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Subjects 1 to 20 of 1392 next>>	Today's messages are highlighted in red
Bloody hell it's all happening today!!	by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 2-Dec-2008
Just heard that Mavis has handed her notice in at the Hope..no word yet if they are keeping it open! Re: Bloody hell it's all happening today!! by zap (Member 10216554) on 2-Dec-2008 Passed Wendys new place earlier - yet more encouraging signs of progress i.i. folk in there working. I won't be happy tho till I see t'barfitters going in followed by the Urquell rep! Reply

Poor Bugger....R.I.P.	by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 2-Dec-2008
Police broke into MJ's house this morning and found his body....I feel really sad I used to enjoy a good banter with him. Re: Poor Bugger....R.I.P. by zap (Member 10216554) on 2-Dec-2008 WOD are you SURE about this? I live close to MJ and ain't seen any activity that you may associate with a sudden death. Re: Poor Bugger....R.I.P. by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 2-Dec-2008 Yes, am getting messages from his work. Cops reckon he's been dead about a week, probable overdose...thats officially what they told his HR Manager face to face Re: Poor Bugger....R.I.P. by zap (Member 10216554) on 2-Dec-2008 Poor old MJ. I too used to have a crack with him in the pub. Hope he now gets peace wherever he is. R.I.P. Reply

SNOW	by zap (Member 10216554) on 1-Dec-2008
BBC weather forecast says its going to now tonight. Better get the suntan cream and cozzy out then Re: SNOW by zap (Member 10216554) on 2-Dec-2008 JUst looked at t'Liars site. HEAVY snow across "the county", thinking I'd better stay in me igloo here in ULV I saw that the article mentioned such well known local spots as Carlisle, Brough and Penrith. These alarming revelations were accompanied by pics of some snowy footprints in an anonymous pavement, a pic of the roundabout at Furness Abbey where it looked like someone had spilled a bag o' su gar and one of Black Combe with a dusting on the very top. The Liar goes from bad to bloody appalling. ... more >> Re: SNOW by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 2-Dec-2008 In the 1950's we used to get proper snow, regularly every Winter. None of the schools closed, ever! I see on't news that schools are closed in East Lancs...nobody tries anymore, ferkin little anklebiters are too bloody soft and their teachers are no better! Re: SNOW by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 2-Dec-2008 Me Mam used to blame all't bad weather on them astronauts.....she may have had a point, bless her! Reply

Urgent Information needed !!!!	by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 1-Dec-2008
Has anyone seen MJ? Nobody's seen him for 3 weeks, his work are trying to find him but having no success...this could be serious guys !! I can forward any info to his work sraightaway. Re: Urgent Information needed !!!! by zap (Member 10216554) on 1-Dec-2008 I spotted him in Neville Street about Wednesday of last week. Not seen him in a pub though, fer ages. Re: Urgent Information needed !!!! by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 1-Dec-2008 Thanks zap, have forwarded that on. Re: Urgent Information needed !!!! by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 2-Dec-2008 Well, we know now...sigh! Reply

Madonna	by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 1-Dec-2008
Moved over here because she wanted to become "more British"......Now she's an unmarried Mum, with 3 kids, all by different fathers, and one of them is black.......Job done !! Reply

Champagne Superbooza	by zap (Member 10216554) on 1-Dec-2008
By eck Ike the old bubbly was goin down sharpish last night. That plus talk of dining at that posh frog caff leads me to the conclusion that you have acquired cash. Nigerian dollars mebbe?? Re: Champagne Superbooza by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 1-Dec-2008 Was just me wages, needed to chill after work. Hate working in pubs. Reply

Todays spam	by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 1-Dec-2008
UNITED NATIONS ASSISTED PROGRAMME) DIRECTORATE OF INTERNATIONAL PAYMENT AND TRANSFERS. UNITED NATIONS LIASION OFFICE LONDON UNITED KINGDOM WIRE TRANSFER/AUDIT UNIT Our Ref: WB/NF/UN/XX028 ATTN:DEAR BENE FICIARY: (YOUR COMPENSATION FUND UNN) How are you today? Hope all is well with you and family?You may not understand why this mail came to you. We have been having a meeting for the passed 3 months which ended 2 days ago with the UNITED NATIONS BOARD OF TRUSTEES AND AUDITORS with new secretary to the United Nation Mr. Ban Ki-moon. This email is to all the people that have been scammed in any part of the world, the UNITED NATIONS have agreed to compensate them with the sum of US$1,800,000,00 each. This includes every foriegn contractors that may have not received their contract sum, and people that have had an unfinished transaction or international businesses that failed due to Government problems etc. We found your name in our list and that is why we are contacting you, this have been agreed upon and have been signed. You are advised to contact Mr. Jim Ovia of ZENITH BANK NIGERIA PLC, as he is our representative contact him immediately for your Cheque/ International Bank Draft of USD1,800,000.00 This funds are in a Bank Draft for security purpose ok? so he will send it to you throuh Courier Services and you can clear it in any bank of your choice. Therefore, you should send him your full Name and tele phone number/your correct mailing address where you want him to send the Draft to you.Conatct Mr.Jim Ovia immediately for your Cheque: Person to Contact Mr.Jim Ovia e-mail address:mrjimovia01@mail.md OR mrjimovia2000@hotmail.com God bless you and your family. Hoping to hear from you as soon as you cash your Bank Draft.Making the world a better place MY BEST REGARDS. New secretary to the United Nation Mr. Ban Ki-moon. ... more >> Re: Todays spam by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 1-Dec-2008 Funny innit? How it's always Nigerians giving money away? Last I heard they haven't got a pot to piss in! Re: Todays spam by zap (Member 10216554) on 1-Dec-2008 At least you're gettin e-mail. All I get is ferkin ads for Mecca bingo, offers of expensive hols with Spanish hotel chains. The highlight is when I get "our latest offers" from Ann Summers which I signed up to one boozy night last summer. Do women actually use that sort of stuff? Reply

I'm bored......	by robert mugabe's love child (Member 10233672) on 29-Nov-2008
.....and penniless! What's a girl gotta do to get a drink round these parts? Re: I'm bored...... by robert mugabe's love child (Member 10233672) on 29-Nov-2008 Answers on a post card please. Re: I'm bored...... by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 29-Nov-2008 No use touting round here love, you'd be lucky to get 50p and a swig from a beer bottle.....and thats on a good night!!! Re: I'm bored...... by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 29-Nov-2008 Mind you...in my spare time role as mender of lonely hearts...there is a chap called zap..lonely and lovelorn looking for a nice young lady on which to squander..oops..I meant, share his fortune with! Re: I'm bored...... by robert mugabe's love child (Member 10233672) on 29-Nov-2008 Darn it! And there was me thinking Ulverston would provide me with all the answers! Re: I'm bored...... by zap (Member 10216554) on 29-Nov-2008 I think I may have met you one steamy night up the Limpopo, we drank Oranjeboom beer and discussed the pointlessness of existence viz a viz the oppresive rule of said Mugabe, or Black Bob as you referred to him. Yes WOD is right I am ripe for a Zimbabwean fling, have money and massive member akin to those of hippos in your benighted country. By the way is it true that before Zimbabwe had candles i t had electricity? Up the Selous Scouts! Get in touch me proud black beauty. ... more >> Re: I'm bored...... by robert mugabe's love child (Member 10233672) on 30-Nov-2008 Sadly this town just didn't do it for me. I've used and abused your pubs and pie shops during this weekend but I've decided to return to the homelands. I bid you all farewell. Re: I'm bored...... by zap (Member 10216554) on 1-Dec-2008 Well bugger me. If our fair town didn't do it for you then you're gonna be struggling in Bulawayo or Harare where beer is 6 million quid a pint and the contents of the pies depend on how pissed Black Bobs "security" forces got over t'weekend. Re: I'm bored...... by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 1-Dec-2008 Dried Zebra Dick and Billtong burgers are, I admit, difficult to come by hereabouts. Re: I'm bored...... by zap (Member 10216554) on 1-Dec-2008 Am sure Mo could provide them or a reasonable impression of them. That stuff he puts in kebabs is very like meat. Reply

Re: Gay Friendly Night Out	by Parklife (Member 10205970) on 28-Nov-2008
Only a few hours now until our coach trip departs for the sunny shores of Ulverston! We should arrive tomorrow lunchtime. We're all so excited! This is really just to say thanks to you ladies and gents for the info provided earlier in the year regarding the pubs in town. It will prove helpful. We're a fairly mixed group, but boy, do we know how to P-A-R-T-Y!!! Anyway, see you all tomorrow. Re: Re: Gay Friendly Night Out by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 29-Nov-2008 Heh heh..this lot should put the Dick back into Dickensian !! Reply

barrow match tonight	by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 28-Nov-2008
meself and zap will be in the big kings watching barra on setanic sports wiseolddave get ya self in lad. Re: barrow match tonight by zap (Member 10216554) on 28-Nov-2008 O yes. This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no foolin' around. Barrow to win 2-1.My other predictions - Ike pissed by 9.15pm, me shortly afterwards.I will make a complete twat of meself with a charming lady then fall over. Ike will punch the air when Barra score but will miss and belt the fella next to him. A brawl will ensue. Re: barrow match tonight by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 29-Nov-2008 Oh bollocks, didn't see this til late, but, what a great win...Man Yoo next?? Reply

We're on the Telly	by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 28-Nov-2008
North West Tonight..Barra people pissed...Blobbies on't Lanternhouse. The crowds will be flocking in tomorrow! Reply

drums	by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 27-Nov-2008
I will have that kit off you next week zap if still for sale. Looking at setting up a new order cover band! Reply

geoff dellow is a cunt	by chainsawman (Member 10162611) on 27-Nov-2008
so they all reckon on here , i dont actually know who you are but though you might like to defend the accusation Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by Geoff Dellow (Member 10233634) on 27-Nov-2008 I'll pass on that one! Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by Tyrone Thompson (Member 10017599) on 27-Nov-2008 So you're not actually denying it then??? Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 27-Nov-2008 Do you have plans to sort out out the state of the Ulverston pub scene Geoff? Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by Geoff Dellow (Member 10233634) on 27-Nov-2008 I'll go for that if it means that you buy me another drink ! In each pub . . . on nights of my own choosin g . . . with Jazz laid on . . . Braddylls ? ps Don't count on me visiting here too often! Don't want to pry! ... more >> Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 27-Nov-2008 Come on let’s have a drink in it, come along let’s have a smoke in it, come along let’s have a lock in, come along let’s have a lock in tonight. Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 27-Nov-2008 Obviously not with Geoff though! Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by Fishman (Member 10145553) on 28-Nov-2008 What's on the end of your pike ike! Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 28-Nov-2008 A homosexual walrus. Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 28-Nov-2008 I love the smell of Geoff Dellows musk gland, I love the smell of the Geoff Dellows beard, I love the smell of Geoff Dellows Highlights. So, come on let’s have a look at it, come along now let’s have a sni ff of it, come along now let’s have a little bit more. I love the smell of a flanel, I love the smell of an old oak panel, as I love the smell of the hair of a spaniel. So, come on let’s have a look at it, come along now let’s have a sniff of it, come along now let’s have a little bit more. I love the smell of a minstrel, I love the smell of Vince Hill, I love the smell of Spender’s espadrilles. So, come on let’s have a look at it, come along now let’s have a sniff of it, come along now let’s have a little bit, come along now let’s have a little bit, come along now let’s have a little bit more. ... more >> Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 28-Nov-2008 Bring it back ehy fishman! Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 28-Nov-2008 Beofre you go Geoff remember i do not drive a mini. Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 28-Nov-2008 Infact the only thing i drive is women crazy with my good looks and large penis n all that!!! Maybe i should grow a beard like yours Geoff then i could have any woman that i wanted. Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 28-Nov-2008 I blame all my self confidence on having too much zinc for breakfast, i do not really have a large penis you can ask my cat. Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by Fishman (Member 10145553) on 28-Nov-2008 Great show Ike. You can watch the big night out on 4 on demand. Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by zap (Member 10216554) on 28-Nov-2008 Zinc for breakfast? Nah. I have the Oil of Aphrodite and the dust of the Grand Wazoo, you might not believe it feller but it'll cure your asthma too! Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 28-Nov-2008 All this off a night on the cup a soups...bloody hell!! What flavour was it?? Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by zap (Member 10216554) on 28-Nov-2008 Cream of Mescalin Re: geoff dellow is a cunt by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 28-Nov-2008 ether! Reply

Queen Victoria Very nice man	by zap (Member 10216554) on 27-Nov-2008
Blimey. They nick 6 waiters from Naaz, next thing you know they're going amok shooting up Bumbaibay. Sheeesh, in the old days we'd have sent in The Lancers, skewered a few, hanged the ringleaders and settled down for tiffin and kicking the punkah wallah. The worlds upside down I tell ye. Reply

cash flow	by Destroy roofs, walls, see in all the rooms at once. (Member 10232600) on 27-Nov-2008
Got a small fortune coming next week off the bike but fuck all this week, trying to get out and sup lancaster ale all day zap if can get a sub off the mother later. Re: cash flow by Destroy roofs, walls, see in all the rooms at once. (Member 10232600) on 27-Nov-2008 http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=320320599144 Re: cash flow by zap (Member 10216554) on 27-Nov-2008 Bit strapped for the old folding items meself Ike but fair risk I'll be out later - Lancaster Red for the afternoon/evening then Thunderbird Vino post 9.30pm. I just feel so sorry for them as doesn't sup... Re: cash flow by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 27-Nov-2008 12 bottles of Peroni for £9.99 in Booths..2 crates just happened to jump im ny trolley unnoticed..and another thing..good letter in the Liar about the smoking ban and Landlords choice. One benefit is, if ban is lifted no children under 14 allowed in..marvellous.. another added bonus, there's no place in pubs fer't squarking little Rugrats...and..mate of mine just got over pneumonia probably from being stood outside in't wet, lift the ban and it'll save the NHS a bloody fortune! ... more >> Re: cash flow by zap (Member 10216554) on 27-Nov-2008 You've only got to consider old Nev from Tyson Square. Loved his roll ups but had to stand outside in the shit weather we had last winter and expired in January. I seem to detect a groundswell against this atrociously unfair and illogical ban. And yeah isn't it a real bonus having ferkin kids runnin all over the bar? Discuss. Re: cash flow by zap (Member 10216554) on 27-Nov-2008 And another thing - its a real fucker when I have to go to an ex-communist country (Czech) to exercise FREEDOM of CHOICE, whether to enter a smoking pub (almost all of em) or a namby pamby non-smoker (not many!). GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Re: cash flow by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 27-Nov-2008 God you're so masterful when you're angry !! Re: cash flow by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 27-Nov-2008 Sat at home in cup a soup hell, only half a bottle of wine since Monday. Sweating i need a drink so badly, if anyone knows me please call me and invite me round to sup your booze store. Reply

Two teas and a toasted teacake ta	by zap (Member 10216554) on 27-Nov-2008
The Chattaway is back from his Spanish jaunt. D'you think he'll be miffed about the caff opening up next door? Business is business Hymie and every coffee counts towards another Harley to stave off the crisis that is middle-age (so they tell me). Re: Two teas and a toasted teacake ta by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 27-Nov-2008 2 years ago...Rio..today....Spain, the sheckles are harder to come by, obviously! Reply

Dellow's blog	by Destroy roofs, walls, see in all the rooms at once. (Member 10232600) on 27-Nov-2008
a group grumble? Re: Dellow's blog by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 27-Nov-2008 Thats us! He's happy to be giving us "youngsters" something to "go on about"....patronising twat! Re: Dellow's blog by zap (Member 10216554) on 27-Nov-2008 Rather complimentary I thought - I mean describing us as young!! Re: Dellow's blog by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 27-Nov-2008 Harumphh...when you look at him I bet he was around when Methusala was a lad...and another thing....if you watch his Dickensian vid with sound turned off you will notice how his camera seems to linger on young boys in particular...or is it me just getting paranoid? Re: Dellow's blog by zap (Member 10216554) on 27-Nov-2008 I have to say I DID notice that meself. Maybe indicative of the Dickheadian but I barely recognised a single person on that vid. Much like a Friday night in t'Farmers. Sigh........ Re: Dellow's blog by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 27-Nov-2008 I didn't either, probably because it's full of people who don't go in pubs!! Re: Dellow's blog by zap (Member 10216554) on 27-Nov-2008 By way of consolation WOD I'm organising a Pie Festival in Lancaster along with an Ulverston lass resident in that great City. You're more than welcome, details to follow.......... Re: Dellow's blog by Geoff Dellow (Member 10233634) on 27-Nov-2008 I guess being young is a matter of outlook! Re: Dellow's blog by Fishman (Member 10145553) on 27-Nov-2008 Are you the real Geoff Dellow? Do you like Ike's animation? Re: Dellow's blog by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 27-Nov-2008 Nowt to do with me lad...for once!! Re: Dellow's blog by Geoff Dellow (Member 10233634) on 27-Nov-2008 Yes, I think it's great. Reply

they'll not be happy till we're Grasmere	by zap (Member 10216554) on 26-Nov-2008
Guess what Ulverston shoppers....we're getting another caff. O yes. The one I mentioned last week is under construction and theres now one opening next ter t'Farmers. I mean, wot sort o' knob walks round town and thinks "mmmm one thing this spot needs is somewhere to eat". Chippy Bank, Ships Wheel, Hot Mango, Olde Ulverston tea rooms, Novel Cafe (new un), Gillams, one opposite TSB, Market caff, Th e Deli, one on Fountain Street, World Peace cafe, Home & Finance, The Lunch Box. O aye, we deffo need feeding up don't we? ... more >> Re: they'll not be happy till we're Grasmere by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 26-Nov-2008 Then why do we get hordes of bloody anoraks coming in the Hope at 4.00PM Re: they'll not be happy till we're Grasmere by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 26-Nov-2008 On a Saturday, interrupting Sky Sports News asking " Are you still doing food"? Fuck off, this is a pub, people eat at dinner time and tea time...not bloody 4 o'clock...AArgh!! Re: they'll not be happy till we're Grasmere by zap (Member 10216554) on 27-Nov-2008 And ere's another asset to the town - that lile house between Thomas's Bakers (Sammy Hodgsons Gawd bless him) and Working Class Hero is being turned into - wait for it - a Herbalists Shop!! Whoopee 3lb of Cinammon and a 1lb of Oregano Please. What the fuck...........Fooook me yet another specialist ( next to fuckin useless) shop for our wonderful market (6 stalls two alsatians) town. Re: they'll not be happy till we're Grasmere by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 27-Nov-2008 Thats it mate, I'm gonna get one of them right on woolly hats and start taking Pan Pipe lessons, find a good sizes tree to hug with a strategically placed knot hole in case I get overexcited! Re: they'll not be happy till we're Grasmere by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 27-Nov-2008 Which one does the best all day breakfast...and don't say the bloody Peace Cafe Re: they'll not be happy till we're Grasmere by zap (Member 10216554) on 27-Nov-2008 Dunno WOD. Despite the stupendous choice I never use 'em. I hear them Bhuddists do a nice saffron and patchouli butty tho. Guess I prefer my refreshment out of a handpump or a tap with Czech writing on it. Speaking of which, see ya later........... Reply

It must be the weather!	by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 26-Nov-2008
Whats going on? The Liar's stirring about them nude things..oops!...works of art on't Lanternhouse. Ralphy's going apoplexic about some sign on Tank Square and doing a Dellow on it...and Dellow's morphed into Santa Claus.. the kiddies friend...I need a pint, it's all getting too much! Reply

LANCASHIRE DAY	by zap (Member 10216554) on 26-Nov-2008
Just to remind you that tomorrow, Nov.27th is Lancashire Day. A Proclamation will be read out at 10.30 a.m. on the Market Square and again, on Saturday morning at the opening of the Dickensian. At 9pm (27th) all you loyal Lanks should raise a glass in the Loyal Toast - "The Queen, Duke of Lancaster". I believe The Old Friends is holding a Lancashire Night on Saturday. www.forl.co.uk Re: LANCASHIRE DAY by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 26-Nov-2008 Gawd bless 'er! Reply

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