Clubs (Dance Music) and Music Bars in Helston, Cornwall*

Where to go to get down

You can tell us more about Helston.

• Well there's the joys of Trelawney's, a hotspot for fat bald bouncers. Costly entrance fee considering sticky dance corner experience awaiting you but I must say, many a good night, bumping into to all the people you've ever known at your school, work etc. Plus large supply of young farmers and matlows, such a good mix...
• There are two "clubs" in Helston and they are both uselss. The Fusion Bar is by far the worst. Located above The Godolphin Club (essentailly a working-man's club... but without the work), Fusion resembles a half-hearted wedding disco where only the embarrassing brave the assembly hall of a dance floor. The DJ actually has one of those flashing units that really takes you back to those school discos of your youth - and the music they play is almost as bad! Trelawnies (AKA Big T's) is terrible, it really is. It is, however, nowhere near as bad as the aforementioned Fusion. It plays better music (but only just), has more people (but mostly violent navy types and their tarts), but does have more vomit encrusted on its doorstep and costs more to get in. Avoid them both.
• The Fusion bar,the alternative to Trelawneys. School disco like atmosphere, conversely seems to attract older men and younger ‘women’. Apparently you either love it or hate it. Enough said!
• Trelawneys- fun in small doses There talk of Flambards building a big nightclub which should be amazing
• Trelawney's, the Lady's used to be there, but it closed years ago
• Trelawney's has a tiny little dancing cupboard area.

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Last updated: 2008-10-14