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Subjects 1 to 20 of 3172    next>> Today's messages are highlighted in red
Smiter and the cafe by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 22-Aug-2014
A cafe? int `ealth centre? well, I didn`t know that. more power to yer elbow Geoff, ( the right one, not the dodgy left one). On the face of it he is right, two referees for a job serving in a cafe? How many referees do the myriad of nationalities in the ginger one`s establishments have?   
  • Re: Smiter and the cafe by early doors (Member 10235862) on 22-Aug-2014
    the csff is through the double doors behind the pharmacy. The room leading to it is huge and has a massive reception desk for what purpose I have no idea.

  • Re: Smiter and the cafe by early doors (Member 10235862) on 23-Aug-2014
    should say 'caff'

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Adult education by zap (Member 10216554) on 18-Aug-2014
Just had a leaflet pushed thru me door re adult classes in scumbria. Quite a few interesting ones - Advanced Pretentiousness and Snobbery (Ulverston. sponsored by KUS); Applied Sheepshagging (Penrith); English as a foreign Language (Wukkinton); Identity Theft (Carlisle); National Diploma in Extortion (Lake District);Brain Surgery for Beginners (Millom); Applied Chavvery (Uni of Barrow);History of ... more >>   
  • Re: Adult education by early doors (Member 10235862) on 18-Aug-2014
    you having a quiet day mate ? History of Cumbria 90 seconds though is a classic.

  • Re: Adult education by ivision (Member 10220143) on 19-Aug-2014
    as i'm currently residing in penrith, i regret to inform you that the advanced sheep shagging course is fully booked, although there's still a few places left on the basic sheep shagging course, all applicants are being advised to book on the "how to build walls better than romans" course on the off chance our friends and neighbours decide to vote for independance :)

  • Re: Adult education by ivision (Member 10220143) on 19-Aug-2014
    nowt to do with me, http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/more-than-100-sheep-taken-from-cumbria-farm-1.1155913?cache=cachehiguain%2Frk%3D0%2Frs%3Do%2FRK%3D0

  • Re: Adult education by veepee (Member 10294016) on 19-Aug-2014
    Did you also know that since the escalation in e-cigarette sales, 'model making from matchsticks' courses are also seriously compromised?

  • Re: Adult education by early doors (Member 10235862) on 19-Aug-2014
    I seem to remember a certain poster on here saying the Vapour Bar in King St would last about 10 minutes but yet............

  • Re: Adult education by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 19-Aug-2014
    Well, my flabber is ghasted and no mistake. I think I may have predicted six months but even so, it must`ve clocked up six months by now. From what I have read though the success rate of smoking cessation attributed to tin cigarettes is dismal. And they look a bit poofy, my advice is to mtfu and go cold turkey, chew Trebor extra strong, Fisherman`s Friends and Victory V.

  • Re: Adult education by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 19-Aug-2014
    Erm, I mean chew Fisherman`s Friends the lozenge, not Robson Green`s chum. Wouldn`t want the forum to get a bad name for homophobia.

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Quirkyton... by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 14-Aug-2014
Having had a rush of blood to the head and decided to do some DIY I hot footed to town for some consumables.
In the pund o' nails shop...have you got this?.. NO!
Have you got that?...NO!
Have you got t'other?...NO!...Try Pellymounters!
Fair enough, if he's running the business down and got fuck all in!
Off to Pellymounters....Shut!...Market day and fucking shut!!! I thought KUS were misguided... more >>
  
  • Re: Quirkyton... by Terence Trent Derby (Member 10292850) on 14-Aug-2014
    Your average KUS supporter would just pay someone to do it, Dave. Where the tradesman got his stuff from wouldn't be a thought that entered their heads. Totally different mindset to your average bloke on the street, which is why they think shopping at Booths or from overpriced shops in town is a perfectly reasonable option. They're prepared to pay a premium or wait for things to be ordered in beca... more >>

  • Re: Quirkyton... by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 14-Aug-2014
    Would it be better to go down North Lonsdale rd. to those bigger places? Don`t go there mesel` of course, too specialised for me, I usually don`t know what I want `til I see it on the shelf at B&Q or Homebase.

  • Re: Quirkyton... by early doors (Member 10235862) on 14-Aug-2014
    I hear you redneck. Broombys (TP) is pretty good but you can't beat B&Q when you just want to browse until you see something that might be what you're looking for !!!

  • Re: Quirkyton... by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 16-Aug-2014
    All I wanted was some varnish stripper, wire wool and sandpaper...the very things I thought our local quirky handyman's stores would have in spades and I could take them home all wrapped in a brown paper bag, and my ears ringing with all the local gossip and banter,happy in the knowledge I had done me bit to support our local tradespeople and mongers, and thus maintain Quirkyton as the throbbing l... more >>

  • Re: Quirkyton... by Scum (Member 10233909) on 16-Aug-2014
    Pellymounters shut. What, for lunch?

  • Re: Quirkyton... by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 16-Aug-2014
    All I wanted was some varnish stripper, wire wool and sandpaper...the very things I thought our local quirky handyman's stores would have in spades and I could take them home all wrapped in a brown paper bag, and my ears ringing with all the local gossip and banter,happy in the knowledge I had done me bit to support our local tradespeople and mongers, and thus maintain Quirkyton as the throbbing l... more >>

  • Re: Quirkyton... by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 16-Aug-2014
    Yes, Mr Scum, I do believe it was for lunch! Have they not heard of sandwiches, Pot Noodles etc that can be taken on the hoof whilst serving the myriad of customers clamouring fot their goods and services on a busy Quirkyton market day? I can imagine the squeals of appreciation from KUS..LUNCH? You don't see that in a supermarket, how wonderful to live in an edge of Lake District town where a civi... more >>

  • Re: Quirkyton... by early doors (Member 10235862) on 17-Aug-2014
    market day you say ? what evidence of a market was there apart from the road closures ? I didn't even see the dodgy meat wagon.

  • Re: Quirkyton... by early doors (Member 10235862) on 17-Aug-2014
    By the way I still call it Albrights !!!

  • Re: Quirkyton... by Scum (Member 10233909) on 17-Aug-2014
    Quite right. I call it Albrights. And what about Tognarellis on King Street. Remember the fucking stink that used to ooze out of that place? And yes WOD, it's fucking bollocks that a shop like Albrights should close for lunch. The cunts don't deserve the trade. Next thing they'll be bellyaching about an out of town shop taking over. Stupid fuckers!

  • Re: Quirkyton... by early doors (Member 10235862) on 17-Aug-2014
    another flower shop opening in Market St, was the freezer shop for a short time.

  • Re: Quirkyton... by veepee (Member 10294016) on 17-Aug-2014
    May, What - another shop ?!! Whatever next?

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Elders and Betters by Terence Trent Derby (Member 10292850) on 12-Aug-2014
It must be wonderful to be convinced of your own superiority like Smiter is. Love reading him muse in his blog about how he (and occasionally his friends or his generation) is smarter, tougher, more tenacious, more moral etc than 99% of people today. In his most recent epistle he says "people wouldn't dream" of standing to dry out their wet clothes infront of a fire these days. Course not Geoff. I... more >>   
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100 years on by zap (Member 10216554) on 4-Aug-2014
...Do you remember that hour of din before the attack-
And the anger, the blind compassion that seized and shook you then As you peered at the doomed and haggard faces of your men?
Do you remember the stretcher cases lurching back
With dying eyes and lolling heads - those ashen grey Masks of the lads who once were keen and kind and gay?
Have you forgotten yet...?
Look up, and swear by the gre... more >>
  
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Ulverston Apple Day by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 2-Aug-2014
Well, bugger me! In this world renowned apple growing region we, at last, get a festival to properly celebrate our apple prowess? I own to some perplexity as to how I would approach and paticipate in this joyous celebration? I'll probably wear a garland of Cox's Pippins, ear rings of Worcester Pearmains, and a couple of Egremont Russets shoved down me trouser fronts for added effect?...Or am I loo... more >>   
  • Re: Ulverston Apple Day by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 2-Aug-2014
    It gives me the pip Dave.

  • Re: Ulverston Apple Day by veepee (Member 10294016) on 2-Aug-2014
    Core!

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Paging Dr Dellow by Heniich Von Ofterdingen (Member 10294679) on 29-Jul-2014
Dr Dellow,
I bring you dispatches,Dr Phil has asked if you can get this one?,F.ucking Texans,he will not take my call since my check bounced.
I fear I am facing an ethical conundrum Dr Dellow,I want to eat Jeri Ryanś pussy so bad,however she is an asshole and I am a Basket Case.
Think I will go and eat worms......
Your Thoughts Dr Dellow?.
  
  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by veepee (Member 10294016) on 29-Jul-2014
    Well stick me in a pitch black cellar and feed me pins. Bindon is back.

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by Heniich Von Ofterdingen (Member 10294679) on 29-Jul-2014
    That was my Slave Name.
    I am now Lord Porsche Traymayne-Van Gills.
    Dr Dellow,I bring you grave news,Maggie Smith has escaped from Battersea Dogs home,last seen at Chanock Richard services,uttering Geoff,Geoff,Geoff in a maniacal monotone.
    I fear she craves your touch in the biblical sense.
    We have dispatched The Witch Finder General,Slipper from The Yard,Steve Irwin and Dr Van Helsing.
    I am a... more >>

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by Heniich Von Ofterdingen (Member 10294679) on 29-Jul-2014
    Talking of cellars and pins.
    I now a wonderful restaurant in a cellar in Le Marais,a bottle of Le Pin and plotting ingress into Lou Dollions panties in a manner that would make Richelieu smile,alas I am a Basket Case,I will eat worms until I explode............

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by veepee (Member 10294016) on 30-Jul-2014
    I have cadged a bottle or two of Petrus from chap who owed me for fixing a blockage in his nasal cavity with my Stanley Tools deluxe 'grill a grip' wrench. Perhaps we should liaise in the H&A and sample it's delights whilst pretending to sup ale? We could chat about life on the dole and form effigies of the Pope from Play Doh.

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by veepee (Member 10294016) on 30-Jul-2014
    You may not recognise me from old so I will dress in one of your pass down brown cord suits and be carrying a £1 B&Q orange bucket. I will also don a sprig of heather in my left button hole and will be humming my own version of Elton Johns Daniel in B flat minor.

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by veepee (Member 10294016) on 30-Jul-2014
    Do you care for pot plants and is John Innes no.1 palatable to your senses?

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by Heniich Von Ofterdingen (Member 10294679) on 30-Jul-2014
    I am in Menton these days,whilst I am here does anybody remember John Wilson (Square Head) if so could you ask him to ask his wife if she remembers what an amazing fuck I was.
    Talking of fucks,I want to be Serena Williams dildo,alas I remain a Basket Case.
    The moral of this story is to keep away from White Trash from Arkansas.

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by Heniich Von Ofterdingen (Member 10294679) on 30-Jul-2014
    Talking about sprigs in buttonholes,They have an Italian Dr Who it seems,nothing against Italians,however back Pertwee,maybe Aunt Sally is into trolism.

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by Heniich Von Ofterdingen (Member 10294679) on 30-Jul-2014
    I worked with Frank Thornton once Captain Peacock,does that count?.

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by veepee (Member 10294016) on 30-Jul-2014
    No.

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by Heniich Von Ofterdingen (Member 10294679) on 30-Jul-2014
    Tell you a story with a moral climax.
    There were times when I wanted to do things.
    I wanted to climb the north face of The Eiger.
    I wanted to become a lesbian so I could try and get Jodi Foster into bed.
    I wanted to put 2 Kawasaki KH750 2 stroke triples into a Laverda Jota frame.
    Now all I want to do is sit in a court room and see that abomination from Arkansas g... more >>

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by Heniich Von Ofterdingen (Member 10294679) on 30-Jul-2014
    Frank was a doll,old school theatre.

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by Heniich Von Ofterdingen (Member 10294679) on 30-Jul-2014
    Dr Dellow,
    I want to do a porn version of a A Dolls House with this STUNNING Czech Porn Actress called Nessa Devil.
    Is this normal Dr Dellow.

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by veepee (Member 10294016) on 30-Jul-2014
    Do you clasp your buttocks as you skip in merry attire along the Promonade de Merrent?

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by Heniich Von Ofterdingen (Member 10294679) on 30-Jul-2014
    Look what can I say,I still remember when you caressed my buttocks on Old Tangiers.
    You lied to me,you said I looked like Dolores Del Rio.
    All lies to get me naked.

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by Heniich Von Ofterdingen (Member 10294679) on 30-Jul-2014
    You said I had the nicest buttocks in all of Christendom,again lies to get me naked,you said I was Gilda,when I did the Hayworth thing with my hair.
    All lies so you could caress my tender buttocks.

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by veepee (Member 10294016) on 31-Jul-2014
    I would like to date your left buttock. How about the Mirazur on Saturday night. Your right buttock could babysit for my great aunt Geraldine who is holding a Tupperware party in aid of homeless archers. I would suggest any of your remaining buttocks entertain themselves with an acoustic guitar whilst whistling Dixie.

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by Heniich Von Ofterdingen (Member 10294679) on 1-Aug-2014
    I do hope your Aunt Geraldine is not,Geraldine Ferraro,toxic fucking hag.
    I tend to think this is Anna,I will tell you again the number one quality any writer needs is empathy.
    You need to be able to make a blind man "SEE the majesty of a butterfly doing butterfly things.
    Adult Trade has been murdered by Corp Whores,look at the latest drivel 50 shades of gray,mindless fucking drivel,Anais Nin o... more >>

  • Re: Paging Dr Dellow by veepee (Member 10294016) on 1-Aug-2014
    I know of whom you speak but no, alas she has seemingly long departed from these pages. It is now left for me to visit occasionally during the long dark evenings from my residence on the White Volta delta, thinking of England and Chippy Bank mushy peas.

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Credit where credit is due by early doors (Member 10235862) on 27-Jul-2014
In town Sunday morning had the rare luxury of a parking space so decided to have a coffee at the Farmers. Ended up having the special offer of coffee and bacon roll. Excellent and cheaper than any caff. Not my favourite person but he knows how to run a pub. Smartly dressed staff too - other pubs should take note.   
  • Re: Credit where credit is due by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 28-Jul-2014
    Aye, not going in a pub just because you dislike the landlord is just cutting off your nose to spite your face. Most of the time you don`t see him anyway.

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used cars again by early doors (Member 10235862) on 18-Jul-2014
The used car lot seems to have moved to Stonecross . Three today .   
  • Re: used cars again by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 18-Jul-2014
    Yeah, I noticed a distinct lack of "stock" and yesterday another one had a red notice stuck on it. That notice has been torn off and is lying under the vehicle.

  • Re: used cars again by early doors (Member 10235862) on 23-Jul-2014
    3 or 4 cars back again on Newton St.I see.

  • Re: used cars again by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 29-Jul-2014
    The van that attracted a red notice has gone, the others might get moved now that the liar is on the case. The next concern is going to be those "mobile" advertising hoardings, more of `em appearing day by day.

  • Re: used cars again by early doors (Member 10235862) on 29-Jul-2014
    If plod could be arsed to get out of their dormobiles we might see some action. I suspect none of these cars are insured /taxed so should not be on the highway.
    Also I hear plod will move into Glenys House when they vacate Neville St. A bit nearer the chippy for the poor lambs.

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Cheers Smiter! by zap (Member 10216554) on 8-Jul-2014
Smiter has very thoughtfully put on his blog the programme for Furness Tradition, the annual festival where people pretending to be scumbrian pretend to be Irish and fill the streets and pubs with howling, wailing, and the sound of screeching fiddles. Smiter lists the pubs being used so we all know which ones to avoid. So Cheers Smiter   
  • Re: Cheers Smiter! by veepee (Member 10294016) on 9-Jul-2014
    Are there actually any pubs left in town?

  • Re: Cheers Smiter! by Scum (Member 10233909) on 10-Jul-2014
    Bloody good question. The way the cunts are going there soon wont be. That'll please the KUS fuckers. A town with no pubs, no good shops but loads of bastard festivals. AND NO FUCKING WHERE TO PARK.

  • Re: Cheers Smiter! by early doors (Member 10235862) on 10-Jul-2014
    Spoke to the Smiter the other day ,the poor old lad looks very frail since his stroke . Good luck to him.
    As for pubs Mr. Scum we still have a fair few but nobody seems keen to re-open Ye Grapes.

  • Re: Cheers Smiter! by zap (Member 10216554) on 10-Jul-2014
    I heard a strong rumour t'other day that Sir Roger de Twattaway has an interest in t'Grapes. Mebbe best get the Bradds sorted afore the empire expands over t'wrong side o town!

  • Re: Cheers Smiter! by early doors (Member 10235862) on 11-Jul-2014
    The Braddylls is taking longer to rebuild than it would have done to build from scratch .

  • Re: Cheers Smiter! by Scum (Member 10233909) on 11-Jul-2014
    Bloody good pub the Bradylls. That's if you could get in the fucking place past Fred Cole's monster gut.

  • Re: Cheers Smiter! by ulverstonian (Member 10191731) on 20-Jul-2014
    talking of pubs i have been told stu coming out of the kings going to the miners at swarthmoor and twattaway buying the kings.Anyone else been told this

  • Re: Cheers Smiter! by early doors (Member 10235862) on 20-Jul-2014
    That rumour has been doing the rounds for 6 months.It won't bother me I don't go in either pub ,nor am I likely to. Chataway is also rumoured to be taking over The Grapes and probably the town hall.

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Fatality in Mountbarrow road by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 7-Jul-2014
POLICE have confirmed that a woman has been killed in a road accident in Ulverston.
Anyone got any more on this?
  
  • Re: Fatality in Mountbarrow road by Cloud (Member 10266536) on 7-Jul-2014
    23 year old in a 206 driving like a knob, from what I heard. Was only a matter of time sadly

  • Re: Fatality in Mountbarrow road by ulverstonian (Member 10191731) on 9-Jul-2014
    Shocking news,fingers crossed for nevs daughter

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The Parade by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 6-Jul-2014
Any good? didn`t see it mesen, too busy watching the opening stage of the tour de france.   
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Chineses.... by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 3-Jul-2014
Look lads n lasses...in my humble opinion, and, without being 'racist' to the disposessed, there are two Chineses in town, which, in my opinion are utter shite a)The Lotus...cos they can't even fuckin' cook! b)The Rainbow, which charges top bollox prices for stuff you don't even want...I will appreciate critiques about the Gold Swan and that spot near ter't bus stop...thank you...the bastards are ... more >>   
  • Re: Chineses.... by veepee (Member 10294016) on 4-Jul-2014
    Somewhat on the sinophobic side there Dave....

  • Re: Chineses.... by Terence Trent Derby (Member 10292850) on 4-Jul-2014
    Can't be any worse than the Chippy Bank. Cooking fish and chips isn't hard but they consistently manage to fuck it up and people let them get away with it. A tray of chips shouldn't stick together to form one giant stodgy chip.

  • Re: Chineses.... by Terence Trent Derby (Member 10292850) on 4-Jul-2014
    The Jade used to be good, but they took their eye off the ball when the opened up in Barrow and now it's crap. You're best off going to Taste of Balti these days - good quality Indian and decent prices.

  • Re: Chineses.... by Fray Bentos (Member 10255495) on 4-Jul-2014
    Now, bear in mind that I'm no gourmand and wouldn't know a haute cuisine from a hole in the ground but I have been known to visit the Beijing Garden (the one on Victoria Rd) and thoroughly enjoyed it. Especially the cry of 'solvingar?' which accompanies the wrapping of the chips.

  • Re: Chineses.... by early doors (Member 10235862) on 4-Jul-2014
    There isn't a decent chinky in town ,just like there isn't a decent chippy ,just like there isn't a decent pie shop. No wonder I'm wasting away to 15st.

  • Re: Chineses.... by veepee (Member 10294016) on 5-Jul-2014
    What we could do with is an Eskimo cafe - where they sell raw fish and frozen chips with seal blubber crackling a speciality. The phrase would then be 'just poppin down t'eskimo to get us mi tea luv'.

  • Re: Chineses.... by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 5-Jul-2014
    We used to have one, think it was called Butlers...

  • Re: Chineses.... by Scum (Member 10233909) on 5-Jul-2014
    Butlers was ok. That one down the Ellers was fucking shite though. Remember that one; chips half cooked as greasy as a whores twat

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Vest Fest by veepee (Member 10294016) on 3-Jul-2014
Whilst travelling on a fleeting visit through the centre of Town the other fine sunny day I couldn't fail to notice the number of 'trendy' middle-aged, overweight, beer-gut endowed men displaying their grotesque, hairy, buffalo-winged arms complete with faded wrinkly tattoos to the world via the wearing of vested tee-shirts. The best ones are the vests with extra long shoulder straps which also al... more >>   
  • Re: Vest Fest by early doors (Member 10235862) on 3-Jul-2014
    Ouch !!!

  • Re: Vest Fest by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 3-Jul-2014
    It is what it is...unless of course you are from the South and have a more "sophistacated" set of values, that you grew in to rather than inherited??

  • Re: Vest Fest by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 3-Jul-2014
    i

  • Re: Vest Fest by veepee (Member 10294016) on 3-Jul-2014
    Hmmm, an interesting theory but a long way off the mark.

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Whatcha! by veepee (Member 10294016) on 2-Jul-2014
Peeps from behind curtain and waves gingerly. Edges timidly to the centre of the room and yells 'TOOLOOLAH'!   
  • Re: Whatcha! by veepee (Member 10294016) on 2-Jul-2014
    Hi Red Ram, do I detect a familiar stroke of the keyboard methinks?

  • Re: Whatcha! by veepee (Member 10294016) on 2-Jul-2014
    And the same with Roge Ram ....are you by any chance cojoined at the navel in a similar vein to Bindon who is cojoined at the orifice?

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is he poorly? by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 28-Jun-2014
OOH ! Ralphie`s been up to the health centre to have his blood tested. Hope the old rogue is ok.   
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Well done that man by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 26-Jun-2014
Trading standards officer has placed warning stickers on those cars for sale parked in Newton street by the Swan. I see one of them has also got a more private personal message on it, to the effect of "heap of junk" "don`t buy this car, you will regret it" and "the seller is a crook". the council should just tow them away for crushing and bill the owner.   
  • Re: Well done that man by early doors (Member 10235862) on 27-Jun-2014
    It's been done before and the cars disappeared for a few days and then came back.

  • Re: Well done that man by early doors (Member 10235862) on 28-Jun-2014
    Still 5 cars there today

  • Re: Well done that man by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 28-Jun-2014
    Aye, and one of `em has the Trading Standards warning sign lying on the passenger seat for all to see. You would have to be stupid to buy one of those cars.

  • Re: Well done that man by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 1-Jul-2014
    There was a police van parked there this morning, strange sort of thing, not the usual Transit but more of a dog van size. I was wondering if they had put it up for sale! A bylaw is needed but the council are pleading poverty. Works on Morecambe prom, once a few have been towed away the message soon gets round. At the moment it`s up to trading standards to investigate who is actually selling them,... more >>

  • Re: Well done that man by early doors (Member 10235862) on 1-Jul-2014
    All the 'dealer ' does is put a different mobile phone no. on each car then TS can't link them to the same person. They do it on Abbey Rd. opposite the Strawberry too.
    Beats me why anyone would buy a car from the roadside.

  • Re: Well done that man by claire (Member 10289163) on 5-Jul-2014
    Thought maybe the dog(s) were being 'exercised' in the vicinity ?

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Glaxo Bullshitters - again by Scum (Member 10233909) on 20-Jun-2014
Just been reading this fucking shite:

http://www.gsk-ulverston.co.uk/user_uploads/gsk-ulverstonmasterplan.pdf

Can anyone tell me why these cunts have knocked down half the fucking factory only to want to build on some bloody undeveloped land alongside. And they HAVE renamed the road down to canal foot as PULMAN ROAD. Who the fuck do they think t... more >>
  
  • Re: Glaxo Bullshitters - again by Scum (Member 10233909) on 20-Jun-2014
    More shite here

    http://www.gsk-ulverston.co.uk/user_uploads/arup-tp-rep-005_gsk%20ulverston%20biopharm%20development%20interim%20travel%20plan.pdf

  • Re: Glaxo Bullshitters - again by Scum (Member 10233909) on 20-Jun-2014
    That picture of ulverston in 1796 looks like a photo. Wonder who took the bastard

    http://www.gsk-ulverston.co.uk/user_uploads/gsk-ulverstonmasterplan.pdf

  • Re: Glaxo Bullshitters - again by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 20-Jun-2014
    Bastards!

    And what about Ulverston`s newly non elected new mayor? Fucking pig.

  • Re: Glaxo Bullshitters - again by early doors (Member 10235862) on 21-Jun-2014
    You seem to have a real downer on Glaxo Mr.Scum. In my opinion the new development is fantastic news for Ulverston. The alternative would be to close the plant.
    You're right about one thing ,the canal was built in 1796 but the pepperpot wasn't built till 1850 so the picture is false.
    Excellent rant by the way !

  • Re: Glaxo Bullshitters - again by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 21-Jun-2014
    KUS are door knocking and begging for money, surely this has gone too far now?

  • Re: Glaxo Bullshitters - again by early doors (Member 10235862) on 22-Jun-2014
    ....hope KUS knock on a lot of doors then they will realise how far away they are from public opinion.

  • Re: Glaxo Bullshitters - again by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 28-Jun-2014
    I found a leaflet ont doormat when I got in yesterday. More unsubstantiated theory`s from keep Ulverston stone age. I was interested to find the co authors credited with this pack of lies and propaganda were ceri hutton, judy filmore and the easily led jane harris. So looks like the pickthalls have taken a swift backward step, obviously not wanting to be seen as being on the losing team. Judy who?... more >>

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Another fine fest by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 12-Jun-2014
Got your plastic bowler yet? ffs. Was he even born here? Glad I`m going away for the week.   
  • Re: Another fine fest by early doors (Member 10235862) on 12-Jun-2014
    Yes I have . Yes he was born here. And I think it will be quite good fun. If you're too miserable to enjoy it that's your problem.

  • Re: Another fine fest by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 12-Jun-2014
    It isn`t about being miserable, it`s about sense of humour. Dressing and acting like a prat isn`t my idea of fun. This festival should move to Hollywood where the myth that L & H were even slightly funny can be perpetuated. Now Shriners, they ARE funny.

  • Re: Another fine fest by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 12-Jun-2014
    No idea why they have got it on the same day as Dalton carnival

  • Re: Another fine fest by early doors (Member 10235862) on 12-Jun-2014
    Ok redneck but my more general point is that too many people on this forum just complain about everything that goes on in Ulverston. It's not all bad e.g. I like Dickensian but not Flagfest and you won't see me in town on Carnival day . I despise Morris Dancers too.
    I don't think Chaplin was in the least funny but Laurel and Hardy crack me up.

  • Re: Another fine fest by zap (Member 10216554) on 12-Jun-2014
    Its not well known but before he left for the US Stan frequently returned to Ulverston to visit an aunt who farmed up on Wild Duck, so a festival based on him is quite appropriate. BUT what pisses me off about all the various fests is that it encourages people, especially our sizeable offcomer population, to believe that Ulv is unique, or - God help us - "special". It isn't. Every town from here t... more >>

  • Re: Another fine fest by early doors (Member 10235862) on 12-Jun-2014
    Ah yes I forgot about titfest. Yes I agree in a way zap ,some of the ppl who inhabit these fests are a bit strange and many are off-comers. On balance though ,I wouldn't put them all in Room 101 ,just the Morris Dancers.

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Thinking Geoff by Roger Ramjet (Member 10290010) on 11-Jun-2014
Geoff,
We need all 12 eps of The Young Ones,C20H25N30 and a Mercury Vapor rectifier and a couple of Leyden Jars.
Mayall was a genius and what do we have today dullard's like Russell and Ricky something and Graham Norton,The Troika Of Talentless Trash,about as funny as syphilis.
Take Care Geoff,Must run,Dr Ronnie Lang told me to fuck Lil Kim as part of my therapy regimen.
  
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