The Knowhere Guide

The Worst Things in Spitalfields, Greater London*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

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The Worst Things
  • The F*cking retard that bags the money out of the pay phone at 2am & the heroin addicts who live in a Vaxhall Astra estate outside my flat both in Brushfield st
  • the HORDES of pubbers/clubbers/tourists/armies of bankers clogging up the place 24/7, urinating in our doorways and chucking bagel wrappers and general sh*t over our walls. They have completely ruined what was so special about the area. It's become just another fashionably run down area full of bankers slumming it and Trustafarians. S*d the lot of 'em, i'm moving out.
  • The guys outside the Brick Lane restaurants touting for business. So many new restaurants have opened recently that most of them are empty most of the time. The desperate owners have resorted to paying touts on commission to molest passers by to try and get them in.... and I mean molest. They stand right in your way so you have to stop and explain you dont want to eat their delicious curry just now, thank you. Just as you escape another ppounces a few doors down. They are even more persistent with women. Brick Lane has lost its cool, is full of sacks of refuse, poor restaurants and is best avoided.
  • the looks and hassle that you can get in brick lane. brick lane area can be very dingy. starbucks near spitalfields market - starbucks are destroying britain.
  • bankers who live in the area because they find it "So convenient" for the City and who dont give a toss about anyone else in the area.
  • bloody new eastenders who say things like: "Energy. People. Creativity." (see above)
  • "meeja" arseholes moving into the area and shoving prices beyond the reach of locals, wafting around in vintage trainers, colgging up the bagel shop/pubs/cafes/eachothersarseholes
  • The Virgin ambulance helicopter - very loud noise it makes!
  • Being asked if you 'want any business' by ill-looking prostitutes whilst walking up Wheler Street at 6 in the morning.
  • The increasing tide of friday night trendies that can be seen coming along Old St at about 9pm.......On Fridays.
  • Re: The curry house touts - I just saw "No" and show them the palm of my hand - they understand that somehow
  • The market at 5am on a Sunday morning when it's setting up.
  • The nightmaring Hawksmoor church in Spitalfields that evinces insanity more than any other building I've seen. (He went irretrievably bonkers soon after it was built, but whether the church as cause or effect it's hard to tell.)
  • Traffic.

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Credits

All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: Saint Acid, joel, Mo, Melanie, Will, Dave Ditch, Claire Hansford, Roland Jeffery, Ethelreda Gotobed, Perry, jo, ian e smith, plonker, Paul Sandwell, daniel, Stuart Scanlan, matt, Paul Sanders, Pierre at the Centre of Attention, adam modelski, the dogs bollocks, Clare Carabott, Rob Skedgell, mushie, generic, chrisbrock, vik, shireen, andy- northlondon, Julie Zielstra, Sam

Last updated: 2008-11-11

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