The Worst Things in Guildford, Surrey*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

You can tell us more about Guildford.

• the one way system and parking the traffic on the A3 every afternoon at the cathedral turn.
• The only obviously bad thing about Guildford that comes to mind is the expensiveness of houses here.
• Chavs & the skag addicts n the top floor of leapale road, on thursday nights chav gatherings with car boots, booming drum & bass, & trading of illegal items. The harrasing hobos, always looking for a nice young girl to bump, for a couple of lines.
• bloody pikies!!!! low lives!!! chavs!!!....reeboik track bottoms and face up caps
• the vast amount of pikeys
• All the Chavs with their bling bling cruising around like they deserve everyone's admiration. NEWSFLASH - Your NOT big and your NOT clever (by any stretch of the imagination)
• the police and fukin security who move u of sitting in the highstreet!!
• tormead
• I checked this site out a year ago to see what it was like to live in Guildford. Just in case anyone's considering it: Im moving as soon as I can, because I DO have a soul and I DON'T like inhaling carbon monoxide.
• the witch.
• Screaming kids
• The fact that you have to earn about £50k to buy a house but the governent have decided that Guildford is too affluent to provide affordable housing assistance....If that is the case why am I in £15k of debt and I didn't even go to Uni!! Ridiculously overpriced and Council is full of fuddy duddys that don't have a clue what younger people want or need. Soon Guildford will be a retirement town as no one under the age of 60 will be able to afford to live here...I mean £100k for a STUDIO flat. you gotta be shittin me!
• Mouthy kids in baseball caps who think they have the right 2 comment on what your wearing. They also like 2 hang out in the bus station and see how much they can spit on the floor in one place, mmmmm. Oh yeah, they also like 2 scrounge fags off u.
• the wannabe skaters, the wannabe punks, the aggresive teeny boppers
• Edwards pub
• these irritating little townies who come up to plantation all the time to start fights they can't finish and generally cause amusmant and hassle
• Workshy idiot's at Scruffy's (RIP)
• the fact that most of the teenages there think there world will end if they cant have the 100 quid pair of shoes that mumy wont buy them! sorry i know this isnt true of everyone im sure there is some one i havnt met who doesnt have this atttude
• offically the most ezpensive town in the UK
• the fake dealers who sell grass from their gardens to 12-year-olds who just don't know any better....and all the pikeys, who must be squished like flies, and the health shop in the friary that smells weird
• Everyone has more money than me, loads of jags and mercs. not much really though. oh and uneven pot hole roads.
• People who dis-Guildford.
• police station. Theres a great three set and six set there, but I've only mangaged to skate them twice
• All the fuckin' pikeys, townies, rudeys, garys, kevs, whatever you wanna call them, they should be shot in the face. All the old twats who think my rolly is a spliff. The coppers for assuming teenager=guilty. The Slipknot kids
• Growing up in an area populated by only two kinds of people: rich arsey wankers who don't even say hello to their next door neighbours who they've lived next door to for about 10 years, and people who see wankers like that everyday and grow enormous chips on their shoulders wishing they had that kind of money (uncultured, poorly educated dickheads who just want to fight you to show how hard they're not). The fact that the difference between those who have (ie: the rich) and those who have not (ie: the not so rich)is greater in Guildford than anywhere else in the country, and all of the sad porblems that engenders. The fact that a lot of people from Guildford probably don't understand the word 'engenders'!
• NOT MUCH other that weather (cant help that!)
• This is the most awful place to live - get out now while you still can. My depression started to lift once I'd escaped.
• Arrogant wealthy tosspots that make Porshes and BMW's look commonplace! It's not a class thing - it's a taste thing!!!
• townies - twats from the scum bag estates, the way that you think a place is safe and then you get attacked by a bunch of inbred 15 year olds... Guildford is just turning all bad...
• Erm.. there is a growing number of sporty faced people.. but ist ok, wel get rid of them... plus when you hit 16 you get a marvellous change into someone who wants to go pubbing and you change your clothes.. and then pub it.
• All the twats that appear in Guildford on a Friday/Saturday night and all get kicked out of Edwards/Yates'/Bar Med/Wetherspoons at the same time The pubs don't open late enough, but this is a country wide problem.
• Avoid Guildford town centre like the plague during school holidays if you are over 25. I have no choice as this is my place of work. Kids hanging about EVERYWHERE, sitting down in the middle of busy pavements en masse. PAH! When I woz a lad...mumble, groan, gripe...etc....
• Sad small-minded snobs who judge young mothers. They have just as much right 2 b in the town as we do so get ur hedz out of ur arses and get a life!
• Why is such a beautiful town in such beautiful countryside filled with so many upper class, arrogant, wankers? Just so this message stays short- do yourself a favour. MOVE!!!!!!!
• Parking
• If you're not young, loaded with makeup, with a fag in one hand and a mobile phone in the other and your belly button showing - oh and pushing a pram - you're just not "hip" enough to hang out in Guildford.
• So many small town pricks with such a major chips on thier shoulders- Get a life. The whole of park barn- such peasantry shouldn't be allowed to breed. The saddest selection of Kevs, Trevs and Garys with the shittest cars known to man cruising relentlessly around the circuit, why, oh why do you bother?! Guilf is actually a very violent place when the pubs shut. Move to London.
• the red tape and back stratching at the council, RE: nightclubs etc.
• FINDING SOMEWHERE TO SIT! IN THE SUMMER IF YOU CANT BE BOTHERED TO SIT DOWN AND EAT BECAUSE OF QUES ETC. SO YOU DECIDE TO BUY SOME FOOD FROM A SHOP. IT IS A NIGHTMARE TO FIND SOMEWHERE TO SIT DOWN OUTSIDE AND EAT. THE SEATS AVAILABLE ARE EITHER TAEN UP BY PEOPLE ALREADY OR COVERED IN BIRD POOH!
• The circle, Noddy who is constantly cycling around, the puffa jacket parade, the circuit, the smell in bedford road carpark, lack of places to go after 2am, the prices in some of the bars, The Drink, the creepy Fisherman tramp, the one way system, the car parking, the upperclass fucked up attitudes, the snobbery, the spectrum. The one murder in my memory of Ashley a 17yr old girl brutally killed, may she rest in peace.
• The cobbles on the High Street - too out of date.
• Too far from Basingstoke.
• Look out for Noddy (local celeb)on his bike!(usually found Bridge Street & the one way system in a nice anorak. Allegedly his father has got a Ferrarri while it is rumoured that his mobile phone is a toy)
• look out for the old indian man in the bus station. he takes photos of buses all day, and when he took the film in to be developed at my friend's shop, they discovered one photo right at the end of this old dude dressed up in a bikini and suspenders...
• The terrible fact that the fisherman has lost misplaced his fisherman's hat and is now sporting a flat-cap made out of KFC plastic bags. Nice.
• gary's down by Burger King on a Fri/Sat nite barking at us
• The total extortionist landlords who prey on the poor (VERY POOR with tuition fees) students charging rents that would bankrupt Bill Gates!
• Scruffy Murphies
• no decent variety of places to go dancing. far too expensive to live here.
• I find the very worst thing about Guildford (read: the whole of Surrey) is that no venues are ever granted licenses to open later than 2 am. The Guilfin/Coalition gigs at the Civic were great, if you like sharing the dancefloor with 15yr olds that just go there to pull other 15yr olds, and then being kicked out on to the streets at 1 am, just when you're getting in to the swing of things. Surrey Constabulary treat party people like sh*t. Do what I did - move to another part of the country where people's heads aren't so far up their arses.
• shit for skating
• Dodgy bloke with the green puffer jacket that is usually in the circle. AVOID!!!!!!! Also don't slag off the heather seller.
• Allsorts newsagent, they won't sell fags to anyone below the age of 30.
• At times it seems not much more than a wealthy shoppers paradise.
• The trendies sometimes take the piss.
• Worst thing about Guildford for me is not the trendies but the absolute lack of a decent night club (I have found the Guildford night clubs to be chart-hits, arseholes with attitude & a lot of over-priced beer).
• The traffic - busy roads ruin the town and split the High Street from the River. Also the prices of property and land which mean that any slightly altenative uses for buildings eg clubs art centres etc are usually economically unviable.
• Parking
• Traffic
• One-way system
• Teenage tossers driving their cars round and round the town every Thursday, Friday, Saturday night.
• Crappy acts at the Civic Hall.
• House prices
• All the bloody people that walk through the station wearing Addidas button up tracksuit bottoms.
• Beware the heather sellers.
• The cctv cameras tend to see everything you do.
• rain, headaches, grazes, amputations, tom clayton, rave, adidas button up tracksuit bottoms, tropical milkshakes at maca d's, fires, natural disasters, pain, death, destruction, evil, god, time, old people, dogs, cats, hamsters, any animal esp. horses, shouty girls, esp......CLAIRE AND MARS ATTACKS KNOWN AS ELLE bitches.... catherine collette, neil with his 2 litre of crappy cider.....you'll see him at the station all the time, little shitty skaters, twats, police, bouncers, tickets collecters, kebab vans, and men, badminton, cricket, golf, fishing and running, joggingm darts, any sport that involves exercise, school, godalming college, this morning, that loud bloke at smiths, the twatty bloke at smiths in the high street, winos, robbie, smelly robbie, scottish bloke, scotish people, those two bolkes who just came out of prison, football fans, forehead, football, the castle, hmv, ice disco, spectrum, the new ticket machine tingy at guildford station, park barn, fuckers, mopeds, beetles, people thazzt ride mopeds, you who's reading this...twat, ruth, maybe, nah, yea, redwood, backline: cause they love hyena, they've been taken over by r3edwood stickers, they have crummy partice areas, your not allowed to break anything, poeple with beards, long ones, civic hall for not allowing splatch, wankers, farnham road car park, gemma, even though she bought me a pint, sadie, carol picket, bald bloke in sound barrier who hit phil cause he told him to fuck off and stuck his middle finger up at him, secruity waitress in roof garden, bitch, style union, east west, vinegar and brown paper, royal bar: the most greasist green infested chis you could ever imagine esp. battered sausages....everything is fucking GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Walking up the bloody hill to the Three Pigeons when your pissed
• I hate everything about Guildford, there are too many mobile phones and narrow minds for my liking.
• Gyratory System and the getting worse buses thanks to Arriva!
• The worst thing about Guildford is it is full of young people and those of us 35+ have great difficulty finding partners.
• The Trevs and Sharons in their souped-up Ford Escorts. The lack of anywhere decent to go after hours. The useless public transport service (if, like me, you live out of town, you might have to leave the pub before 10pm just to get the last bus.

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Last updated: 2009-12-21