The Knowhere Guide

The Worst Things in Swindon, Wiltshire*

The entirely missable and worth mentioning because of it

You can tell us more about Swindon.

The Worst Things
  • That god damned Christmas tree on the magic roundabout!!!
  • Remember : if you purchase anything in this town and if its worth a few quid, then also purchase a claw hammer and some nails ( unless you are posh then you could buy a brad nailer ) why ? to nail the friggin thing down of course, cos these little chavtastic inbread retards that are our future will skank anything, eg: i put an old dead telly in our new tellys old box ( confusing but stay with me on this ) i then placed the box behind my car with a mountan bike wheel and 2 tyres , ready for a skip run later, .............guess what ? i nip in for a quick brew, 20 minutes later i return ready to hit the tip and wow way...... its all gone , much like placing your pride and joy mountain bike in the back of your garden due to spraying your old rgt motorbike panels in the garage, ( meaning my bike stayed in the garden over night ) its in my back garden, its behind a closed 6 ft high gate , i live in a reasonable area on a private estate "working class" i wake up next day and "bastards" have stolen my one off unique mountain bike with biopace chain set,and mavic ceramic rims built by yours truly, panaracer smoke tyres , onza porci grips, rock shox forks,and lx - xt mechs. like a twat i forgot to remember we live in a nailed down world , and our splendid police didnt even look into it, even though it was blatently obvious who nicked it, heheheheh still time is of the evernesence huh , hehehehehe. what goes around comes around ,.......eventually.
  • Chavs and louts. Just one is one too many and Swindon has much more than one... Almost all of West Swindon. New developments behind the new hospital. Traffic lights replacing roundabouts! I guess too many people can't drive properly. Lanes painted on roundabouts to help the people that can't drive properly! Stupid cycle paths that are no use to anyone and designed by idiots.
  • shaw fucking shops luke wien rob arnold cocks
  • living there. Trevors (Whams).
  • the police have been cutting down on prostitution. I can hardly find any girls now willing to have sex with me! It's not my fault I am 4'9, and 15 stone, i wear glasses, and only have one ear.
  • The narrow minded, uncultured atmosphere in the place - aren't I glad that I'm moving away
  • the number of out of this world strange looking people clogging up the town centre on a saturday with loads of pound land bags and carrying metal washing line stands .and desparate junkies looking for one more item to steal so they can have another fix
  • Ugly. Any good buildings died a long time ago and replaced with lobotomy architecture.
  • No more real pubs, the endless pubs turning into restaurants
  • The fact that the council have consistently managed to allow the most ugly buildings ever to be constructed here. And that the council took over the original FREE Swindon Jazz festival and made people pay for tickets instead.
  • Spongers and beggers in every town centre shop doorway from 5pm onwards. Little people , with an attitude who think they are hard. The so called town centre pub security thing, that allows no-marks and bouncers (arn't they they same thing ?? )to f**k around with toy radios
  • there are plenty of these, especially the dickheads who try to ruin everything when your trying to have a skate and security guards, they are by far the worst thing goin on in this town, its ridiculous, you cant skate anywhere without recieving a lecture from a bald guy in a suit or in more serious cases, a banning notice.
  • goths
  • No independent shops, all the expansion out of town when there's loads of empty space in the centre. No really great buildings in the town centre. The big vacant fields by North Star college. Everyone runs the town down. SOME of the people (not all) in the town run it down. The state of the Mechanics. No big effort to put the canal back through the centre of town. Attitude of people to kids, moaning they shouldn't hang about, then moaning they don't want a skatepark near their house/moan they don't want to pay for it. Keep going, the skatepark'll happen!
  • The Best Things
  • The bottom of town on a weekend night a veritable rainbow of swearing and shouting Ben Sherman. It's bad, like a cattle market old scrawny cows mixing with youngsters kitted out from "Tammy" all as pissed as each other and starting "rucks". God Love it!
  • Swindon, Pikeys, lots of dealers
  • The M4 back into swindon
  • Roundabouts. I do not understand how such a 'small' town needs so many roundabouts. It is not rational.
  • on any given day in my opinion . there is more beggars junkies shoplifters thiefs scumbags in town than shoppers just sit at the bridge street cross and watch them doing there stuff it costs fifty quid for shopping and another fifty in loose change for the beggars. in my chain of thought this is not pleasent experiance
  • Swindonians!
  • the local council leaving all the old buildings to rot then wondering why they mysteriously get burned down after twenty years or was that just someones fag end blowing in the wind or maybe a ?
  • the nice blokes must b hiding! its smelly, nowhere to go, expensive good things dont last n everything gets demolished the only band that ever comes the oasis is status quo..
  • the stupid idea to use the smart looking renault building for the biggest indoor flea market in the uk is the dafftest thing the council has ever come up with.
  • Magic Roundabout
  • The complete apathy in the town. The beer culture. The Town (footie) slowly sliding into receivership. Why don't my friends move (I am!)
  • the councils idea of building trendy up market flats and wine bars right next door to retierment flats in a conservation area in the oldest area of the town who the fuck would want to buy a flat next door to a fucking night club any way and as for the pensioners i suppose they wont live that long listening to that shit
  • Bloody cars
  • Swindon is another town twinned with itself full of thick, inbred, webbed fingered lazy eyed pond life. The place must have the biggest ration of kappa shell suites to population anywhere outside Liverpool. Its also full big issue sellers (an overflow from Bath I presume) and rehoused illegal immigrants.It also needs its town centre bulldozing. Sorry but thats the way it is. PS and Arkells Brewery beers Swindons own beery laxative.
  • Vandalism, high level of pregnancies, pidliophilies
  • A lot of the locals don't know they're onto a good thing. urban sprawl town centre has the same shops as every other town. The central library is a portacabin - books displayed face on to fill in space(deeply embarrasing to show visitors)
  • the muggins esp on old people if its u then cutt it out man ur not cool! graffti too why do u have to tag your name everywhere eh? eh?
  • Swindon is without doubt the biggest scum-sucking one-horse Market Town shitpit I have ever visited.
  • Townies, people who fink there gangstarz, Swindon
  • Plastic "Slapper Pubs" at the bottom of town.
  • Swindon in gerneral
  • Lack of things to do
  • Somehow, whenever I leave, the whole damn ethos seems to follow me like leprosy.
  • The limited amount of decent men in this god damn town!
  • Trying to get a taxi on a Friday/Saturday night - even trying to book a taxi on a Friday/Saturday night - even expecting taxis to turn up or still be running after 9pm on a friday or Saturday night. THe taxis in swindon are like rocking horse shit...enough said?
  • trafic, weather, swindon town football team,
  • All the down town 'chain' pubs and Mission night club. The girls... how come we have one of the highest pregnancy rates in the whole of the UK when the girls are all so high and mighty and set their standard no lower than Brad Pitt (as long as he pays for everything)? The fact that everyone who doesn't live here takes the piss out of the place because it's 'funny' to do so.
  • Apathy
  • The endless sprawling housing developments which have destroyed the tranquility of West Swindon The bewilderingly small gene pool. Swindon must be one of the most inbred towns in Britain
  • Lots of 12-16 year old mouthy tossers with mobiles and puffa jackets like to prance about.
  • endlessly hearing about how "wonderful steam engines were", and how "it's a shame we don't build them anymore" and how great is was "inside" (all from ex GWR/BREL saddo's)
  • Attitude town of England.
  • The late number 18 bus on Friday nights!
  • Club San Tropez at the top of Victoria Hill. Worse than you could imagine. Used to be called Zoe's. No motorbikes allowed in bus lanes (unlike Bristol). Nowhere for kids to ride their motorbikes. We need some land somewhere that kids are allowed to ride on.
  • The Octagon the scrotes in the Brunel Centre Park
  • The lack of any decent music whatsoever.
  • ZOE's Health & Massage "Club"!!! Near the top of Victoria Hill. Fantastically expensive, fantastically bad fantastic rip-off! Don't go there! Nick
  • It is Swindon
  • London and Bristol are not really close enough...
  • People have no sense of style - all wear the same and have no knowledge of music or anything remotely cool. If you don't believe me go to Yate's or Route '66.
  • One Way Streets and dork drivers who don't uderstand the traffic system and have probably lived here like forever!

Search Knowhere for something else:


All the information in the Knowhere Guide has been contributed by users over the years. No one person is responsible for it all and not all contributors will agree with all the opinions included.

Parts of this information have been supplied by: Martin Williams, sophie, meadow, Gary B, shaun francome, Seb, Chris, mike & baz, J, Rich, caz, Paula Daydream, juboy, Smalley, Michael Howard, nobby, Mike Jones, Miss N. Hallinan, derek williams, kate, Robin Hodson, A Bint, Robin Sayer, Elodie Martin, Jeff, Tom, wilf, Geeb, Barry Clarke, beccie, val, dave watts, M Lea, Karsten Evans, sarah, Diana, helen, Jason Baker, swindons finest, Nick Pettefar, Sam Pavone, Matt Sloper, Mike, me, James Savage, craig brooks, tracey, Dug Wolfsohn, gemma, DAVE, henry, Sam, Jo, conrad evans, Andrea Giles, Denise, lezter, Niki, darren, Eyem, Laurence Elliott, ALBERT, chris harrow, andy smith, steve cole, Vikki Howlett, weasel, kayleigh, Liam Corrigan, db, Karl Moores, Steve Shearan, caren, Peter Tattley, larone, sian, Steve Savory, Mike Clapham, Angel, dermot fuller, Peter Cruise, Purple, Roger Mepstead, Sara, Andy Cox, jon smythe, Fungus, Joe Smith, Karl Moore, Michelle Meyers, Derryl George, Alexander Hickson, Nick, Phil, jason, anna, Ffion Aiken, simon moffatt, Vicki, Marcel, marty walsh, Robert, StuPC, david, lee, gareth jones, Jamie Habgood, dan, Frenchy, Spam, "steve foggoa :aka :"foggie, Diego, JXT, matty bane, jimmyhyslop, So-damn Insane, james hyslop, v, Ash, generic, Swindonian, Jason Pinkney, Mark, Berty Bassett, Neeky, JCB, allan caple, Jennifer Miles, Dean Farrelly, andy, Adam, Cristina Newton, shirley, Kevin Whitefoot, Vikki, Ian Riley, tog, Sean, jez watkins, Hannah, Tom Janson, Lucy Smith, Gemma Nicol, Neeky Rabbit, hodge, Mike [Manx]Friend, Nick Maggs, Alexandra, Matt Biggs, Cosmo, Nathan Montague, Tiki, Hels, Jon Ratcliffe

Last updated: 2009-01-01

More stuff about Swindon

Sports Shops

The Best Things

Live Music Venues

Recording Studios, Rehearsal Rooms, PA Hire

Cringing Cult of Celebrity

Record Shops

Hookup Spots

Favourite Building

Local Bands

Buskers, Street Entertainers

LAN Parties, Tournaments, LAN Game Cafes, WiFi Meets, PSP/DS Meets

Sports Clubs and Facilities

BMX Trails, Street Spots

Cafes and Coffee Shops


Related Links

Computer and Games Shops

Alternative Lifestyle

Bicycle Shops, Bike Sales and Repairs

The Worst Things

Cheap Food

The Stuff We Can't Fit In Somewhere Else

Hostels, B&Bs, Hotels, Accommodation

Clubs (Dance Music) and Music Bars

Musical Instrument Shops and DJ Gear

Arts, crafts and such

Magazine and Comic Shops

Skateboarding Spots


Clothes Shops, Shoe Shops, Fashion and Bargains

Demolish It Now Building

Skateboard Shops

Swindon Knowhere Board

If you are unhappy with any of the content on this page, turn on the flags.

Mail our automatic mailback service at for helpful information and further details of how to contact Knowhere. Thanks.
Knowhere regards your privacy with utmost importance. Read our privacy policy.
Read more about Knowhere.