The Worst Things in Carlisle, Cumbria*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

You can tell us more about Carlisle.

The Worst Things

• Too many self harming teens! EVERYONE has mental issues!
• The worst thing about Carlisle apart from the closed minded attitude is the accent (and I should know as I used to be local). Why do all sentences have to end with "Ehhh"?
• paul dodd
• raffles! mingin n full of skanks
• slagging off the scots, get a life!!!!
• currock crack city everyone and their dogs having assymetrical haricuts a la tony and gays and parading the shite bars picking up the local slags. the nazi big issue seller outside boots any factory, the biuscuit, the fast food meal one, the water bottling one. the football fans i mean thugs.
• Chavs, Nazis and teenies with no brain.

• HARRABY #1
• the birds probably harder them most a the men nt a gd thing or is it !
• the birds probably harder them most a the men nt a gd thing or is it !
• FUCK OFF.
• the weather- sooooo wet and cold! and those floods every few years!
• Casta Oilers!!!!!
• chavs!!!!!!!!!1

• Mark Geddis, brother of famous David (played for ipswitch and england), co=owner of michelangelos. Big headed billy no=mates now he's got a restaurant. Known to be a bit of a cock watcher and hassles his staff like he owns them. Grow up you dickhead and show some respect.
• all the gay bods who think they r rock solid
• to much violance around raffles and dowbeck
• Scallies, 14 year old mums, carlisle uniteds league position, no bands whatsoever come here
• Lenny Grayham, From raffles
• People calling you "marra" - STOP IT! I am not a vegetable..honest!
• Scally's, the scally's that think there hard but aren't unless they've got a gcrew wid them, Greebo's they've infected the place, the footie team, Currock and Raffles. The pigs that won't let ya enjoy a little drink.
• tashy burberry wearing 10 men
• People who slate the locals without trying to get to know them. The people who feel that just because they have a student loan, they are intellectually superior to everyone. When you're pretentious is it any wonder that you get a bit of flak? People like Paul Dodd who give the people mentioned above reason to gripe. (But remember only the tiny minority are like that wanker)!
• Everything apart from the castle. Carlisle is a dump. The majority of people are ugly, inbred, and they are unfriendly towards outsiders [like me] as well. They are also narrow minded and most of them are ignorant of the rest of the country.
• Scallys Scallys Scallys Scallys Civic Centre Currock is one of the 10 most deprived areas in the UK. Nice.
• Coming back to Carlisle and facing everybody that knows every 1 and every 1's business!
• Scallys and boy racers, does our socity hold no class
• Everything apart from the immediate above.
• Everything apart from the immediate above.
• Not enough Geordies - too many gypsies
• Every Friday and Saturday night it is full of drunken locals who mistakenly think they're `hard` and start on you. Happens most weeks, don't go out alone in the early hours.
• arriving the narrow mindedness and lack off racial tolerance
• Wondering why your nuts and arse are really itchy, then realising it was since you =bought that brand new fabric conditioner you saw on that new advert which said in one of the corner it was only available in Carlisle. Know what I mean Like!
• if you want to see a grown man cry go and watch carlisle united
• Drunken dickheads who give carlisle a bad name.People from Penrith,Wigton,Longtown ect who come into carlisle to cause trouble on a weekend Charva's and teenage Kappa-slappers on a Saturday afternoon in the city centre.
• The men turn into Victor meldrew / 'you don't wanna be doin it like that' bloke after 25...........Go for the 21 year olds to cop with!
• Alot of predgudice against minorities such as black people, gay's ,students.A strong yob mentality amonst some people.
• Alot of predgudice against minorities such as black people, gay's ,students.A strong yob mentality amonst some people.
• Raffles (wheres that) Currock, harraby, morton, stanwix, denton holme, upperby, st. aidans, trinity, Belah, durranhill, rosehill, lowry hill. which are all shit cos we like botch.
• Female smokers. Local mens dress sense. Fat Fingers-small, shite and bar staff are up their own arses. Old women that try to pull anything. Student bars (before you ask, I am a student). Pissin' bridge of Eden. Teenage pregnancy-possible to get a ten year old pregnant with a trip to MacDonalds!
• The men. If you are a woman, prepare to be threatened, hassled and abused in the street if you dare to venture out after 5pm - even by young boys, they have nothing better to do, and don't appear to have the required amount of brain cells to think of something else. That's the worst thing about growing up in a small minded, inbred town I guess............ I would hate to have grown up there.
• FUCKING HE MAN CHARVAS WHO WALK AROUND THE TOWN LOOKING HARD WITH THEIR MATES(UNTIL YOU GET THEM ON THEIR OWN), TEENAGE SLAPPERS AND BOY RACER FUCKING DICKHEADS(SO YOU HAVE A NOVA, BIG DEAL!!!! ITS A FUCKING MOTTS CAR)
• To near to bloody Scotland ....
• Bunch of fuckin dicks live there
• realising your stuck there for 3 goddamn years for a poxy crappy degree
• All that bollocks on the A595.....sort it!
• carlisle...do I have to say anymore?
• Idiots that think they're hard and want to fight with everyone until they're on their OWN!
• What on earth has happened to Holme Head bay!! It used be a brilliant place when I lived in Holme Head as a kid. We all swam in the river, jumped off the waterfall, had picnics on the green. It now looks like a dump. Come on Carlisle Council, get your fingers out and do something - it could be a beautiful attraction - cafes, restaurants, pubs, gift shops. As usual Carlisle Council does not know what its got and are blinkered to improvements - i.e. who on earth came up with that 'bridge thing' design outside the Castle!!
• U DONT FIT IN U GET FUCKED
• lack of drive in young people; get out, see the world then go back home. You'll appreciate it more.
• cross eyed Carla, comes complete with squealing pig laugh and moveable arms.
• the narrow minded natives. cross eyed Carla.
• Paul dodd Charvas buskers The longtown, basin haired dickheads who wade into carlisle now and again. Fuck off !!!
• Kappa Slappers. Boy Racers. Alll of the couples in Carlisle are ugly as fuck Incredibly high teenage pregnancy rate
• the local scallys, buskers, the weather!! idiotic prats who manage to have too much money to spend drinkin, but still need to sign on, fights at the taxi rank at the top of botchergate narrow minded people
• unsuccessful football club taxis only pick you up at ranks!!
• Young have a go heroes who get doped up to the eyes and think they can take on the world.
• Smell at Cavannah & Grey
• its crap to go out at night, please build something on botchergate, and generally demolish the place and start again would be good!! go to the hospital if u want to be hospitalised for cancer if you have a cold!!!
• living here
• Very few bands play and there's not enough support for local music.
• The small minded, provincial attitude of those that slag off Jocks (most people in Carlisle have Scottish blood in them!), Geordies, Southerners etc. It's a bit pathetic really.
• Bit isolated, but you get used to it! That Paul Dodd character. Someone chase him out of town.
• The council for taking back handers and the macho attitude
• Tourists from anywhere south of Lancaster always asking why Carlisle United don't play in the Scottish league.Because WE ARE NOT IN SCOTLAND!!!!!!!! Too near Lancashire and Geordieland.
• Michael Knighton
• Teenage single mothers, teaching a new twist in the English language
• I agree with who ever mentioned crappy scottish pound notes, I'm Scottish living in Scotland. But I dont even register the bloody things as proper currency. They're outdated and a bloody nuisance. Now First Buses have those stupid boxes to put money in, they keep on blocking the bloody things!
• Clubs - although Buskers is a great nightclub and Perfect is a top night out, the city does lack in clubs and nightlife and doesn't have the nightlife that most other cities have.
• All the slappers. Known in Penrith as the Carlislian Slappers.
• Top 5 good things about Carlisle:
  10. 72.500 citizens - 42.567 hookers
  9. Buskers
  8. Only nine out of ten people at Newfield eventually phone the police if you walk past their houses
  7. Only nine people out of ten you meet on Botchergate after ten actually have guns
  6. Chiver Sports (near Carlisle Castle)
  5. Julie Thompson (8 High Green Croft,Harraby)
  4. Many XR2is,XR3is and Cosworths
  3. You're the only customer at Marks & Spencer
  2. Cheap prices for loaded, corny and smelly European visitors
  1. The way everbody smiles and calls you "tashy" . Thats about all I've got to say about Carlisle.
• Run-down Botchergate. Yuk. Worst entrance to a city in UK.
• The worst thing about Carlisle is it is so close to Scotland, to many Jocks, Cilla Black on national TV reffered to Carlisle as been in Bonny Little Scotland..... One more bad thing about Carlisle is it football team, the best team in the worst league, they move out of that league and become the worst team in the second worst league. How is that for Progress!!!!!!
• The worst thing about Carlisle is the large amount of so-called Newcastle United fans (not fans four years ago may I add) who take the piss out of Carlisle.
• The amount of crappy Scottish bank notes.
• Old tarts in Buskers pulling young blokes.
• Most of the narrow minded people who live there Kids getting drunk on cider and pretending to be hard

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Last updated: 2008-10-14