Buskers, Street Entertainers in Chaffley, Essex*

Places to find public entertainment

You can tell us more about Chaffley.

• There is a tiny blue man who runs around the Greek quarter holding his crotch, screaming "I've cut my willy!". He used to play bass for the Captains Saucy Shanty Band, but nobody remenbers those days 'round here no more. Its all Playstation wiv yoo lot innit? Pass me a fig.
• Many tentacled talent vortex Westlife will be displayed in their gory opulence on a plinth in the town pond, shortly before my old headmaster injects them with electricity tapped from the cables overhead. The event is to be known as '1000 volts of John Holt'. Suggest you bring milk and cookies.
• James West sings his oh so crappy rap songs outside Chaffley Town Hall. I wish he'd shut the fuck up maan.
• Polish immigrant Carl Ford (no relation) entertains regularly on a Saturady morning. His mission in life it is said, is to entertain everone in chaffley at least some of the time. As part of his act he sings, dances and sometimes does a bit of slapstick comedy. Carl's main problem though, stems from his brother Gareth. Gareth is bitterly opposed to any form of street entertainers of any sort. He often goes into town to try and stop his brother and many girly fights ensue. The doubly ironic factor in Gareth's quest is it's probably more entertaining to watch these two fight like girls as this is usually far more entertaining than Carl's usual act.
• Tony Farmer is a cool dude street entertainer who prances (NOT dances) around Chaffley town centre like a puffin covered in twelve and a half marigolds. He was once arrested for killing and eating a sea gull, but was released when he sang to late each night in jail. Who'd have thunk it? Not meforsure.
• There aren't many real street entertainers, but care in the community has meant that there are plenty of mad people walking the streets. They are a form of entertainment I suppose. For a while anyway.

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Last updated: 2008-10-14