The Knowhere Guide

The Worst Things in Croydon, Greater London*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

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The Worst Things
  • 'Voices' told killer Ephraim Norman to stab his victim Andrew Else more than 200 times (Croydon Advertiser, Friday 13 February 2015):' Ephraim Norman today pleaded guilty to the manslaughter of Andrew Else, 52, on the grounds of diminished responsibility after doctors agreed the brutal attack had been triggered by his paranoid schizophrenia. Norman followed Mr Else onto a bus and tailed him as he got off in Selsdon Park Road before launching the "savage and unimaginable" attack on April 24 last year, just metres from the victim's home in Woodpecker amount, Forestdale.'
  • Two men from Croydon jailed for 23 years for stabbing property developer to death during Downham robbery (Croydon Advertiser, 8/1/2015):'THREE men who stabbed a property developer to death while trying to rob him of drugs have been jailed for a total of 35 years. Afyon Saint-Hilaire, 22, was ambushed and knifed in the leg in his car after arranging a meeting to sell £450 of skunk cannabis. Shyheim Green, 20, from South Croydon, Lance Sloley, 23, from Thornton Heath and Jordache Smith-Challis, 20, of Brighton, were all convicted of manslaughter and conspiracy to rob by an Old Bailey jury. They were cleared of murder.Sloley and Green were both jailed for 12 years and Smith-Challis was jailed for 11 years for manslaughter.Mr St Hilaire's cousin Mickyle Bromfield, 24, was convicted of possessing a firearm with intent to endanger life and jailed for 10 years.
  • Croydon man in court accused of possessing almost 6,000 indecent images of children (Croydon Advertiser, 30/1/2015):'A CROYDON man has appeared in court accused of possessing almost 6,000 indecent images of children and of making 12 indecent videos, photographs and images of children. Dean Stuart Cook, of Towpath Way, Croydon, did not indicate a plea at the hearing at Croydon Magistrates Court earlier today (January 30), where he appeared charged with possessing indecent videos of children.'
  • Two Croydon youths jailed for stabbing 17-year-old during attempted robbery on a night bus (Croydon Advertiser, 12/1/2015):'TWO Croydon youths have been jailed for a total of 21 years for stabbing a 17-year-old after trying to rob him on a night bus.'
  • Jailed: 'Cowardly' woman who robbed vulnerable 85-year-old in his own home (Evening Standard, 06 February 2015): A stranger (Black Carribean Woman) who blagged her way into an 85-year-old's home, before stealing from her victim as he made her a coffee, has been jailed. Rochelle Palmer (Black Carribean Woman), 25, of Oakfield Road, Croydon, turned up at the pensioner's sheltered housing complex in Eden Road on December 11, asking to use the toilet. When her good-willed victim let her in, police said she asked for a coffee, before stealing bank cards, two rings and £85 cash while he was in the kitchen making the drink. Later that evening she used withdrew £500 cash and made purchases totalling £440 using the stolen plastic, police said. Ten days later, Palmer returned to the elderly man's flat. When he opened the front door, she pushed him to the ground before taking £180 from the coffee table. In total, Palmer stole £1,200 from her vulnerable victim and was sentenced yesterday to 16 months in prison after pleading guilty to theft, fraud by false representation and robbery at Croydon Crown Court.
  • Sixties and after buildings,Philistine mentality.
  • Croydon is a ghetto slum. Especially South Norwood & Thornton Heath
  • you need to distinguish. parts of croydon are chavvy, in town, addington etc yeh straight up chavscum. west croydon onwards towards heath is ethnic not chav. and if you think they are wannabe gangsters down there take a walk down there at night. its a menacing neighbourhood, yeh obv innocents will get started on, but in that part your talking gangs going at each other ready to do some serious damage to each other. the little wannabe jackers can't step onto london road and onwards. it is seriously f**ked up down there.
  • Peoples attitude towards others The rising crime and and incoming "GANGS"
  • Where shall I start......Lunar House thats why Croydon Council have no money its like a one stop shop.Move it to Westminster and let them waste their money.....Dirty Streets.Vast rabble of people, feels like you need a passport to enter some parts of the Town.Groups of young kids who think they are Gangsters, shopping not a good experience any more always have to keep one eye on whats going on around you,Not a safe place at any time. My advice to anyone dont stop just keep moving not even worth a vist.
  • I wish those two staff in East Croydon station who fined me 20 will be burnt to death after raped by each other, then having their bodies eaten by the local dogs!
  • Croydon
  • The sheer volume of chavs and emos. The fact that you can't go there after 8pm at the weekend.
  • chavs. attitude sometimes sucks
  • Being called fat by tossers in England shirts.
  • The revolting smell from Crown Hill KFC.Always makes me want to puke.
  • the crime and robbery.
  • Some of the negative people.
  • NOTHING, i love croydon, i was born and raised there and now i am at uni in plymouth and i cant wait to cum home, CROYDON RULES!!! Except for croydon council, why are they always broke?????????
  • New Addington - the largest council estate in Europe where 80% of residents have a criminal record.
  • Being in croydon in the first place. London is awsome, bunk of croydon n go straight to camden street, its the only place to be now.
  • Cherry Orchard Road (a.k.a. the local rubbish dump). Why is this part of Croydon totally neglected and forgotten? The council claim that someone is persistently nicking the litter bins. That doesn't mean that there's a licence for anyone to throw their rubbish in the street. The council's irresponsibility of allowing another fast food outlet (Burger King at E. Croydon) to open without providing more rubbish bins. Croydon Council's policy of allowing community pubs to be closed while encouraging the growth of corporate bore-bars aimed solely at kids with no taste. There are still ticket touts at East Croydon. How about arresting them rather than threatening with arrest members of the public who dare challenge them?? The idiot passengers who give their tickets to the touts. The prevalence of street drinkers and scroungers. Get them off the streets.
  • nothing. i love croydon man.
  • Its the only place on earth where the Half-witted mutant pikie low life would ram raid the Argos, Elizabeth Duke jewellery Store, because Its the only place on earth where people (blonde haired in-bread six fingered Webb footed tasteless morons) would wear the cheap low value crap they pedal. If you are ever feeling down, just pop to croydon and take a look at the Scum that frequents the place and youll start to feel a whole lot better
  • perell the fairfield rudeboy, muggin, beatin up
  • everyhing
  • Queens Gardens, now it has been taken over by the alkies, druggies and dossers. Extremely unpleasant and at times threatening, even by day!
  • Where can we start. It's Croydon, it's concrete, it's ugly, It's pikey, it's your worst nightmare. Try and be different get severly dismembered. The constant fear of using any kind of technology from the last 10 years and the result of mugging if you do.
  • The Blacks.
  • Walking from West Croydon end of the town centre to South Croydon end without being started on/mugged on a fri/sat night. Mind you if your in west croydon after dark to begin with you are brave indeed its boyz n the hood territory there.
  • Place is full of criminal kosovans, wanna gangstas and kids who act like Blazin Squad
  • alld a grannyz n grandpaz
  • West croydon train station and bus garage. especially around 4pm when u have the lairy school kids who seem twice ur height and all carry a knife!
  • selected litten tree staff
  • All the guys going out in Croydon look as if they have been cloned in some secret place. Step in shoes with useless buckles on it that make them look like car-salesmen and their shirts are ALWAYS hanging over their trousers, one hand in the pocket, walking like bouncers. The girls have a general lack of style and seem to have a cloth-size judging problem. Police & ambulance crew are part of the street furniture. Normal Croydon citizens go out in London. Do the same.
  • Riddled with drug & booze generated violent crime. Often historical buildings are flattened overnight seemingly without thought. West Croydon can stink of sweat, fast food, beer, vomit, urine, and sewers
  • The fuckin rude-boys and also the white kids wearin caps
  • Kids hanging around annoying everybody, 'cos they have bugger all else to do. School days at West Croydon bus station at home time. Graffiti, litter, general scruffiness of the roads/streets Far too many pubs in too small an area, all fighting (literally !!!) for the same custom Taxi touts outside the clubs, ticket touts outside East Croydon, local alcholics generally blocking the pavement and pissing where they feel like near West Croydon train station Dixon's/PC World/Curry's : Majority of staff are just sales robots and haven't a clue (not all, just most) The road system is a nightmare around central Croydon/Croydon College, you have got to know the roads otherwise you really are screwed, its way too easy to stray into an unauthorised zone and get a whacking great £100 fine for straying into a bus lane, too easy to drive down the tramline around East Croydon, belive me it happens all the time, I've seen it The council spend far to much time on parking enforcement, and not enough on improving Croydon residents overall outlook on the town, not city I add, it failed in that bid AGAIN, and I work for the council... boooooooo hissssss
  • It is full of irretating youths who get in your way and shout out rude comments to you!
  • Too many niggaz.
  • the wannabe gangsters (hooded tops over baseball caps etc), the fact that if you're a girl you can't walk a few yards without some crude sexist comment or wolf whistle, the lads who spit on the street, the litter, the dangerously bad driving, the shootings/stabbings outside certain bars, the fact that every bar and club is a horrible place to go where you get treated like a piece of meat (can't we have a quiet drink without some comment? even the slightly better places suffer from this), the fact that people can't seem to go out without getting plastered and acting in a threatening way, the fact that you just can't feel safe on the street.....i could go on but i should probably stop whining.
  • Pigeons, parking fines, expensive car parks,
  • Lousy TV reception in parts of Croydon....and as for the council tax !!!!!!
  • The shops that attract all the townies and kevs and pikeys who think they rule the shopping centre with their Nike trainers and Reebok and "bling bling" accessories and white trackies who shout at me and surround me in their stupid loser groups just because I'm not one of them. I'd never want to be one of them!! Ever!! Also, the only real entertainment is watching the few proper skaters between the Fairfield Halls and Croydon College. Croydon is boring.
  • Croydon is all that is evil
  • Ticket touts always lurking around east croydon - especially the older guy who sometimes seems to hang around with small boys (ugh) and the weedy guy who spat at my girlfriend. Do something, Connex!
  • the constant fear of being mugged tends to annoy me a bit after a while
  • The crime rate. The general morons and white trash you get on the high street. But I am a generally hateful person. Also, it pisses me off that a THIRD shopping centre has been added. Capitalist pigs!!!!
  • West Croydon
  • If you want to either get shot, gang raped, beaten, glassed, bottled, mugged, stabbed, knifed or be involved in a hit and run incident by beema driving tossers, then Croydon town centre on a Friday or Saturday night is the place to be!
  • All of the girls in croydon wear plsters on their feet, which consequently get soggy and hang off- most unatractive-with their cheap high street shoes. Don yer trainers and head to the black sheep, and leave yer manky stilletoes at home!
  • too many muggers - they are such dickheads! when will someone tell them that just because they walk with a bop it does not give them a right to mug us poor sexy chicks - my mate also got...
  • Trying to get from West Croydon Station/Bus Station to East Croydon Station for trains, if you dont know the area then you are screwed cos u get lost if u walk, you have to change trams to get there, and the buses never seem to come.] Also trying to use West Croydon Bus Station on schoolday afternoons with little kids and big kids running around (and hooligans!).
  • the 100% chance of getting mugged at least twice a year, peoples bad attitudes, blue orchid, the tram
  • nothing to do
  • The general threatening feeling in many areas; appalling chain/theme bars
  • The architecture
  • groups of well dodgy looking kids hanging around by mcdonalds on the high street
  • Scummy kids vandalising everything. Grow up will you! Go and watch TV, or listen to your 'sounds'.
  • too many muggers in gangs, particularly in west croydon. lots of filthy tramps asking you for money. loads of windows and bus stop panes of galss have been smashed by yobs and drunken pikies.
  • Wimbledon "Football" Club
  • Croydon is THE ugliest example of that horrible 60's "brave new world" architecture that looked fine at the time, but very, very wrong now. Croydon is also the spiritual homeland of that the kev/townie. If you like guys with shaved heads in designer sportswear that hang around shopping centres and get kicked out of pubs, the come to Croydon.
  • 10 year olds getting drunk and trying to start on you between west croydon and the realative safety of east croydon.
  • Munters, Croydon
  • Seems to be more rif-raf in Croydon these days, too many drunks looking for a fight.
  • The muggings, and the people who shout at you if you're wearing a trench coat
  • Trying to drive anywhere near the town centre unless you are from here and know EXACTLY where you are going.
  • Kevs with shaved heads, in YSL shirts and black trousers that sneer at you when they come out of the pubs. Rudeboys (innit!)- Croydon is their spiritual homeland and The Whitgift Centre is their temple.
  • Anything North of Allders. West Croydon is a total no-go area. South Croydon is much safer.
  • two of the best music venues were cloed down -one of them the ever popular Rawnsleys wine bar. And the amount of violence.
  • Lots of french-cropped, Ben Sherman-wearing lads and ugly 'slayyygs' with too much make-up on and a suspicious bump in their bellies. Just about every place plays either 80's pop or garage. If you like house or indie or basically anything else you're probably fucked.
  • The fact a chap can't get into a town centre pub unless he's wearing shoes!
  • It stinks.
  • the smell in west croydon
  • Croydon's Cycling Officer and his crap cycle lanes
  • The Vandals, or the gangs of teenagers who think they're hard.
  • The groups of teenagers that wonder around the town looking for someone to maim. If you see one, turn around and RUN! The Graffitti thats been splattered inside the trams and all over nearly everything, including churches. Is nothing sacred?
  • Knowing everytime I go Croydon with my other half we end up going home separate due to silly little sods that want to fight or little tarts that think it's alright to come on to someone else boyfriend!!
  • Granaries nightclub- you want trash? You got it here- in abundance.
  • the road leading out.........
  • Not enough Detached Youth workers to cover such a vast area.
  • Having lived in Croydon all my life(24 yrs) i have discovered through travelling that Croydon is the most unfriendly place on the face on the planet. The locals are all miserable arseholes and the traffic is mind boggling. As a despatch rider for a year on holiday from uni it was a well known fact that the one place that a bike courier hates to go was Croydon. At night large groups of males can be found out being rowdy. The architecture is appauling. The women are classless slags. The police are brutal.
  • Arsehole bouncers outside bars. Rowdy locals. Attitude problem of the average male youth whos uniform is the reebok classic, black jeans and bright shirt usually ralph loren with the manditory ear ring.
  • Whitgift centre security guards have huge chips on shoulders and seem to be a law to themselves, too many people out to cause trouble on a weekend. (Lots of kids fighting for the following reasons,over girls, spilling pints, looking at someone the wrong way, speaking to them........list is endless)
  • People from Croydon still think they live in Surrey, even though it became part of Greater London 25 years ago. (It's actualy within the M25!)
  • Crowds of drunk teenagers roaming the streets at night. Too many cars.

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Last updated: 2015-02-06

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