The Knowhere Guide

The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else in Stonehaven, Aberdeenshire*

The things which can't be categorised

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The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else
  • Stoney is dead, the pubs are dead. People would rather shoot up in the allys up Brickfield.
  • Stoney is a haven for Anal Sex.
  • Andrew Spinks once took a poo in a bath and ate it. Dunno if it was in Stoney or Glasgow but its pretty funny! LOLOL
  • Leaflets should be posted door to door about local events!
  • stoney needs to reinvent itself instead of being stuck in 70s time warp.
  • The council yard at Spurryhillock ind est. Yes you can see many statues here. Some claim to be bosses!But its only claims to their tiny minds. Jesus these guys are freaks of honest nature.
  • mark
  • the best days of stoney are gone and cant be replaced as it has turned from a rural good fun place into a money grabbing hole now thanks to all the oil workers
  • porty is best
  • Dont go to Stonehave: its shit. Notice that all the entries for Stonehaven look like they have been written by moronic apes with advanced senility. I know Mackie Academy teaches English; why don't they teach spelling?? Furtherly I would just like to register my intense dislike for anybody who hangs around the Square, the beach, the school, or just hangs out (i.e. acts like a twat who thinks they own the place) anywhere but particularly Sim (who is a greasy, sleazy ball of wank) Greame Cousin (who should be in prison and anally invaded) and Tom Hearty (who, although his mum is a milf, cannot string two brain cells together let alone two sentences) And yes I realise I probably shouldn't have bitched about everybody else's spelling because I can't spell either. At least I can still be smug about my superior punctuation...
  • I have one gripe about stonehavenso bear with me on this one. Why has stoney gone downhill over the years?? Im only 23 and i can still remember the Feein Market being really good and heaps of stalls and pipe bands and a really good laugh now its just a couple of stalls and a heap of mess no town spirit at all. The fun run and half marathon days used to attract a good crowd with the army setting up stalls and assault courses now its just a start and finish line with no crowd same can be said for the harbour hi-jinks if i can notice this and im only 23 i hate to think what the older generation think about this!!
  • ha ha ha, nice web site, keep the shit comming n i`ll keep selling the shit to numb the stonehaven pain
  • stonehaven seems to have a few wide people who have not yet been lashed by the chosen ones this will happen very soon
  • Andrew doherty why the hell was he mentioned??? as one of stonehavens finest??? he has only moved form glasgow and now thinks he runs the place
  • Stonehaven? thats where that handsome guy Bob lives. He's a legend
  • Feein' market in june,loadsa laughs,ull have to b there,cant really b explained. One shop thats a gud laugh to look at 'THE PHO O F CT RY or the 'photo factory,the works good fun tho,great pay too! Little bit of background info,Stonehaven has a well suited nikname - StoneDhaven,yes there is a good 'UNDERGROUND' drugs scene.IT actually goes on in poeples faces,shocking. The police however cant find anything better to do than move innocent people from the square, WHERE ELSE ARE WE MENT TO GO?
  • Stonehaven was - and I hope still is - what I remember it as. Mackie, Larnach's Chip Shop, the Commodore, the open air pool, Arduthie, the old Picture House on Allardice Street - remember the Planet of the Apes and the 'Coming Soon' sign - 1973 - and the fact there was still a cinema in a place like Stonehaven?? Long summers, even if it was never so hot, the smell of roses in a garden, berry picking, tatty picking, fireballs, the 'Dairy' on Mary Street and the 'Bay Hotel' aka Clashfarquhar full of wee old wifies who used to throw their empties over the wall of the old Free Church on Ann Street ?? ..... and finally the days when we were at Arduthie, it was the seventies and the world was a good place...
  • STONEHAVEN SUCKS
  • it's so pointless having an outdoor pool 'cos we only have about 3 days of sun, if we're lucky AND each year they try to close it down.
  • Absolutly no tidys left for us decent girls,they're either gay,too stuck up,locked up or wanted or just gay. Whats going on? Too many pervs and peadophiles too,cant go anywhere with out some drunk trying to grope you.what is this time coming to?
  • The commy fuckin kicked ass.
  • Local wildlife - enormous range of birds year-round, occasional seals, deer on Bervie Braes.
  • singing postie
  • who want to put more in, everyone just wants out!!!!
  • Stonehaven is the place time forgot full of moronic incestuous inbred individuals. A night here will have you praying for death to come quickly. Thats if someone at the Vennal does not try it sooner. Stay away at all costs (has anyone seen Deliverance)
  • I would just like to say that 2 many youngsters are approaching me to buy them alcohol, IT'S NOT ON!!!!!!!
  • Stoney you rock my world
  • Stonehaven's quite nice really, if you avoid the neds.
  • Stoney is the best place in the world to live in Summer (the one day that is) and the worst place in winter. Cauld icy winds bla -in in yer face. Not far fae Muchalls - site of some of the worlds most frequent UFO spots - pre-dates Bonnybridge by several decades.Quite why aliens would want to visit Muchalls and the mearns is more of a mystery then their existance." We have travelled the Universe - solved every Scientific problem - traversed time and tampered with the very fabric of existance itself - what shall we now do - I know lets visit Muchalls!!! (and maybe Stoney - the place where Killer lives..)
  • To have the best time and a great laugh go down the harbour (it's not dodgy, honestly)
  • There are NO decent shops of any description that I recall.
  • The local folk club meets every Friday in a local hotel. In July each year they hold a very popular international Folk festival in the town.

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Credits

All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: emma macezik, sdfd, jj, Colin Patterson, floosy, Mands, Jonah, Gov, eat my pussy, richard tench, davey, speeg, Amanda, Richard Scott, fiona ferguson, Gordo Davidson, alexander pittendreigh, pa kis smell, jan, matthew hienz, rikki, will, blutoo 57, you know, The King, carlene, Dace, Chris Officer, Simon, Gary Matthews, John Smith, Darren Geddes, AndrewConnor, bill, Gordon Finnie, Anonymous, Elaine Smith, Andrew Macnair, johnn mcgrar, Groot, Allan mackie, martin smith, mike, sctwng, conourbation, howie, S.Matthews, Dave MacDonald, Craig Philip, Gael Gibson, Alex, aunty al, gemma, Rach, Gary, Mr Dong, Bussell Crutch, Midget, Lesley, random, Holsten, dawson, Sheep Shagger, Coolin, tulip, Carrie & Adele, Jon, the rock, John Shire, Mev, bob harley, jerry s, andrew, PibbleJibble, Amanda Begbie, raquel, stoneygirl, Tristen Barrett, WEEZLE, carol, Diane Cheyne, Scott, Piccard, richard q scott, Paul, scott reid, fester, steve scott, Sneaky-sneaky, Graham, Fitlike, nicki macanoly, Miss Judged, Beel, Jane, jim bob, scott wallace, stu, Iain, michael stone, Stewart McGregor, roger, CockJobble, john, jobbieface, Hardy Biff, johnnomates, Vernon Wells, E-wan, Graham Johnson, Merk, generic, Adelle Smith, Grant Morris, Alan McCombie, nikki s gordon, lady, Andrew Doherty, graeme sutherland, GHM, Andrew Connor, andy, unknown, Rachel, martin lees, ArseHole, Jibby Jobby, barry hoowie, JobbieCock, karl kennedy, claire mccoy

Last updated: 2011-05-29

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