The Knowhere Guide

Best and Worst in Fakenham, Norfolk*

Fakenham, Norfolk Triumphs and Tragedies

Favourite Building

• Fakenham 6th form building ( old mansion thing...) Fakenham church is very pretty at night when it is all lit up. The mill is also quite nice.
• Fakenham College. Old mansion type thing.
• The Old Corn Exchange/Cinema
• Woolworths for toys, mop buckets and cheap sweets. Also Super Bowl for childrens entertainment whilst I sit and drink all day.

Demolish It Now Building

• Ex council offices in the Market Square. If only for revenge,heh heh heh.
• the old BT exchange. The entire town centre, which they have - in order to attract more people - covered in cobbles. Yeah great idea in a town with about 20 elderly care homes. Come and look at the old people break their ankles! D'oh!
• all of jubilee avenue and its inhabitants
• BT exchange Queens Road
• VI form college
• Safeway for being too expensive. Rainbow is so much cheaper and better but no lottery.
• Fakenham College - These guys are so up themselves it's amazing! I've never experienced such a PR experience. Crap school, crap teachers (apart from a certain two Maths teachers that I know). Above all, watch out for the weeks just after Christmas if you sign up for A-level courses... rumour has is that they throw out half the people once they've got the money from the government.

The Best Things

• Quite and low crime rate.
• It's home and my family are there and my friends are there and nothing ever changes unrecognisabley, and even if you've been away for two tears, you cna go home for a week and still settle back in and be welcomed. It is a place which welcomes everyone.
• Alliance Glass at Hempton Road Fakenham - staffed by an excellent crew who provide a top quality service at a sensible price and all done with a smile on their chops!!! (which for most of Fakenham's shops and businesses is a real rarity) Also Shane the Traffic Warden - who for a T.W. is a real nice geezer.
• seeing it in your rear view mirror when you leave
• It's not pretentious and it's quiet & friendly. NOT boring though - that's just a state inside your head!
• Debenhams -- is it still there?
• despite it being a small market town in the middle of norfolk,it is very easey to score an eighth. Try the Limes on a friday night if you're really stuck.
• Jacs 32 Norwich street cause of its large variety of goods and Its wonderful friendly staff
• the a63 out.
• Get very drunk and enjoy yourself in a genuine and safe environment. I f someone talks to you they are your friend and this will endure whether you want it to or not.
• Fairly good road access from Midlands and North. (3.5h from Leeds with caravan)
• Access to countryside and coast. Excellent base for exploring North Norfolk, well equipped caravan and camping site at Racecourse.

The Worst Things

• Narrow minded bigoted racist community. Dumb as posts.
• Townies who drive round and round in thier mum's fiestas with thier streos turned up and their girlfriends who they have just picked up from school. It can be very insular, and some of the people are very ignorant as to the fact that Fakenham is not the only place in the world.
• 20 mile per hour speed limits have appeared all over Fakenham along with cycle lanes that are wider than the road (spring 2000) Nobody sticks to the speed limit and the cycle lanes are used once a week on Thursdays when one granny gets her bike out to go to the weekly market. Still the coppers have a really easy target for on-the-spot speeding fines when their beer fund is getting low!
• having to grow up there
• My mum was the only person who could get lost in Fakenham!
• serious lack of intelligent conversation from the general population.
• The cinema being closed
• My friend Angie says do not have any breakfast item at the swimming pool as it will give you the worst disentry that you will ever experience. Also avoid the fruit shop on the market place for having rotten and over priced products.
• It closes on Wednesdays, it must rate as one of the most boring places on Earth.
• Business rates driving small businesses out of town.
• Traffic problems in Bridge Street, but Norfolk County Council not interested.
• Little for singles to do, especially the under 20's, 30's, 40's etc. in the evenings.

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Credits

Last updated: 2007-03-08