The Knowhere Guide

The Worst Things in Battersea, Greater London*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

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The Worst Things
  • The bus stops in Clapham Junction where most people seem to lose manners and all sense of reason when boarding a bus.
  • The divide between the haves and have-nots is very evident.
  • The Vauxhall end is a bit of a crime-ridden shithole.
  • No tube!
  • Rich people with appalling manners, appalling lack of imagination (Battersea Beige, say no more!), appalling parking skills, and appalling ignorance! Overpriced bars and restaurants to cater to abovementioned.
  • The spread of yuppie shops down Northcote Road, e.g. organic produce shops, wine bars (especially All Bar One which displaced an excellent fish & chip restaurant & takw away) etc etc.
  • The Twats (in the tightest sense of the word) who have now taken up residence in wot woz wonce saff landan. I write of course of the SUV driving, bank to bar, factory to lame arsed riverside develpoment types who now litter the streets of Battersea. Oh its nice earning more than my good self (who has been on the beck and call of Her Majesty for the past eleven years)but do i really have to put up with inflated house/pub/bar prices etc for the priv of inviting in arsewipes to my area. Area of course which i can no longer afford to stay in because of the Charge of the Hype Brigade who now reside here in South Chelsea, Bat-ter-see-ah or North Saint Reatham(streatham)which it is now known by many. My saving grace is that Clapham Junctions' inevitable demise in the next terrorist attack will take loads of Mail reading, Landrover driving (in quaggy,hilly Battersea!) Barbour jacketed fuckwits with it! God Bless Battersea Mick
  • The divide between the "have" and the "have-nots". All the film crews who seem to be perennially camped in Battersea Park. The lack of a tube, and the backlog of traffic on Battersea Park Road in the rush hour.
  • Expensive Housing

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Credits

All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: Victoria MIlne, Kieron, Sarah, kerry, Jeremy Richardson, Steve G, gary, Rick, Lorinda Freint, Phil, Jonas Jaanimagi, sylvia rushbrooke, Shaggy B, Lee Dayes, Tim Feltham, tommy hopper, Jane Hickford, Saffron Cooper, Sandra Clements, Sal, generic, Tom Gavin, Sylvia and Delia Rushbrooke, Dave Curran, Van, Andrew White

Last updated: 2012-08-07

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