The Worst Things in Polzeath, Cornwall*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

You can tell us more about Polzeath.

The Worst Things

• walking.. takes.. a.. long.. time..
• Polzeath is full of public school wankers. I got asked for ID when I tried to buy cigerettes in Spar. When i was 25. With a mortgage and a proper grown up career and a credit card which you aren't allowed until you are 18. Damn you southeners.
• Toffs.
• Pretensious posers, first time campers and people too cool to do ANYTHING
• Chavs coming down to invade peaceful gatherings on Daymer and cause a stir- Don't keep doing it you idiots! Why do you think those aggressive men in black hats that we all so lovingly call 'policemen' take you away to the nicker every time?! Think! Please!
• seaweed!!!its soo slimey
• locals gettting all excited that somethings happened all year, starting fights with harrow boys (getting beaten up)

• THE RICH KIDS THAT TRY AND LOOK LIKE SURFERS BY PUTTIN WAX OIN THERE HAIR TO MAKE IT LOOK SCRUFFY-GO BACK TO YOUR PRIVATE SCHOOL, YOU UNINDEPENDANT MUMMYS AND DADDYS CHILDREN.THEY COME DOW N HERE AND THINK THEY OWN THE PLACE.DRIVIN AROUND IN "DADDYS CAR", TWATS.
• young rah's vomming on your van.
• The bikini-clad girls standing in the shallows on the beach gaping at the surfers (male), with no idea which way up to hold a board and who scream every time they are splashed because the water might smudge their make-up.
• the boy racers who sometimes use beach as a kid pan, the underage kids who hang out by the spa and the posers who go to be seen not to do anything else and could probably buy the whole thing, and volvo men,
• NOT getting a christmas card from Grannies Grotto despite signing the guest book. When it rains. The young townies and ra-ra's everywhere.
• Polzeath in July and August NO practical shops, what happened to the mini supermarket? Too many crap shops selling more and more surf gear. Too many cars, parking on the beach.
• Drunks!

• too many yuppies and hooray henries southern softies
• Public school lot driving down in estates from Rock.
• you do SO much walking, especially at nite so dont expect to rely on the parents for lifts everywhere. Daymer gets damm cold at night so always remember your hoodie & cardies girlies!
• Yuppie public school tourists who give the rest of us tourists a bad name by ruining the place
• the absence of weird and disturbed people
• absolutely wopping hills
• Not enough pubs.
• Expensive challets
• Geting sand everywhere.
• The people who work in the spa! They ID everyone even if you 've been in there 20 times and you are blatently over 18. The strange old man that walks round the beach at night in a duffle coat. He's scary. There's no cash piont for miles which is soooo annoying and in the winter it bites here. The security men on the beach do the whole age repressing youth thing.
• Polzeath FM - ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no more please - also Polzeath is a strictly summer place!!!
• The 14 year olds who come on holiday alone for the first time and just get drunk and ill every night. They are found outside the post office wearing addidas. If you haven't got a car you are trapped.
• The place in the winter bites! People constantly playing 'Sweethome Alabama' on the guitar-WHY? If you can't surf then don't bother coming. The nearest cash point is miles away.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: George, disco percy, David F, Ross, Fran, SOS, Jodie, DM, john, LAURA, oli lomer, emma, Becky, esty, james allen, Tim Woodacre, tanya, jon, tommy hoare, generic, phil taylor, Jess, catherine, liz, Ally, bmx crew, Lee Mahoney, lucy, stuart shenton, whore bert, andy, f, Joanne, L, ralfy, Rob, Spartacus, grace, Heather, badger, will frankpitt, paul