Cringing Cult of Celebrity in Armagh, Armagh*

Famous residents and ex-residents.

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Cringing Cult of Celebrity

• Ronan clarke thinks he is,you need the old just for men hair dye ronan,
• Sean Duffy thinks hes a big hard man, is it because Golfball shagged you until you bleed, ur little gypo!!
• RONAN CLARKE - ALL THE WEE GIRLS LOVE HIM
• wa bout yer fella that sits outside fane valley in the cowboy get up? them boots giv me da horn
• bin laden has been spotted on friday and saturday nights recruiting people in da shambles. also tony blair and george bush have been runmoured to have started their all inclucive y.m.c.a club.
• D.D THE MULLACREEVIE STREAKER
• JOSEY KELLY ......IF U CAN FIND HIM... also Saddam and Bin Laden have also been rumoured to have been living together.

• convery
• gareth o connor used to be somewhat of a famous resident but he was a wannabe wanker so he got killed, yessss
• LOCO CRILLY IS A LEGEND!!!BEST TING DAT HIT ARMAGH!!
• ex mayor jim spears whose first job was working in kennedys grocery shop at the top of russel st where the abby is now when ever he seen a woman looking through the window on the russel st side he would shoot down to the basement which had a metal graten looking up into russel st in those days all the ladys would wear nylons and suspenders more than once he was caught with his one eyed stiffy in his hand ihave to admit i used to have the odd peep myself. i think that graten is still there to this day.
• All good shite talkers across the world come from in and around armagh..easy to spot going buck she mad
• rangerss
• aul john john loves to yank the pants off himself infront of the cathedral gates at 3:30 pm on a weekday.

• CHRIS (known as SHEEPDOG) - local ST Pats Grammar student, big lad, mad cunt who soon became callan st hood, top drugdealer, and then had to leave armagh because of IRA death threats, now living in England, as far as i know. UTJ UTAH FTRA. let him come back u bunch of scumbag tramps i miss him
• gorp
• LOCO AND DA REST OF DA ALCOS
• ANY OF YOU THAT BUCKED THE LONGSTONE WOMAN ORLA LAPPIN YOU ARE SICK FOR THERE ARE A FEW OF YOU, YOU ALL NEED SHOT FOR SHE IS A FAT BASTARD......... ITS WRONG.................ITS VERY WRONG
• KEVIN DALY, THE ONLY BOY ON THIS EARTH THAT CAN FLY WITH HIS EARS
• Most famous people in this town are the members of the local band IGNITION. IGNITION IGNITION IGNITION
• shauna flood..... the local bike!!!!!
• hello people any 1 know tracy from armagh, give us her number
• has anyone ever looked at how fucking goodlooking sean hughes is a.k.a toe-joe! like what is he doing with annie killen, he could do so much better
• definitly loco crilly he's the one that rose above the rest! also numerous UFO sightings,osama bin laden has been rumoured to be living somewhere in drumarg and not to mention IGNITION the best thing ever to have come from this sesspit!
• BOB MARLEY
• Loco Crilly you will always find him with a bottle of bo straching you know were.
• annie killen fucking all the callan street boys barney cullen and duck morgan £2.50 a go
• A quick update to the message above - but none of them actually lived in West Wickham, did they? As a matter of interest, Siouxsie Sioux lived in Woodside Avenue in Chislehurst - I know this, because I lived here too.
• has to be loco. he should be the armagh teams mascot.
• Brian Boru is buried in the Cathedral grounds. Cu Chulainn and the Red Branch nights trained hurley here, and there's a bunch of fairies out in Navan Fort - oh and apparently there r real ones aswell as the smokers.
• Loco Crilly can be seen acting along side such actors as Al Pacino, Russel Crowe and many more. I heard hes in line to be the next James Bond when Pierce Brosnan quits. Matter of fact I saw him on Friends last week playing Chandler, hes such a good actor that you wouldnt even have noticed it was him unless you looked really hard. He has also topped the charts using an alter ego called 50 Cent. Hes a fantastic rapper and has in fact been shot nine times. Fame hasnt gone to his head though, he can still be seen regularly off his face holding a bottle of White Lightning and having banter with his passing fans.
• ANYONE WITH AN UNUSUAL HAIRSTYLE IS SEEN AS A BIT OF A CELEBRITY ROUND ARMAGH, OR AS THE GOOD CITIZENS FONDLY CALL A "FUCKIN DICK."
• The word 'DORANS' provokes fear in the heart of locol Armagh Folk. Little is known about this clan but it is believed that they have maintained a pure blood line since the invasion of Greece in 2800 B.C. when they took over from the Achians. The leader names are rumoured to be 'TIM' and 'NICK' no-one has any proof or knows for sure if this is the case. Through there links throughout society they control the streets of U.K. I have for one has seen these elusive leaders wander the streets at night guarding their teritory. Though I did not get a crystal clear glimse for fear of being seen by the tyrannical two, this is what I saw. They stood as tall as tree, trees that walk, prowling, stalking, watching over their kingdom ensuring the safety of their wealth that they have accumulated. Their arms where as twice as thick as the normal persons thigh and their legs as thick as the tree trunks. It is not known what they eat but the night I saw them an entire herd of cows disappeard with a trace and two enormous pile of shit where found close by. These people must be feared so I warn you all when you hear of the 'DORANS' run, run to the gates of the Palace Stables because it is there and only there that you will find sanctuary from humanities and Armagh's greatest foes.
• the closest thing we have to a celebrity is the infamous "LOCO" Armaghs one and only!
• Elvis is still in Drumarg, although sightings have been made in Dalton, Callan Bridge, Mullacreevie and Callan Street, but Elvis has taste, so surely he wouldn't dream of living in Callan Street...
• Bowie lived in Beckenham, Peter Frampton went to Pickhurst Junior School, Souixee souix and the banshees were from Bromley along with the rest of the Bromley contingent who were a group of punks (including The Pistols) in the late 70s. The music scene has since disappeared. HG Wells was from Bromley too, there's hope for us writers yet!
• Paul Mc Connell is an amateur skateboarder on the W\DC team, well sort of anyway, only a bit. I know someone who met him once you know. He's six foot tall, 200 pounds, and he eats children for breakfast.
• Willie Nugent!!!The man is pure quality and a legend 2 boot!
• Bob marley once lived on da rockroad wiv all his potheads!
• ARMAGH TEAM ARE OT CELEBS. you won a stupid fucking cup, now get over it! you all look like a bunch of retarted horses being shagged by a cow
• has to be LOCO he's a legend
• THE ARMAGH FOOTBALL TEAM I SUPPOSE UP ARMAGH
• don't think so.................... But a lot of serial killers have not been caught
• There's some bloke who looks like John Peel who always sits in front of me on the morning 119 bus into East Croydon.
• Jerome Loughran who was a photographer for Document skate mag, went as a photographer on the Globe shoes tour and he now owns Cardiff Skate Park was born and bred in Armagh. he's cool and really dead-opn.
• There is only 1 - Loco Crilly (it isa pity that he can't see this site to enjoy his fame)
• Loco sez:''OI,learn to spell when talking bout' me''!!
• Loco Crilly, if ur now asking WHO? ur obviously not from Armagh, everyone knows this man, hes a ledgend!!!!
• All the Armagh hoods seem to be in the paper quite a lot,sometimes even on UTV Live after they get the knees.Love boys,don't hate,love.Jesus loves yis anyway(probably).
• Cuhullian lived here in days of old.Also its well known that Elvis is living in Drumarg.
• what about Gadaffi?
• Stately Toner (the nicest alcoholic you will meet), Gabriel (old man who goes into all of the shops torturing people), Wille Nugent (just look in the bloody local papers.......nuff said),
• WHAT ABOUT LOCO CRILLY???
• Patrick Moore, (gamesmaster)

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