The Knowhere Guide

The Worst Things in Bournemouth, Dorset*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

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The Worst Things
  • Hitler should have bombed the place to smithereens. Even worse than Brighton and that IS saying something. Full of junkie Scousers, Jocks, Geordies and other pieces of shit. I once battered some lad in Bournemouth once for mouthing off at me.
  • Charminster High street AKA the Gaza strip.
  • Chavs, Snobs, Old People, No alternative scene, boringness, monotany, the fact that the sign at the train station says home on LVE insurance, doenst seem to boast much about the town.
  • Bournemouth Beach in the summer. Having so many clubs and pubs concentrated in such a small area. Lack of swimming pool and ice rink.
  • Parking Meters are now everywhere (2006) The Lansdowne Clock still doesn't work
  • bournemouth
  • Ugliness... expensive bus fare from Ringwood....
  • the
  • People who think Bournemouth is rubbish and those notorious TBG's (typical bournemouth girls!)...some of us girls down here don't think we are the best ever, we just like to have a laugh!
  • Lived there for 11 years till two months ago,and quite honestly the town is full of junkie low life.The prostitutes plying their trade 24/7 round Southcote road watched over by their yardie pimps.come on Bournmouthians youre town is so bad now its not safe in large parts anytime after 5pm
  • James the nudist!
  • the chavs, i say shoot them all
  • IMAX
  • the worst thing in bournemouth is the singers and singing tramps. they are really scary! and the thing is they cant even sing!
  • loads of druggies especially in boscombe.the amount of dodgy asylum seekers roaming the town.its very expensive cost of living is among the highest outside of london........and the wages certainly dont reflect that!!!
  • too many junkies,prostitutes 24/7 in West Boscombe and too many so-called refugees who are changing the character of the town for the worse.Also lack of a "real" pub in Bournemouth town centre.
  • All the drug dealers,so called asylum seekers with brand new mobiles expensive leather jackts and uninsured cars,prostitutes in west boscombe(rough as rats all of em and many have pimps),West Howe.......right rough hole.In 11 years living here the town has gone to pieces and now i just cant wait to leave it.
  • drunken louts at night around town centre and on buses ,cctv cameras and surveillance helicopters
  • Having to wear shoes to get in most pubs/clubs. Stupid. You just get Chavs wearing shoes.
  • townies, chavies, scum of the earth like to inhabit bournemouth so watch out they dont get you...
  • The worst thing i have encountered is the one way system known as Churchill Gardens in Boscombe.Some clowns called the Neighbourhood Management Board implement this.I now have to drive an extra mle to get five yards from my flat
  • Once again it must be the Highbury Hotel,Westby Road,Boscombe.If this is a hotel then next year we will be booking a hotel in Bagdad!!
  • all the big groups of townies who walk along shouting abuse at anyone who doesnt dress the same as them or waste every weekend of their life getting drunk and pointlessly vandalising things like they do.
  • TOWNIES, KACKERS, They're everyyyywheeeere! Burberry, gold, poppers, classics, Euggggh! WHy God WHy! The Opera House. NightClubs: Townies and Alcohol = Fights, knifes, arrests.
  • The women in Bournemouth are the unfriendliest, rudest and most cliquey people I have ever encountered anywhere. And I've spent time in a lot of places. They're all either Stuck-up trendies, unashamed gold diggers or both. Many of them are on coke, the rest just act like they are. Once you get on speaking terms with one of them (this takes years), you usually find out that they've never spent more than a week outside of Bournemouth in their sad, meaningless lives, and think the world ends at Ringwood. Also, this is not a good town for employment. The ultimate in career progression in Bournemouth is a desk job at Chase Manhattan Bank. Once you achieve these lofty heights you can either move out of the place, or resign yourself to a lifetime of glitz-veneered Bournmouth mediocrity. All that glitters is not gold.
  • rain
  • Stuck up good looking pig thick girls who love themselves. I have no idea who they get off with....probably each other. The scum element have invaded Bournemouth.....stay away you are not welcome. Bournemouth is a nice town and does not need to be ruined by you Poole scum....oo there I gave it away.
  • TOWNIES! the gangs that hate skaters and think they have problems and take it out on otehr people. the little cackers who look 11 but r really 14 and haven't started puberty yet. they think they r black and live in south east london but when they are on there own they r shit scared. also U get them annoying stuck up bitches around town 2.
  • the townies
  • having a life
  • Pikeys in the summer who leave the place looking like a right shit hole
  • No Five!
  • Imax Cinema, the attitude ridden kids that hang around with litres of cider, Boscombe druggies, the winos anywhere between Cotlands Rd DSS and Horshoe Common, aggressive beggars, Scientology folk in the Square. And Richard Carr.
  • the so called "skaters" who dont skate but wear the clothes. they hang out in the gardens and the square getting drunk because they're not old enough/ too skanky to get into any pubs. THEY ARE ALL IDIOTS! thanks x
  • West Howe pikeys
  • stag and hen crowds at the weekend
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  • I don't know where you people find these tasty people in Bournemouth I can only guess that they are imported because we have a rhyme that sums up Bournemouth women:- Bournemouth born, Bournemouth bred, Fat in body, Thick in Head!
  • skaters and goths!!!!!!
  • Bournemouth in the Winter, nothing to do & it's too cold brrrrrr!
  • CACKA SCUM. GO DIE!
  • Down with the eye-sore max www.demolish.me.uk
  • Junkies leaving syringes where the local skate lads go.People coming out of the Opera House drunk and screaming in the early hours.People asking me for money all the time...why dont they get a job like normal people? Not feeling safe when I go out. The way people drive...give way means give way it does not mean sticking your mundano half way across the road forcing people to stop
  • The massive townie population... exterminate now!
  • The snobbery! Just a quick note to the guys who reckon Bournemouth girls are all up their own arses: if you try and talk to us we are nice and we do like to chat. We only look stuck up cos we've had enough off lairy twats trying to grab at our tits. Bournemouth girls are notoruiously attractive, but believe us the guys can be just as hard to crack!
  • the journey on the No. 5 bus to Bournemouth its long, mind numbingly boring and you get harrassd by townies charlie chaplin scary man townies/gypsies they breed like cocrockces in Bournemouth getting tuttedat by numerous old women
  • 2CR FM for having so much money and still not being able to make a decent radio station. Not knowing whether they are a station for the oldies in the town or not and no memorable DJs.
  • Tourists!(well- you shouldn't have dissed the locals should you). The IMAX cinama.
  • licencing laws stink
  • Girls who are too pretty for me.
  • All the gangs who go around in there tracksuits tryin to look hard in their massive groups!!!We know who u are!!And 1 day we'll catch alone!!
  • The tourist season.Holidaymakers.
  • Bournemouth is plagued with townies.. the white lightning dirinkers are everywhere.. be warned if your a skateboarder or a goth..
  • Bournemouth folk are either friendly old folk, or pompous twats with thier heads up their own arses. Oh and students.
  • Nasty entity in Bournemouth called 'The Toope'. Best avoided at all times unless you are a big fan of dirty holes.
  • Yes, a lot of you girls out there in Bournemouth are very attractive, but please ladies, don't let it go to your heads. I'm not stereotyping all attractive women, because that wouldn't be fair, and I know a lot of friendly, sexy girls in Bournemouth. But those of you who are a bit "off" (you know who you are)don't you think it would be nice to let up on the attitude a bit? You'd look so much prettier with a smile on your face!
  • Kackers,old people,trendy bitches that think they're amazing,bad pop bands at the BIC,mini golf in the gardens,beach huts,not being able to find your bus at b'mouth square,getting run-over by your bus at b'mouth sqaure...
  • Being away too long.
  • I have lived in Boscombe for two years and although its true the area does have problems with hard drugs, prostitution etc, it has been cleaned up quite a bit recently. It has noticably improved in the time I have been here. Street CCTV cameras have moved most ( but not all ) of the raggedy assed whores off the streets. Begging seems to have declined quite noticably. Encouraged by the council, once derelict shops and businesses are being renovated and reopened. Still lots of junkies though. I've been told that per head of population it is the eighth most heroin addicted place in the UK. I don't know if it's true. There are some reputedly good rehab clinics which draw in junkies from outside the area. If get clean then fine ! The problem is they don't all make it and then end up staying here with all of their junkie ways.
  • Too many gangs of grunting, insecure oaths in track- suit bottoms, trainers and designer labels who shout abusive, moronic comments at anyone who opts to dress differently. As a ‘non-conformer’, I often have to put up with this cretinous (and sometimes physically threatening behaviour) when I’m out and about minding my own business. This kind of thing has got worse since Bournemouth became totally and brutally trendified.
  • jealous promoters - crap djs- r.carr - the fire fm - road rage-hard house-ugly birds-two step-bad taste-
  • Not living there anymore and having to live in London for work. Dont' get to come home as much as I'd like.
  • Having to live away from all the great places that I stored up all those wonderful childhood and teenage memories. I live in London - just not the same as Bournemouth!
  • The Kevs ruin the atmosphere most of the time, that is untill an old lady goes to have a word with them and scares them off.
  • the imax cinema building
  • Drugs.
  • Tourists who come down to Southborne Corner, and then winge about us playing footy on the beach, even though we are down there from 9am every morning for the whole summer. If you want to turn into a lobster go down with the rest of them to the pier, and quit whinging at the locals.
  • Kids in Helly Hanson puffer jackets starting on everyone and everything, then throwing up through lack of alcahol tolerance!
  • Stupid Balloon in the central park. Somebody please burst this bubble!!!
  • Only 35 miles from Scumhampton.
  • Too many students, closed in the winter and pretty boring really - a lot of gays.
  • Snobby bitchy girls and arrogant blokes, okay you get them in every town...
  • packed with sad townie types, designer shirts,trousers and smart shoes rapidly becoming the hen/stag night capital of the UK most of the pubs/clubs cater for the above too many tourists during the summer too many old people all year round most of the women seem to think they are above everyone else.
  • Grockels
  • The pretentiousness of my age group. Possibly the best looking boys/girls in the south, but don't they know it. Overpriced beer in shitty club/pubs. Not being able to walk through town in the summer. Man Utd Shirts (or are they all Arsenal ones now?)
  • B.I.C. and some buildings in the town, also the one way system around the town centre = ludicrous!!
  • All the old people in the summer.
  • Nosey security cameras everywhere (no parties on the beach).
  • Worst by far -- Sinatras night club
  • The Train Station - falling to pieces.
  • The Women - Chips on their shoulders, because they think that they're all God's gift. To pull [assuming a male perspective] in Bournemouth you have to be or appear to be 1. Well known around the town. 2. Built like a brick shithouse 3. V. Rich. Unless you want to pull a pig.
  • Tourists - Look isn't there anywhere better for northern/London grockels to go on holiday. The town just fills up with sad middle aged and old people with the kind of clothes socks in sandle wearing grockleness that just drives us up the wall.
  • The town is the number one Foreign language study centre in Britain. This means that every year, from June onwards, it fills up with foreign students. No racism, but I really hate feeling like an outsider in my home town.
  • Headquarters of The Bognor Regis Elderly Fan Club. Est.1996
  • Having to pay up to £10 for a crap night in a club that shuts at 1am.
  • All the night clubs in Bournemouth close at 2am.
  • Born and lived in Bournemouth. Used to have a lot of good pubs, great restaurants. Was there last year lousy pubs (3?) rotten over-priced food, no decent fish and chips. Town centre all f***** up, rude snotty young punks all over the joint, no parking, rotten drivers. Overall it was Rotten! Rotten! Rotten! But I still love it, MY HOME TOWN.
  • Lots of elderly it must be said.
  • Potatoes every meal!
  • Leaving Bournemouth after three months studying English and making friends.
  • loads of cameras
  • The lack of a big Woolworths, Virgin Megastore, decent shopping centre and also it needs some sort of attraction like a.....dare I say it.......a theme park :)
  • True blue Tory town. No soul or conscience. Little in the way of culture or intellectual pleasures - art gallery, museum, art centre etc. No night buses after midnight only expensive taxis. Boscombe (West) is notorious for hard drugs, crime and prostitution.
  • The abundance of designer labels.

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Last updated: 2013-01-06

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