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Subjects 1 to 20 of 3198    next>> Today's messages are highlighted in red
Revelations by veepee (Member 10294016) on 19-Oct-2014
Quite be-fitting to this day of the week I woke up this morning to find that I actually know Jack Shit after all!   
  • Re: Revelations by Scum (Member 10233909) on 20-Oct-2014
    I know Mr Shit as well

  • Re: Revelations by veepee (Member 10294016) on 21-Oct-2014
    Yeh but is he the same 'ol shit that I know?

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Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by veepee (Member 10294016) on 11-Oct-2014
Let me start the ball rolling with Fulwood Convenience Store, 214 Watling St Rd. Preston - a popular area for parking on match days. Park outside, go in, buy produce, come out, go into the Chinese next door, come back to your car and lo and behold A PARKING TICKET for £50. Nice way to treat customers. Use it at your peril!   
  • Re: Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 11-Oct-2014
    Erm, I`m not quite sure how the shop can be blamed for your ticket? Have they got a car park that you have to pay to use or summat?

  • Re: Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by veepee (Member 10294016) on 12-Oct-2014
    No, shop has 3 or 4 spaces outside for customer parking only which is fair enough to expect a ticket if you don't use the shop. The fact is this guy has lost himself more than the £50 it will cost me i.e over £1000 I spend in there a year. Business brain or what?

  • Re: Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by veepee (Member 10294016) on 12-Oct-2014
    They've got one if these private parking cowboys monitoring traffic. I didn't even find the ticket until by chance the following day. Instead of it being stuck to the screen or left behind a wiper it was jammed down the rear of the bonnet under the concealed part of the wiper mechanism. Bet they were banking on it falling off so I wouldn't even realise then hit me with double the fee after 14 days non-payment.

  • Re: Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by early doors (Member 10235862) on 12-Oct-2014
    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/
    Hope this helps.

  • Re: Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 12-Oct-2014
    Ah, right, I see now. The likleyhood is the shop will want nothing to do with this, they will claim the parking is administrated on their behalf by the cretin that gave you a ticket. Cowards way out, I got the same tale off Morrison`s once. My ticket was for taking up more than one space, although I was in a large van and the car park was only half full. So, I went out and tracked down the "operat... more >>

  • Re: Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 12-Oct-2014
    Nice find by the way ED.

  • Re: Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by veepee (Member 10294016) on 13-Oct-2014
    Cheers guys, will give the link a try.

  • Re: Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by Scum (Member 10233909) on 13-Oct-2014
    DO NOT PAY the fuckpig bastard cunts under any circumstances. here's a another link.

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=163

    Appeal to some gits called POPLA and it costs the pig fuckers £30 anyway.

  • Re: Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by veepee (Member 10294016) on 16-Oct-2014
    Well after reading your much appreciated links guys I have decided that the course of action is to let them swivel. Should they contact me then I shall be sending them an invoice for the time I have lost in reading their letter - and I must add I am a very slow reader.

  • Re: Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by veepee (Member 10294016) on 16-Oct-2014
    To be fair I will also give them 5 % discount for the laugh we had down the pub when I presented the letter to my mates.

  • Re: Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 16-Oct-2014
    Somewhere in the legislation governing this there are clear signage requirements, the days when they could put a miniscule notice thirty foot up the wall are long gone. Looking at the latest developments in the on street parking charges about to come into place in Barrow it`s going to become impossible to park anywhere for free.

  • Re: Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by Fray Bentos (Member 10255495) on 17-Oct-2014
    Firstly check what type of parking ticket it is. If it is council issued for parking on public property, then it should be obvious since it will have the council name on it, and it will be called a Penalty Change Notice, Excess Charge Notice, or if police issued, a Fixed Penalty Notice. You'll have to pay it because you broke the law and that is the fine. But if it’s a Parking Charge Notice (or ... more >>

  • Re: Shops which don't deserve your custom.. by veepee (Member 10294016) on 17-Oct-2014
    It is the latter so as you say Bollocks to 'em.

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Village Idiot Required by veepee (Member 10294016) on 10-Oct-2014
I wonder how many people would apply for the job if the position ever became advertised?   
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john barrow cottage by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 9-Oct-2014
Sell it, with the proviso that the buyer returns it to a dwelling. A blue plaque on the wall is all it needs.   
  • Re: john barrow cottage by early doors (Member 10235862) on 9-Oct-2014
    Quite agree.

  • Re: john barrow cottage by Scum (Member 10233909) on 9-Oct-2014
    How about a sweet shop?

  • Re: john barrow cottage by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 9-Oct-2014
    Wasn`t there a sweet shop there yonks ago? Wasn`t john barrow cottage though, it was further up the alley. Past the house with a tree growing in the living room but on the other side.

  • Re: john barrow cottage by Scum (Member 10233909) on 9-Oct-2014
    Jack Garth's shop? That goes back a bit. Cottage was a sweet shop recently though wasn't it?

  • Re: john barrow cottage by ivision (Member 10220143) on 9-Oct-2014
    it was a shop for yonks ........ and there was also one up the alley, the guy who now runs ulv sports club ran the j.b.c. shop for a few years

  • Re: john barrow cottage by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 10-Oct-2014
    Aye, that was Brian Cassidy. I think he was possibly the last one to try to run a shop there. It will always struggle as a grocery/off licence with it being only a stone`s throw from priory road co-op. It will have to find a unique product, dare I say quirk?

  • Re: john barrow cottage by veepee (Member 10294016) on 10-Oct-2014
    Twas indeed a sweet shop. 'Lucky Bags a speciality. Circa 1962 when I were a wee lad.

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Lightburn Teacher by Scum (Member 10233909) on 7-Oct-2014
Can't remember the name of a teacher at Lightburn, late 60s. Fat little cunt with a big beer belly, glasses, tash and curly grey hair. Who the fuck was he, names on tip of me tongue.   
  • Re: Lightburn Teacher by zap (Member 10216554) on 7-Oct-2014
    Mr Fox? Bit of a tyrant. Trained at the Himmler Charm School.

  • Re: Lightburn Teacher by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 8-Oct-2014
    I was gonna say mrs. larbalestier.

  • Re: Lightburn Teacher by Scum (Member 10233909) on 9-Oct-2014
    Aye, that's him. Fox. Wasn't the name I had in mind, but that's defo him. Larbelblaster? who was that then?

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Supermarket by Canal Dweller (Member 10295701) on 6-Oct-2014
Just heard to blokes in suits saying If it gets built it's going to be a M&S Food store. That's why Robinsons didn't name who it was. Makes Bloody Booths look cheap that place.   
  • Re: Supermarket by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 6-Oct-2014
    Great news for the Barrow economy

  • Re: Supermarket by early doors (Member 10235862) on 6-Oct-2014
    Can't see M&S doing all that civil engineering just to sell a few fish pies. It will be a full M&S or nothing and ,if built ,they will pull out of Barrow.

  • Re: Supermarket by Canal Dweller (Member 10295701) on 6-Oct-2014
    Robinsons doing the building M&S would be renting it of them. Those 1s you pull off motorway for. Bit like a service station, charge £5 for a butty.

  • Re: Supermarket by early doors (Member 10235862) on 6-Oct-2014
    ....and what happens to the rest of the building ?

  • Re: Supermarket by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 6-Oct-2014
    Would an M&S conform to the kus vision of quirk? Will the sentinels in Fountain st. give it their blessing? Will he shuffle over for a pack of new y fronts or a case of saint michael plonk? I will be sticking with the co-op me, only going to change if it`s a lidl or aldi.

  • Re: Supermarket by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 6-Oct-2014
    Nice to see the kogs have finally been defeated in Grange, after ten years gods waiting room is getting a tesco and a booths. I bet most of the original kogs will have shuffled off this mortal coil by now, and the rest will be basket cases. In between times the berners close initiative and the three p`s project have come and gone changing nowt. Puts it all in perspective really, have some people g... more >>

  • Re: Supermarket by zap (Member 10216554) on 6-Oct-2014
    I see the scumbrification/lakedistrictisation of Ulv continues apace. Theres now a letting agent opposite ye olde Sunne Hotel . Windows full of houses to rent in Windermere, Kendal and similar shit tips oop north. Give it 6 months.....???

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Manners by zap (Member 10216554) on 5-Oct-2014
Just returned from a local hostelry where most of the under 25s were eating like disabled pigs.seems to be an overwhelming desire to hold the fork a l'americain whilst trying to shovel into ever open gob with knife. Fuckin elbows armpits and food everywhere. The manners of arabs goats......
  
  • Re: Manners by Scum (Member 10233909) on 5-Oct-2014
    Know what you mean zap. Young scum holds his fork like its a fucking pen. Sometimes in't wrong hand as well. Caused a big bloody row during troughing a while back.

  • Re: Manners by early doors (Member 10235862) on 6-Oct-2014
    Probably the first time any of 'em had used cutlery. Normally they eat with their mitts ... McD's and Pizzas......FKN PEASANTS !!

  • Re: Manners by Terence Trent Derby (Member 10292850) on 6-Oct-2014
    The American way is actually the more traditional and was the old English method of using cutlery before we changed it so we could shovel food into our faces faster. Just like we used to say "Fall" until we got poncey and started saying Autumn. They just never changed. Etiquette and the idea that there should be rules on how to hold a fork is pretty fucking ridiculous it has to be said; we must ha... more >>

  • Re: Manners by Terence Trent Derby (Member 10292850) on 6-Oct-2014
    It's all just to create and reinforce the class system anyway. The same bullshit that says the queen's regional accent is better and more proper than ours.

  • Re: Manners by early doors (Member 10235862) on 6-Oct-2014
    when did we ever say ' fall ' ?

  • Re: Manners by Terence Trent Derby (Member 10292850) on 6-Oct-2014
    In the 17th century we used to say "fall" in England - a contraction of phrase "fall of the leaf". Emigrants to North America took it with them but we then gradually stopped using it and started using "autumn" exclusively. Basically, it went out of fashion here, but not there.

  • Re: Manners by early doors (Member 10235862) on 6-Oct-2014
    ......did you google that Terence ?

  • Re: Manners by Terence Trent Derby (Member 10292850) on 6-Oct-2014
    One of the few things I learned in school.

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is this dellow?? by ulverstonian (Member 10191731) on 2-Oct-2014
Cumbria police concerned for missing man, 70

Last updated at 22:20, Thursday, 02 October 2014

ULVERSTON and South Lakes police are concerned for the welfare of a missing 70-year-... more >>
  
  • Re: is this dellow?? by early doors (Member 10235862) on 3-Oct-2014
    Doubt it ,Dellow is 80+ and drove a Volvo before his stroke.

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Rotten apples... by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 27-Sep-2014
I could hardly contain myself as I arose this sunny morn! I harried to festoon myself in all manner of varieties of good English apples and hot footed to the village, thereto to conjoin in the festivities and celebrations of our glorious fruit! Fully expecting duck appling, toffee apples, dwile flonking, wassailing, Morris men and much much more, I was sorely aggrieved on my arrival at the Market ... more >>   
  • Re: Rotten apples... by Canal Dweller (Member 10295701) on 30-Sep-2014
    It was at Ford Park!!!

  • Re: Rotten apples... by veepee (Member 10294016) on 30-Sep-2014
    Pipped to it then?

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Man the barricades ...... by early doors (Member 10235862) on 26-Sep-2014
........Sainsburys are coming to Ulverston by stealth. They are not allowed to build a store but the sneaky bastards are bringing stuff in by the vanload. All you need to do is order on-line ! Can't wait to see one of their vans delivering to a certain address in Fountain St. !!!   
  • Re: Man the barricades ...... by Fray Bentos (Member 10255495) on 26-Sep-2014
    Interesting you should say that. I have it on excellent eye witness authority that one such Sainsbury's delivery operative was indeed set upon and verbally abused by a gang of KUS fundamentalists whilst going about his lawful delivering stuff business in t'Gill. I hadn't thought it could be true but it might well have been. I don't suppose the daft fuckers lie in wait for Asda or Tesco delivery vans.

  • Re: Man the barricades ...... by ivision (Member 10220143) on 27-Sep-2014
    must be coming from our ancient capital, lancaster, nearest store, get in boys (and possibly girls) and show the riff raff they're only riff raff :)

  • Re: Man the barricades ...... by veepee (Member 10294016) on 28-Sep-2014
    Ahh ..T'Gill getto, still as insular as ever.

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Lancastrian by Cloud (Member 10266536) on 21-Sep-2014
There it goes again! Shut and open, shut and open, shut and open

Will anyone who actually knows how to run a pub eventually own it, I wonder? (More likely it'll get knocked down)

To be fair, the tenants usually care and try their best, but it sounds like the company that owns it are complete numptys and won't suppo... more >>
  
  • Re: Lancastrian by early doors (Member 10235862) on 21-Sep-2014
    I reckon it's finished as a pub - make it into an Indian restaurant as has happened to a lot of pubs in other areas.

  • Re: Lancastrian by Cloud (Member 10266536) on 21-Sep-2014
    I blame Tesco and Costa. KUS will know what to do. :P

  • Re: Lancastrian by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 21-Sep-2014
    http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g499564-d2223179-r229492533-The_Lancastrian_Hotel-Ulverston_Cumbria_England.html#REVIEWS

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Greggs by early doors (Member 10235862) on 15-Sep-2014
Greggs - the home of greasy pasties - have rejigged their 'store' and put in seats and tables . Where's KUS when you need them ? this will lead to closure of at least one of the special town's caffs won't it ? No wait a minute ,the average Greggs customer wouldn't eat at a table init ?   
  • Re: Greggs by veepee (Member 10294016) on 15-Sep-2014
    Mmmmm Greggs hot sausage rolls and then the joy of discarding the greasy bag on the pavement.

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Special Ale by veepee (Member 10294016) on 14-Sep-2014
Does anyone know if I can still get a pint of special 'effin' ale in town? When last in the Brads many years ago a bloke asked me if I'd spilt his effin pint. I always thought that I might return to try one someday.   
  • Re: Special Ale by Dog Master (Member 10160482) on 14-Sep-2014
    Alcohol or Drugs?

  • Re: Special Ale by veepee (Member 10294016) on 14-Sep-2014
    Neither would be potent enough to defence one from that poisonous witch. She took my soul along with many other vulnerable fools. I fester here now in Menton awaiting the return of my cufflinks, penniless and without a proper hairstyle. Mezzo was right. Her baie complexion is witness to her indulgences. She feeds on men, masticates their souls like a piece of Grimsby, and spits them out into the g... more >>

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Special Ale by veepee (Member 10294016) on 14-Sep-2014
Does anyone know if I can still get a pint of special 'effin' ale in town? When last in the Brads many years ago a bloke asked me if I'd spilt his effin pint. I always thought that I might return to try one someday.   
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Pot death by ulverstonian (Member 10191731) on 13-Sep-2014
Anyone no who was found dead on the pot this morning   
  • Re: Pot death by veepee (Member 10294016) on 14-Sep-2014
    Ahh the hazards of things lurking beneath the rim. A common problem here in the tropics. One should always check before positioning for the ablution.

  • Re: Pot death by veepee (Member 10294016) on 14-Sep-2014
    I was once surprised by a bull elephant in such a position. How we laughed when we found out it actually belonged to a neighbour who had lost it down the plughole several days earlier.

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Veepee RIP by veepee (Member 10294016) on 11-Sep-2014
I am currently resting in peace. I figure if the dead can do it then so can I.   
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Selling off Sea Wood ? by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 7-Sep-2014
I see there`s a "for sale" sign gone up in the wood just past the lane up to the cattle grid at the bottom of the hill. Moe Persimmon homes?   
  • Re: Selling off Sea Wood ? by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 7-Sep-2014
    not moe, more.

  • Re: Selling off Sea Wood ? by Scum (Member 10233909) on 8-Sep-2014
    Its owned by the Woodland Trust, so maybe they're selling off a woodsman's cottage.

  • Re: Selling off Sea Wood ? by early doors (Member 10235862) on 9-Sep-2014
    Dunno about Seawood but thank God the Lantern House has been sold. I don't know anyone who ever set foot inside it and the only people who will miss it are those who were drawing a salary. Pseuds corner I call it. Lantern shite this week ,roads closed for fuck all.

  • Re: Selling off Sea Wood ? by morpheus (Member 10176970) on 10-Sep-2014
    good lord in heaven above. I popp here and it is a knowere place cos knowone is here/ what the fuck is going on / apparently a royal person came here. all I can here now is fuck shite music.. coming from north west of here./... any info

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Lastly Geoff by Special Agent Dale Cooper (Member 10295248) on 4-Sep-2014
Lastly Geoff,I have a train to catch.
You know my first Art House Movie,where Lynda and I shared a box of orgasms.
Some people compared it to a cross between De Sica and Vigo.
And yet Lynda's Uncle punched me out,not sure why maybe he did not like how I framed it.or lighted it,or maybe he had issues with me fucking his niece on cam,not sure,any thoughts.
  
  • Re: Lastly Geoff by Terence Trent Derby (Member 10292850) on 4-Sep-2014
    This how you show your respect for Geoff? By addressing talk like this to him? There has to be a better way to get some attention dear.

  • Re: Lastly Geoff by Special Agent Dale Cooper (Member 10295248) on 4-Sep-2014
    Geoff is my therapist this week,locum cover,he is standing in for Ronnie Laing.

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3.16 AM Rue Du Bac by Special Agent Dale Cooper (Member 10295248) on 3-Sep-2014
Geoff,
It would have to be on The Rue Du Bac at 3.16 am I would encounter Lou Dollion for the first time.
Marcel Marceau would shout YOU GO GUYS in a Brooklyn Accent.
Alas,I am a Basket Case and Dollions Mother is an asshole and Dollion picked Team Bruckheimer,Not Team Hepburm.
WORMS I TELL YOU.
Take Care Geoff.
  
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Mrs Scum wants a fucking dog! by Scum (Member 10233909) on 3-Sep-2014
No fucking chance, but she won't have it. I told her she could have one if I can name it after Wing Commander Gibson's black Labrador. She was alright with that till I told her the name. Then she started bellyaching about me shouting after it if it ran up market street on a Thursday. Anyway, she's fucking moaning about it now. I told her to fuck off and we're not getting one.   
  • Re: Mrs Scum wants a fucking dog! by Cloud (Member 10266536) on 3-Sep-2014
    lol

    Just call it Stay

  • Re: Mrs Scum wants a fucking dog! by Scum (Member 10233909) on 10-Sep-2014
    Ma Scum's given up on it now. Another name I quite fancied was a triple barrelled one. Bastard-Fucking-Cunt. A bit of a mouthful though.

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