The Knowhere Guide

Clubs (Dance Music) and Music Bars in Clacton, Essex*

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Clubs (Dance Music) and Music Bars
  • Whoop whoop we have a new club at last! Well actually its Rumours with a brand new name! Its called Vice Versa.....the manager assured us this was a great choice of names but many except those he employs are yet to be convinced. Interestingly despite the new name, paint and thorough clean the place remains the same. I got this promotional text last week...... "How Good was Vice Versa on Sat Night........" By all accounts one girl had drink poured all over here and was then beaten up. There was another fight inside that the bouncers broke up and finished with one of them getting whacked over the head with a bottle. To answer your question how good was it, well it sounds great if your idea of a fun Saturday night out is going to the Lebanon war zone!!
  • everyone seams to be forgetting the recent and all to brief saviour of all our lost-the-will-2-live old skool souls, EPITOMY PROMOTIONS woke this town up for a while transforming the lighthouse(fighthouse) pub on the seafront to an ultrviolet old skool heaven, just a few nights of unadulterated old skool steam rose from the old place and once people got to hear that is was ALL GOOD, they came in their drones, especialy on bank holidays and new years eve allnighters where the atmosphere was second to none, why doesnt someone do something like that again, it was great and now all we have to look forward to is the smoking ban, leaving us all standing under brolleys outside tom peppers and another glass in your face if you look at someones bird at rumours!Come on people 'hear the drummer get wicked'
  • just to let you know that efxfm is now mission fm but we are still live on saturday nites because our transmitter is still hidden in fibbers cos someone in management likes us!!
  • efxfm runs live from fibbers on saturday nites, yeh we got our transmitter on there and no-one noticed cos we got someone on the inside!!
  • Its 2005 & Rumours finally has a new carpet. At last you can safely stand without fear of your feet getting stuck to the floor with years of spilt beer, flem and God-only knows what else that was soaked up in to it. The club however is still CRAP!!! Rather starngely the other nite the Mangeress appeared quite late on and seeing that rather than the normal 14 people in there on the awful Thursday nites, there were now 15!! She looked very smug, I hadn't the heart to tell her that there were always more people in the queue at anytime for Fibbers!
  • why does everyone keep slagging off fibbers, itsvery entertaining. Me and my mate went there last week and it was VERY entertaining! especially doing a threesome, he was good, shame about his fat a***, how we laughed! posher than rumours where they do it in the bogs, lovely!
  • Fibbers is far better than rumours and is a great club! The staff are fun and fit and the music is good. Is not small - its cosy!!
  • Rumours has always been a great place to get a glass smashed in your face.
  • the two clubs of clacton fibbers and rumours get slagged off because there not as good as others, but it doesnt mean you cant have a good time in them i often go to both if im bit poor and cant afford taxi back from colchester. Fibbers is more of a lively bar than a club in my opinion, rumours is more lively however has a reputation for being bit dodgey but i have never had n e problems whilst in there. and if all else fails go to the rocking horse bar very mixed people but rather young drinkers.
  • Rumours - lots of drink, good size, normally full of girls, very easy to Pull perfect way to end a night on the tiles
  • Planet's herb emporium is a great club cum hang out spot
  • rumours (many a fight) or fibbers (no fucking air conditioning)
  • Rumours!!! :-p
  • Everyone seems to be slagging off Rumours but let me tell you. Two London DJ's have earmarked Rumours for the start of what is going to be the most talked about night in essex. The Birth of The Funky Pussy takes place soon and will be announced on their web site. www.thefunkypussy.co.uk. its going to be big and glamorous. one not to be missed.
  • If going to clubs in Clacton beware of the dreaded Clacton Clap. Transmitted through the air by the smell of the natives underwear. If you smell a cheesy gusset get out!.... Er come to think of it best not to go to this area at all.
  • There's one club called Rumours but you have to look right to get in for the 18 and over but my friends get in and their only 16. There is an under 13 thing but that's supposed to be rubbish, mainly cause you can't get drunk.
  • I came back to good ol' clackers for the summer hols from uni and did the rounds, like you do.Went in rumours, still shite! and fibbers.What have they done in there.I had to put on my sunglasses, I thought I was having a bad trip, from all the drugs at uni.It looks like Austin Powers toilet!!
  • Fibbers is now the new GAY BAR in clacton.. lovely decor!!
  • Fibbers!! hahaha need I say more! Sign my report please sir!!!
  • fibbers! yeh you know the one! they use the barstaff for djs now. I know because my mate told me at school the other day! Tom peppers, is that the OK corral outside!!
  • Com'on, give Fibbers a break, the dancefloor is big enough for at least 3 whole people. Rumours on a Thursday Nite is one of the best places to be. Good 'pop' music, friendly and fun! (or if u want a punch up, and listen to techno, hard house whatever and then get stabbed outside afterwards go on a Friday nite)
  • Line-dancing
  • Rumours 1 of 2 better than fibbers as u can move Fibbers quite good can't move have to be at least 14 to get in
  • Please note; as per usual, the clubs in Clacton have been renamed. Fibbers is now called "Anus" and Rumours is called "Chip N Dale; Rescue Rangers". . .
  • Bring back oscars!!
  • This is where Clacton really comes into its own. No other town on earth (save Chaffley) has quite as dire a choice for night entertainment (apart from Chaffley), not including Chaffley that is. The Pill, The Rams Arm, Bullets, Yan Can Cook, Dongs With Dunbar and of course Donkey Porn are all rubbish clubs filled with dirty little men and women, whom I suspect have an underlying depression they wish to tackle, if only they could realise it was there. This depression manifests itself in many ways, but the most common is the wearing of shit clothes (nicely ironed-brightly coloured shirts, white/beige/cream trousers and a cropped head), regular appearances in a few carefully selected clubs/pubs and a fascination with repeatedly tearing around the town centre in shit cars (an activity the French call La plage de la tosseur, or ‘the sea wankers’)
  • You'd think being a seaside resort, Clacton would cater for the youngish clubber. I would strongly advise you to 'stay away' from both fibbers and rumours. They're absolute dives!!!!!
  • The club scene in Clacton is limited. You have Fibbers and you have Rumours. And that's it! Honestly. Let's deal with Fibbers. You are greeted at the door by the Mafia and girls in short skirts can easily jump the queue. Once inside, it is fair to say that my front room is bigger than said club but,at least you know what to expect, the music is good and it's easy to pull. Some people are even old enough to buy a drink at the bar. Rumours, is bigger so you can move on the dance floor. It is also the only club which is done up every year and never looks any different. There are good drinks offers but you can only get served if you're personal friends with the bar staff (like me!). They advertise some top djs and some of them even turn up! But, I wouldn't look twice at any of the podium dancers even if I was a boy! Finally, the best place to go out in Clacton, is Dukes in Chelmsford.
  • Rumours on Thursday is great, were else on earth can the DJ get the Clacton druken youths to do the Oky dokey "kness bent arms streached rah rah rah"
  • plenty to choose from back in the 80 s oscars on the pier was the place i spent many a drunk night with mates there and then up the hill to frankies to where there was always a selection of fine ladies to play with
  • Yay!!! Fibbers!! I have been going there since I was only 15 and it hasn't changed in the slightest! I have now escaped Clacton, and gone to university, but can still be found in there every now and again. Rumours!! Wow, what can I say... hasn't changed much either in the last few years, but you can still have fun there!
  • Careful you might catch something
  • "Is It You Philip?" is a club for those not sure of their own identity. They can go and be asked by the bar staff "Is it you Philip?" and then they can think about it while drinking mint flavour booze. Only those who are unsure of themselves may enter.
  • "Roomies" is good for vigorous searches on entry, but "Fibres" is a fine disco with highly enjoyable disk-jockies. Noel Edmunds and Dave Lee Travis are regulars. For the best night out you must travel to "Kings" near near Cholchester. It is free before 2o'clock in the afternoon and you will have much fun. Esspecially on a friends birthday!
  • fibbers for the locals who wanna late drink and wattever, rumours for the out fo towners and sheep!!!
  • Why has no-one yet mentioned the divine places of Fibbers or Rumours, eh? Always handy places to get ripped off, get pissed and pick up a dodgy person, who you later find out knows everyone you do.
  • The Station Inn (used to be opposite the railway station) was a GREAT place to pick up someone else's other half. They even used to run an advert in the local paper for their Friday and Saturday night discos with the phrase "the place to come to and leave your lover". The floor was always awash with split booze (I hope!) and ringside seats were available to watch the fights that broke out between the single guys who had just kissed a girl at the bar the the husband/boyfriend of said girl who didn't realise that you weren't actually supposed to bring your other half here. Aah, the memories...
  • The Town Hall in Clacton does a weekly rave-up in the Essex suite. This is not well advertised due to intense over-subscription. It is best to turn up early, though be warned, due to Remploy regulations, the council were forced to employ acutely schizophrenic door staff who might claim not to know anything about a rave-up. Fear not, just politely but firmly announce your intention to go inside and let no man or women stop you. This is not a wind-up. Honest.
  • The recent addition to Clactons night life is the club "Mangtra". It plays Jazz and Pop hits. Its not very good but I though you might like to hear about it anywho.

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Credits

All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: Daniel Hobbs, George, Clyde Trevor-Pointer, Caroline Mitchell, rod cove, John Mills, Happily Warmed, carol carpenter, shaz, Tom Haines, Jumper Pillows, Raw Pie, Stale McGraw, Boz, Spenyo, Stu, James Sadler, Paul de Valmency, sexaaaay, debbie, rambo, john knocker, James, jez smith, ian jackson, Mohammed Stetson, paul tucker, Tony Anderson, Anon., wrinkledupoldfart, Curtis Bighammer, Fabby, bILLY bOB kING, Pete, kirsty, gunton spine, Charlie, Anthea, Big John, karen, Jason Lee Watches in Fear, Bob, Rodney toesseur, char, AGGHHH!, bt busby, lynn, brid, Harry Smith, dan, Leonard Timpson, Alison Jones, John Doe, E.Puddick, J,Holton, Mrs Doyle, Sterty PcMu8, Natalie McDonald, Johnny Rottheim, Leonhard Fish, Norman Jacobs, Mark Farrow, malc, Phl, Clyde Van Barron Electric III, michaela, David Jones, generic, kez, Kelvin, teedee, DONNA, Stuart Goddard, Steven Harbinger, D Grimsdale, GtrLrmmum Petttre, Gazza, Gerald Manheim, mart kinsella, daniel bullimore, Trumpet Volvaire, raydowsett, Walter Tyber, gerge, George Hardwick, Richyhem, j.c.stone@amserve.com, Ray Dowsett, DONNA PETTITT, Dougie Ballaster, Bobcat Goldthwait, David Brown, Paul Caden, fred, Ray, Dave Crockett, Lyn Rennick, Hannah, TONY QUINLAN, Norman, Don Dingle, Dan MEar, dean atkinson, John, stephen adams, Lenharls Hettabernia

Last updated: 2008-07-21

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