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Subjects 1 to 20 of 2670 next>>
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Today's messages are highlighted in red
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| Rangers to focus on Premier League
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by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 5-Feb-2012
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"The Scottish Cup is shite anyway" an Ibrox spokesman was quoted as saying
- Re: Rangers to focus on Premier League
by jimmy mcerlane (Member 10202724) on 5-Feb-2012
SO ARE THE RANGERS HA HA
- Re: Rangers to focus on Premier League
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 7-Feb-2012
Juneburd has all but disappeared. lol Poor jim cannae get aware frae cos av goat ees moby number. lol
- Re: Rangers to focus on Premier League
by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 10-Feb-2012
Aye it wull be quiet on here until Rangers dae well again. Might be a long time lol. Ah'm goin tae see ri wee mammy next weekend, hope there's nae snow
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| Chap.Chap.Chap.
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by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 27-Jan-2012
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Dibble went tae ma furst luge meeting last night.Furst degree.really interestin and it wiz pretty much the same as hame only the get ups they wore wir pretty spectacular.I,ll be back.Andra
- Re: Chap.Chap.Chap.
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 28-Jan-2012
Good tae hear it. keep it up.
- Re: Chap.Chap.Chap.
by Roy 193 (Member 10235745) on 28-Jan-2012
Whochapshere ???
- Re: Chap.Chap.Chap.
by jimmy mcerlane (Member 10202724) on 28-Jan-2012
Andy thull be tossin yi oot the ludge fur postin thum an is board. Ah thougth it wis a secret.
- Re: Chap.Chap.Chap.
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 28-Jan-2012
Shush don,t tell naebuddy,Andra
- Re: Chap.Chap.Chap.
by Izzy (Member 10032520) on 5-Feb-2012
I'm gonna tell on you Andra son you'll be in trouble now!!! unless of course you grease my palm with some money then your wee secret wull be safe ....lol
Hey Dibbs I heard you met my other brother Malky the other night, don't be holding all these brothers of mine against me noo I'm still a lovely big lassie no mater what them brothers tell you!!!!
- Re: Chap.Chap.Chap.
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 7-Feb-2012
The 2 o them were there the other night. Roberts a fixture in oor place. Ah wis joking wi um the other night. The last time a saw him wis a few weeks before and he wis sittin in the same seat. Ah wis wunderin if he hid been hame.
- Re: Chap.Chap.Chap.
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 7-Feb-2012
Andra, don't let her threaten ye. Ah'll get her 2 "brothers" tae sort her oot. lol
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| TULLY
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by Liz (Member 10000259) on 25-Jan-2012
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Check out the InverclydeNow website, there is a shortcut tae an article aboot the Tully starting tae charge tae read it....
- Re: TULLY
by Liz (Member 10000259) on 26-Jan-2012
When yae read the tully website yae wull see articles that huv a padlock beside thum, that means yae cannae read that article unless yae huv coughed up some money..... Ah bet they huv lost a shitload of readers now...
- Re: TULLY
by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 26-Jan-2012
Imagine that, huvin tae pay tae read a paper. Ats shite so it is lol
- Re: TULLY
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 26-Jan-2012
Naw shites wits oan the paper.Mine oan nae lavvy paper daes when we used newspaper tae wipe wir erses.Andra
- Re: TULLY
by Liz (Member 10000259) on 26-Jan-2012
Aye well they cin ram it Jake cause the Inverclyde News is better anyways, get the news faster and over the weekend tae.... And there is NawtheNOO fer aw the news back haim....So who needs the Tully anyways!!!
- Re: TULLY
by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 26-Jan-2012
Ah mine we wid only huv lavvy paper when we wir gettin visitors. Many a tully hus wiped ma erse
- Re: TULLY
by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 26-Jan-2012
Liz ah googled Inverclyde News and got www.inverclydenow.com. Is that the right website?
- Re: TULLY
by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 26-Jan-2012
I just registered for Nawthenoo after four tries, it's harder than opening a bank account. Now I've got a message to say that "Admin will advise of their decision". Must be an awfy swanky bunch?
- Re: TULLY
by Liz (Member 10000259) on 26-Jan-2012
Aye thats it Jake, you will get aw the news now, NawtheNOO is like a chat site tae.....Happy Reading
- Re: TULLY
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 27-Jan-2012
The Tilly are at it again. The Charged for it 1-2 ago and then it went free again, probably to try and build up a potential customer base. Its only good for the hatches, matches and dispatches. The rest o it is yesterdays news that you can read in the mornin paper - unless ye want tae see who got the jail at court yisterday. Inverclyde Now is excellent and free!Great photo's of the items that are newsworthy and the punter kin submit their ain photos aswell. I honestly think it's the same mob as the Tilly under a different guise. ... more >>
- Re: TULLY
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 27-Jan-2012
Dibbles right Inverclyde Now its ah great read and excellant photies.Andra
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| Ah smell fear
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by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 22-Jan-2012
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I thought that Celtic went about their task yesterday in a very professional manner, defeating the mighty St Mirren away from home. In contrast, Rangers were unable to beat lowly Aberdeen at home. It would be good to see St Johnstone making a late run for second place.
Gerritupyees!
- Re: Ah smell fear
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 22-Jan-2012
Hope yir next shites a hedgehog.Ers ah hing,Andra
- Re: Ah smell fear
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 23-Jan-2012
It's great when the boot is oan the other fit! Us sellick fans have been quite lenient on yoos huns, considerin the way yees wur boastin fur the 1st three months o the season. LMAO
- Re: Ah smell fear
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 23-Jan-2012
41 yellow and 4 red cards so far! At least they are top of the bad discipline league. lol
- Re: Ah smell fear
by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 25-Jan-2012
Is it too early tae say that wee Ally is history?
- Re: Ah smell fear
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 27-Jan-2012
Ah don't think he will be. Gie him some money to prove himsel and then make a judgement. Unlike aw the Gers fans oan here that wanted Lennon tae cock it up and aw that shite, ah actually think that ye need a strong old firm tae keep they county bams doon, so that they don't think they are actually any good. EVERYBUDY IS OOT FUR MERR MONEY - AT'S THE BOTTOM LINE!
- Re: Ah smell fear
by eddie buntine (Member 10039210) on 28-Jan-2012
Jist heard the gers hiv changed thur mind on signing that swedish guy Celik, they found oot his wife's name is Mona.
- Re: Ah smell fear
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 28-Jan-2012
Eddy where hiv you been? that joke hiz a beard oan it. BTW his faither is called fukte.
- Re: Ah smell fear
by eddie buntine (Member 10039210) on 28-Jan-2012
Ah wiz hiking the Appalachian Trail
- Re: Ah smell fear
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 28-Jan-2012
yir ah liar ye wir humpin at foreign burd,lol,Andra
- Re: Ah smell fear
by eddie buntine (Member 10039210) on 5-Feb-2012
Andra, Aw the burds aroon here ur foreign,maistly sherman tanks.Ah did shag a Finnish burd wance, she showed me her wee village on Google Earth, jist inside the Arctic Circle, no many Port Bhoys kin brag they cowped an Eskimo
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| william docherty
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by andydoc27 (Member 10269435) on 11-Jan-2012
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hello trying to trace family of william docherty born port glasgow 1898 died greenock 1959 also had sisters agnes emily margaret jane and violet had brother alexander 1894 1964 he married margaret fulton there is also a mary perry some where as she was on death cert of william if any docs out there with any off those name maybe great grandfather or grandfather or uncle or aunty we may well be re lated or you just know them send a mail might help cheers ... more >>
- Re: william docherty
by Roy 193 (Member 10235745) on 11-Jan-2012
Hullo there; I left a message on the Greenock Board; where you might find some answers to your "Family Tree" ttfn.
- Re: william docherty
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 12-Jan-2012
Try - www.portglasgow4u.co.uk - they are very good on Port Glasgow history.There will probably be someone who can check things out for you.
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| Geek Time
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by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 8-Jan-2012
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Trying to download movies on to my "Nook"tablet hing.Instructions tell me"Get DVD converting software like NEXT DVD ripper".Somedae gonay convert at intae english fur me.Andra
- Re: Geek Time
by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 9-Jan-2012
Go in here an follow the prompts:
www.nextvideosoft.com/next-dvd-ripper-free.html
- Re: Geek Time
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 9-Jan-2012
Cheers al let ye know how ah got oan,Andra
- Re: Geek Time
by jim (Member 10015845) on 9-Jan-2012
Andra sen me yer address pal av got a parcel fur yae mate, sen it tae ma facebook hing if yae want....
- Re: Geek Time
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 10-Jan-2012
Jim ,6732 Stonecrest Drive,Charlotte,North carolina zip 28212,Cheers,Andra
- Re: Geek Time
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 10-Jan-2012
Jake.Thanks a million that site worked great.Yir St. Stephens edjacation did ye proud.Wee McVittie would be chuffed.Andra
- Re: Geek Time
by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 10-Jan-2012
Always a pleasure ya big diddy lol
- Re: Geek Time
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 10-Jan-2012
Last time ah pit ma address oan here two burds sent me thir knickers.Cood yeese please sen more the knees are oot the urrer wans.Thanx in anticipation,Andra
- Re: Geek Time
by Liz (Member 10000259) on 12-Jan-2012
Oh yae send at big shite parcels but yae wullnae send yer ain sister wan, ah telt yae tae send me a tin ah sweeties (ah like quality Street)...
- Re: Geek Time
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 12-Jan-2012
Hey ,less oh the big shite inat.Ye furget aboot the sister that abandoned hur wee bra and left fur America wey him wey tears trippin him.Aye short memories er.Andra
- Re: Geek Time
by Roy 193 (Member 10235745) on 12-Jan-2012
Now ; now "children" be nice to one another hahaah---a wee box o' chocolates; or a wee dram would be a nice gesture hhaaaaaaaaaaa tata the noo~~~~~~
- Re: Geek Time
by Liz (Member 10000259) on 15-Jan-2012
Aye tears o' joy mair like....
- Re: Geek Time
by jim (Member 10015845) on 21-Jan-2012
Still naw sent that parcel yit andra will do it this week, been a bit busy........
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| DING DONG
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by Rab (Member 10019172) on 31-Dec-2011
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Happy new year tae aw the bams, hiv ah guid yin !!!
- Re: DING DONG
by Liz (Member 10000259) on 1-Jan-2012
Happy New Year Rab......Aw the Best tae you an your..
- Re: DING DONG
by Davie (Member 10002618) on 1-Jan-2012
Awrabest tae yis all for 2012 inat.
Av got new neighbours and chapped thur door tae wish them all the best. Wit a night!!! Jist like the old days, wee cocktail sticks with pickle, cheese and ham, big bottles o ginger wine and currant bun!! Best neighbours av ever hud lol
- Re: DING DONG
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 1-Jan-2012
Awe ra best tae everybuddy,Andra
- Re: DING DONG
by Izzy (Member 10032520) on 1-Jan-2012
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL YOU BAMS HAVE A GREAT ONE.
- Re: DING DONG
by bern (Member 10184454) on 7-Jan-2012
See yoose loat, brilliant folks and I love you all to bits. I am still amazed that every time I log in as portfolksrnuts@yaddayadda.com that I grin from ear to ear. I have amazing memories of magnificent people and though my life is incrediblie busy and I hardly ever get computer time where I live noo.....you are all magnificent. Thank you. Here's to 2012.
- Re: DING DONG
by Roy 193 (Member 10235745) on 7-Jan-2012
I'll drink to that Bern; we've come a long way from the "Lurkers" and "Scotland On-line"--even before "Sues Board" etc etc Awrabest--awratime, eh !
- Re: DING DONG
by Liz (Member 10000259) on 12-Jan-2012
Hey wee yin...... phone me sometime...ah jist huv a cell phone noo, did ah e-mail yae ma number??
- Re: DING DONG
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 12-Jan-2012
SEn me yir nummer,Andra
- Re: DING DONG
by bern (Member 10184454) on 13-Jan-2012
Fresh start to the year, fresh computer, fresh unused email address that has bursted my new years resoulution to keep my computer safe frae junk email.....I am so glad you moved to the sunshine and I am naw getting caught oot at naw sending you a card....fer yer naw there to discover that part. Here is my new address iluvjohnnyreid@live.ca mibbies if the junk comes through it might have some free music downloads.
- Re: DING DONG
by Liz (Member 10000259) on 15-Jan-2012
whit you want ma number fer Andra..... Bern do you still huv the same phone number??
- Re: DING DONG
by Liz (Member 10000259) on 15-Jan-2012
Bernadette, I'm still in freezing in Ohio... Hopefully fer naw much longer...
- Re: DING DONG
by bern (Member 10184454) on 18-Jan-2012
I do Liz so I will call you later Wednesday so I can give you my new email address and phone number.
- Re: DING DONG
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 18-Jan-2012
Watch oot shes awfa crabbit es daes ah hink its the change,Andra
- Re: DING DONG
by Liz (Member 10000259) on 22-Jan-2012
Aye big change, an aw fer the better...... Hen I'm aff monday's, wednesday's and Thursday..... en I'm done wurking on the $th....Dr hired somebody fer ma job...so at's me fucked, nae job, nae money....
- Re: DING DONG
by Liz (Member 10000259) on 22-Jan-2012
4th
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| stop the fuckin bus right now
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by Rab (Member 10019172) on 30-Dec-2011
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http://www.greenocktelegraph.co.uk/news/gourock/articles/2011/12/29/421547-figures-show-hospital-violence-increase/
Is this the same Joe Mcilwee frae the Port that appeared in Thursday nights Tullie?
Councillor Joe McIlwee, pictured left, chairman of Inverclyde Community Health and Care Partnership, said there was 'no easy solution' to the problem of violence on wards??????????.
- Re: stop the fuckin bus right now
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 30-Dec-2011
A McIlwee ah coonciler.You don,t know the McIlwee,s.At moab eat thir young.Andra
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| Port top GrEnock 1981 and Old Port then and now
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by Rab (Member 10019172) on 29-Dec-2011
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Here's a cuppullah we hame trips doon memory lane for yoos older wans. Me an Jimbob an Davie can hardly mind oh any oh this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UgnGn-sjyg&feature=youtube_gdata_player
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mugFeBGybKs&feature=related
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| TOP THAT
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by Rab (Member 10019172) on 28-Dec-2011
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Bye Bye Rangers !!!
- Re: TOP THAT
by Rab (Member 10019172) on 28-Dec-2011
Ally...we will win
Rab....no ye wullny
Celtic 1 Rangers 0
- Re: TOP THAT
by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 29-Dec-2011
That ball wiz over the line! it should huv been a draw! ho ho ho
- Re: TOP THAT
by jimmy mcerlane (Member 10202724) on 29-Dec-2011
Rangers hiv nah buddi tah blame but thimsell. giein away a 15 point lead. Mind yi efter watching some oh the Scottish premier league games. Thir awh SHITE.
- Re: TOP THAT
by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 29-Dec-2011
Ah agree Jimmy Scottish fitba is shite. But even shite's good if Celtic finish on tap
- Re: TOP THAT
by jimmy mcerlane (Member 10202724) on 29-Dec-2011
Point taken.
- Re: TOP THAT
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 29-Dec-2011
The Celtic panto starts the dae. Everytime sumbudy says Ranger you've got tae shout - THEY'RE BEHIND YE!!!!!
- Re: TOP THAT
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 29-Dec-2011
If ye hiv any points oan yer licence speak tae Ally MCoist. He kin make 15 points disappear in a few months.
- Re: TOP THAT
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 29-Dec-2011
Jist seen Ally chasin a dug! He cannae hod ontae a lead!
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| Merry Christmas.
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by Izzy (Member 10032520) on 24-Dec-2011
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Hope yous all have a Merry Christmas and get to spend time with those you care about. oxoxox
- Re: Merry Christmas.
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 24-Dec-2011
Same tae you Izzy an family.Its nice over in your country at is time ah year.Andra
- Re: Merry Christmas.
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 24-Dec-2011
Merry Christmas tae aw the Bams!
- Re: Merry Christmas.
by Roy 193 (Member 10235745) on 24-Dec-2011
To Greenockians-Gourockians and of course Portonians Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy New Year, awrabest.
- Re: Merry Christmas.
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 25-Dec-2011
Awe the best tae everybuddy.Happy ,healthy & prosperous christmas an 2012,Andra
- Re: Merry Christmas.
by Rab (Member 10019172) on 25-Dec-2011
Awrabest tae you tae Andra and all oh the other bams;
Ando noo firra wee xmas song,
"ON THE THIRD DAY OF CHRISTMAS ALLY GAVE TO NEIL
3 DROPPED POINTS
2 RED CARDS
AND A SCOTTISH PREMIER LEAGUE"
IN ALLY WE TRUST ,I WIDNAE TRUST HIM TO HOLD MY PIE SUPPER.
... more >>
- Re: Merry Christmas.
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 25-Dec-2011
It wiz gettin too easy so we geyed yeese ah wee chance inat,And ah partridge in ah perr tree,Andra
- Re: Merry Christmas.
by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 25-Dec-2011
Aw the best tae everybody, everything ye wish yersels
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| Wallace an grommit
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by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 23-Dec-2011
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Ma furst burd had ah plastacine fanny.Furst time ah humped hur ah asked how it wiz .Ah hink ah made an impression.Andra
- Re: Wallace an grommit
by Jake i peg (Member 10215790) on 23-Dec-2011
A priest and a nun are on a camel in the desert. Camel dies and thur stuck.
Priest: "sister ah've never fondled a pair a didies before, and ah've never had a wummin play wi ma knob, how about it"?
Nun: "well it looks like we're goin tae die, we might as well"
So they get intae each other an the priest gets a hardon
Priest: "Sister if a put this in the right place, I can create life"
Nun: "Thank god for that. Stick it up the camels arse and let's get oot ah here" ... more >>
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| Miserable
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by Davie (Member 10002618) on 16-Dec-2011
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I've no had wan Xmas kerd fae any Eithopians this year.
Dae they know it's Xmas??
- Re: Miserable
by Roy 193 (Member 10235745) on 17-Dec-2011
Aw Davie; awrabesttaeye;hope Santa brings ye a lot of presents; and ye hiv a real good Hogmanay;hiv a wee dram fae me (fur me) an' ah'll send ye the money tae pey fur it; awrabestawratime, eh tatafurnoo.
- Re: Miserable
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 19-Dec-2011
They,ll be at thir xmas dinner,Andra
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| Gufaw
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by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 16-Dec-2011
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Ma mate telt me that a guy in oor street wiz shot last night.Juan Carlos wiz apparently shot wey ah golf gun.A golf gun,wits at.Ah dunno he said but it made ah hole in juan.Ers ah road hole over the hotel hing,Andra
- Re: Gufaw
by Roy 193 (Member 10235745) on 16-Dec-2011
Who writes yer material fur ye ha ha; ah hink ye need a new wan, hahaha tata fur nooo ,awrabestawratime.
- Re: Gufaw
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 16-Dec-2011
Always tap class jokes frae Andra lol
- Re: Gufaw
by Roy 193 (Member 10235745) on 16-Dec-2011
True enuff Andra; as long as we keep the "sence o' humour we'll manage tae get by--I still have copies o stuff fae the early days--when we had "lurkers" awrabest.
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| hello
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by Izzy (Member 10032520) on 11-Dec-2011
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beautiful sunny day here the day ............but it would freeze the balls aff a brass monkey............ wish I was in N.C. where Andra is in the heat wave......lol
- Re: hello
by Liz (Member 10000259) on 11-Dec-2011
Ah widnae want tae be too close tae him hen, he wid be tryin tae get his hauns doon yer jumper....LOL
- Re: hello
by Roy 193 (Member 10235745) on 11-Dec-2011
Never got that close tae a brass monkey ha; but I'll take your word for that--nice here on the Pacific Coast, can Ski in the mornin' and still get in 9 holes of golf in afternoon tatafurnoo--awrabesttaeyezzzzzzzzz.
- Re: hello
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 11-Dec-2011
Ah wiz oan the gawf course the dae it was really nice but thir wiz ah cawl wind blowin.Hink it wiz comin frae canada.Didnay spoil the gawf ats the main hing,Andra
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| Hurricane Bawbag
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by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 8-Dec-2011
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Emdae got a kite???? It's a wee bit windae ower here. 100mph winds oan the Clyde! Everybudy's callin it Bawbag! The telly ur makin reference tae the nickname but cannae say it oan telly. LMAO
- Re: Hurricane Bawbag
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 8-Dec-2011
It's even got a mention oan Wiki! lol
- Re: Hurricane Bawbag
by bern (Member 10184454) on 9-Dec-2011
Ahm dead jellus....sno ferr that.....me here and the wind there.
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| Bern
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by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 8-Dec-2011
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Daein well ,same auw Andra daft as ah brush.Hows things in cawl canada ?,Andra
- Re: Bern
by bern (Member 10184454) on 9-Dec-2011
It's simply magnificent here, Andra. The celebrations start earlier and earlier every year and it is all so good. I still wish I was home to feel that wind, hawd ma raincoat up and fly doon the street. See us Andra, awe us older yins...we really did have great times when we were growing up.
- Re: Bern
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 10-Dec-2011
Ats great.Too waarm here tae believe its christmas.Ah don,t know why they have christmas at this time oh year the shoppes are at busy.Ers ah wean in ah manger nae crib furrah bed hing,Andra
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| Favorite stuff.
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by bern (Member 10184454) on 8-Dec-2011
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Music- owel fashined kind. Especially melodic stuff and the pipes as well. And dancing. Christmas movies and give me joy to ma heart give me Jesus and anything Christmas. Arran sweaters. Hope you are well Jim. Just came to my mind that. Telling folks that are hame that it's naw ferr your no. Elvis, cannie leave him oot. Egg nog that has been tampered with rum. Any alcoholic beverage. Weans. Ah just luv em tae bits. ... more >>
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| Don,t bend doon fur the soap
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by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 5-Dec-2011
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Ers me back frae Myrtle Beach an al tell it wiz magic.Roastin so it wiz everydae.Dibble check es courses oot.Heather Glen,Thistle,an the Surf club.Yir right in thinking the furst two wir as scottish as Izzy before she sold hur soul tae the devil.Tap class clubhooses an when they heard me it wiz ah free drink at the bar.Met ah guy frae Mid calder tae.Anna hing Dibble am back in good standin.Ers ah "Thirs ah alarm at the door hing".Andra ... more >>
- Re: Don,t bend doon fur the soap
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 6-Dec-2011
Aw ye need noo is a tuition video oan youtube. BWT mindy is going tae the chair in Limassol, Cyprus in mid january.
- Re: Don,t bend doon fur the soap
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 6-Dec-2011
Shoot over Dibble Cyprus is ah rerr place.Andra
- Re: Don,t bend doon fur the soap
by Dibble (Member 10022384) on 7-Dec-2011
Ah thought hard aboot it but a don't think ma other half wid hiv been pleased. Am oot often enough withoot nippin ower there. Stevie Horrocks is livin oot there noo an Mick Scally his a hoose there. No tae mention Ronnie Miller, who his a flat ower there.
- Re: Don,t bend doon fur the soap
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 7-Dec-2011
Take hur wey ye she,ll love the weather an the shoppin,Andra
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| wee joke
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by bern (Member 10184454) on 5-Dec-2011
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A young man starts a new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First he has to clear the weeds from the exotic fish pool. As he does this, a piranha jumps out and bites him. In a panic, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased, he gets rid oh the fish by feedin it tae the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of cleaning oot the munky hoose, he is attacked by two aggressive chimpanzees(must be port chimps), who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes wildly at the two chimps with his spade, killing them both. Whit can he doo but feem em tae the lions, of course, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by a swarm of angry bees. He grabs the spade and smashes several of them to a pulp. He throws them into the lion enclosure, because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and asks, "What's the food like here?"
The lion replies: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees."
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- Re: wee joke
by Liz (Member 10000259) on 5-Dec-2011
Ha Ha Ha, at wis guid hen, never heard that wan before....getting tired o' reading aw the same jokes oan here...he he he
- Re: wee joke
by Andy Collins (Member 10000009) on 5-Dec-2011
Ave told at wan oan here before.Andra
- Re: wee joke
by bern (Member 10184454) on 8-Dec-2011
Awe the jokes are old on here. It's just that some of us it young enough not to have heard em before.
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