The Knowhere Guide

Hookup Spots in Maldon, Essex*

Maldon, Essex Inside Information and Stuff Only Locals Know

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* Important Note: all entries in the Knowhere Guide are the opinions of its users. see What is Knowhere for more info about the Guide.

Hookup Spots

• Outside all saints church if meeting in the high st
• right. maldon, if you wanna go for a blaze : "narnia" a.k.a millenium gardens, longfields, leeches, pretty much anywhere where the filth arent, try and venture away from the town if your in need of a doobie snack. oh and, dont listen to the other pricks leaving stuff like "ooooh mind out for the chavvies". if your an arrogant fuck, they will beat your cunt in, end of
• a good place to skate in maldon is tescos with some nice kurbs and benches with a piramid type thing and a very easy 6 set around the back. safeways is also quite good with some knarley kurbs and high rails which i cnt skate YET. the kurbs r alrite aswell. the best local place is proberly witham though.cya...
• in maldon now there are a lot of hook up spots then when you last came we have a swimming pool, bowling alley. We can go to the youth centre.
• We meet at Wenlocks, For all our curtain requirements.
• McDonalds is a wheeze!
• To meet the 'mockney' yoof just visit any unlit area where there are windows to smash and crap herbs to be smoked. Incidentally Maldon is now officially part of the east end of london. No really. Just listen to the local youth scum. "Awight geeza", "yeeeaaah maaate", and "sortid" are now common phrases heard as well as "woss going on" and of course "ooo can get served in the offie dahn a road". I personally saw three of these repulsive gits yesterday. All about 14 years old. Tracksuit trousers, baseball caps, chunky bracelets and gold souvreigns on their fingers. Down with the essix rude boyz!!!
• the gardens behind allsiant church isnt just a place to go and get stoned or pissed the maldon vandals are the best people to hang arond with but if ur a townie dont both go and find the mistermen crew and the sports man
• we need a club up here its pants wiv out nefin!!!ok so we gettin a bowlin alley- that wont last!!it will prob get trashed!!! make maldon a lively place not a place to grow old n bored!!!
• Millennium Gardens but it's only wannabe druggies and "pot-heads" who hang out in there (they think they're cool...shouldn't someone tell them the truth already?) They have provided many a laugh! Check 'em out!
• by maldon libary is the place to be if tou 13 to 16 all the little bastards smash windows throw eggs and break cars windows
• go to the bentals centre in heybrdge and hang by the phone box thats all maldon and heybridge offer
• The Cider drinkers at the prom gates like to think they are cool, as do the youngsters outside the church.
• The Coal Bunker on Cross Road is the place to be on a friday or saturday night so if your 16 years and under and want to look 'cool' stand outside in the pouring rain smoking your cigarettes, looking moody come along and join the fun
• Prom Gates....they sniff glue....All Saints....they are old....lots of other bus stops and corners....Coles is funny if you can one of the little gits over...
• Captain Video - Little twats asking you buy fags and beer for them. Coles - Little twats asking to buy fags beer for them.
• Hot tip. Try sitting outside All Saints Church and intimidating elderly people and making really amusing remarks as people file in to a funeral. It's really cool and you'll look sooo hard and grown up. You can enhance this illusion by spitting a lot, swearing and smoking, even though you want desperately to cough.
• The Welcome, Fullbridge. Is one of the main pubs where all the youngsters in Maldon go on a Friday night!! Now it has changed hands it attracts alot of trouble now though!
• At the pedestrian crossing at the top of town on Boxing Day, you can gather to try out all the new obscene words you've learnt on our famous fox hunters....they love it, honest. Let's face it, it got Maldon in all the papers! It even got in a Las Vegas paper, so I'm told.
• I wouldn't say outside All Saints would be the best place to meet people (well not the type you would introduce to your mates). Try the Prom in the summer, or if you have any sense just go to Chelmsford.
• West Maldon Community centre
• The benches outside All Saint's Church - Whether you've just picked up your pension from the PO, or you're so young you can't get into the pubs, this is where everyone hangs around.

The Knowhere Guide started out as a list of places to skateboard in the UK. It is a compilation of (unedited) information and views supplied by users like yourself. It is not a conventional tourist guide!

In most cases, the information in each section has been submitted by more than one contributor (the credits at the bottom of the page list some, but not all, of the contributors) and some of it dates back to the 1970s.

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Credits

Last updated: 2007-09-19