Pubs in Holland-on-Sea, Essex*

The place to go for a lazy afternoon, pub quiz or last call

You can tell us more about Holland-on-Sea.

• This is for the non-minors out there - The Oakwood serves a mean meal- and pretty reasonable too. Probably wouldnt attract a fresh-faced crowd though and you will have to fight off quite a few of the feisty grey haired variety to get to the bar to order your table. Best to get there well before 12 noon for lunch or 6pm for evening meal. Food is delicious fresh and well cooked, so worth the effort - even you young ones might be surprised at the agility of the older generation. No noisy yobbos though - think you would be quickly ejected by a hoard of the above mentioned !!!
• The Roaring Donkey on the corner of Holland Road & King Avenue opposite the bookshop, a 'Hungry Horse' eating house & public bar, the meals are huge !! Large carpark, open daily, children activity play area, eating area is well decorated, just check-out the celling !!
• A rumour going around the place is that famous telly chef Joe McGann is to buy the large wooden log in the middle of Timewarp green and turn it into a pub. A press release states: "Joe McGann, famous for his telly chef telly series "Joe McGann: Telly Chef" is to buy the big log in Time Warp Green and turn it into a pub. He is not sure what to call it yet, but some ideas he has had are; "Telly Chef Joe McGanns Telly Chef Pub", "Telly Chef Joe McGanns Pub" or even "Telly, Telly Chef, Chef Joe "Telly Chef" McGanns Telly Telly Chef Pub,". It will be themed on T.V Cops"
• "Mobile Phone Musical Ringer" is a place for all those annoying f****rs with musical mobile phone ringers to go. Once there they can ring each others phones and annoy the f**k out of everyone else in the pub. Highlights are the Dj, who plays a non stop medley of popular mobile phone rings, including "when the saints go marching in", "The William Tell Overture", "Greensleeves", "Revolution #9", "Didi di di didi di di di di deee" and "F**k like amonster".
• "Willy Fogg Gets Shot" is a friendly pub for those feeling depressed. Depressed regulars walk in long faced and chat about the feeling of being trapped in and enldess spiral of gloom, alienation, terror, darkeness and anxiety. Happy hour gets you a pint of lager with a prozac chaser.

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Last updated: 2008-10-14