The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else in Clacton, Essex*

The things which can't be categorised

You can tell us more about Clacton.

The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else

• The Stuff We Can't Fit in Somewhere Else - not even in the entry caverns!???
• Get rid of the people and |Clacton wouldn`t be a bad place to live!
• what ever happend to the ice hockey team a friend called mark from chapman road used to play,and he looked so good in all his kit, they had a ice rink on the pier.
• The thing about Clacton is that most people here have come here to escape and once here they relise there'd be better off back where they came from.
• Don't come here!
• its a shithole
• there is a new disease abroad in Clacton - a particularly virulent form of Gonnoreah which is air born! It is transmitted through the air by smell and can be contracted by sniffing the copious amounts of smell wafting from the local inhabitants underwear. Go into the local pubs and clubs and you are doomed!

• Clacton is a weird place, like some alien town, I duno why it just isn't like the rest of the country. We need a Debenhams. Oh and a hospital for the old people who have got that little to ancient. (This happens when they get to about 200 to 210 years.) Someone needs to come and re paint the whole town and pick off all the little bits of chewing gum which has made the ground look like a kind of mosaic. THE SEA, THE BEACHS well some of the beaches!
• Hello. I lived in Clacton til I was 10 yrs old(now 26,soon)I went to Alton Park school and lived on Beaumont Ave.I had four brothers, we were all close in age, so you may know one oif us. Can't remember many peoples names except for a girl called Cheryl Bacon (same age), she had an older brother. Anyway, been back a couple of times (when visiting Nan who lives in Colchester), I live up north now. Well I have been surprised when I have been back at what a miserable little hole it has turned into - not how i'd remembered it it all. Do people really still go there on their hols ?
• Clacton posse "The Pie Pops Crew" (comprising over 300 members) play nightly at the Sawdust and Mimsy pub in 34DD street. At a press copnference lead rapper Gavin Long said "We are shit. We know we're shit, but at least we try not to be shit. Being shit is ok. We'd rather not be shit, but we are shit and we know we're shit. In short, we think about it". At that point, fellow lead rapper Jamie "Brick Knob" Timms said "My willy done gone threw up. Does this means I'll die?". Fellow lead rapper Chris "titShit" Armitage assured him "Thats not to worry of boy boy boy. My god damn god damn does god damn does it? Ah ha ha!". Then they ate jam sandwiches and went to bed.
• QUICK NOTE FOR THE ATTENTION OF ALL MOODY/'DEPRESSED' TEENS; YOU MAY THINK YOUR LIFE IS BAD/DULL/AWFUL AND THAT NO ONE LISTENS TO YOU. YOU MAY FEEL LOST AND INSIGNIFICANT IN A BIG BAD WORLD. BUT FEAR NOT, I'M HERE TO SAY; GIVE IT TEN YEARS AND IT GETS MUCH MUCH WORSE YOU MOODY LITTLE FUCKERS NOW TAKE YOUR HAND OUT YOUR TROUSERS AND GET A JOB.
• Here’s a point of interest that you may like to consider (perhaps during a boring part of a friends funeral). The mackerel, while technically a fish, also inhabits the insect world due to its bossy nature.
• More on The Huntleys nude beach.This place is desolate. On a perfect sunny weekday afternoon about 80 men were assembled.Oh I did see one wife concealed behind a windbreaker. No heterosexual in their right mond would want to strip off here.Its a heck of a way from the centre of Clacton about 5 miles along concrete walkways and really rough sand bog roads. Clacton town is tiny compared to say Brighton.
• I lived in clacton for 25 years and it was great but slowly its getting worse nice place but so glad i escaped its grasp and moved on .HI TO GAV JOEL SIMON BARRY AND MAD MIKE

• Under the big "gas thing", there is an unexploded WWII bomb. It felll from one of the many evil luftwaffe planes and fell straight through the top of the structure. What did the authorites do? They re-sealed it and left it there. Apparently. Ptchah eh, huh huh. What kind of a fool do you take me for?
• Not a good place for a shag
• Not a violent place per se, there is a period every three years or so when wild dogs roam the town centre terrifing locals by barking and panting and sniffing peoples crotches. You have been framed. . .
• Clacton is a place that, whilst here, you will hate and despise. But when the time comes to leave, it becomes inceasingly difficult to drag yourself away from the few genuinely nice people you encounter and the memories they give you. I hope that Clacton never changes. If it does then I fear that society woul suffer greatly. In millions of years time, as Wales sinks ever-more into the sea, Essex, esspesially Clacton, will become the safest place to be. It will tower above the huge atlantic ocean and will be a haven of all that is holesome in the world. Long live Clacton.
• Clacton has got a Paper Mache Hat from the Union Of Fork Handles. It was presented with the model stetson by Utter Gottenberg in 1998 for it's support given to the tiny republic of Whelkia in the 1399 Clacton-Dutch war. Plaistow is nearer Clacton than you think. The band "Paul Caden's Revolvolving Machine Head" (a favourite with John Peel) played their second and third ever gigs in Clacton Town (at the "Warped Sence of Tumour Club")
• Clacton holds it own cheese festival every April, participants are politely reminded to bring their own cheese after the debacle of 1998, when no one brought any cheese of any description and thus there was no Cheese for the festival at all.
• Visit the Local History Room at Clacton Library - its' great
• How about funkiest dance diva
• Truly, Jaywick Sands is the most bizarre place in England and ,quite possibly, the world.
• I read a script by two local writers . It was called Hoggenheimer and was the funniest thing I have ever read. I hjope it gets made into a series real soon

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