The Knowhere Guide

Arts, crafts and such in Keggers Hill, Essex*

Anything from pukka art galleries to craft shops. Trendy and twee both welcome.

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Arts, crafts and such
  • Best art shop is the "THERE ARE TO BE NO TEARS, NO REGRETS AND NO ANXIETIES. JUST GO FORWARD IN ALL YOUR BELIEFS AND PROVE TO ME THAT I AM NOT MISTAKEN IN MINE. GOODBYE SUSAN, GOODBYE MY DEAR". It sells blue paint at cost price as it inports from Belgium to get around the UN embargo on blue.
  • There si a literal throng of art loving artists in Kegger Hill. Controversial Performance artist Kevin Yatlllllllllllllllllley ( a name he changed in 1996) has been hanging from the waist from the town church since Oct 1998. He says it's something to do with freedom and the way we percieve our right to do what we want. I think it's rubbish, but I'm not really allowed to comment - Kevin said so. More up my back alley is old man artist Fletcher Wiggam. He paint water colours of nearby views such as the river Titty, Mount Juxtaposition (not actually a mountain at all, but called one all the same) and the Thorax Hills. He sells these picture to anyone with £20 on them. WARNING: Do not ask him to preserve the view in any other medium than water colour. He has a hatred and natural fear of all other art and will become enraged if your mouth is hear to utter "Can you do an impresionistic interpretation of Haggers Hall using dead animal matter?"

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Credits

All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: Minky MountYellow, Bernard Swatch, Keith Hewitt, Barry Hardwicke, Oliver Reed, Vendetta Mountharry, Mellips Phewtly, El Vis, Mo Stetson, Zack Morris, Kelly Kapowski, A C Slater, generic, Keith Hewlett-Packard, Cardinal Woolsey, Randy Scouse Git, Mohammed Stetson

Last updated: 2008-10-14

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