The Knowhere Guide

Cafes and Coffee Shops in Chaffley, Essex*

High tea and a sticky bun

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Cafes and Coffee Shops
  • Betty Pencils, Head Chef at the Peters Pie Den regularly displays her talents in full nude view of the braying public. In November she will be cooking the head of wonky-faced politico Lembit Opik, filling it with wax weevils and milk.
  • 'Stella's Fellas' on Kingsman Road is a sexist chauvinist cafe with a difference! The difference being that instead of woman being forced to parade around in degrading costumes, men are! The men, all captured locally, are forced to wait upon tables often only wearing giant nappies with the words; "I am scum, abuse me. I like it." emblazoned on the arse. The cream teas are also jolly scrummy.
  • Cafe del Hardinge on the seafront serves cream teas until 2.47pm every day, but the people that work there are severely ugly. so ugly you might want to chunder into your tea. Nice tea though. Go there if you want, but beware the ugly people…

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Credits

All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: PC Neckerchief, Wally Bra, Alan Mussuss, Ian Butterly, Piss Mongrel, Apple Smiths, Peter Donovanssssssss, Adroc Morley, Fookin Foozle, generic, Mohammad Stetson, Lembit Opik, Dr. William Otto Von Pus Krankendeshank, Mohammed Stetson

Last updated: 2008-10-14

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