The Knowhere Guide

The Worst Things in Portsmouth, Hampshire*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

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The Worst Things
  • Can't anyone spell? It is born and bred - as in breeding. Not bloody bread. And ball dogs? WTF?
  • Portsmouth is an amazing City, I was born and bred there and it is not full of chavs or inbreds or druggies, there is no gang culture because Pompey people deal with things like men, we dont need our mates to back us up. I recently moved to Nottingham because of work reasons and Nottingham is indeed a shit hole, but as we all know its the north of England ( anywhere north of London is north of England is the north ) are full of inbred thick stupid disrespectful arseholes. I love Portsmouth, the men are men and the women are women. If you dont like Pompey than stay away because you will be dealt with. Do not get gobby to a Pompey dude because we will not say anything we will just destroy you and then quietly walk away without batting an eyelid, Pompey is 1 of the hardest Cities I know. If you see a man with Pompey Dots I would seriously avoid him as he is more than likely a member of the 6.57. Bring it on muppets and man the fuck up
  • first bus ,, hilsea roundabout , market way to m275
  • Portsmouth is an absolute shithole. Full of Pikeys and chavs with one of the biggest inbred populations outside of the Isle of Man.
  • Skanky locals who shout at everyone who has access to washing facilities or a lack of children. And weird next door neighbours who constantly knock on the door begging for "quids".
  • The students! In reply to the delightful student who said how disgusting Portsmouth is, perhaps you could explain exactly why so many students come to Portsmouth if it is so bad? These are the same students who strut about, usually dressed in some 'totally random' fancy dress every single night, basically thinking they are so much better than everyone else, simply because they are at university. Yet all they do is go out on the piss every night, wake up residents at 4am & puke on the pavements. Not to mention taking up all the parking spaces with their 4 cars per student house...
  • In response to the below comment, Portsmouth is very far from amazing, but everybody who is saying we should avoid certain areas because of a few school kids and pram pushing screbs needs to man the fuck up!!!! Every city has areas of crime; compared to parts of London, Manchester, Newcastle, Liverpool, Birmingham and Nottingham, Portsmouth has no real gang activity, just a pretty bad drug and unemployment problem, common in cites where a thriving industry once existed, but the introduction of the global supergiants left everyone poor and out of work. The problem is not Portsmouth, the problem is our governments ignorant refusal to invest more money into helping a society than they would make in return. Sure, there is Gunwarf Quays, and the the odd refurbished play area, but it is clear that Portsmouth is in dear need of a lick of paint. One last point before I stop to breathe, when people say "if you don't like it then why dont you leave?", that's easier said than done because that requires having money which unfortunately a lot of us don't. It may appear that I contradicted myself in this, but I was simply considering both sides of this unnecessary argument.
  • portsmouth is amazing,all you rude people really are simple minded why are you all still living in portsmouth if its so bad, there are plenty of good things in portsouth, there are some run down areas but there are run down areas every where, no one has false accents we speak how we been brought up to speak and how every one speak in porstmouth "THANKGOD". and the apparent dress code is just because of the lack of jobs being taken from the imagrents thanks to our council. people here have not normaly got much but we have a great comuinity and we care about eachother unlike some of you people. GET OUT OF PORTSMOUTH IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT. pompey born and bread.
  • VERY UN-FRIENDLY LOCALS. Areas to avoid - Sommers Town, Landport, Buckland, Cosham, Paulsgrove, Wymering, Stamshaw.
  • The fact that everywhere in Portsmouth is so depressing. North-end - drive (I mean crawl stop/start in your car) just look at the people, some of the ugliest individuals you will ever see. Cosham - Was nice once, now overun by Paulsgrove women who basically 'control' this town. Definition of a Paulsgrove woman - fat, ugly,wears hooped creole, earings, scrunched back greasey hair in a ponytail, swears constantly, usually eating chips, holding a fag, shouting at or smacking their child - you get the picture.
  • EVERYTHING!If you considering moving to Portsmouth - DON'T!!!! THE PLACE IS A SHITHOLE.
  • Good News- The Tricorn Car Park has now been demolished!!!
  • THE COUNCIL, They dont house the people that they are meant to house, people have been heard saying they are housing all the immigrants instead of our own people who need housing. this is wrong, We have grown up in Portsmouth and lived here a long time, but we are fed up with the council and are leaving to a better area.
  • miserables
  • The Chavs
  • Too much crime, certain areas you avoid [read Summers Town]. Far too many chav types for my liking. Really busy roads.
  • Too many pikeys in certain areas of the city, not enough indie/alternative nights, no big gig venue.
  • Fake cockney accented bubery wearing racist scum. A pointless place period
  • That it hasnt slipped into the solent by now
  • the number of chavs...they are multiplying
  • The local kevs
  • Chav's - you know them, girls with 6 kids, creoles and wearing short tops and low slung bottoms displaying lumps of fat and tattoos swearing loadly with their bleach blond hair scraped off their faces in to tight high pony tails and loads of "scrunchies" clutching their beloved B & H and a clipper lighter. Boys- wearing sport tops or named shirts with jeans and pristine white trainers that they have nicked from sport and ski and in one hand holds a can of tenents super and the other clutching a ball terrior on a very short lead-they think this is a sign of being "well ard!", wears earings in both ears and likes to take lots of heroin if not on the tenents super. The accent is just shite-and I am Pompey born and bread!
  • Dogshit.
  • Fights and fights.....Paulsgrove for gods sake....Is this an experiment in breeding violent animal humans for science reasons. Fights and fights.
  • The football thugs
  • Portsmouth, is the scummiest place, I have ever had to live. The Pikey's are all over the place. You need to be carefull from 4.30 onwards as the kids from the council estates get of school, and like to cause havoc on all they meet.
  • The place itself! Considering of coming to uni here? DONT! being a student myself I have found the place is an absolute shit hole and most other students ive spoken to agree. The locals are the most uneducated foul mouthed inbreds I have ever met. You notice that portsmouth itself is actually an island hence it is full of inbreds a total collection of council estate trash who`s only ambition in life is to commit crime. You will quickly be able to decifer a local from an outsider true pomponians are usually covered head to toe in sportswear and nasty tattoos nearly all when they open their mouths come out with total trash as well as stare at every1 they pass in the street. If your unfortunate enough to be a student here stick to the student bars/areas it`s safer! the best thing they could do here is demolosh the bridge and isolate the place from the rest of the UK hopefully it`d contain the filth from escaping.
  • So Many pikies that its ridiculous. The residents are NOT AT ALL FRIENDLY. After living here for 19 years I would advise you avoid Portsmouth wherever possible.
  • Er... cant think of any, oh the tower; whats the point!, Tricorn a bit on the ugly side if u ask me, oh and by the way can the council like update the fair and other bits that have been neglected ova the years to make way for that tower that nobody likes! Otherwise i love it!
  • Local people who aren't friendly at all, the fact the council make loads of money from hiring out Southsea castle and square tower but can't afford the repairs
  • - Many of Pompey's good citizens are real life Wayne/Waynetta Slobs. See them dragging their many kids around Commercial road replete with foul language and systematic beatings. - Port Solent: home of Cocky Wideboy tw@ts with designer clothes and flashy motors. Funny that it's built on an old landfill site.
  • Women the morning after
  • Casham, I remember once as a kidd I went shopping with my dad in casham, I felt rilly left out because I was the only kid in the steat that was not being beaten roung the head.
  • Road traffic management hotch potch, Tricorn, pebbly beach (they get in your sandwiches), Sadie King's husband at 43 St R........
  • clubing here is a joke as well as the traffic getting here.all the clubs are full of idiots who are just out for trouble"see the local paper for details"and as for getting in and out ............well what a city of traffic lights that are only set for all those nobs who live and shop in GUNWHARF its just a joke as now you can not buy a normal house in portsmouth for less than 100k.......just take it from me.........STAY AWAY
  • The pubs. PACKED.
  • The Pompey accent, still made me laugh after living there for five years, half London and half West country.
  • Commercial Road - how loud do some mums shout at their kids? Joannas - don't even think about it!
  • Portsmouth football team and Fratton park The portsmouth accent All the french people who decend on us at Christmas Ferries arriving from France The fair it's a joke it really is
  • That $OLD OUT, the best fanzine out of the city is no longer going...
  • Lack of a quality transport system. (so we can get out more quickly).
  • Scumhampton is only 22 miles away
  • Horrendously pricey property, often at poor value.
  • Well, the current road crisis can be summed up here.... http://books.dreambook.com/gmania/pompey.html
  • Portsmouth creole ear ringed woman with revolting Pompey accents. Pompey dots - a type of tattoo seen on the Portsmouth faithful (Men and Women). Each finger is tattooed with a black dot lovingly named a Pompey dot. These people should be avoided by all costs.
  • GROWING OLD, all the empty shops, especially in North End, which used to be a thriving shopping area.
  • Route 66 needs to get into the 90`s
  • The Accent
  • The terrible portsmouth accent. ie 'I'll meet you down by the fountain in town' translates to 'Oil meet ya dain ba the fainten in tain' It's a little bit cockney if you ask me. I was born and bred in Pompey but thank god I don't have that accent. My mum made sure of that! (Thanks mum).
  • Elly Jays - you will meet the worst-looking people in town...pardon me if you go there very often.
  • Getting seasick on the Gosport ferry.
  • Too many people on a small island.

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All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: Pauly, gemma dally, George, moon pig, chantel, laura, jj, vivien walsh, Chris, clare, david manning, Rich, Rosy o'hare, M Fitzgerald, danny, James Cole, Monkey Nut, Maisie Chan, alex, Dave, james beattie, susan pike, sally timson, June Tanner, Jon Dunne, Wayne Patterson, adam, BlinKy, Pete, Golly, UnglaViche, Simon, James Perrett, Gareth Colwell, Paul Malish, Lauren Waters, Neil McDonald, J.D, nick, Sylvia Rowe, Paul hussey, rick moranus, Matthew Williams, charlie walsham, Peter, Jase Uherhart, pippa, Mikey, Guest, Tom Sykes, nial westwood, Gary, Pennyann, Russell Buchanan, nate williams, alana, Matthew, Ian Moody, Terry Fleet, Andy Broad, Portsmouthrider, tom, Bubba, Udy, Chris Webb, darren, Twat, sue, claire camden, bobcattt, Paul Robinson, Adrian, matty, DawnMarie, Andy, amy, gary todd, Michelle-Louise, ronwoman, J Dunne, flobo, Olie, Oli Collins, John Cox, carrie, jim, Deb, ken, Phil. V., Paul Tambini, Russ Jones, Brian Robbins, Emma, Anthony Murley, Brian Starr, Steve Wright, Kennyleb, Jayne Elliott, Owen, H.Warren, Jade, myke, James Alexander, KiRsTy, Liz, kaz, pauljones98@hotmail.com, Andy McNaughton, Heather, Angela Muscat, Penny Barge, Matthew Harrison, Gordon, steve mcdonald, Nick Courtney, Loz, john, jane, the vodka monster, oh max, ursula, generic, Michelle Lancaster (nee Roberts), Rebecca Valentine, buster, Anna Bazley, Tony Bridger, Ferg, Hannah, lisa, i8an_bateman, Matt P., Helen Jones

Last updated: 2014-05-16

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