Clubs (Dance Music) and Music Bars in Ely, Cambridgeshire*

Where to go to get down

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• Here's a run down of Ely's Nightlife: (Tried and Tested) Club Zest - a small club on the edge of the city centre, on fore hill. commercial house, trance and r'n'b. maybe a bit hostile to outsiders as there is a clique of regulars but its what you make of it. free student cards issued otherwise about £2-£6. seating "chill-out" room out the back, small but aways packed dance floor, served quickly at the bar about £3 a pint and £3 all bottles, wine, slush cocktails. young crowd on a friday, abit older on a saturday. friday definatly the main night to go. basically a happy-go-lucky club. known to be a bit rough but generally for those looking to fight, otherwise you won't be bothered. no nonsense doorstaff!! not easy to pull strangers as everyone knows everyone and each group has their own spot. generally no real dress code, although if you fix up - look sharp you'll stand out and have a better chance of a bit of 'how's your father.' the place hums of smoke, and you'll stink the next day. best place to pull is the back room, no-body is stuck-up so everyone has a chance. plenty of parks round-about afterwards for a bit of drunken filth. basically you either love it or hate it. it's worth a try and you'll soon know everyone. the only place to go in the town after 11pm. trying to get a 4am licence. the town house - good time for over 45's but it's the same disco tunes week in week out in the same order, very small and boring. pure has shut down, although trying to re-open. the herewood is the now the pre-club pub, a big new barracuda owned pub on market street. west end pub - top place, althogh in the st. johns estate, abit of a treck from centre. cheap booze in the beat club with pool and darts, but menbers only. deans USA style pool club (newnham street) - a quality pre-club bar, good laugh all week usually busy. the high flyer - busy pub and restaurant, quality booze, outside summer seating. the kings arms - rough as drug den. same old faces, dog shite, miserable faces and fights. minster - popular with 40's and upper class kids. the standard and all other bars/pubs - generally for locals and away form the city centre. newmarket and cambride not too far but really expensive (especially taxi transport £60 return.) but a good night should be had in ely, stick to deans, the herewood then onto zest. should be a top night. see you friday kids!!
• five or six with al at deans maybe one in the flyer.Then onto the townhouse to have several with debbie and vince.RESULT slaughtered within quarter of a mile,sorted.
• Club Zest is possibly the worst club in the U.K. If you manage to get past the jack boot, bomber jacket wearing, flat topped bouncers then your in for a treat. These power hungry individuals take great pleasure in being unhelpful, rude and aggressive. Im sure 'security' is employed to ensure that everyone is safe and trouble is averted. Hmmm, Club Zest seems to be the exception to this rule!!! Lets hope when bouncers need to be licensed this will stop. Once inside the door, u get to choose from a large selection of beers. However every beer tastes the same, and usually comes with a 4cm head. The beer is extremely expensive, a bottle is £2.95! Now fair enough to pay that in London, but a club in Ely! If you can stomach the flat tasteless beer then you may be able to dance to the cheesy music that Bar Zest has too offer. Im sure that the same DJ has been playing the same tunes at exactly the same time week in week out for the last 4 years. The sound system provides a distorted tinny sound, that may leave you with ringing in your ears for several days. Remarkably young patrons is an understatement. Dress respectably and you may be I/D'd. If you do get I/D'd and dont have it with you, then you may hear theme tune to 'The Great Escape' ringing in your ears. Females are ensured entry by wearing short skirts and low cut tops. It is an incredibly smoky club, u could cut a passage through the smoke with a knife it is so thick. It's the 1st time ive ever woken up smelling like an ashtray! The toilets are extremely small and quite dirty. I recommend thick soled shoes if you dont want to get your feet wet! Also remember to take your toilet roll as the one provided is usually in the toilet bowl or stuck to the ceiling in balls. A scene reminiscent of the film 'Trainspotting' comes immediately to mind. Club Zest also insists that you pay to put your coat or jumper in the cloakroom. A friend of mine was unaware of this, and went to the bar to get himself a drink. The bouncer insisted that he put his jacket in the cloakroom, but as he was only staying for a short period he said he would wear his jacket. At this point the bouncer became very aggressive and threatened to 'take him outside'. This obviously encourages a great atmosphere in the club. To be honest ive seen a better atmosphere at a funeral. The local patrons seem to have the 'f*ck or fight' attitude, so i recommend leaving by around 12.30 when most of the females leave, or you may find yourself spending your weekend in Accident and Emergency. Club Zest also tends to be very territorial, so if your not a 'local' or your face dont fit, then be careful, you dont want to end up in A & E. I also find the interior quite dirty, u tend to stick to the floor when walking, indicating that perhaps the floors are not cleaned of the beer, blood and sick from the previous week. This review may sound very negative, but to be honest the only good thing i can say about Club Zest that at least its only open two nights a week!
• There's an ok club called Zest just over the road from Woolworths (think of the possibilites!)
• Pure sometimes
• Pure is defo the place to be now. cheap drinks durin the week and loads ov class events like comedy nites and kareokes. a mint laugh on a friday and saturday, bangin house music, mint atmosphere and packed out crowd!
• The town house is alrite, there are mint lookin bar staff and its now open til 1am on a weekend, its directly opposite the kebab/pizza shop, zest is shite, same old (and i mean old) tunes and ugly sweaty spotty faces. £1.50 a pint in the minster during the week, but the quiz is too hard and the owners a tit who thinks hes funny. the standard is fulla old smelly men but its easy to get served ere iv under 18. nowt to do but drink, but nowhere to drink so everyone turns out lookin ugly, go to ely iv u want to see ugly posh people. pure has a crap atmosphere (too bright), expensive drinks, and lack ov dancin.
• Lava lounge
• There is finally going to be a nightclub opened, next to the Town House.

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Last updated: 2008-10-14