The Worst Things in Coleshill, Warwickshire*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

You can tell us more about Coleshill.

• It borders Chelmsley Wood!
• Mark Moss
• THE WORST THING ABOUT COLESHILL IS HAVING CHELMSLEY WOOD NEXT DOOR TO US,THE PLACE IS FULL OF REFUGEES AND THIEVING SCUMBAGS
• mike staunton bookmakers check out the encrusted insects on all the window ledges and sills there it should be closed down now! and also isnt it illegal for him to serve drinks and not have a toilet for public use?
• Evrythin else.
• oh come on now,how long have u got
• Dean Slowly's garden situated on Lichfield Road - its a bit over-crowded to say the least. Or is it just gnomes paradise???
• there is no swimming pool-and most kids have nothing better to do than stand outside tescos waiting for someone to buy fags or spray stuff on really old beautiful buildings.or alternatively get their adrenaline rush by givin it loads to older blokes then run away!
• The speed humps
• the coleshill school
• the rude elderly residents,the rude people generally,the little rudies who are about 12-16 and think they're hard by mouthing off and hanging round in their sad thousands.but we all know that to be fair,they aint gonna be any trouble to anyone cos they shit themselves-the only reason they dont show it is because they're too busy being slags-they really dont think they look bad-i bet they think they're sexy-not the obvious trashy dirty hoars they are.
• the high school
• The person who wrote all the horrid comments about Coleshill. If you hate it so much - MOVE!! And if you already have, good riddance.
• rude boyz, dey come over from the wood n castle brom, dunno y but they are all 10 years old drinkin cider down da park!
• the coffie shop, have you tried the hot chocolate???????!!!!!!!
• The worst thing about Coleshill has to be it's collosal population of 'rudes.' A 'rude' or 'rudie' is a strange creature who has no personal interests or pastimes whatsoever except for the odd bit of vandalism, drug abuse or guzzeling a large amount of alcoholic beverages, (usually cheap cider as that is all their job at somerfield will fund) which usually takes place in the parks of our wonderful town. A hobby of the average rudie is 'tagging,' this generally includes the rudes thinking of an effective code-name for themselves and scarring every clean surface they encounter, an animal-like ritual that is not dissimalar from marking one's territory by urinating over everything). A 'rudie' is easily spotted thanks to their unique dress sense and overall style. The average rude sports a big colourful anorak (all year round), excruciatingly tight jeans in anything but neutral colours, a pair of walking boots graced by pulling their socks over the ends of their trousers and a mobile or two is always glued to their ears. (This is not a stereotype they ALL do look the same). But it is guaranteed you will always hear a rude before you see one, with their demonic babble that is bellowed at 6,000 decobels and feared by all. If you are thinking of moving to Coleshill, please, if you have a weak stomach or cardiac related problems do reconsider as you may not get out alive.
• The pub crawl when you start off at the Wheatsheaf Harvester and end up at the George and Dragon...it is a needless uphill struggle. I have tried to get in touch with Thora Hird to see if she can sell me one of those stairlifts she advertises.
• The sad refugees from Castle Bromwich and Chelmsley Wood who insist on lowering the tone of the town and would most likely be beaten to death in their own neighbourhoods

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Last updated: 2011-01-01