The Knowhere Guide

Best and Worst in Haworth, West Yorkshire*

Haworth, West Yorkshire Triumphs and Tragedies

Favourite Building

• The Fleece!!
• church and church yard

Demolish It Now Building

• Anything under 10 years old.

The Best Things

• The cowboy clamper's home addresses are now known, and it will not be long until their bollocks are clamped in a vice!!
• The easygoing, almost (but not quite) Irish nature of the locals.
• Billberrys and blackberrys free for the taking.
• It's a friendly ol' place
• walking down main street at midnight in winter. Not a soul around and the cold chewing yer lugs off. Magic. Bus Service from Keighley is pretty good.
• The pubs The People The Smell of food when you go in the White Lion The countryside. Gobsmackingly beautiful and wild, but also deadly. The Local accent and dialect

The Worst Things

• The clampers are still operating, except they have painted their van orange. They are operating "outside the law", they have not on display their identification badge which they must display while on duty. So they could be fined up to £3000 for not doing this under current legislation.
• The cowboy clamper's who made an 8 months pregnant woman walk 2 miles to a bank, (and 2 miles back) and also took M+S vouchers off an old lady. These voucher's were a birthday present off her 4 year old disabled grandaugher.(Daily express 26/11/2003). Let's hope that their bollocks get clamped in a vice very soon!!
• Very dodgy Cowboy clampers!!!! It is a disgrace the borough concil allows it to go on.
• COWBOY CLAMPERS! check out http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2948723.stm
• Watch out for the scruffy white escort van. There are a bunch of thugs who clamp you and then say they are employed by the council. They are not! They want cash in used notes and can get very violent. If your car is clamped, just walk ahead and come back later with some friends and an angle grinder
• There are currently a bunch of ILLEGAL cowboy clambers operating. They usually target lone females and then demand cash. If you cannot pay they get very abusive. The best thing to do is pay by cheque and then cancel it. They will inform you that if you do this they will sue you, but as they don't own the land or have any authority to be there this will not happen. They were featured in the national newspapers last month but their phone number is an unregistered mobile, and the company "car clampers of Keighley" is false. If you get clamped cancel the cheque and report them to legal@bradfordmbc.co.uk
• Tourists. I know we need them, but... I used to live in Hebden & in summer I had to leave my Landy @ home & walk to work... Mud sticks; Bless 'em.
• The worst thing about Haworth if you are deciding to visit this lovely village, is the car parking system. I shall refrain from saying anything rude but it appears that the clampers lie in wait for unsuspecting tourists to be a few minutes late back to their car, clamp them then refuse to remove it, whilst being very obnoxious, until you have paid a ridiculously overinflated fine!!!! I am posting this as a warning. DO NOT EVER BE LATE BACK TO THE CAR PARK EVEN BY A MINUTE!
• Those bloody idiots at Bradford City Hall are trying not to blame the increase in petty crime on the fact that they got rid of the village bobby! Well, DURR!
• No proper bookshop in a literary shrine? Come on...
• There is a cashpoint at the Spar on Mill Hey
• The tourists
• Overrun with tourists in summer, some of whom don`t seem to realise they are in a real town, not disneyland Too many tat shops. The main street is over commercialised. No real book shop! No cashpoint or bank!

The Knowhere Guide started out as a list of places to skateboard in the UK. It is a compilation of (unedited) information and views supplied by users like yourself. It is not a conventional tourist guide!

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Credits

Last updated: 2008-07-09