Pubs in Harlow, Essex*

The place to go for a lazy afternoon, pub quiz or last call

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• The Greyhound pub in the Park has the greatest value freshly cooked chef food ever-go there soon!
• No, don't even consider it, just keep driving. (Although The Hare is decent for grub) I've lived near the Archers Dart for years, and it's a magnet for trouble (unless that guy who tried to drive his car through the front door the other night was just desperate for a pint...naa) The Jean Harlow was pretty rough, and some of the clientele were so "FRESH FACED" their voices hadn't even broken, and the Heart and Club reminded me of some of the dodgiest dives I've frequented in Dublin. Although, put some of this Harlow rabble in a Dublin pub and they'd be taken apart without much fuss) Generally, Harlow pubs are full of knuckle-dragging degenerates looking to either start a row or get their leg-over, steer well clear. (Moorhen by the Stort river is ok though)
• Archer's Dart. Refined. Elegant. A certain je ne sais quois. Well I do know, but its charm must remain secret.
• Almost all of them are a real laugh, but you've gotta know how to fight or you've gotta be a good runner.
• The Drinker Moth is a fine example of a traditional English country pub, set in beautiful gardens. It offers a range of real ales and various forms of entertainment...oh ok, I can't keep it up, I'll be honest with you. It's a late 1960s/early 1970s brick monstrosity in an area that, had it have been around in the 1940s and been hit by German bombs, would have been dramatically improved. It sells warm lager, with Fosters - the Drinker Moth's Fosters always tastes like cigarette ash for some reason - being particularly popular. Entertainment is limited to glassing anybody who looks like they might be homosexual/foreign/Jewish or anything else other than a white heterosexual meathead. Having said all that, it was a mecca for bored children back in the late 1970s, when it had a very fierce alsatian dog that lived on the roof. Kids from miles around to flock to the area in order to steal sticky toffees from the old Londis shop next door which would then be thrown up onto the roof, where the dog would eat them and inadvertently glue its jaws shut. Oh, the hilarity...look, Harlow was a damn boring place to grow up, right. We had to make our own entertainment. Oh, and we mustn't forget the Willow Beauty. Someone from the Rory Bremner TV show has been known to drink in there, apparently. I've never seen him, but then whenever I'm unlucky enough to find myself in a Harlow pub I drink so much vodka - just to innoculate myself from the inbred horror of the pub's clientele and the town in general - that I don't even recognise myself.
• It depends what yu are looking for. if you want cheap bar food and to watch to football it has to be the willow beauty next to the sportscenter. If you want to sit outside in the garden with the kids and feed the ducks, then drop by the harlow mill. If you want a quiet drink with no loud noise, then i recommend the white horse in old harlow. Very friendly place and you dont ever get any trouble in thee.
• Purple emperor harlow and also teh willow beauty most months has dj franky and uptown club there go to www.uptownclub.co.uk they cover tonns of pubs
• Wouldn't go to ANY pub in Harlow, far too scary
• erm...the poplar kitten is nice, and the horn and horseshoes past potter street near the common
• Go outside
• i like the willow and the greyhound, i used to work in the grey hound its lovely in the summertime
• Chequers
• The Garden Tiger, The Poplar Kitten, etc
• All the other pubs arent bad orange house (music, cheap drinks and pool tables), wetherspoons (no music, but very cheap drinks), yates' (onsite DJ, open til 1, not cheap drinks) The Moorhen is on the canal past the train station, its lovely there on a summers night n if you've got kiddies there are play areas both inside and outside. n the greyhound by the town park is packed on hot days - it kinda spills out onto the grass - i've never seen a fight there when its nice, plus u've got the ice cream van!
• lods cant be botherd to say if u dont mind walk between then it isa good pub nites u wont get round all
• Drinker Moth - mmm
• GET OUT OF HARLOW, IT IS WRONG
• Dont drop the soap (gay bar)
• The best pub in Harlow ever was "Jazzbo Browns" which sadly closed in about 1996 to be replaced by "Bella Pasta" a crap resturant. It was full of young people who prefer a dring, dance and a snog to a fight. Sadly something of a rarity these days!
• There are lots of friendly country pubs in the villages surrounding Harlow. The Horn and Horseshoes on the Common does the best hot bagettes in Essex, the Rainbow and Dove does great food but is often difficult to get a table and the Hand and Crown in High Wych has the biggest portions in the area but you need to book atleast 4weeks in advance.
• JD Wetherspoons and the some Old Town pubs are the only ones bothering with. The Phonix, Jean Harlow and Essex Skipper are definetly to be avoided at all costs!
• I quite like the Hare, but it never hits the right balance between overcrowded and empty.
• Lion at Eastwick ("We don loike stroingers"). Harlow's pubs go through cycles of alrightness to shittiness as the townie crowd move from one to another on a four month cycle.
• All pubs in harlow are a bit rough aint they!!! but u gota drink some where and so the best is probably the willow or the marquis(at the old town) oh yer and the greyhound in the town park is quite nice too! stay clear of the jean harlow unless u wana get stabbed or have ur throat slashed!!!!
• DEon't ever order vegaterian food at the greyhound,as it has to be said that i've just had the worst meal(supposed Honey Nut roast aargh)
• eat at home, its safer
• Best go to near by Sawbridgeworth for a good pub
• The FRESH FACED crowd occupy all mainstream pubs in the central area. The archers dart was known to be the roughest pub in Harlow by a long way (though they pail in comparison to some of the pubs in Manchester) fights were comonplace and the people were almost all hooligans. To find a reasonable pub you will have to go to The Moorhen (which is very nice, but it is as good as on the Heartfordshire border and doesn't technically count as Essex - which is a good thing. Also is the first place to get flooded when the river bursts its backs every year) The food is not too bad, and there is a play area for the kids (which is a good thing with all the single mums in the place). There is also a hungry horse pub there too which is not too bad in Church Langley where a lot of the White collar GSK and Nortel workers used to go at the end of the day.
• 'Heart and Drugs' is a dodgy venue for a beer.
• i think i mentioned pubs earlier...think its best left there.
• HAND AND CROWN FOR FOOD. OH GOD! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm! The Willow for a chill midweek drink
• Mr. Knowles has been banned from most!
• The Three Horseshoes. Since the Bar Manager is my devoted and gorgeous boyfriend and the service/food/people are all really nice, hence me moving from Scotland to be here in sunny harlow.
• Jean Harlow - Just don't get there. Someone got there ears bitten off there once. Luckily I have put plutonium along the bar, rendering its neanderthal residents infertile. Pulling potential: 0% Fight likelihoood 80% Fenced Goods change 50%
• Oh dear.
• Greyhound in the summer is the best, Willow is ok, The Hare is a bit miserable since there top barmaid left a couple of years ago ( thats me!!!!) Yates is full of wannabe yuppies at night and dirty old men during the day.
• the Willow changed its name to the"pavillion"because after about thirty years they realised that there was a cricket ground nearby.The punters(mildly confused)ignored the name change and continued to call it the Willow,making the ever accomidating landlords change it back to it's original name "the pavillion"(sorry the Willow!).
• to see the good looking men in harlow go to the pavillion (trust me there are some fittys in harlow !!)
• The Willow is Wicked!
• About 10 of em dotted all over town.
• The Jean Harlow is a very pleasant place for Sunday lunch. Fine beer garden.
• Plume of Feathers is a Fantastic Pub, also Have Travellers Friend if you head out towards Epping Green
• The Cock was always a mellow place to be for an evening conversation and a lot of beer. Musics never too loud and Xmas is always a laugh there.
• Rainbow & Dove, just outside Harlow. Great old-fashioned English pub.
• The orange footman is no more I'am afraid it was demolished like the rest of Staple Tye and now out of the phonix comes the new Staple Tye, like the old one but only one level, nice Chinese taka away though.
• Great atmosphere - The Greyhound and The Hare. Kinda tacky - Archers Dart.
• The pubs in the Old Town are good and not as rough as the ones in the town centre
• The 'Willow' is usually rammed, although there's more 'doomers' in there these days, since the Chicago Rock Cafe opened. The Greyhound in the Town Park is good for summer Friday nights. 'Chicago's' gets very busy (novelty value), there's a dress code and slow bar service
• Plume of Feathers: The only decent place to get a quiet drink. Lee and Tina, "The best Landlord and Lady in the Land".

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Last updated: 2011-12-03