The Knowhere Guide

Hookup Spots in Stonehaven, Aberdeenshire*

Inside Information and Stuff Only Locals Know

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Hookup Spots
  • Hook
  • The muff man
  • Mikey Allan's mum
  • Laura craddick
  • Paccitti household
  • My house
  • The foyouer.
  • Shannon steel and her mouldy minge 😂😂
  • Honey came in and she caught me red-handed, creeping with the girl next door, Picture this, we were both butt-naked, banging on the bathroom floor
  • the slutty mcsluts of babes in da woods nursery
  • ginger shannon, firing out bairns, left right & centre
  • I like to show my willy
  • Megan Paton
  • Paige Forbes will leave you wetter than the nearby rivers
  • Jamie whittet's fishy fanny
  • 3 Knots is great if you like going in deep
  • Jamie Whittet is alright if you like fish
  • saying that about folk fae carronhill (below) is disgusting. Ignore it if you're reading
  • all the downs in carronhill
  • i eat all eh muff bags in stoney
  • Is there really any hook up spots in Stonehaven? Just tired desperate housewives
  • The beach beside the castle
  • Flat 10 in the foyer
  • Miss Moir, mackie academy, her office is where she shags mr tullock tea cakes
  • Mike wallis flat. he has a small Willy though
  • 5 christie cresent
  • Daniel Caine's Shagging wagon in the co-op car park
  • ryan's house
  • Kyle voyds flat
  • 13B Highstreet, Sticko is a very good lover
  • The quarry club. Membership occurs between ages 16-21
  • Alex Lee has sucked off more than a hoover.
  • Poked jamie whittett and got fish fingers, boke min, never got ma chips with my fish
  • Girls in stoney only hook up with guys who smoke bines, likes a voddy, takes peels, like stone roses and wears retro adidas
  • Shannon Logan has a fishy fud 🐟
  • Pauline Simpson is a cougar
  • Jamie Whittet has been round the Foyer a few times
  • Chris gabba holden......legend!!
  • stoney is full of wankers its a piss poor version of itself not like back in the day nobody is game for fuck all these days long live the old days these days are a fucking joke and stoney is full of pussies at least the old crew made a name for themselves stoney is just a joke young stoney lunatics all the way yeee haaa
  • Kelly Gray will have you, your father & your wee brother & mate all with-in a hour. And if your really lucky she might take you back to the pub to buy her a drink & meet her BF..
  • shona ross is another tart that loves the toby, give herr a call for a dose of itch balls, then call your doctor for some medication to get the sti out of you
  • I'd like to announce that me Kelly Muir is up for sex with any man in stonehaven, I doubt that there is many left to fuck but I'd give the last 1 or 2 a shot, just because
  • Sarah French has been round stones more times than the 107 bus!
  • You could always ask the dope heads that hang about the house beside the Dunnoter castle for anal sex.
  • The forest up the Slug Road for some dogging.
  • Chinky Mob !!!!!
  • Massons flat usually the after party usually an orgy of std filled people end up there
  • The Thurlow household plays host to a weekly orgy. 34 Dunnottar Av, Thursdays, trousers not welcome
  • Down the beach is good for the long grass
  • Got to be the good old Lc kehn! Just watch out for a certain glaswegian well known to both grampian and strathclyde police. He will be found sporting thick rimmed specs and camo, don't let the camo decieve you trust me you WILL easily spot him but failing that listen out for the faint cries of ''i cannae see'' followed by ''whoooooomp tssshhhhhh'' and a large bang.
  • mackie academy! haha. well yeah LOL.
  • Shiro's to kiss homo's like Liam the raghead
  • Train station, superb for leaving this ratty little shithole
  • Do NOT lend Barry Park any money.
  • lindsays shed
  • stoney l.c the place for all the locals that want to be boy racers but aint chav enough to make the grade hang out this population seem to be dieing off tho
  • There aren't very many public hook-up spots where you don't run the risk of getting attacked, whether it be verbally or physically. Maybe the bowling green is fairly safe?
  • haaa haaa!!! Tracy Mcaphrey or however you spell it is back, good she thinks shes hard!!! wot a bloke she is, wait...some1s gonna sort her out and she dont no it!!! heee heee
  • Well, theres plenty of places for folk underage to go, usually beside alldays, min, or anybody of any age can get into Divas - formerly the Vennel - providing they are female! so beware lads, that 18 year old you are eyeing up, is actually 12. Once again, the leisure centre is a popular spot for all the boy racers - the folk in the caravan park keep writing into the Mearns leader complaining about the noise.
  • stoney rocks. you can do so much there. we can get ANYTHING you need for a good night in or out.........if you know what i mean.
  • had to be the paddling pool for a skate, smoke, drink and shag!! not necesserily in that order
  • the bogs at the beach are good if you need to get drunk or laid before your 14
  • thats the thing about stoney there is nowhere for the underagers to hang out. shame just aswell most pubs are not to stict
  • yeah!!! the place to be Spar, Brickfield road where all the brick'r slags hang about in their little skirts..they will stand there all night if they have to, to try and stick there bums in the air as the lean in to boy racer cars...PLEASE!!!! ITS SOOO unattractive...
  • scott reid aka sleaze. This boy will sleaze on your girlfriend and start touching her up even if your standing holding your girlfriends hand.
  • Not alot to say for stonehaven really. If you want to go out with ur girl and let every wanker and their brother sleaze on her, head for romanys it a certainty. SCOTT REID being the biggest sleaze, but u always get the feel good factor when ur girl tells him to fuck off.
  • If you have a car??!! Its gotta be the Hallowed leisure centre car park where you go to sit in a car and look RRREEEEEAAAAALLLLL cool NOT! Opposite alldays is another place if youve just passed your test and are driving mummy and daddies corsa generally the younger lot until you get another car and are a bit older the leisure centre oooh wot joy!
  • 2 types of people in stoney, both scum. 1 the tinks i,e scott walker, cackle, kiff etc. 2nd is the "think they are rich" gang, i.e moose, david uquart, mound etc. Other name that come into my head are Ewan kennedy. Every name i mentioned sums stoney up PATHETIC
  • ciff loves the cock and so do his friends
  • Stay clear of the hook and eye unless u wanna bump into losers like GROG, CIFF, Jackel, CAPPY and the rest of the Pondlife scum. So come to Stonehaven for the ultimate in British Pondlife.
  • latest place-to-be (if you think your cool enough) is across from alldays shop at accross from the square. If your lucky enough to have a car, you can enjoy parking your car (the over-modified nurses car - the corsa - is very popular at the moment, comlete with tinted windows ---oooooooh how cool!. They can sit all night long a stare at alldays - how exciting. And those of u who can't drive can lean over with your fat asses in the air and speak to the loosers in thier womens corsa.
  • Emmmmm, the square probably, dont understand why, alldays garage has become quite popular, some ppl think its fun to stand outside the school (mackie), cough losers, mineral well gets it fair share and as i read in the local paper the other day "the boardwalk has become a well known rendez vous for youths to go and drink alcohol". Oh the shame of it. How could they put that in a paper when its so untrue: there's no way its a boardwalk, its simply random planks of wood. I'll be having words with Mr. Mearns Leader.
  • always has been and always will be THE SQUARE!!! for the young and old alike! The young hang around for the old to buy them booze and the old hang araound cos they have nowhere else to go....very sad but very true!!
  • Any steert corner does for this bunch.Nowdays though its mill o forest school, ALL the cool guys hang out there to play footie.most the girls that go r dogs, the guys only speak 2 one and she doesnt associate with the others.WEIRD!
  • the Leisure Park if ur a boule boy!!!! hail hail
  • minerwell park.... rife with underaged drinking.....never did find the famous magic mushroom spot though!
  • Yeah,its that place again,THE SQUARE!Where all those teeny boppers go on a friday night and the occasional skater dude trying to pull those cool moves. Not to mention the little slags,two in mind,that hang around with who evers cool at the time,be it Scott or Kirk,we dont really care.
  • If you walk along the slightly treacherous cliffs down past the leisure center and through Cowie you will eventually come to a soletary bench. Perfect for that romantic 'stroll' especially with a dramatic sunset/rise. Apart from that there is nowhere worth visiting.
  • the square eh
  • Doon the square where all the neds hang out.To appear like them you must think you are the hardest people in Stoney and say EH alot
  • Doon the minner wi ma mixy! (when i was 12 obviously)
  • where all the bams hang out is the square like laura spence(beute) and all the cool crew chill
  • Commie - Sheltered area to do the business!!!! Leisure Centre - Fine place for when its not raining!!!!!!!!!! Country - Great in the summer!!!!!!!!! Mr X's House - Class, every weekend!!!!!!!!!
  • Michies Doorway -Many a wench been fondled in that quiet secluded spot
  • The Square! I mean where else can you see 12 year olds spewing their ringers, harbour slags fighting over some farmer and all the local 'Monginators' beat each other to a pulp? It's all round, good quality, entertaining, family fun.
  • The Market Square at 12noon sunday to see the greatest football team in Stonehaven turn up to make the journey to Aberdeen. This team is Royal Madrid, a team formed out of the own money of six of stonehaven's finest young men - Andy Doc, Combie, Root, Tholl, Dave and Titch. Meet there and go and watch a real team play. Regular as clockwork, every sunday nobody is late except Mowgli!!
  • The infamous Kennel where you can go and see every person over the age of 15 (and most of the people who aren't) wasted beyond all recognition, bying packets of chewing gum and ordering pints of water like thery were going oot of fashion, ken. You'll probably bump into one of the local dealers offering to introduce you to Mr Bishi( a sound guy by the way), or maybe they'll try and sell you a rolex or crown for a fiver.
  • Woodcot Park, especially Castle Greytholl, where all the hard men live and other hard men come to hang out. The leader of the pack is Iain Grant and his friends are Steven Beatt, Dave Hart, Andrew Doc and John Dickson. There is not alot else to do in stoney so hanging out at Iain's is the best, drinking and smoking.
  • We like going to the fenion market
  • Definately Dunnottar woods, the Grandstand at the back of the school, or the beach - YEAH IF YOUR A TEENY BOPPER!!
  • i like going to the sandy beaches of stonehaven and the warm blue water. hee hee. also the best places to go are "somerfield" and "i mac frames" just next to farmffods and the bus stop which is across from that wonderful ahim ahim pub "the stoney bar" where i do enjoy talking to people who "look" my age. So from this 8 year old i say goodbye.
  • The Vennel! Meet all the local farmer dudes who are there every weekend drinking whiskey, wearing wrangler jeans, tartan shirts and tackety boots, BEWARE farmers are forward! Your bound to meet a certain ginger haired farmer at the vennel on saurdays!
  • If you are anyone speacial and one of the local boy racers then the place to be is the leisure centre car park. Especially in winter where all the hand breakers are done.
  • The red shelter down the harbour
  • The leasure centers ok and there is rumours of a park and the square are the half decent ones
  • down the beach where all the nutters go, Stephen fraser, Billy Balmer, Craig Watson, Christopher.S, sim and Greame Cousin and Tom hearty
  • The square, obviously!!!!!!!!!
  • Cheers Drop in Centre, Cowie Lane
  • There's no Commodore anymore . It is going to be a Tescos.
  • Post Office in main street or leisure centre by the beach.
  • The hook-up-spot is the Town Square for the local "neds", and the less criminally insane usually go for walks in Dunnottar Woods up to the Quarry or Gallow Hill (good walk).
  • The Leisure Centre.

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All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: emma macezik, sdfd, jj, Colin Patterson, muff hufler, Nikki, floosy, Mands, Jonah, Gov, eat my pussy, richard tench, davey, speeg, Aaron Wilson, Amanda, Davy, Naw mate , Richard Scott, fiona ferguson, Gordo Davidson, alexander pittendreigh, pa kis smell, jan, matthew hienz, rikki, will, blutoo 57, you know, The King, carlene, Dace, Chris Officer, Simon, Gary Matthews, John Smith, gli, Darren Geddes, AndrewConnor, bill, Gordon Finnie, Anonymous, Elaine Smith, Andrew Macnair, johnn mcgrar, Groot, Allan mackie, martin smith, mike, Peter David, sctwng, conourbation, howie, Phil smith, S.Matthews, Dave MacDonald, Craig Philip, Gael Gibson, Alex, aunty al, gemma, Rach, Gary, Mr Dong, Bussell Crutch, Tina, Midget, Lesley, random, Holsten, dawson, ysl, Sheep Shagger, Coolin, tulip, Carrie & Adele, Jon, the rock, shannon steel, John Shire, HAHA, Mev, bob harley, jerry s, Me again, andrew, PibbleJibble, Myra T, Amanda Begbie, raquel, stoneygirl, Me, Tristen Barrett, muff bag , WEEZLE, carol, Diane Cheyne, Scott, Piccard, Caroline Gullion, richard q scott, hahahha, Paul, scott reid, fester, steve scott, smegma , Graham, Fitlike, nicki macanoly, Miss Judged, Beel, Jane, jim bob, scott wallace, Stacy, stu, Iain, michael stone, Stewart McGregor, roger, CockJobble, Amy burns, john, jobbieface, Kelly muir, Hardy Biff, johnnomates, Vernon Wells, E-wan, Graham Johnson, Merk, generic, Adelle Smith, Grant Morris, Alan McCombie, nikki s gordon, FannyFlaps , lady, Andrew Doherty, graeme sutherland, GHM, Andrew Connor, andy, mongo, unknown, Rachel, martin lees, ArseHole, Jibby Jobby, barry hoowie, keyboardgangster, JobbieCock, BigDong, karl kennedy, claire mccoy

Last updated: 2017-01-08

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