The Knowhere Guide

The Worst Things in Billericay, Essex*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

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  • Police Station Shut to the public most of the time! What's that all about? State of the roads. It's a bloomin disgrace.
  • Two faced mates
  • Too many boring shops, most people are forced to shop away from Billericay as they can't find what they want here! Billericay Town Council, what a waste of money!
  • Lack of things to do for young people. Because of the above teens in all pubs therefore lack of things for older people who don't speak "text" to do. We haven't had decent snow here for years.
  • Queens Park Chavs and Quilters on a Friday & Saturday night.
  • well dere aint certainli aint enuf shops! a gal gotta get er weekli dose a retail therapi ya no!
  • Billericay is full of chavs! Especially the teens hanging round the station of an evening trying to be hard!!! They are just annoying. Maybe if there was somewhere they could go it wouldnt be so bad - but theres just nothing to do around here - i know this coz i am only young myself!
  • Billericay Town Council, what a waste of our money! If it were not for Argos and Woolworths, the High Street would be a washout. Most people have to go out of town to buy something, i.e Basildon,Brentwood. Billericay is a place full of estate agents, bars, coffee shops and hairdressers, and other daft shops.
  • The fact that Billercay is close to Basildon and authentic theiving Gypsies have moved in to the area
  • The waitrose staff, is it just me or are they EVERYWHERE?
  • Argos - why? All the rich people in Billericay dont shop at scummy places like Argos!!
  • The Toffs who fink they is better than every1, Bill blackwells lot (dickheads)
  • The continual building of Flats and Executive housing - STOP leave the space and green bits of Billericay alone and STOP trying to join us up with Steepleview (I remember this being beautiful fields and woods!!)
  • A total lack of CCTV cameras in the High Street. A late night out of a weekend is not really on the cards unless you are prepared to be assaulted or otherwise abused by the yobs from out of town who have found the lack of CCTV a godsend !
  • Crap Basildon council that spend all the council tax from Billericay residents on Basildon. Oh and to the person who put Billericay's near Canvey, it aint! It's nearer to the Harold Hill estate in Romford although you probably don't know where that is.
  • police-police-poilce-police-police-poilce-police-police-poilce-police-police-poilce-police-police-poilce-police-police-poilcepolice-police-poilcepolice-police-poilce---police-police-poilce-police-police-poilce-police-police-poilce
  • This town reeks of the stench of death.
  • THE MAYFLOWER
  • billericay
  • lager louts peeing in the street.
  • Seems someone thinks that our council is run from brentwood perhaps they should not open mouth and insert foot because its run from basildon. we have a local planning committee who are frightened to make any decision if it is in the slightest bit controversial. why cant people stand up and be counted. if they want to be councillors then they should expect to have to make decisions that upset one or two people - thats democracy. if they dont like it they should go away and get a proper job. they say those who can, do and those who cant, teach. i think that we should add and those who cant, join the council.
  • The worst thing about billericay is EVERYONE knows EVERYONE and if you even think about walking into any pub in near-by stock or ingatestone be ready for the evils!
  • The kids at the station who wanna b big, but jus cant do it. Their "cool" shaved heads make them look stupid, but they can give little kids the s**ts because there are about 40 of them making prats out of themselves and tryin t beat t little kids up. burn them all!! no, their shell suits an fake burberry caps will make t town stink...
  • nothing to do for under 18s too many police with nothing better to do than stop me from sitting on a wall
  • nothing to do for under 18s too many police with nothing better to do than stop me from sitting on a wall
  • Toffee nosed twats and little battys thinkin they are hard
  • The scummy pikeys who live down south green! They are pikeys of the highest order! You know who you people are! WORSE FORM OF LIVING IN THE WORLD......SCUMMMY DIRTY CUNTS
  • Unfortunately, Billericay is under Basildon District Council - we get a new road sign every 10 years, each Basildon resident gets a complimentary council house and BMW with compliments!
  • The south green crew, lowest form of humanity
  • Too many new buildings
  • Flaming Baso!!! What a wretched dive! Too close for comfort and all those horrible little louts! Lazy kids with too much money and not enough brain cells.
  • The Outwood Common Comunity Center
  • The awful 1960's buildings in the highstreet, the lack of any innovative bars/restaurants, the small minded 'nouveau richenedness'of many of it's inhabitants, the Kevs you see on friday and saturday nights strutting their paunches in lurid Ralph Lauren shirts.....
  • All the grafiti every where.
  • not enough quality motors about.
  • The smell
  • nothing to do!
  • In close proximity Canvey Island. (Well, not that near but near enough.)
  • queens park, the railway tavern, no bloody clubs, no kebabs or takeaways before twightlights, seeing your mum's mates when you're pissed. still seeing everyone you went to infant school with on a regular basis (I moved out at 18 - traumatised).
  • People who drive in the left lane when coming up to the R/A after Bill. School at a very fast rate, missing the long tail back. All of us waiting just know that they are going to turn right to Basildon, and cut us up on the R/A.
  • Being too close to Basildon!
  • When that bloke at Sparklers got shot by two blokes on a motorbike.....it was all over the news. But Riccay isn't always like that...honest!!!!!
  • Snobs, mindless yobs, bored 13 year olds causing trouble, broken glass on floor, dog crap everywhere, middle class twits.
  • Snobbishness and arrogance at all levels.
  • The Nuclear Waste Express from Bradwell to Sellafield passes through on many nights.
  • No Macdonald's yet and old cinema just been demolished for houses.No clubs either but plenty in Bas.
  • Billericay School sixth form was full of middle class posers when I was there a couple of years ago. They were like"Look at me I'm so beautiful and clever and I work in Waitrose and go to staff parties and I got off with the Section Manager." All the girls had their own cars and working boyfriends aged about 23,they were spoilt brats.
  • The local planning committee, based in Brentwood who keep allowing new houses to be built. I don't mind that but I do mind it when they knock down one and build 2,3,4, or even 5 in its place.
  • Traffic jams&lack of places to go
  • The worst things about Billericay is that there is not much for youngsters to do. Besides the Hight Street, perhaps the meetings in Lake Meadows or playing crazy golf. But besides that well you will just have to go out of town for that one......
  • Having been born in Billericay and lived here for 33 years I appreciate the frustration of the kids. There is nothing to do unless your earning a fair whack and buying a house here is impossible unless you're a stockboker. Things are so bad I can no longer afford to live in the town I was born in, and I earn a reasonable wage!! As for the Con Club supporting Theresa Gorman, talk about the blind leading the blind!
  • If you want to do anything, i would suggest learning to drive rapidly, till you do your life ain't worth living.
  • Teresa Gorman - argggggggggggghhhhhhhh Everyone knows everything about everyone- small town gossip. The green bits that disappear and turn into brick and the houses that turn into two overnight.
  • Everyone you meet outside of the place thinks Billericay must either be in Ireland, Scotland or outer Mongolia. Then they make a joke about Billericay Dicky
  • Woolworths & Con Club
  • There is nothing for the younger generation to do.
  • Nice, reasonably respectable town with not much to do, and very expensive houses and too many smarmy estate agents. Basildon council spending £4 of my council tax on Billericay and the other £63 on Basildon which is and always will be a dive. Lots of gangs of kids on the street playing at being grownups, with too much money to spend on designer shirts and trainers and alcopops - find them something to do!!
  • The worst thing there is never a decent public toilet and we all have to run cross legged home to discover we've lost the door key a plus point however is well fertilised lawns.
  • Basically to do anything in this dump you have to be rich!!! Billericay is a snobbish town and so therefore nothing for the youngsters to do. The so called pick-up spot at Lakemeadows is a park with a lake in and no-one in there right minds will go down there from September to March because there is nothing to do, it is always raining and there is no where to go for cover. Get more in for the youngsters!!! The Edwardian club is a private membership where yet again you have to be VERY rich to join. The best place to go if you want to pick someone up is by getting a train or bus out of this dump and into a town which has facilities for the youngsters.
  • Billericay is rather tedious. It's houses and estate agents really. Nowt much else.
  • Billericay in my opinion is a pretty damn fine place. There is admitedly little for the young (who seem to have written this guide) but there are a lot of pubs.

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Last updated: 2008-10-14

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