The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else in Falmouth, Cornwall*

The things which can't be categorised

You can tell us more about Falmouth.

• Don't cut people up driving. They probably will either a/ Ram you off the road or b/ Follow you home and beat you up. Don't say we didn't warn you....The police don't care either so don't think ringing them will produce any sort of responce. They will be eating pasties. They dont like to be disturbed. Don't say oohhh arrr in a fake cornish accent. It's not funny or original and the waitress WILL piss in your drink. If you do this and are blatently from london, someone will hit you eventually. Don't drive down country lanes at 10 mph just because it has bends in it unless you want to become a victim of road rage. It really p*sses off those of us who are already late for work. Don't drive your chavved up nova at 100 mph down country lanes just because you saw it in Fast and the Furious. You will meet someone else overtaking another tourist on a bend cos they were doing 10 mph. Or a horse. Or some germans having a picknick on a hairpin bend, (that happens). You will live approximately 10 miles. Sad but true. We want you to come back again. Find a happy medium... Don't stare through my cottage window and say how much you want to buy my house. Its not for sale and you can't afford it. Don't bring a caravan to cornwall. At all. Ever. Please. For what you paid for it you could probably have stayed in 5 star hotels for the rest of your short life - you are old after all. Leave it in the trailer park. Thank you. Do please be polite. We are sick of people who can't even manage to be nice to staff in shops and bars. You are embarrasing yourself. A simple smile and some manners would be nice. Don't go to Rick Steins W*nky expensive diner in Padstow. Get some local fish and chips. It is the same fish but it tastes nicer as it's £50 cheaper. Don't move here. There are NO decent jobs. Except mine and I want to keep it, thanks. Spend some time just chilling. Try a real pasty. Be nice to us and we will be extra nice to you. Enjoy your holiday!
• Jewellery shops: I discovered a real treasure of a jewellers when I last holidayed in Falmouth. The shop is called Oceana Jewellers and it's located within St. George's arcade on Falmouth's main shopping street. What I liked about this shop was the variety on show - stuff from about £5 up to many thousands! The jewellery was a bit different too - many unusual designs, not at all like the chain store jewellers. I came away with several items of gem set silver jewellery for under £50!
• Falmouth Week is on usually in the second week in August, excellent fun, town packed. Big nights organised everyday of the week (Also a chance to piss off some of the old fun-hating toffs!)
• If you are thinking of coming down here for a college course spend the cash to get a really nice place. If it looks crap it's probably much worse. Everyone lives on Killigrew St, Marlboroudh Rd or around there. Landlords will step on you. Don't pay, or agree to pay, the water rates. You don't have to. Buy a gun.
• Lets evict the townies and send them to lewisham, were they will last 2 minutes.
• be careful of the wankers who run the video shop called transatlantic in the high street
• go to the porn star nights at the pirate.
• well there r lots of good skating roads, 'fenwick road' 'gyllngavase hill ' 'the boardwalk' 'melvill road' there is just a kewl atmosphere in summer in falmouth, helped by the art students and the surfer/skate attitude! come 2 falmouth!
• Falmouth is wixked in the summer on a sunny day when u go to the beach, and has a kewl atmosphere, but in the winter, with no money or things 2 do, its dire, but stick wiv it!
• The main high street should have been pedistainised years ago, these tiny little pavements and cars zooming past all the time, its a pain in the arse! if you need the tolit go to a cafe dont use the public ones they ming! considering how many U.S. tourists we get from the crusise ship u'd think the council would do something, they must think theyre coming to the third world!

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Last updated: 2008-10-14