Cringing Cult of Celebrity in Chaffley, Essex*

Famous residents and ex-residents.

You can tell us more about Chaffley.

• Vlad the Impaler lived here and learnt stick sharpening at the local polytrechnic as part of his YTS course in Eastern European beastliness. This course also includes stealing from car boot sales and removal of garden ornaments as well street begging. Note: those that have had a haircut since before Benny Hill died will not be able to enrol. You will however be eligible if you were cursed at birth with exceptionally deformed hair, as defined by the Haynes Washing Machine and Domestic Appliance Manual and 1968 Hillman Avenger Service Book.
• Famous residents include Huffty from "The Word", Gareth "Gaz Top" Jones, star of How 2 and Keith Richards. It was rumoured that Jerry Springer was to move here, but it was just a rumour, like the one about Elvis being alive(also false).
• The most famous people to have lived in Chaffley have to be Jeremy Spake from BBC TV's Airport series, Elvis Costello, Gary Tibbs (guy from Adam and the Ants), Trent Reznor (from Nine Inch Nails), Gary Sharkey (from One Inch Punch), the whole of Half-Man Half-Biscuit and Mao Tse Tung (who actually thought up Communism while working as advertising editor for the "Chaffley Retriever", the local rag.
• Famous man Glynis Bradley came form here as did Shaft (the Sun columnist) and Isaac Hayes, who sang "Shaft". Weird huh? Also Tom Baker and Richard O Sullivan have both opened up second hand car shops (yes, shops) were they sell, of all things, second hand cars. Funnily enough, Chaffley is still little known, despite being where Winston Churchill was born and where Lord Albert Finney holidays.
• John Cleese used to own a pig farm here after Monty Python broke up. As did Ginger Baker from sixties combo Cream.

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Last updated: 2008-10-14