The Knowhere Guide

Other Stuff in Lutterworth, Leicestershire*

Lutterworth, Leicestershire Stuff You Don't Get Anywhere Else

The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else

• I give you my WORD Lutterworth is a bed of unseamly sexual deviants.I know.My mates are them.Not me.No,No.Only after a pint of cider and a poo in tyhe Sunar Gow.
• the trouble with lutterworth like so many small market towns is that its run by few business men who are only interested in there own gains and not the good of the local community and until go this unhappy negative narrow minded backward little one horse hick town will continue to be just that.
• plenty of unresolved crime that most people could solve or make a few arrests and i,ve got busted for pissing behind the town hall and nicking a pint glass.
• Don't forget the might WEAVE's forth album 'We're only chasing Dragon's til their tails fall off' will be released soon, available it good good record shops, or that shite one in Lutterworth High Street...
• I loved living in Lutterworth. Wish I could move back there, but I can't!!! Everyone is really friendly there, unlike some places I wouldn't care to mention!
• Events: Make sure to mark a place in your diary for Lutterworth's feast week, usually around the middle of August. The town undergoes a week of joyous celebration, theres a swimming gala, a biggest vegetables competition, that crap baton twirling team throw their sticks in the air (and fail to catch them) and finally they have a wonderful carnival of floats which end up on the rec, everyone tries to shoot the Police cars with water pistols, the lads from the Cavalier look like pissed morons on their float, Ron Stretton absails down the church tower and then the town decides goes for a drink in the balloon, a momentous day which should simply not be missed........Dont worry, for if you do it'll be pretty much the same the next year......
• It is of extreme interest to note, this site was recently discovered by the Lutterworth Mail. It made the front page headlines, as a internet site broadcasting the illicit places for underage drinking and under age sex. They even claim it promoted petty theft (the orange flashing lights) In typical Lutterworth fashion, the local paper headline news, was only four and a half years after we persuaded Knowhere to set the site up. On the ball as always I see.....
• Best place to score some Lady Jane is in the Shambles, Koggy's, The Hind, Any Teenager in 100yards of any of the above.
• Aaah, Lutterworth. oh what a place. where else would teenage girls flock to catch a sight of a real live bad boy. The fact that these bad boyz nearly always live with their mums and couldn't tell you what 1+1 equals is neither here nor there, they're older and therefore more cool. Apparently. And do you children really think we, the staff and ex-staff of the shambles don't know how old you are? To be honest, it's quite fun to see how many shandy's you can drink before throwing up. Any seasoned lutterworth-ite will know Dan Eggleton, the Dish that had really, really REALLY long hair, and then cut it all off, and is still a dish. Treat him well. Also, many of us wish that the damn falic symbol the council fondly calls the new monument would blast off into space, never to return. EVER. God knows it's the right shape. The one thing that I will say for lutterworth is that it changes you. Friends that we have known and loved for years become 'Lutterworth'-ised. They even become more a part of the shambles furniture than, well, the furniture. One final word - well done to everyone who added stuff to this page.
• The High School: This is the first real school that children of Lutterworth and the surrounding villages go to. A great school headed by the legendary John Kinson a man really in touch with God and Tai-Chi. Evryone who went there will remember great teachers such as Mrs WYLIE (and her daughter) the I.S. teacher, Bruce KIRKMAN, the tubby English teacher, Steven BOWKETT now famous novelist!!!, Mr BURTON I.S., Mr BLOWER games, MR BATEMAN games, Mrs EDGINGTON games (stunning!), Miss JEFFRIES battle-axe, Mr ELLIS never really quite understood what he did!!!!, Mr CALCOTT (my form tutor, top bloke) Ceramics (something to do with clay, I think), Mrs FLETCHER (not bad) art, Mrs WILLIAMS oops, Mrs SMITH how she got a job I'll never know, Mr KENDALL where did you get that hair? Maths, Mrs AITKENHEAD Biology, Mr PERKINS Chemistry, Mrs Wren French (short skirts, long legs, blokes sat at the front!!) and not forgetting Mr GOLDSMITH, oui-ja boards in class and watching The Lion Whitch and the Wardrobe for a whole year. Them list goes on, but Cunningham was the best House!!!!!!!!!!
• The place has recently been subject to numerous sightings of flashing orange objects travelling at high speed, but are they UFO's, will the X-Files come to Lutterworth or is it just a bunch of lads out in a Renault 5 - nickin the flashing orange ligths from the roadworks in Bitteswell?
• The town is a mile from junction 20 off the M1 and 5 miles from junction 1 off the M6. Half an hours drive from Leicester. 15 minute drive from Rugby. 25 minutes from Coventry. Also positioned just off A5 and A14.
• Lutterworth Grammar School: At present putting fences all the way round the perimiter. Not sure whether it is to keep the students in or the unhappy ex-students out.
• Claims to fame: Luttwerworth is where Sir Frank Whittle built his first jet engine, during WW2. Also is where the bible was first translated in English (by John Wycliffe) Contains Magna Park, soon to become Europe's biggest industrial estate (when completed).

The Knowhere Guide started out as a list of places to skateboard in the UK. It is a compilation of (unedited) information and views supplied by users like yourself. It is not a conventional tourist guide!

In most cases, the information in each section has been submitted by more than one contributor (the credits at the bottom of the page list some, but not all, of the contributors) and some of it dates back to the 1970s.

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Credits

Last updated: 2007-05-19