The Knowhere Guide

Local Heroes in Portadown, Armagh*

Portadown, Armagh Famous Residents

Cringing Cult of Celebrity (Famous residents and ex-residents.)

• the old shops in killicomaine. always a party are agame of football
• ARCHIE DUNLOP
• Jim 'Flynn' May aka Dee Snider (or at least he thought so).
• Timothy McVeigh's (Oklahoma bomber)Grandad was from Portadown - although I don't think we should be particularly proud of that connection. Liam Neeson (actor)lived here as a boy.That's about it!
• Gloria Hunniford (Aaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!),Denis Hawthorne(thespian),Alexander Walker(Evening Standard film critic),Charlie Daze(cheesey "comedian")
• Gloria Hunniford, Roy Walker
• Gloria hunniford; david trimbill ;keith rowland;Harold gracey.
• Philip McCallen Crazy man on a motorbike, but very good at it.
• Mary Peters ( olympic athelete ) grew up in Portadown and attended Portadown College before she was famous. Another famous ex-resident was Billy Wright. The leader of the L.V.F. who was assasinated at the Maze prison at the end of 1997 by some I.N.L.A. inmates. David Trimble ( leader of the Ulster Unionist Party ) although not from Portadown is the M.P. for the area and held a 10,000 vote majority over his nearest rivals in the 1997 general election.

Buskers, Street Entertainers

• Again, I'll have to use the silly drunken cowboy man, he nearly fell into me near the bookies, he's pretty lucky he missed.
• The Alco (with the smelly cap and walks about town) - crocidile dundee - the cowboy - stalky (the perve outside the college EVERY lunchtime in blue corsa)- overend (the new perve in a purple corsa)
• May - August, rioting entertainment all long the corcrain road - duffy's, edgarstown bonfire, corcrain bridge
• Go to the Edgarstown bonfire, you are always entertained with some craic ie. brick throwing at the peelers and a few fires goin so join the craic!
• Whistling Jimmy - the Bann baby maker.
• Kraaazy Kenny Greg and his Betty Boop Roadshow - if there is an event(!) within 10 miles of Portadown you can bet your life that moon-faced 70's throwback will be polluting the air with his sounds and leering at anything over 11 in a skirt! (you know its true Kraaazy).
• some feek @ magowan buildings selling rip of pics
• KENNETH WATKINSON a faithfull employee of MOYPARK is well known for his street act of CHICKEN WALKING,a move known only to himself.In KEN'S version it consists of waving a wad of cash whilst running like a headless chicken and making loud clucking noises to TRY and frighten the locals.Lately he has been known to have expanded his routine in his home town of lurgan.An EXCELLENT PERFORMANCE was recently CAPTURED by a foreign journalist who described his act as "UNIQUE TO THE WORLD OF ENTERTAINMENT"
• them fukkin big issue tramps up the town really get on my nerves
• Those mental German and Aussie weirdos that used to come over in the summers and take over the entire Garvaghy Road (they were the only ones though!!Opps sorry!) Ballyoran Primary School. Mad crac really!
• Civic Bye-law 261 section iii states that any person busking in Portadown will be shot on sight.
• pleanty of street entertianers

The Knowhere Guide started out as a list of places to skateboard in the UK. It is a compilation of (unedited) information and views supplied by users like yourself. It is not a conventional tourist guide!

In most cases, the information in each section has been submitted by more than one contributor (the credits at the bottom of the page list some, but not all, of the contributors) and some of it dates back to the 1970s.

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Credits

Last updated: 2007-07-06