The Worst Things in Southport, Merseyside*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

You can tell us more about Southport.

• Not a lot to do when it's raining
• Too many police and wierdos hu think they own that street jus coz they stand on it, pricks!
• the bastards who have a go at us for skating when we try our best to avoid them and be safe..
• Underground (the old G Spot) full of emo kids who think there too indie to talk to normal people.
• councill and not being able to skate anywere wen wet !
• people being narrow minded or all fur coat and no knickers thinking they are better than other people there is a lot of that in this town be open minded and dont look down at people i hate that
• the kids on the street corners, the 'orange lodge' when they come down on the 12th july to litter the town with beer bottles, puke and piss. luckily a lot get arrested.
• Winter when everyone leaves and it is grey all the time.
• tourists. dont walk along the road in at -10 miles/hr getting in our way cos you dnt kno where youre going, saying oooo aaah theres a tesco! oh yeh wit an ice cream
• Few decent shops missing. When Livin' local fair does get boring, beach is sh*te.
• The obliteration of Southport people by the influx of Liverpudlians. Second generation folk don't consider themselves to be Liverpudlian, though you could still stir their scouse accent with a stick - if they weren't using it to beat someone to death on a Friday night. SO in short, the en-scousement of Southport, and the extreme violence of that town's youth 'culture'.
• The snobby shop assistants. Would it cost so much to feign a bit of friendliness?
• THE WOOLS THAT SUPPORT UNITED YET HAVE NEVER BEEN TO MANCHESTER IN THEIR LIVES STEVE JUNKIE GERRARD AT HAIG AVE THE LITTLE NO MARKS THAT HANG ROUND MACCYS THINKIN THERE HARD IN THEIR LACOSTE TRACKIES AND TRY AND ADOPT A SCOUSE ACCSENT THE STUCK UP OLDIES THAT MOAN AT BUS STOPS RESTURANTS SHOPS AND WHEREVER ELSE THEY GO. THE SNOTTY T**TS THAT CALL SCOUSERS FOR BEEN SCALLIES YET SOUTHPORT AND THE KIDS NOW R JUST AS BAD. THE TRAIN STATION =SCUM SORT IT OUT BLUEBERRYS CAFE IN THE ARCADE AND THE MARINE LAKE CAFE= YOU D NEED A FORK LIFT TRUCK TO SCRAPE THE GREASE OFF THE WALLS. SCUM HOLES STANLEY HIGH SCHOOL = FULL OF RETARDS WITH ATTITUDES THAT POSH ACCSENT THAT SUM PEOPLE HAVE GOT - SORT IN OUT 15 YEAR OLDS WITH ROOTS PUSHING A PRAM ROUND - GET A LIFE BIG ALE HEADS THAT GO IN DIVES LIKE THE ALBERT CROSSENS = ILL SAY NO MORE
• Little F**Ks 5ft high max wearing blue tracksuits that occupy everywhere in southport
• All the scally knobheads
• The bloody old people. THERE EVERYWHERE!!! If you want to sit down... forget it... the old people fling themselves on benches. Oh and skating causes them to have hissy fits... ha ha ha
• The carbuncle at the end of the pier. Once you get over the incongruity of the building, it's worth a few old pennies on the fruit machines inside. A pet hate is where one house is demolished and the developers try to cram in as many houses as they can and leave them with no garden. You've only to look at the top of Whiterails Drive in Ormskirk to have a look at 2 properties with only a front car parking space and no garden.
• Wecome to Southport twinned with the twilight zone sign
• Don't bother coming to Southport for holidays if you are a parent with kids as it now has no Kid's A & E facility or children's ward. It's all been moved to Ormskirk. Oh yes, we now have no maternity facility either so it's no good for pregnant mums either.
• arcade sports - no selection, no accounts. might as well be redundant - sells d3's etnies chess boads top trumps and squash shoes samuria swords
• Fake scousers, scalls, townies whatever u want 2call them.theyr a bunch of whiney fags who are mumyms boys wiv there lil slut gfs who are only so tough becasue of teh otehr 30 ppl wiv them...wankers
• people who like 2 say southports a shithole, u wud only no it wasnt if u ever went 2 the right places! thts a severe character judgemnt so jus go home!
• Everyone hears about anyhing you do, sometimes before you hear about it yourself!! loads of old people.
• Southport gb.com A complete waste of a good idea ,moaning about the council and very little else .......SHITE!
• all the old people. the stuck up snobs.
• Everyone knows everyone in Southport
• the local council
• scalls, no doubt, the lame ass scalls that spend all their time on nevel street beating innocent 15 year old girls up and bragging about how hard they are (which is COMPLETELY irrelivant when theyr'e 25) (read the paper) they have some serious thinking to do, are they gona do it all their lives or are they gona grow up and get a job?
• The wannabe scals
• too many wealthy people with flash cars, too many jags and porsches taking all the best parking spots
• it's becomingly ridiculously expensive - have you seen the house prices recently? £800,000 for a semi on Hesketh Road!
• The name Southport
• Scousers dodging their fare and coming up on the train to steal things. Their only use is to ship them out to catch a bullit if we have another war. Illbred, uncouth, bad mannered low life born of some drunken gross coupling after the pub shut. "ere wots yer name girl".
• Tatty bargain shops on Lord St. Sefton Metropolitan Borough Council. Surly looking skaters in hoodies and stupid jeans hanging round in front of the Arts Centre trying to look hard and cool when everyone knows they're all nice middle-class kids from Birkdale.
• I can never beleive when I see debates of the 'mersyside' nature, i.e. Scousers complaining that other areas of this now defuct & ridiculous administrative county - merseyside, don't like them .....aaahhhh Of course we 'locals' whom you affectionately refer to as 'wools' don't like being overrun in our own towns...Southport, St.Helens, Warrington, Widnes, Formby, Ormskirk etc. etc..if Scousers don't like 'verbal retaliation' PLEASE return to your own city...is that too much too ask ! LONG LIVE THE COUNTY PALATINE OF LANCASTER.. oh & scousers...that includes you lot...we are all Lancastrians (www.FORL.co.uk)
• The abundance of blind old people driving micras. Spot the silver micra ,white stick and a silly hat
• Too close to Liverpool.
• People having goes at each other for either being a Sandgrounder or a Scouser. at the end of day each one is lucky to have the other. and at least there not Brummies.
• no room on the buses for pensioners. taxi's stitch you up after midnight
• The council never get anything done! They have many great ideas, but none of them ever happen! They start one project, and then never complete it.
• Sad old git,s driving at 15mph on the moss roads . speed up or get the bus. Better still leave your cars at home so you do not kill a young person with your dangerous blind stupidity . Woolyback tractor drivers, get an education before a driving licence
• The cheesy clubs!
• scousers! go home ya scally no goods n trash ya own town oh sorry i almost Forgot thers nothin left to trash there you did it allready!
• Yeah right no one from Liverpool would be seen dead wearing Kappa (well they would end up dead if they did) its the worse fucken make in the world and worn by all you manky sounding farmers from Southport. Get yerself some Lacoste and a pair of stans... is right!
• On hot sunny days the flashers hanging around hesketh park .Exposing themselves to women and children.
• the way the woolybacks talk!! its on the verge of mancunian and dosnt half go through me!and the way they hate scousers....well'scousers bring at least 50% of the tourism, liverpool has the two football teams u more than likely support, u take off thier fasions, even if it is 3 yrs later!!!and once u hit 16, realise uve already been goin the shithole (sorry-bliss!)since u were 8 u will more than likely venture to cream,051 etc amoungst the scousers!!also,i hate the way the wools dis ppl from formby...its not our fault we live there!!
• Smackheads Rockers Smellys
• The weekend clubbers who feel they have something to prove other than their age.
• The local drivers are the worst in Christendom. The alleyways running parallel with, but behind, the "Victorian Splendour" (sic) of Lord Street. (Should be "Good Lord!" Street). I had to work there from 1979 to 1985.
• The fairground. It's called "Pleasureland", an oxymoron if ever there was one! The people: crass, snobbish, arrogant, intransigent, xenophobic (as in they hate anyone not from Southport for four generations), anachronistic, reactionary, pro-fascist bigots. (And that's the good ones).
• The fact that most Southporters think they are so above scousers, when in fact half of them either come from Liverpool, or their parents do. I would just like to remind people that if it wasn't for that city Southport would never have been built, plonked out on some poxy sand dune.
• Fashion in Southport has not moved beyond 1995. Oh yeah and the accent, its so annoying, you don't know whether to speak like Fred Eliot or Jimmy Tarbuck!
• Jumped up native residents of scarisbrick, They will not tolerate anybody who in their eyes is an interloper. They seem to think that anybody who moves to the area is taking something from them. They are so rude it is sickening Cottagers hanging around the toilets in the parks or are they scarisbrick men on tour?
• People form southport going on about scouser,s SNOBS People from southport have no manners whatsoever Stupid kids vandalising everthing in their path ie parks bus shelters ect
• All of it.
• OLD PEOPLE, busted up winding pavments (shit for skating)
• Gangs of little plastic scallies in there tracksuits and rockports
• Southport is known as Gods waiting room .. It's full of Oap,s waiting to "meet thy maker" ..Praise the lord and pass the tambourine
• The council seem to have forgotten that to make a town exciting it needs young people here. All the young people leave and go elsewhere, where there's pubs and clubs.
• The Palace Cinema.
• All that froggies spending summers there, all that people from Valencia and Madrid, and the Germans, Austrians and similar. Too many hooligans and scousers on Southport nights.
• The large amount of Old people and the scousers who like to migrate in large herds wearing Kappa and acting hard !? Why can't they f*ck off back to the sh*t heap they crawled out of.
• Worst Thing is the snobbery of the natives - for example the claim that they have nothing in common with Liverpool (apart from hundreds of thousands of visitors from there every year) and should be in a different county.
• The worst thing about Southport is the residents trying to out-do each other "Keeping up with the Jones'". As they say in Liverpool, "New car in the drive, no meat on the table!!"
• No multi screen cinema (yet)
• the basketball team needs a sponsor
• People lowering the cred of the top bars by wearing suits or slacks with Top Man shirts. Stick to the golf clubs, lads!! The imagined rivalry between Southport and Liverpool. Im from Southport and think scousers are the friendliest and liveliest people on earth.

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Last updated: 2010-02-02