The Knowhere Guide

The Worst Things in Muswell Hill, Greater London*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

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The Worst Things
  • Dull people. Oh, the agony of being wealthy and boring. My goodness, if you work hard and want to pay over the top for a house this is the place for you. If you believe bricks and Morter alone will bring happiness come and live in Muswell Hill. Yoga pants wearing, 4x4 driving, cockapoo walking dullards.
  • The roads always seem to be dug up!!
  • St Luke's hospital, which released both the Camden Ripper and another guy who went on to throw someone under a tube train.
  • I got up to find my car dented and paint marked one morning, no doubt by one of the stupid 4X4s I see every two seconds using my street as a rat run. Cars are to be expected but what kind of fool drives a 4x4 in a dense tightly congested city?
  • The lack of Night buses to and from wood green and bounds green during the night.
  • The hooded thugs from Tottenham deposited by the W7 bus onto the Broadway each schoolday morning, to shoplift and litter their way to schools in Finchley - all because their parent laughably imagines they'll get a better education at a Barnet sink schol rather than a sinkschool in Haringey. (Oh, and on their way home they get to terrorise the middleclass kids form Fortismere school and steal their mobile phone and money. Aren't we lucky to live in such a cosmopolitan area?!
  • Muswell Hill is quickly filling up with selfish, self obsessed, anti social folks that think they are invisible to others, or just don't care! Constant loud music, shouting and fighting in the streets, football hooligans, vandalism and criminal damage, theft and violence are all commonplace outside my home at least 3 times a week, if not more. The local authority do nothing, the police do nothing, the residents do nothing. I actually feel that many of the current and transient residents are a huge part of the problem, as complete ill bred rudeness and selfishness is the norm. I always felt lucky that I was born in Muswell Hill, so I returned here to purchase my home, however, I actually regret it!
  • there arent any!
  • Sadly this once nice part of North London has been invaded by the 4WD brigade! Scum bag estate agents clearly wanted to find the new Crouch End, so hey why not exploit Muswell Hill to the ghastly hoardes of yuppies with endless pocket fulls of cash. When I look in The Ham and High ( a North London newspaper) I see four bedroom houses in Muswell Hill sold for over a million, I am close to having a stroke! Yuppies have ruined virtually most of this great city and these pile of dog turd estate agents want to subject them to old school Londoners Like myself. Where next Mr Wideboy to rip off, how about destroying surbuban Finchley and Barnet? Or even better why not do a great PR job on shitholes like Archway? Pathetic Fortismere kids, pretending to be either bohieman or fith rate Eminem wannabes! Zone 3 areas like Muswell Hill, is 'Hi honey i'm home land' not for pseudo middle class plummy voiced tossers to ponce around the likes of Sainsburys on a Saturday morning!
  • Everyone knows everyone - you can't get away with anything. People will tell you what you did when you were drunk the night before, when you haven't had a chance to remember it yourself yet!!
  • The snobbery, the "I'm all right, sod you" attitudes, slagging off Crouch End - not that Crouch End's absolutely fabulous either.
  • The smell of drains by the broadway on a wet day. The graffiti on every road sign.
  • absence of a tube station, although Highgate or East Finchley are only a short bus ride away.
  • Too close to Crouch End. Haringey Council - what exactly do we get for our council tax payments?
  • The people carrier drivers full stop but particularly those with an inability to reverse (drive at all) down St James's Lane after picking up their darlings from the drama school. Too many people who fall into the snob category - the types that did their complete weekly shop at M&S (before Sainsbury's went for the revamp) and don't balk when the bill comes to a small third world country's national debt.
  • Not enough good hangouts for 20/30-somethings who don't want to be elbowed at the bar by little sprogs smashed on their first pint... Sainsbury's Noisy buses coming up the hill. Sainsbury's No butcher on the Broadway Sainsbury's
  • No tube station - so Muswell Hill Trendy Mummies clog the streets with their people carriers.
  • Faceless trendy joints like "Starbucks" and "Ha Ha". Worlds smallest Sainsburys. No more "Socialist Worker" and "Greenpeace" stands on the Broadway.

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Credits

All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: chloe, rick Bush, AGM UK, Lisa, Dan Kelly, noodlebum, sharyn november, Ed Rich, Fiona Fer, annonymous, fletch, DK, Francis, Chris, Rachel Firth, david Goldman, Fleur Gatfield, Darryl Wilks, PaxDelta, cecilia, James Tuddenham, Donna, Marzban Kapadia, generic, Claire, new muswell hill, nial westwood, Steven Hinds, Harold Winchmore, Laurence Tuddenham, Anna Phillips, pamr100, Rob Bridgewater, Scott, david liney, Mario Corile, nick finley, steve, Laura, Daniel Neville, gerred, C, Hugh, shuanise, P.Harriman, LG, Joanne, marpu, Richard Brand, Rhythm Team, chrissy, Georgi, Hugh Morrison, Adrian Scottow, Bob, Doug, David Allen, anon

Last updated: 2017-10-14

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