The Worst Things in Gourock, Inverclyde*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

You can tell us more about Gourock.

• Avoid the Darroch Park - Tommy Haggerty should not be trusted around children.
• The old bigoted cunt who runs the Wherry. He should be shot. To death.
• I just hate that Original Artist shop, it is so expensive for what you get I don't know how its still going!
• The worst thing about staying in Gourock is that KIRN DRIVE has yellow coated, spineless, gossips! who are not brave enough to put their name to their whingeing, pathetic letters asking others to do their bidding. I know who you are!!! and i'm not frightened of COWARDS!
• The Darroch Bar (formally MacGregor Lounge), new name same crap. Should be pulled down with the neds still in it. Saw a cracking blues band - Springfield Blues - in there, but spoilt by the usual neds and poor staff. Call it a day Stephen and close the place !
• NOW ME I COULD SOLVE MOST THE PETTY CRIMES THAT WAS ME WE SILLY BOY COULD NOT PUT A PRICE ON THAT IN THE 19EIGHTS
• Watching local councillors come out of the wood work when there is an occasion for a freebee
• It's as limited as anywhere else really. No majors things.
• The Greenock Telegraph in its new format
• Neds, neds, neds and Kempock Jim's patter
• The Old Bay Hotel and the coup up Drumshantie & Kirn Drive.
• Reading some comments on this website makes me wonder what the mentality is in Gourock. It reads as being very sad, don't people have anything else to do but drink, use dope and whinge. Yes I was a kid when I left Gourock but even then it appeared to be a decent place to live. I am sad after reading this rot. And yes Gourock has the best views across the Clyde. I lived in Midton as a kid before coming to Australia and can remember the river views. When I returned for a holiday after 32 years I stood at the Bowling Club and looked over the river to the Lyle Hills and cried my heart out, it felt so good to be home. I will be back some day to visit where I was born and hope the mentality in the town has improved by then.
• now't
• Being sober wen aw eh mob r wrecked
• HAVING YOUR CHIPS STOLEN BY GILLIE AT THE SPINNAKER!!! HE DOESNT EVEN NO ME!!! SUCH A CHEEKY CHAPPIE - DOES LOVE HIS CHIPS THOUGH!
• PAUL DEENEY HE IS A JUNKIE FUCK N WE UR AW GOINI CAVE HIS HEED IN BUT A DUNNO WER WE LIE IN AE LIST A CUNTS AT WANT TAE JUNKIE MUTHA FUCKA
• daft wanna a be GIMPS yes use all daft wee goffs n skaters fuck yer skate park its a state am goini smash a couple a head ae gether on it lol
• poofy skaters n goffs hinkin ere goin wae ae flow wen ere relly jist makin arses o ere self
• Thomos Haggerty, darroch park gardener, sly and unable to tell the truth, never leave a young girl around him.........
• Inhabitants are all in-bred. Ever seen "Deliverence"? Filmed in Midton with the locals.
• The Vic shuts Sundays.
• E WEE MAVY N WEST
• Dog shit in the park and the weather
• The Granny Kempock is just a giant stone dildo for some randy medievil peasant.And that is 'the most interesting' thing about gourock.......bullshit!!! Gourock is a town of constant sex & drugs & rock'n'roll !! Rock on all Gourockians!!
• being told by gourockians you dont come fae here efter living there fur dunkys yeaRS
• demise of the cafe, lack of ice-cream sodas, middgies, dog shit on the beach, the christmas decorations, the delapatated pier, Gourock High School's inabaility to mature gracefully.
• You are young...but you will learn...
• Too many wide-os Snogging under the pier to wake up next day with seaweed covered clothes - rank!
• the goths and skanks they should die they call neds not normal one day they'll look back to their childhood and realiese how gay and weird they looked
• The nick o the cloch road surface. Once a place for high speed knee down action. Now a place unsuitable for mopeds!
• absoluty shit loads of the lovely young kappa wearing chaps we all call neds!
• i hate neds and wannibe goths/ scanks /confused assholes
• Weather!
• The big polis cameras, no more fighting or boysterousness...
• Karaoke style singers eg I remember being outside the Firth one hot Summers night - the midges there did start to bite - so I went inside for some respite - but the music therein was so shite - I was again forced back out into the night. The conclusion is that it's better to get eaten alive than listen to karaoke.
• Blacky Pet Lover fae the Kirn Drive. This woman absolutely adores stray pets, namely the hawf deid squaashed variety. I don't know what she does with them all, I think she cooks them up and eats them. She has been known to screech like a witch, beware all you pet owners. This woman will adorn your Telegraph, and complain about anything, namely cars speeding on the Kirn. I only hope that the firefighters whom she alledges speed, pay heed when her smelly pet sanctuary goes up.
• The McGregor any night specialised clientelle, fancy a black eye?
• AT ONE POINT ALL THE GUYS ARE GOING TO TURN OUT TO BE EITHER JUNLIES..ALKIES......OR DEAD IF THEY ALREADY ARNT!! AND THE ALL NEED TO DO SOME SERIOUS GROWIN UP
• Cleats, its a real Hun shop!
• the people who live there
• Getting a kicking from drunken neds for laughing at them.
• 2nd Gourock Boys' Brigade The Scouts Our connection to Dunoon and our proximity to Greenock and the Port The neds The Glen
• NEDS
• The weather, the tide goes out No ski slope in Gourock quarry as promised Lack of good slipways
• Lack of any decent employment! The winter weather- Rain, no Snow too close to the sea!
• trying tae negotiate Kennedys steps after the pub crawl.Gettin lost in the west woods,tryin tae take ashort cut hame after the pub crawl
• posh stuck up toffs. people in off-road vehicles.
• A lot of Gourokians make it their business to know yours whether you like it or not.
• The rain, waiting at the bus stop for a bus in wet, damp weather.Trying to 'walk' down Fletcher Ave and Drumshantie road in the ice
• Gourock is a great 'wee' place...I'm from Greenock...and well...always preferred socialising in Gourock...not nearly as shady as Greenock...
• The sad Ned's who roam the streets thinking they're mental your not. The Sad Squad that means you and all the others who go down the glen or down Gourock thinking they run the damn place. GET A LIFE YOU SAD 21 yearold STEAMERS
• The Neds there's so many you wouldn't believe it. The all have really sad gang names I won't bore you with details. The train station it smells. No night clubs we have to go to Greenock and run the risk of being bumped by the resident junkie.
• No Gianni's on sundays
• neds at night
• The run down shacks at Ashton!
• The Vic shuts on Sundays.
• Needs some clubs
• The worst is the lack of facilities for tourists. There are almost no cafes and small tearooms left.
• The weather, it's terrible.
• The fish and chips from The Wee Chippy.
• Bus service - dies in the evening
• 11pm curfew in pubs! weather sucks
• The stupit Yellow Teapot thing on the Pier head.
• The Chinese restaurant Cathay Princess...great food but lousy service!
• The quarry at the Tower Hill now filled in, very smelly.

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Last updated: 2011-06-08