Cinemas in Penrith, Cumbria*

Places to go to see the latest releases

You can tell us more about Penrith.

Cinemas

• hoyts, it's ok. keiran works there
• the alhambra witch iz crap an well ova priced for a lumpy seat!!!
• the one with the old gays
• DONT GO 2 PENRITH CINEMA IM NOT JOKING ITS SHIT AZ FUCK. u mite aswell sit at home n watch a dvd!
• theres only one cinema. when something comes out at a normal cinema, you'll see it here 6 months later. watch out for the old man, he goes for the men and will not hesitate to grab an arse or two when on the job.
• crappy alhambra. all the new movies are shown here after they are released on retail. watch out for derek, he may feel your bum boys!!!
• i wouldnt go to penrith cinema if you paid me....they dont let you sit together...its dirty...and its nastily old fashioned

• the old crags at the penrith screen are rank so go to carlisle for better reception although the popcorn in penrith is the best
• Alhambra-on the plus side it's cheap
• yeh tiny n shit!
• Wouldnt go to Penrih Cinemas comeon you might as well go to bingo old granies work there you cant laugh or they twine if they do tell em to switch there hearing aids off
• The Alhambra is like something out of a timewarp, but fun and comfortable. One of the few Cinemas which still has uniformed usherettes......don't put your feet up on the seats if you want to see the whole film!
• alhambra if you want to be ushered out 5 minutes later, just because you asked your mate if they eould share the popcorn.
• Its fair crap - but it gets good films sometimes.

• A quaint little cinema that boasts two screens! Although for newer films it's better to go to Warner in Carlisle, it's fun to visit the Alhambra and keep true cinemas alive.
• Alhambra. if you say your 15 they let you in.
• go to calrisle.penrith is a month behind on releasing new films
• The staff there are pure nazi evil. they tell you to switch off your phone but when you take it out to switch it off the bastards get out there light-saders and blind you! the bloke who works there is very camp
• the second screen at the alhambra is so small n shitty i cant believe there was even any point in putting it there! they make front and back rows 2 sit on, not 2 stare at, wondering when the queen will arrive to sit on that certain row, gods sake just let us sit there!!!!!!
• U hav to take ure chewing gum out before u go in hahhahaaa, and its run by oldies! Wheres the salty popcorn, nachos, hot dogs, pic n mix???????
• oh dear, its like a dusty velvet coat pocket
• ask anyone in penrith and most of them will say they'd MUCH rather go all the way to carlisle to watch the same movie.
• Flowers either side of the screen make you wonder if you're in a crematorium
• 60's throw back more like, the staff are older than the building!!!
• COSY ALHAMBERA. Straight out of "League of Gentlemen". All the old women that run the place all closet-vampires and the camp old guy with the white shoes, friendly, but too friendly!! Ahhhhhhhh.......
• Bring back the Odeon two level cinema, not the flea pit alhambra..
• THE SILLY OLD COW THAT TELLS YA TA STOP TALKING ID RATHER STOP AT HOME BE MORE INTERESTING GOING TO A 0.A.P. PARTY
• Penrith Flea Pit, where you can be assured of a frosty welcome from the 'nice old ladies' and a 'torch koshing' if you don't "Shut up, or you're out". Half melted lollies and rock-hard or sooper soggy pop-corn at 'half-time' is a brief welcome to the torture.
• The Cosy Alhambra(not cosy,not in Spain,go figure!)
• DON'T GO TO PENRITH CINEMAS ALL THE OLD BAGS SITTING THEIR TELLING YOU TO SHUT UP MOUTH (ALL THE OLD BAGS DO IS TWINE )
• hahahhahahahhahahhaha, The Alhambra, watch out for the fat attendant in screen 2, "Anywhere but the back row"
• Run by old fat female ex school dinner ladies who used to force feed you semolina till you barfed, and 1 extremely camp old man who used to rather worringly give my cousin money for no apparent reason.
• good music before the films and they may be showing rocky any week now.what an exclusive.
• that scary old man who dances to the music is a laugh. Be careful though he likes to to pat mens bums
• urm well 1 gets all the films 3 weeks later
• Evil old women who glare at you and admonish you for saying 'shag' EVEN THOUGH ITS IN THE TITLE OF THE FILM YOU SILLY PLEB! Gngh.
• The alhambra in Penrith is unlike any cinema you have ever been to. To be honest it reminds me of some thing from the league of gentlemen.move and you get a torch in your eyes, whisper to your neighbour and they'll chuck you ot. Laughing is completely out of the question!
• one, the old regent cinema would make a spot on club though - take note norman
• You want crappy seaside music played for half an hour? You want to be terrorised by fearsome battle-axes of women? Then the Alhambra is for you. (Watch out for the cheeky, silver-haired funster of a man who tries to pinch your bottom!!)
• New second screen that seats 12 people! doubling its capacity and giving twice as many people for the old bitches to moan at
• The stupid old cow that has worked there since it opened, "back in the good old days" She also works in Fryer Tuck and always smells of fish and chips
• Go to the Alhambra and feel like you've been transported back to the 1940's. It takes them this long to show most new releases anyway!
• The Lonsdale, has recently been done out and now has more then one screen. I would travel further to have root canal surgary then go there willingly.
• The cinema has just got a second screen (Wow!!!!!) But please don't go The old grannies who work there don't even let you chew gum, and they play gramaphone music while you're waiting for the film to begin
• Penrith cinema is not much to write home about cos its so small!!!
• Alhambra Cinema in Middlegate soon to have another screen to meet the demands of the discerning Cinema Buff.

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