The Knowhere Guide

The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else in Orpington, Greater London*

The things which can't be categorised

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The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else
  • I saw a kingfisher on the river cray behing the nugent.
  • I find it incredibly insulting that people are insulting the town I've spent my entire life living in. For those of you who also live here and don't like it then maybe you should leave and find somewhere else instead of spitting your vitriol and making it seem as though it's worse than it actually is. I've lived in St Mary Cray my entire life so for those of you who insist on insulting everyone who lives here maybe they should look past the travelling community that only make up about 30% of the estate, the rest of us aren't that bad. It's not the area that makes the person who they are, if they want to be cliche and hang around outside mcdonalds and be little tear aways then that's their prerogative and weakness of character. I've had a great education, well paying jobs and no trouble with the police because that's how I chose to live my life. Please don't tar us all with the same brush. How many of you outsiders have visited orpingon in the last 5 years? Likely a very small minority, crime is down, you don't see burnt out cars or graffiti everywhere, incidents are few and far between but we get a lot of people coming into the estates who don't live here thinking that it's a place they can be destructive because what the hell it's only Orpington, it's a shit hole according to you lot. There are bad elements everywhere but the majority of people are decent and hardworking, just because they have to live in a council house or are single parents doesn't make them bad people, teenagers will be teenagers so please don't make it seem like they're any worse than you were at their age. I love my town and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else, I don't have to look over my shoulder here because community is a pretty big thing, everyone knows eachother and will help if something goes wrong, how many of you can say you know a few hundred people who live within a mile of your house?
  • i heard that matt goodwoods uncle used to touch him and his brother up thats why ricky ellson is so close to them, theyve got alot in common
  • Orpington is not a bad place itself, it's the people. They are the most obnoxious miserable narrowminded bunch of tossers i have ever live with. At least the gypsys grow up eventually, the chavs never do. The best gide to who is worth talking to is anyone who isnt wite, and i say that as a wite person myself. Asyans, and blak people are the only ones who still have any manners round here. the rest are wankers, and if that sounds like reverse racism, i dont give a shit
  • yer what wrong with pikeys i am one and we are better dressed than you
  • find out where old freinds have gone
  • Orpington: pleasant town swallowed up by the horror that is South East London. Great place to visit if you want a fight, to buy drugs, shoplift or visit a brothel (Orpington has brothels, pubs, kebab takeaways, and Estate Agents galore - if you want to buy a book, go elsewhere!).
  • i dunt fink u shud show such nasty n offensive things coz that's wot it is eg. "My bathroom, with my hand . That may sound sad until you realise that Orpington's last attractive woman left in 1987." n "Most obvious one is outside MacDonalds... try round St Mary Cray, St Pauls Cray where most of todays junivile pikeys are (specially Star Lane) did I see a Priory kid in the Library! - ! You'll find the Priory kids outside McDonalds...or else down Star Lane." where did people get the ryt 2 talk bou the gypsies lyk dat! muvadie ur all bludy gorga's!!!! wher the hel did ppl get the ryt 2 talk bou a place dats luved by many lyk dat neways! ne1 who wa born in orpington n as grown up in it n all who luv it wuld b offended n scard 4 lyf, coz i no i am!
  • A word of advice... never never never never ever sit on the top deck at the back of the bus if you can help it.
  • The car advert sums it up pretty well 'It's not your fault you live in Orpington'.
  • Could you please edit the 2 items on Orpington Rep. drama group? Our website is no longer - it is now and the contact is not Nicola on 01689 828534 - it is Wendy on 01689 600827. Also the Chairman of Orpington Rep. is Rhona and she can be contacted on 01689 823803. Thanks.
  • Does anyone from Bromley council read this? Forget paying 1 million quid to widen the pavement in Bromley, Orpington needs a revamp alot more! Dont forget us Orpington residents!!
  • Does anyone from Bromley council read this? Forget paying 1 million quid to widen the pavement in Bromley, Orpington needs a revamp alot more! Dont forget us Orpington residents!!
  • Does anyone from Bromley council read this? Forget paying 1 million quid to widen the pavement in Bromley, Orpington needs a revamp alot more! Dont forget us Orpington residents!!
  • Does anyone from Bromley council read this? Forget paying 1 million quid to widen the pavement in Bromley, Orpington needs a revamp alot more! Dont forget us Orpington residents!!
  • We are from Newstead....we think it should be called St Newstead and Olaves should be called Olaves Wood
  • High Crime Rate Low Fit Bird Rate High Cunt Rate Low Mate Rate
  • Can I just say? What has happened to blockbusters?!? its all games? I WANT VIDEOS! And come on... Please let us use the back door as well as the front, because if you park in their car park you have to walk round?!
  • I go to the college, and 90% of the kids there aren't from Orpington. They are mostly rude boyz from Catford or Brockley or skateboarders from further out.
  • orpinton is crap the local halfords was arm robbed by a bunch of twats with knives (i used to work for halfords) its all fuckuin shite . its the congragating place for dropout bums, nob ends, pikies, scum and kids that u know want a slap with and iorn bar. the kids write words on the wall that no one can read (grafiti)and cant even string a proper sentence together with out the word mother die
  • Ok, I'm nearly 16, and I've been living here for nearly 6 years now. Moving from Greenwich to here was a bit of a shock to say the least. When I came I hated the place; 6 years on, my opinions are no different. Seriously though, how ridiculous IS this town? People are so narrow-minded, prejudiced, and really quite above themselves. All I've seen on here is the complaining about how kids stand around with nothing to do, or how they graffiti. Well what does that show me? That there's not enough for young people to do here. What they need are places, courses or events they can go to with their friends. Maybe a place they can use their artistic talent freely, or a place they can hang out where it's not freezing cold and wet. Orpington, with it's mix of middle-class snobbery and general isolation, is, basically, crap.
  • fuck orpington STAY AWAY unless you like to moan.(basterd grow up if you like to moan dont forget you WERE A KID ONCE!!!!!)
  • Orpington isn't as bad as what some of the people on here make it out to be. Yeah ok we have some pikeys but they add character and everyone is friendly anyway. If you think Orpington is bad then I'd like to see you guys find somewhere you approve of!
  • Adam Killi ck is a PIKEY! Well actually, he's a pikey wannabe. And he smokes. And just for the heck of it, I'd just like to say that Tim is gay. I won't reveal his second name, because I don't hate him THAT much. I think I'll go to a GLASS shop now. Hint hint. Orpington sucks. It is full of pikeys, and I hate them. I think that they should all be strung up in Orpington high street, from the fancy new lamp posts that were bought instead of decent new entertainment. I won't name any pikeys because of the risk of being repeatedly stapped with their second hand knives bought from Orpington market. I will however, mention that Adam Killick is a PIKEY! Ever notice how all pikeys are tiny? And also, we all hate Ossama Bin Rhymaun.
  • although there had been a bad reputation orpinton can be ok, u just have to go to the right parts, chelsfiedl villege is pretty, and most kids dont go there. not all the kids are bad thug, so dont judge all people. the priory school has a rough repuation but it is a good school and has improved, so dont be scared off. but the best place to go is the blue water complex, u can get a bus from orpington to there, its a long journey, but its worth it. also there are some nice walks in the countryside(fields and woods).
  • Orpington isn't that bad i've lived in it all my life im 14 and im not scared to walk down my street at night and if u stop cussing everyone whos under 17 and get to know them then maybe you'll find out that they r not all bad. Whats wrong with ramsden estate? my best mate lives down there and im up there all the time no1 has ever started on me. If you dont wanna live here then fuck off and stop cussing us! there are no 50p shops in orp and there are loads of places to eat theres quite a few good clothes shops and if u ignore all those grannies and oxfam shops then its not a bad place to live. All i have to say is we need a cinema and we also need to get rid of those stupidly big plant pots what going on with those?!
  • I love you all... keep smiling to make orpington a happy place! mwah!!! xXx
  • who has written the good and bad points of orpington? do they have a personal email address? Thanks, Chris Chant Stapleton road Orpington
  • I am adding this item now as it is generally the first bit anyone reads when they first come onto this site. Lets get one thing straight - I am FED UP with people who continually run down Orpington. I know it is "the done thing" and "in" amongst some sections of the community to critisise and even resort to offensive language. Orpington is not perfect - nowhere is - but it is a whole lot better than many other places than I could name - and not a million miles away. There is a very popular saying - "If you dont like it - either shut up OR get out". Orpington is still generally a good place to live, raise your kids and of course has the added advantage of being close to London AND the countryside. OK, so theres hardly any real nightlife or clubs in the immediate area - however surely Bromley, Croydon and other surrounding boroughs have more than enough - and if you want even more, then London is only a half hour away by frequent train. Try living in Paddock Wood, Heathfield or even Sevenoaks - I bet you would then come back! Open your eyes and give Orpington a fresh look - it isnt that bad.
  • Most people who grew up here have been forced to move out of the area because of the outrageously high house prices. This suggests to me that Orpington is a desireable place to live. I would still be there now if I could afford to. The people who slate the area abviously don't know a good thing when they see it.
  • don't go to orpington its shit!
  • Marks and Spencers is too small to stock their full range so, go to Bromley instead if you want to be sure you can buy it. Orpington would be really nice if Bromley didn't house all their problem families in St. Mary Cray & St. Pauls Cray.
  • Although it is a pretty dire place to live, I must say that I have had loads of wicked times in and around orpington and have met loads of wicked people ( though quite a lot of dodgey ones too) and I probably wouldn't swap growing up there for anywhere else.
  • Orpington has no sheep!!
  • What kind of name is ORPINGTON!? I couldn't they think of a better one like Rainbow Village, ok mayb not that but hey it's better than Orpington.
  • It's a shame that so many of the middle-class Tory types are so self-satisfied that they can't see the deprivation that also exists in Orpington (until it makes an impact by vandalising their car or breaking into their home). With an MP like John Horam (has been a representative of three poltical parties SO FAR) it is not surprising that so many of the "comfortably off" in Orpington don't seem to care about those who are worse off than themselves. Most of them are more concerned with trying to move themselves onward and upwards - Chislehurst or somewhere in Surrey - and get another bloody four-wheel drive on the roads of Orpington. Aaargh - why don't they open there eyes and WAKE UP to what the world around them is like for some people???
  • orpington reduces the value of propery in petts wood just by being next to it
  • Orpington is absolute poo, I can't wait to leave. Oh and the Christmas tree every year is pathetic, it is always tied to the memorial, and normally falls down the next day anyway.
  • Lets start a campaign to have a cinema and ice rink. Not only would this be great entertainment but would provide employment. We would then only need a decent music venue to make Orpington a happening place.
  • What makes Petts Wood nice and Orpington horrible? Ok so Orpington is surrounded by council estates in the Cray, and no-go gypsy roads, but hey there are some nice bits too. Lets smarten the town centre up a bit, drag it into this century, and give all the residents someting to be proud of for a change?
  • During my short visit to Orpington, I noticed that it had a distinct lack of places to sleep when staggering in a drunken stupor. (Benches, conveniently placed bus shelters, Heated ATM vestibules, etc.)
  • Orpington Rep drama group, peform and rehearse in the Orpington area. We meet Monday and Wednesday evenings at the Methodist Church Hall in Windsor Drive, Chelsfield. Please visit our website at for more information about the club or our forthcoming productions, visit the event page on Knowhere or contact Nicola on 01689 828534.
  • I notice there is not a link to hobby groups locally. I am the Chairman of Orpington Rep, a local based drama group and we are always looking for new members and residents to attend our productions. I try to advertise on the 'event' section, but that is more to advertise the show not the club. We have a website that tells all about our group. Thanks, S
  • The Walnuts Leisure Centre, there is one. It has a swimming pool and squash courts, i think that's about it. The Superbowl is very expensive and full of kids 'hanging out' and playing pool.
  • There is a fab computer shop in Orpington (Green St Green actually) called Senseware 2000 - they sell everything from software, printers and scanners. They even make computers to order. They are in Crescent Way (near the BUFF pub) and the people in there are really nice, friendly adn helpful. The man who works there looks a bit like Joe 90, but he knows his stuff and the lady in the shop looks a bit like Mrs Doyle from Father Ted!
  • The place where MY ViTRiOL (formerly Shock Syndrome) originated from.
  • It's got a bad reputation but the pubs have improved (you can now go to the Artichoke without fearing for your life, its now become the Ye Old Blacksmiths)
  • The best thing about Orpington is that, if you have a car, it is about a million times easier to find a parking spot there than in Bromley. It IS the "poor relation" though.
  • There is a good rail service to London - direct to Charing Cross / Victoria etc. when the trains are running...
  • I don't agree with the person who said it should be deleted from the list, either - maybe it isn't the best place on earth, but I grew up there and it's a lot better than some of the other places I have lived.
  • I've got to hold the other people here to task: There are NO 50p shops in the High Street. There's a hell of a lot else.
  • Most college students don't live in Orpington.
  • The average age of Orpington inhabitants is lower than Bromley.
  • Orpington houses two of the best schools in the country (St Olave's and Newstead Wood) as shown by league tables.
  • Bromley Council's got a hell of an imagination as to how to spend money, so much so that it can't afford normal things!
  • The Little Chef's in Farnborough, and that's *miles* away.
  • It's St Mary Cray, not Mary's (anyone who's lived in the area for any reasonable amount of time would never make that mistake...)
  • The Ramsden Estate's no longer a crime centre, due to big police operations.
  • There's only one school in Ramsden - The Priory - which performs better than 99% of the schools in Southwark, Lewisham, Lambeth, ewham, and countless other London Boroughs, not to mention almost the whole of Merseyside and so on.
  • House prices in Orpington are highish; maybe this is the reason that people who grow up there have to leave when they leave school.
  • Orpington's no longer the 'poor relation' of Bromley, considering half the shops in Bromley have closed. Problem is that they're pedestrianising the High Street, so parking's going to become a problem again.
  • It's got a good train service to almost everywhere, seeing as the station's got eight platforms and all...
  • Orpington is home of St Olave's Grammer School for boys and Newstead Wood school for girls. Both are selective schools and usually come very near to the top of the league tables for GCSEs and A Levels (top 10 I believe).
  • The public transport in and around Orpington is really good. Even St Mary Cray station (which is actually in St Paul's Cray) has four trains an hour running to London.
  • St Mary Cray is just that, and is not St Mary's Cray or even St Marys Cray. People from the area know this and most hate it when it is written or said incorrectly.
  • Orpington is situated in just far enough from London that it is a nice place but just close enough that London is just 30 minutes away by train.
  • I've lived in orpington all my life(17 years) and it is the crappest place on Earth. as soon as I'm 18 I'm getting out(to Newport, Gwent preferably)where humans exist.

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All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: David Andrews, jenny, simon, junior, Lucy, James G. Ellard, sylvia, Sandra Rayford, Leigh, Stu, bryn, Rich, dave warren, Malcolm McNally, Chris Platts, painiamm, Jake, Katrina, Paul Nicholson, D, Anna Baria, Bazza, Wendy Fairservice, Martin Davies, Veronika, Dave, Bill Heatherington, Mandy, hal, melanie and rosie, Vinita, danny p, Rob McDougall, Matt Hemsley, roger the lodger, Tania, Dave Morrall, Chris Hobbs, sarah, elli, daren mauldon, Mike Wallace, rachel, steve wadlow, Lisa, James Martin, nick, ncik, aymoid, John Doe, Gazbo Pain, DM, afsara, ZOE, Me., j.elms, bloatermon, Jonathan, miranda, ?, c, Sylvie, joe, Jamie, June Johnson, pete, JamPot, SEME, Steve Acott, Dave Warren, Jim Ellard, Anon, DANIEL, [x]*[x], tom, allan, steve dix, Jon, Tim, Mr. Pink, ian hodson, andrew, Bob Knapman, Al Young, Jason McGovern, carl smart, Jean, DK, Carl, rosie, Craig, Mand, Andrew Grout, Jennie Vaughan, Tel "Shellsuit" Ramsden, Andy Norris, Janie C., Becky, Matt C, sammie stolton, James, ken white, D K, locke cole, KJ, Kirsty Henning, Fred, Uncle Bill, Bo, Brian, ?????????????, anita, Tony Featherstone, Bungle, Scott, Dave smith, Kevin Sloane, beadle, Rebecca Carter, Laura, steve, P K Jones, haggis, raj, Amie Strutt, El, Komps, David, Vicki, Wormy, Jamie Pankhurst, Poppy B, Sophie, Kaz, James C, Trev, dan, max, CLD, Jon Smith, james bentley, Steve Jennings, Iain, Nut Nut, Peter O' Brien, Tk, Voron, pikey orpington, paul smith, riek, gregg, generic, florence, Jen, lynn oliver, simone, sammie stolten, andy, James D,Olley, Robert Colgan, beckie, jhon, Laura Davies, charlie, Chris Chant, Harriet Morse, Kathy Corteen, Dean Johnson, Rob, T.Cottee, reg&lauren, leah, Neal Brooks, bob, S Nightingale

Last updated: 2016-10-05

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