The Knowhere Guide

The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else in Crouch End, Greater London*

The things which can't be categorised

You can tell us more about Crouch End.

The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else
  • The 'Go ds Entrance' sign by the church makes me chuckle every time
  • The YMCA has a decent gym
  • Turns out the Family Stores video has closed.
  • anyone want to set up a walking group? just around the fab parks we have locally?
  • I love Crouch End, for all it's pretentions and silliness. It's a great place to live and the facilities are brilliant. It's accessible and fun and has it's own very special atmosphere.
  • Hussebergs Upholstery - Furniture repaired or hand-made to bespoke design by traditional family business. Also loose covers, cushions etc. Finest quality fabrics and work. Free deliveries and visits locally. Hussebergs 020 8292 1262
  • Watch out for the Greek newsagents/mafia on Hornsey High Street! While not technically Crouch End, on visiting the offy/newsagent opposite "Gizem" and the Railway Tavern, me and a couple of mates were about to buy some vodka, mixer and munchies until it transpired they did not take credit cards. The proprietor and his chum advised us to go across the road to get some cash out. Noting the place across the road would save us about a fiver I phoned my mates to come across to us. We were procuring our goods when said proprietor "happened" across said shop and trundled Greek to the till operators. On "trying" my card I was told it wouldn't work, so was forced to "use" the 1.50 cash machine in addition to the credit card charge and smug smiles all round. Funny how it worked in the ATM. I would have ignored it but for the fact that while we were walking up the road on the opposite side (Railway Tavern side) the original proprietor was on his mobile/dect, pointing at me as I walked on! Scarey shit. The Greek Hornsey High Street mafia are everywhere in Crouch End and seem, coincidentally, to find excuses not to serve me. My money is dirt.
  • there is a small but perfectly formed independent record label based in and around the stroud green/crouch end area. called moshi moshi records it released self-indulgent, lo-fi leftfield pop music for the masses. shambolic but charming. something like twisted nerve, we love you or xl. check out some music and other info at
  • Crouch End is a lovely place to live. I've been here for 13 years and feel very happy. It is a mix of the nicest things of living in London while having enough detachment and country-like qualities for it never to be oppressive.
  • Another famous resident dept. If not a celebrity, nonetheless one of the country's foremost computer games authors Jon Ritman moved in recently.
  • Peter Straub, myster & horror author lived in Crouch End; it was he who introduced Stephen King to the area so he must share the blame for King setting his appaling short story 'Crouch End' here.
  • It is CERTAINLY worth mentioning at least once more that is NOT Muswell Hill.
  • Stephen King's short story "Crouch End" is an H.P. Lovecraft pastiche alleging that the area is the site of one of the portals to the hideous nether dimensions of which Lovecraft was so fond. Trouble is, it's appallingly written - even the name of the main street changes halfway through for no apparent reason.
  • Other literary connections -- in addition to the Stephen King story, there are two Crouch End connections that I know of. The hero of Nick Hornby's High Fidelity lives in Crouch End. And Frank Doel, the real-life book-seller of 84 Charing Cross Road lived on Haslemere Road.
  • Literary reference - In Will Self's North London Book of the Dead, his dead mum doesn't go to Hell or Heaven, but to Crouch End where he bumps into her on Crouch Hill looking at the New Age shops opposite Cherubim & Seraphim. It knocks spots off all but Nick Hornby (to coin a cliche).
  • Hornsey Lane once boasted London's most obscure graffiti - "DORIS ARCHER IS A PRUDE"
  • Hey, I remember that "Doris Archer is a prude" graffiti too, weirdo or what! It's closely matched by the "TOM JONES!!!" on the wall at the bottom of Ferme Park Road. Haringey Council have been scrubbing it away for years now, and every time someone repaints it. It's sort of hard to work out who's more obsessed, the graffiti painter or the council official with the bucket of paint stripper...
  • There is a disused underground tunnel running from the crypt of the Church Studios to the funeral parlour on Crouch End Hill, this was built for reasons of discretion.
  • Good fish shop on the Broadway.
  • Looking to rent somewhere in Crouch End? Contact Traynor and Co - the world's friendliest letting agents!
  • 1.People moving to Hornsey who tell their friends they live in Crouch End. 2.People who are convinced they live in the suburb of "Priory Park", which (a)doesn't exist and (b) is really Hornsey. 3.Estate Agents who claim houses are located in (a)Crouch End or (b)"Priory Park", when they're actually in Hornsey.
  • You said 'as in Dance clubs, not golf clubs'. Well, what about tennis clubs? Crouch End has two. The *unrivalled* Coolhurst Tennis club (and I should know, I've played in dozens over the years), and the less expensive but still very nice Highgate Tennis and Cricket club, which I've yet to play at, but looks nice.
  • Anorak reference: Title track of Fatima Mansions' first album, "Viva Dead Ponies" tells story of Jesus who "sells papers and beer ia a shop in Crouch End". This is not true, and I've checked.

Search Knowhere for something else:


All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: Alan Thomson, aleks, Beth, Zoe, Louisa, andrew, Chris Andrew, Nico Hogg, digsee, james, BJP, Toni, Kathy, Dave Bartlet, simon astrop, jane horwood, lisiy, samson, na westwood, squirrel, Rusty Iron, James Fryer, Lesley Marrio-Cole, Jan Traylen, John Bligh, Jannice, Octavia, Mark Serlin, Rich H, maz, Jon Ritman, Neil Williams, Barnaby, Nick Edwards, John Kelly, Jean-Paul, peyoti, Frances, Huren Marsh, rebecca bramwell, stephen bass, will, jackie, boy george lover- rhiannon, graham, A ntonia Owen, Miranda, jean barton, tony johansen, Brendan Cooper, cate, cam, David, Simon, Andrew Lale, Nicola Nazer, O Hunte, David Martin, Heather, Vinny, juliancole, Judy, julie, Col, Palmer, jules, Nikki Lynch, vikas, Brett Aldgate, tomchristie, Shiv, straadgreeny, Romany, Adrian Essex, dd, Par, generic, nial westwood, daisy, paul tracy, Katie, Simon Bronson, Andy Copeland, Fiona Stow, Antonia Owen, MacEmergency, J Kelley, Pete Marshall, Lesley, Russell, Sarah Harper, John Comber, wilkie, J O'Callaghan, ChrisG, Anna, alan paterson, Omar de la hoya, Ivan O'Pinion, tracy, carrie-anne adams, Justin Keery, Christina Griffiths, victoria, Emma Carson, sm, dawn hopkins, stephan robinson, R, adrian, Jimmy Grant

Last updated: 2009-04-19

More stuff about Crouch End

Sports Shops

The Best Things

Live Music Venues

Recording Studios, Rehearsal Rooms, PA Hire

Cringing Cult of Celebrity

Record Shops

Hookup Spots

Favourite Building

Local Bands

Buskers, Street Entertainers

LAN Parties, Tournaments, LAN Game Cafes, WiFi Meets, PSP/DS Meets

Sports Clubs and Facilities

BMX Trails, Street Spots

Cafes and Coffee Shops


Related Links

Computer and Games Shops

Alternative Lifestyle

Bicycle Shops, Bike Sales and Repairs

The Worst Things

Cheap Food

The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else

Hostels, B&Bs, Hotels, Accommodation

Clubs (Dance Music) and Music Bars

Musical Instrument Shops and DJ Gear

Arts, crafts and such

Magazine and Comic Shops

Skateboarding Spots


Clothes Shops, Shoe Shops, Fashion and Bargains

Demolish It Now Building

Skateboard Shops

Crouch End Knowhere Board

If you are unhappy with any of the content on this page, turn on the flags.

Mail our automatic mailback service at for helpful information and further details of how to contact Knowhere. Thanks.
Knowhere regards your privacy with utmost importance. Read our privacy policy.
Read more about Knowhere.