The Worst Things in Canvey Island, Essex*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

You can tell us more about Canvey Island.

• Christopher Morris hasn't bought Gran Turismo 5 yet. Little prick.
• Christopher Morris he gives canvey - a bad name!
• Christopher Morris
• The Chavs'
• IF YOU ARE A BOY AND WANT TO DO WORK EXPERINCE IN CANVEY INFANT SCHOOL DO NOT THE TEACHERS ARE SEXIST EXPECALLY MRS MATTEWS BECAUSE ALL THE TEACHERS MAKE YOU DO IS SORT STUFF OUT WHILE THE GIRLS HAVE A LOT OF FUN AND GO ON THE TRIPS. SO DO SOMETHING ELSE!
• all the little wankaz that yooz text langwich like dis coz itz for sad kidz that fink they are black
• My family, the seafront really need something doing with it, and the speed ramps on the 1 way system,
• castle veiw and cornelius, new look
• Chav tossers who think its cool to be 'the hardest' (of which Canvey has more than its fair share). Yes - you might be able to headbut a brick - but look at the state of you now - bleeding mutha fucka...
• THE ESTATES AROUND CORNLIOUS (NOT SPELT CORRECTLY BUT DO NOT GIVE A SHIT - THOESE THAT LIVE OR ATTEND HERE WILL UNDERSTAND THIS. THE REST OF US JUST WANT RID - PLEASE - THIS WAS A NICE ISLAND BEFORE CV WAS INTRODUCED!!!!!!!!!!
• CASTLE VEIW, CORNELIUS AND LUBBINS
• CASTLE VEIW, CORNELIUS AND LUBBINS
• ITS NEAR SOUFEND RITE INNIT
• Havin to go back and visit
• closest train station is far and too many chavs
• NUFFIN
• the worst thing is tht canvey is so near to Southend. Southend is a dump full of druggies, i personally feel scared to go to southend alone. Canvey is by far the best place on the essex coast. I am proud to live here.
• the smell on canvey lately
• The accent - I'm from Canvey and moved away - when I come back the high pitched lazy accent cuts through me
• my life thats SHIT
• no gay spots
• The worst things on canvey r the ppl that slate it!! it may not be big nd there may b SOME kids/teens/adults that go out nd cause trouble but u get that every where!!!! I'm 15 nd love livin on canvey there aint dat much to do but i see my boyfriend n me mates, have a laugh n a nice life so if ur gonna slate canvy LEAVE COZ UR THE 1's WHO NEED TO SORT UR LIFE OUT Also the ppl at furtherwick ain't scum we u get dat in every school so dn't tar us all with the same brush.... SORT IT OUT
• Everyone that has moved there in the last twenty years that have brought their bad behaviour with them. If they went back to where they came from and the council was less corrupt ie. stopped giving planing permission to their builder friends it would not be as bad as it is today. We should never have gone in with Castle Point. We were clean, tidy and affluent before the merger.
• ALL THE DIRTY GRUNGERS
• Some of the people i HAVE to put as one of the worst things. There are just so many rude-boys (and girls!). They race through the town-centre, they drink excessively, they smoke excessively, they get around excessively, they swear excessievly, they're rude excessievly. They just give us all a bad name! No wonder everyone laughs when we say we're from Canvey! I know its a stereotype, but there are people like that, and its nothing to be proud off!
• having to say i lived on canvey
• Bored and mischievous teenagers and some geezer birds that like to fight as much as the men
• all d stupid snobby old ppl
• I grew up on the island until i was 5 and my mum and dad took me to australia, now i`m 42 and have read about the island as it is today, it sound like a very cofused place. my mum decided to go back to the island to spend time with my sister after 36 years in australia. after reading about the way the teenagers have nothing to do i would suggest someone tries to find my mum and ask her about how nice it is over here in australia. she wouldn`t be hard to find as she probably will be the only one with a smile on her face.
• Some one wrote, the worst thing is, it is so small everyone knows everyone, well how come that I have posted several notices on various knowhere boards about locating the Glen family(father Barry) that no one seems to know them, all I ask is an email from at least one of them or a reply to my request, I need to contact Barry's ex wife Angela ( maiden name Ruffles)they had at least five children so someone must know one of them, so let me see if the story is true that you all know each other.I know Angela remarried and lived in the Basildon area for a while then moved to wales. So get your thinking caps on and live up tp your reputation. Dennis Poole
• the police,the 9pm curfew for under 16's, nuttin to do, Grungers and lods more
• not knowing where angela ruffles is that is the pits dennis
• 12-15 yr olds who think they have gangs on drinkin n think c front is good ha! get a life!
• Doctors, too doctory, disgusting smell of medicine etc, and blinds that are too doctory
• the beach looks like bagdad after the americans have bombed the shite out of it,enter the water at your own risk and bring hobnail boots as if the jagered rocks don't get you the crabs will.The only sand you will see on canvey is in the local builders yard.If you do visit get out by dusk thats when all the FERRELL kids come out to play.
• zzzzzzzzzz
• Jetty jumping in the SUMMER if your popla n aged 14-18 u can go der and jetty jump of a 40ft hight peir in to the sea water !!! ITS GREAT FUN I DO IT EVERY YEAR
• People who slag us kids off
• I am a 14 year old teenager and i can not stand living my life watching out of the window waiting for yobs to wreck my house, the woods that i live near and having the police constantly on the phone because yobs of ages 12 to 16 want to set fire to everything near them. Why cant you just STOP wrecking Canvey and get a life, just coz your a teenager it doesn't mean that you have got to take drugs and drink have sex wherever you can and be a nuiscence. I am a young girl who like to be NORMAL and watch tele go out without causing trouble and still have a laugh, why cant you YOBS be the same. I study and look for jobs but, if i was on drugs or drinking it would be easier to go to rehab for your jobs. GET A LIFE AND STOP MAKING CANVEY ISLAND A LIVING NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Anyone called Andy, or Cockle
• The end of the 53 flood and the construction of the sea wall.
• why do people from canvey talk about the @island@ like its friggin fantasy island?get real.
• Lack of police! The island needs to be sorted and the police are the only people who can. most islanders will disagree but most of them cause the trouble!
• wankers that i sed earlier, who think they own th place and end up gettin big groups after ya
• Impressions.... lack of good shops and scruffy houses
• the sluts!!!!!! and that there is no where to go.......
• sundays
• Driving back on after a hard days work, life just gets worse!!
• Smell of Pitsea Dump and the Gas works
• overdevelopment
• Not a lot to do here. You have to go off the Island to enjoy yourself!!
• again, the conservative club, it still stands
• Is that sometimes people know where.
• People from Southend and Basildon! Council scum the lot of em! Southend full of people that scrounge off the dole and with only 1 brain cell per 1000 of em! Sothenders crime ridden herion taking thieving low lives all of them!!
• A FEW WANKERS ON THE ISLAND!
• BAD PRESS
• The police station closes on Sunday, pain in arse if get a seven day wonder and work six days a week
• The Gold Mine getting pulled down. Was the place to be, everyone came from far and wide, especially when Chris Hill used to DJ down there. Canvey's never been quite the same since,
• There's just NOTHING TO DO!!!!!!!!! It's all so mind-numbingly DULL! I'm so glad I left.
• Polluted estuary and scummy beaches with obscene graphiti on sea walls. In winter Canvey is freezing cold and feels like it's on the edge of the world.Also half the island is owned by Jeff King,which only increases the feeling of being cut off from the mainland.I only wonder why people come on holiday here.
• new years-eve on canvey: "OH SHIT ANOTHER YEARS GONE, AND I'M STILL STUCK HERE..."
• There isn't anywhere for teenagers to go, that's why they end up the sea wall at weekends, underage drinking. The council have got to do something for them, maybe a new club for under 18's.
• Its so near to Southend! the fact that everyone keeps building on it even if that means ignoring green belt land, residents, flattening badgers and erecting bloody great big mental homes in peoples back gardens!!! However, theres definately a type of person that lives here, illiterate! huge sex drive, speak there own lingo and have a tolerance for being shat on by their own council!
• well where do you start .I have lived here for 18 years ( through no fault of my own) i can truthfully say it is the pits.All the under 25's have major attitudes, It has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in essex (fact)If you dont believe me just go and walk around the town center at 11.00am on a weekday. Canvey people have such a small town attitude ie; wont shop anywhere else, work anywhere ,or go out anywhere else. and to top it all off everyone is related to eveyone
• Only two roads off! And both from the same roundabout! Rush hour carnage!!! The beautiful oil refinery (most of which is actually in Corytown) being the first thing you see when you drive onto the island.
• People who moan about Canvey
• Somerfield (supermarket) never got anything you want, their shortdated stuff ie. sarnies that go out of date that day, they only knock off about 10 percent whereas most other supermarkets knock em down to half price, most of the staff are no-nothing tossers who hold up common vegetables and ask "what are these called" thats if they can be bothered to talk to you at all. They tried to improve things when they got a bit of competition from the new Safeway near Charfleets by making it bigger and all that suceeded in doing was show how little their selection and choice really is. The hole in the wall ATM machine is right round the back (with no signposts to it) and the icing on the cake is that you have to pay to park there. This place should be avoided at all costs and should also be under the "demolish it now" section as well.
• The Beach - Crap the rest of the time!
• The beach of broken shells and dog shite.
• All the people with bad attitudes - and there's a lot of them.
• Kings Holiday Camp has gone down dramatically with the redefinition of the Cuckoo's Nest. You need respectable dress to get in, and even then it's usually closed due to a private party :(
• The other lowlight has to be the JobCentre. Unless you like the sounds of wailing and gnashing of teeth. The Careers centre upstairs has got some decent birds in it though... ;-)
• everyone knows everyone!!!
• The whole island: especially trying to play football there during the winter. On little drop of rain, and the whole islnad literally turns into a shithole. I absolutely hate the Island. I am so glad that I don't have the unforunance of living there, although some of my friends do. How do they put up with it? I mean there is nothing of interest AT ALL. I'm in Southend and can't really speak for the whole population of the town, but, I mean it is far too bloody close, and drags Southend down with it. It deserves to be flooded. With its occupants still there. The accents! Save me! It's worse than the infamous Southned accent by far. And what a shithole Watersides is. And that bloody aerial at Castle Point for Essex FM (sorry for swearing) means that you can't get any other station when you drive past (well I can't, anyway). And that 60mph down to 30mph at the bottom of the hill. What's all that about?
• Too many essex men
• Not enough done to tidy up the seafront. But their getting there.

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Last updated: 2011-01-19