

Clubs (Dance Music) and Music Bars

• THE ASHBURN(STICKY CARPET) MIXED CROWD GOOD MUSIC PLENTY OF GOOD LOOKIN GIRLS.
• robinsons in bril on a fri nit, start in jeamasons and move up there bout 10, hlf 10, will have a brill nit. tiplers is a good nit. a good easy nits craic out hit lawsons put it fab craic.
• the coach banbridge
• rugby club
• Oakin it on a saturday nite may not be the best idea. place is full of dull wankers and the music is hardly pallettable either. Thursday nite usually wields a good oul crowd though and the odd good band which get the place rockin. yettap cuntos
• the best place to go on a sat/sun nite in portadown is the red bull (royal oak) in woodhouse street...good music, nice people...got a bit of a young crowd at times but the craic is good
• Jamesons (UVF) bar sometimes has a good crowd in, winter time is a good place 4 sum heat, bennetts is gud (if your a snob) or not-like me!! they wont let ppl in if ur wearn trainers or tracksuits or not dressy enuf, so if ur lik a trmp . . . dont bother!!! Garys bar or Tiplers (LVF) is alryt. Tiplers is packed out on sat nyts and theres a disco and karoke on 2. Nuffn else really in pdwn so head 2 banbrigde 4 guder nyt out.
• portadown doesnt have any clubs tho its gota few wee bars like bennetts or robinsons or tiplers or joe macs. tho if ur in the mood for a good ole boogie, go to the coach in banbridge and strut ur stuff
• Jamesons and robinsons!!! R dwn rectory with your mobile listen to da beats!
• BENNETS but its true the same boaring cock suckers go every week good place to go and hang wit TONY the owner hes pretty cool.
• bennetts & tipplers
• bennets i guess the oak if your music is alternative
• for clubs ya need go to banbridge or belfast. portadown is crap for dat sort of thing
• ok well robinsons is hardly a club, but its really good on fri and sat nites!ok the same crowd goes every week, but at least everyone knows everyone and everyone has a brilliant nites craic!so catch yourself on!!!!!!!!!!!1
• do yourself a favour get a bus and head to cookstown. you can go to clubland, the glenavon or the greenvale. if you dont get in there are loads of lethal bars like the gas light or the railway!where there lethal lukin lads and they are all fucked up like the ones in portadown!
• Churchhill arean
• dj at robinsons is called dj duffy
• oh yeh....belmont all the way baby...ok ok its abt 30mins away but anyways...better than the smelly coach!
• well i have 2 say Saint Marys youth club must be the biggest hole of all.with all the leaders runin after u as if their ur ma.
• Club magic the only one in portadown. Friendly staff teriffic craic more than 95% returning regular members each week, 21+ though. Mostly 70's and 80's music a few 90's played as mixers. Reasonably priced drink also.
• What a load of bollocks. Portadown has never, and will never, had a club of any note whatsoever. Oh yes, apart from Killicomaine discos of course. Not. Bunch of arse mate. Down the Bann, that's where you wanna be. Or gettin pissed down the Batch. Clubs schmubs.
• THE COACH IF URE LOOKING HOT CHICKS, DRINK AND DRUGS, FOR THE over 18's. but fuck that shit, go ne way
• try the arena in armagh-plenty of women and woppers. u cud also try lurgan, but there are no 'clubs' as such, but if u r dying for a shag and suffer alcohol problems it is worth a try.
• I know i am meant to be telling u a about portadown, but clubs are non-exiatant here. However Banbridge is nearby and the BELMONT is the place to be on a sat nite! great music! Helps, if like me u go to Portadown college or have some form of association of the place, otherwise u may not know many people!!!
• No clubs to speak of except the Rugby/Rubbery/Ugly Club on Bridge Street - and even it has stopped. Safer going to Banville in Banbridge or getting the bus to Belfast from Tiplers. Does the Hanover Club count?
• DEATHTRAP The north's newest nite club '93 High Street, Portadown FRIDAY 11th JULY Bonfire nite Xtravaganza Door Tax: 2 Pallets SATURDAY 12th JULY Battle of the DJ's (Brendan McKenna v Harold Gracey) Door tax: £10 100 euro SATURDAY 13th JULY BLAST from the past All your 70's 80's and 90's favourites Door tax: £5 Free illuminous cudgel to first 200 CLUBBERS COMING SOON- DIRECT FROM SCOTLAND!!! CLOCKWORK ORANGE NO 1 DJ- JOHN WHITE For coach info contact 028 38 333333 or alternatively contact your local securicor office.
• There aren't any in the Town. The Coach is good if you're up for it(know what I mean!)- clinker tunes, loose women, but watch out for the loose lips. If you're old enough, go to Shine in Belfast - the best club in N.Ireland. Arena in Armagh is good inside - dangerous out! Too many illerate farmers or mashed spides looking to do some damage!
• the super duper OTE at fergus hall on fri nites. B-O-R-I-N-G
• Rugby club if you're a sad, boring yocal.
• Robinsons bar is always worth a visit at the weekend...You never know, you might see big ben!
• The Bouncers at the Coach should be watched if you're going there -- they are all ugly bastards and have very bad tempers. There's fuck all else to do in Banbridge so they use their Saturday night jobs in there to kick the shit out of all the kids who attend! How macho! Not!
• none except the rugby club but its shite too
• For LOCAL CLUB INFORMATION do a search for BANBRIDGE on Knowhere.
• there is nowhere to go in Portadown, well at least nowhere of interest
• QUITE FRANKLY NEVER VISIT PORTADOWN FOR ITS NIGHTCLUBS AS IT HAS NONE,THE NEAREST IS IN TANDRAGEE
• Oh yes, my poor (now much needed) brain took a good pickleling in Paddy McCann's 'Cellar Bar'over in Lurgan!How we managed to get mangled, eat a Julie's Kitchen chicken burger AND get a taxi home to Portadown all on a fiver I don't know! Also, now who can forget HUGGIES NITECLUB in St Mary's Hall?? Cringe city!!
• Robinson's, Edgarstown - OK I know its not exactley a club but it's a great place to be on a Saturday night and the resident DJ Ivan Webb is great.
• Portadown was never much for clubs but not to far away in the City of Armagh you could go to the Arena and Rave with every crazy cheesy Quaver for miles around. Now the Arena is called the Metz and I here it still Draws a strong party loving crowd only now the crowd are'nt Raveing their CLUBBING!!!!!!
• Do not be fooled into going to the Coach in Banbridge unless you are very young and shop in Ka Ka. But if you insist on going, watch out for the bouncers who are known to get quite bloodthirsty of a weekend...
• Nightclubs?! Who in their right mind would try to open a nightclub in Portadown? The DUP would call then a Satanist, the IRA would run drugs at the door, and the guys from Jamisons would scare off the women and wreck the toilets. Face facts: it's the bus to Banbridge or a bottle of Buckfast in the Pleasure Gardens.
• If you are looking for a good club the best place to go is the Met in Armagh. Most people from Portadown go there, formerly known as the Arena.
• The Rugby Club Portadown is the place to go out on a Saturday Night, as it is close to home, and the pint aren't dear with a friendly atomsphere.
• If you're looking for a good club, most people in Portadown go to The Met, just outside Armagh. Formerly known as The Arena.
• Clubs - not many. There's the Seagoe Hotel which is not exactly a club but more of a meet market. Ask for my friend Budgie, she'll bring you to some good pubs and make sure you drink much too much. If you want some good clubs, you're gonna have to get on the bus to Banbridge and head to the Coach (which is probably raking in ages 10 now, ha, since I've been there) or go to the Belmount which I haven't been to in 6 years because they barred me.

Live Music Venues

• THE OAK. COME ON JOHN JO GET PORTADOWN ROCKIN AGAIN
• bennetts, the tavern
• the oak
• bennetts usually has bands playin tho sumtimes theyr a bit crap!
• bennets! coach and belmont in banbridge!
• Go to the Oak , seriously. All of you. Live music runs every thursday in the summer and more on the way. Help kill crap dance trance bullshit music and the horrors of clubs and in fact everywhere else, especially sectarianism. None of that at these gigs we are proud to say. thankfuck. Anyway the Oak is rekoned one of the better venues outside Belfast, and def the only one of consequence with pretty and witty regulars...
• the oak is good for the occassional band and live performance. and hot ass black haired ladies
• tipplers
• the oak in woodhouse street. myself and my associate run the gigs here, and we have 1 or 2 gigs most weeks featuring prominent bands from round the country. last one was mellowdramatic, resonance and the dangerfields. latexspidermonkey, black alley screens and tetra neon on the 16th!! email me for details frog_bender@hotmal.com
• Tiplers Joe macs any bloddy pub duh??
• In the summer there is a music festival at Gosford park. There isn't any in Portadown cause this town is shite.
• the oak full force
• music in portadown, dont think so the closest u'l get is on drumcree sunday with all the orange bands up on the hill. but sure thats no good for all the catholics in portadown.! its a joke.
• joes macs the best of the lot, ANNE CHERIE,DONT MISS AFRIDAY OR SATURDAY NIGHT. ABSOLUTLY NO FIGHTING IN HERE. JUST PLESENT COMPANY GO ON GIVE IT A GO. YOU WILL BE GLAD YOU DID
• Drumcree Church, Drumcree Sunday in July
• The oak, possibly. The Portuguese in Brankins mightg like to rock.
• bennets is good on a thursday and friday nite for some gud music and its a great place to catch up with ur mates. Though be warned, u need to go to, or be assoicated with us Portadown College folks, cause on a fri nite its FULL of us!!
• Bennetts on a Friday night - upstairs for dodgy cover bands.
• the royal oak- dj jon jo playing the latest tunes- namely gareth gates and will young, oh and westlife gets the crowd going too. If u r a bum bandit-this is the spot for u but if not im afraid its back to ur house too pump up the vibes
• Not much to mention about here, head off to Belfast they've got a lot more to offer.
• Down Town, most Friday/Saturday nights to hear the tradtional music of the bands!
• If you want a great music venue ,pop down to Wee Minnines in Gilford. The music is fab now.Every kind of music is played there.Its brilliant....
• we have music in portadown??!! ahhh! ur talking about the annual music and dance festival held in the town hall! got ya now...
• krazy kennys betty boop roadshow
• The 'girls school gym' at the the St Bridget's!!!!.......St. Mary's Hall again! Don't ask!!!!
• Drumcree chrurch
• Bennett bar on a friday night has some cool bands playing, and for the younger budding musicains the Royal Oak will give you a chance to gig!.

Cinemas

• no cinemas here in portadown...used to be st. marys hall cinema, but they took it all down, was years ago now...but they need something else for the kids now...no wonder they are all on drugs they have nothing else to do!
• THERE IS NONE, least they done tha decent ting and ripped down centerpoint tha hole only thing is tha nearesty 1 now is lisburn, banbridge, dungannon, or armagh so tak ur pick!?!?
• portadown doesnt have a cinema tho we really need to get 1!!!!!! cum on ppl build us a cinema! i think they mite b buildin 1 near the magowan buildings tho who knows. the closest and best to go is banbridge cinema tho its chilly in there!
• Lisburns the best cinema! Dear like but worth it! Usually good fun on the train!! and in the cinema with a fella!
• head over to banbridge
• lurgan/belfast
• centrepoint is the biggest hole out....hop on the train an go 2 lisburn...make sure u go 2 pizza hut b4!
• the nearest cinema is in da dump lurgan wit a pack of scrubs outside it.
• Aye sure they said theyd build us a cinema years ago but i havent seen it yet!
• St. Mary's hall in the tunnel, Obin's street was one of the best community cinemas in the land. It closed when Centrepoint opened n Lurgan, but was a Mecca in its day.
• lisburn omniplex rules for women
• Go to Lisburn. Every year there seems to be a front page news item in the Times about Portadown getting a Cinema - still hasn't materialised.
• nearest cinema is Centrepoint in scummy spade town Lurgan and it smells.
• GO TO LISBURN
• centre point
• Lisburn Multiplex.
• Vico developments should build one at Edenderry and possibly an ice rink.
• Again, Portadown needs more facilities.
• yes in lurgan ok but to many ass holes best bet go to lisburn and that brillant
• Hey that was St Mary's Hall too!!!!!!!!
• Don't go to cinema in Lurgan - it is a dive! Travel that bit further to Lisburn Omniplex - much safer!
• Ah sad to say their are none but on the Lurgan Portadown Road you'll find a great cinema called Centre Point Six or more theatres a Bowling alley. Centre point also has a Bar and lounge connected to that, A Disco used to be good can't say if it still is but worth checking out.
• So the cinema 'Vico Developments' promised us at the old gasworks site is now 'part of the bigger picture' (Portadown Times). Bollocks - they never intended to build a cinema, it's all just a plot to put up their 'Retail warehouse complex' (translation: a row of tin sheds selling dog food).
• Bring back the Gateway!
• Craigwell ave
• There used to be one outside the Regal Snooker club but it's been closed for years. Now the nearest proper cinema is the four screen one in Lurgan.

The Knowhere Guide started out as a list of places to skateboard in the UK. It is a compilation of (unedited) information and views supplied by users like yourself. It is not a conventional tourist guide!

In most cases, the information in each section has been submitted by more than one contributor (the credits at the bottom of the page list some, but not all, of the contributors) and some of it dates back to the 1970s.

We make no claims as to the accuracy of the information in the Guide - our only purpose is to provide a forum for users to share their knowledge and opinions. So please keep a large bag of salt handy and be prepared to read between the lines!

If you disagree with a comment, or information is out of date, please submit an update! The contributors come from all walks of life, and their opinions are bound to be subjective, so if your view isn't represented, please speak up and contribute to the balance of the Guide. See below in the 'Have Your Say' section for how to add your voice.

If we have helped you out or made you laugh you can buy us a pint.

Have Your Say...

You can tell us more about Portadown. This is also the method to use if you want to correct some of the information already here. (But please remember you're not mailing the person who actually wrote whatever-it-is.)

You can use the add an event form to tell us about events happening in Portadown.

Or, if you'd just like to leave a message for other users of this site, take a look at The Knowhere Board (handy if you're just trying to get in touch with someone).

Credits

Last updated: 2007-07-06