The Knowhere Guide

Local Heroes in Dunton Bassett, Leicestershire*

Dunton Bassett, Leicestershire Famous Residents

Cringing Cult of Celebrity (Famous residents and ex-residents.)

• Derek the ex-baker lives in Dunny. The Father Christmas looking chap, who everyone knows for his sausage rolls and fresh cream iced buns. Often spotted now fetching milk from Margaret's or emerging from his duck pond field.
• Gary, commonly known as Shed, the local daily travelled, self employed lorry owner. And then theres Ian, the owner of Ullesthorpe Garden Centre, now known as Lisa's palace. And our friend Robert Wann, who is big in the plods, and has a large development company,he has also been seen regularly scoffing at the Hose of Commons, this in fact gets up our local councillors nose, but who cares.
• The legend that is channel 5's Dr. Fox is the captain of the Crown and Thistle pool team. This man goes by a pseudonym, but it must be him, he wears glasses and everything. He also knows quite a bit about music, especially that of retro anthems and their B sides.
• Dunton Bassett is home to the Founder and Patron of one of Leicestershire's finest collections of modern pornography. Richy Moon, and his 'Rorn Emporium' are world famous.
• The "Leicester Slasher" lives in Dunton Bassett. Known so not due to any knife connections, but due to his unsatiable physical and sexual desire to urinate in the city centre, Richy Moon can be seen most Fridays in time being dealt with by the law.
• Chris Carver's dad was on brain of Britain on Radio 4 once. He lost.
• The bloke slightly less important than the chief constable of Leicestershire lives in Church Close.

Buskers, Street Entertainers

• Gordon - Larger than life, lord of the manor barn. Can't miss him if not on his brand new harley, he can be found with the bar proping him up in the DBA. Simon - don't need nothing to prop him up, he can sleep standing, also known as the wobbler Ade - local painter and decorator, pretends to drink shandy but the shakes tell another story! Gaynor - the new arrival, although seems like she been here forever now
• mmmm.....could write a lot of very very close inter family relationships within dunton bassett but will save the gossip, im sure most of the village knows about it anyway.
• street entertainer 'Adam Pickering' can often be found entertainer very few people with his questionable talents. The 'white elephant routine' often raises an eyebrow - especially from the DBPD.
• Up and coming starlet Lawrence Tilley can regularly be heard dishing out his own unique brand of country folk rock from his dewllings
• None as such, but for a good laugh one can go to the bus shelter to watch Moony doing his regular masturbatory act.

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Credits

Last updated: 2007-11-01