The Knowhere Guide

The Worst Things in Swanley, Kent*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

You can tell us more about Swanley.

The Worst Things
  • The people in Swanley that have there heads shoved so far up there fucking arse it is a fucking wonder they can fucking breathe
  • The roads out
  • ALL THE SPUNK BUCKET SINGLE MOTHERS WITH LOADS OF KIDS BY DIFFERENT FATHERS
  • Marcus Dilibero
  • To many wankers in swanley
  • The amount of SLAGS who just want babies so they dont have to work And i know a few SLAGS in Swanley
  • The amount of ARSEHOLES in swanley
  • - she gave me and my m8 a night we will never ever forget! Swanley needs more girls like this!
  • i disagree with the comment about Donna - top girl in my opinion
  • JORDON WIGGINS IS THE BIGGEST FLOP IN SWANLEY ANYONE COULD DO THE SKINNY RUNT OVER
  • Swanley market, THE PLACE IS A BLOODY MESS!!!!!!!!
  • ALL THE CHAVS ROUND HERE THAT CANT FUCKING TALK WHO SAY THINGS LIKE BOY ETC LEARN HOW TO FUCKING TALK AND NOT TALK LIKE A CHAV
  • MILLY PETHIG
  • im sorry but everyone that says all pikeys live here LOL i live in swanley and im not a pikey so shut up saying all pikeys live here idiots.. how about you live in swanley to see what its really like yeah some scum live here sorry where not amazing and stuck up knobs like some of you haha please go get some respect for other people you lowlife pricks "BOIIIIII TAKE OATH" no.
  • The people that live in it!! they're all pikie inbreds, the men are desperate and the females (if you can call them that) are all tattoo'd whores that walk round with attitude and smell of piss.
  • The Lack of stuff to do
  • Nathan Twycross, just beat him up please!
  • pikys and people who think there is NOT a Mcdonalds in swanley, swanley just fails at life!
  • people called dona with a kid called leonie are little pricks that ruin marriages and are little sluts with out a thought, told many lies lately? how many std's have you spreaD?
  • ppl who fink der all hard boiiiiiiiiiiiii
  • THE PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY TOO GOOD FOR EVERYONE ELSE AND SIT HERE ALL NIGHT CHATTIN SHIT BOUT SWANLEY. IT MITE NOT BE PERFECT, BUT NOWHERE IS ANYMORE.
  • NOTHING THERE ARE NOTTTT ANY PIKIES HERE
  • aint alot to do but it aint as bad as all yous lot keep makin it out 2 be!!!
  • aint alot to do but it aint as bad as all yous lot keep makin it out 2 be!!!
  • PIKKIES
  • Coming home from work in the evening
  • EVERY BODY IN SWANLEY THAT THINK THEY R BETTER THAN ANY1 ELSE
  • Beware of the Ryan's famlily in Moultain Hill.
  • EVERYONE WHO LIVES IN SWANLEY
  • LIVING IN THIS FUCKING PLACE SWANLEY IS A SHIT HOLE
  • Breeding ground of 60's bands such as "Cyclones", "Dominators", "Kossacks" (later "Rituals"), "Limeys", "Hi Jacks", "Vostoks", "Stringbeats" etc. all who didn't go on to much better things...
  • The town was designed as a place for people who commute into London for work to go home to at night. Consequently, there is nothing there for the residents since the people living there originally were supposed to be just going home and resting before they took the train back into London to do another day's worth of wage-slaving. The worst thing about the town is the disappointment felt when the local council had told us that we would be getting a bowling alley and then it was built and it was actually an indoors bowling green. From 10pin to indoor bowls is quite a let down for a teenager with sod all to do....
  • nothink
  • The roads in!!!!
  • The litter that ignorant people drop even though there are bins
  • Its a commuter town and is treated as such.
  • the lully and the people who go there
  • alot of travellers and pikies have moved to swanley from star lane in the last 5 years.
  • counsel estates
  • The worst things... probably the pikies and the wannabe-pikies... the people of Swanley are not all like this, I promise... some of us are decent folk... seriously!! And we are not all ugly (thank you very much), tracksuit wearing, car stealing inbreeds... the people who have said this have obviously only sampled the St Mary's estate population (sorry, Clare!!)... drive towards Crockenhill and you will find the High Firs Estate where there are people who do not end their sentences with "Mother die!", are not pregnant by 16 and do not work at McDonald's or up by that window place opposite ASDA!!!
  • NOTHING TO DO
  • Pikies!! Think they are soooo hard!! knobs
  • For all those out there that are less fortunate (if you can read that is) Swanley is a tiolet, not just that but a chemical toilet. Ive seen some horrendus places of da pikevill worship, Aldershot, Whitby (Manchester) Kabul, but they are preferable to here & more people are equiped with basic knowledge like how to talk, not shout, scream or use fists, they have joy...& not just on dole day. Kids have 2 parents...its an old fashioned concept the inhabitant mutant beast pikeys of swanley could try? 2 things that make swanley great.1 Asda. 2 the old Asda. I disagree that swanley is full of hookers, it cant be, 3 reasons, birds are too ugly, no-ones got any omoney to buy anything cept fags, & lastly, pikeys dont buy, they just steal.... less promiscuious places would call it rape. I love it though there, cos when I drive through, after the hardest of days, sacked from my job, bird dumped me, family wiped out by a terminator, I can still have a jolly good laugh at the ill educated morons who occupy valuable living space which would be better used as a shite dump....oh it is! xxxxx
  • Other people's stereotyped preconceptions of the residents and the nature of Swanley in general. (Hope most of you out there understood that, seeing as though you can't spell the simplest of words!! Dumbasses!!)
  • THE PIKIES THE PPL WHO SWEAR BLIND THERE IS A McDONALDS IN SWANLEY
  • THE PIKIES THAT PLACED THEIR CARAVANS BY THE RAILWAY LINE BY THT STATION DIDN'T FALL ON2 THE TRACKS :-(
  • why do the sad boys meet up the oaks and just sit there in their cars for hours before going home????? One word 4u guys..... DUMB
  • The Pikies (i.e all inhabitants) & the place!!! Too much else 2 say! Oh and there's is NO McDonalds!!
  • The girls in Swanley are the ugliest I've ever seen Allegedly interbreeding is rife here
  • Fun.Punk.Nicholas Chown.NO! Barry Cook!
  • Update on the water fountains. Swanley had several fountains built allegedly at a cost of 90,000. 2 years later they have all ceased to work. They now lay as an epitaph to a dead town.
  • The fountain at the bottom of the hill. It cost 1,000's and was switched on to great acclaim a year ago. 2 weeks later it broke down. It hasn't worked since
  • Miserable people who spend two hours commuting into London every day. Lack of things to do in the town.
  • It SEEMS dead but it's not really. It's so handily placed!

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Credits

All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: julia, francesca and becky, Nigel, jim, Matt, billy king, Gregory Little, MYKAL LYNCH, Danni, anikka, Annette, stoner, Antoine delvan, Bern Finch, i luv billy king xx, lauren, Jhon, Krissy, steve, Nick, Black Metal Knight, Fergal Lynch, Mark Luffman, Tom H, Clare Elcombe, Ryan Smith, Jim Tuhey, kaz, Amy, Louise, dem gold, nicola, anon, Col, tramp, Matt S, SWANLEY - PEEP, beth, JONJO, ian sturt, Fergus, Big Stew, satans representative, someone in manchester, fatboysay@hotmail.com, Fiona, shane, vic, David Lynch, Ryan, tracey boswell, generic, beverley ogles, big boy, HARRY, Kym, Mark McGee, no-one, fiona and olivia, Twemlow, Frank, giggy, andy, secret peter, Silent Bob, vicky, Hector, shell, fred, stuart, helen korn, aimee, Mr Brown, jeff, olivia, colin, george

Last updated: 2017-02-07

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