The Worst Things in Peterculter, Aberdeenshire*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

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• Everything to do with 'Black's'....
• the worst thing in culter must be the snobs that have decended on us from down south or westhillor somewhare you can see them speed walking once they drop off there kids at the babysitters there up turned noses wafting to the wind they all live either in bucklerburn which used to be a coos feild or two or in the millside area which was once the work ground of the good old working class in days gone by they all look at you as if you should not live here they should piss off as this is our village cooter nae snob land
• Peterculter is one of those places that has a good name................... And thats it. Local residents know differently. The daily entertainment is provided by the local wino's who migrate to the "Spar Dyke" bench daily....... (The night time haunt of the infamous "Spar Dykers") The Wino's work a rota system to fit in with the limited police cover in the area, of which there are three levels....... 1. Police car outside station, door open, (Police inside, coast clear). 2. Police car outside station, door closed, (Police off duty, coast clear). 3. Police car not outside station, door closed, (Dunkin donuts busy). Trainee Spar dykers hang out in Millside, Migrating there to drink, smoke, and destroy at will, before returning home to Johnston Gardens. From Millside they can view the "Spar Dyke" activity, and use it as an early warning system, should a Police car accidently stray into the area.
• Getting buggered in the hotel toilets, whilst having a sore throat (unrelated) and being unable to 'squeal like a piggy' loud enough.
• Venereal disease is rife.

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Last updated: 2008-10-14