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Subjects 1 to 20 of 3227    next>> Today's messages are highlighted in red
Basil Weston by Chris Allonby (Member 10192613) on 12-Feb-2015
Hello. Does anyone have an email address for Basil Weston (nephew of the VC). I'd like to ask him something about Ulverston history. Thanks.   
  • Re: Basil Weston by early doors (Member 10235862) on 13-Feb-2015
    You can't know him very well if you think he's on t'internet .

  • Re: Basil Weston by Chris Allonby (Member 10192613) on 13-Feb-2015
    I wondered about that. I'll try and catch up with him next time I visit Ulverston. What pub does he frequent these days?

  • Re: Basil Weston by early doors (Member 10235862) on 13-Feb-2015
    Top man is Baz. Can be found in the Hope & Anchor occasionally.

  • Re: Basil Weston by Chris Allonby (Member 10192613) on 13-Feb-2015
    Thanks. I might even write a letter to him.

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the swan, 1989 by ivision (Member 10220143) on 3-Feb-2015
http://www.nwemail.co.uk/2.5463/new-start-for-family-run-pub-in-1989-1.1178339 ... what happened, never frequented the place back then, it was where everyone's folks went for a meal, there or the empress
:)
  
  • Re: the swan, 1989 by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 3-Feb-2015
    I well remember Ian and Maureen, good hosts but the usual problem of getting day time trade at the Swan scuppered the hopes and dreams of quite a few good landlords. Ian`s food was excellent and he worked hard trying to make a go of things. Maureen had a bad back though and couldn`t do a full shift behind the bar. I`m amazed that the Swan does as well as it does, considering how many pubs peripher... more >>

  • Re: the swan, 1989 by Cloud (Member 10266536) on 4-Feb-2015
    Does well due to specialising in real ale which is a big thing in the town (look at the annual festival). Could possibly do better if you could hold a conversation over the loud music though, and if they ran their own beer festivals like they used to.

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Nick Tate by ulverstonian (Member 10191731) on 1-Feb-2015
Our fellow board user getting a bit of stick on the evening liar site over his court appearance   
  • Re: Nick Tate by early doors (Member 10235862) on 1-Feb-2015
    Yes a bit harsh I thought ,he does a good job of running the petrol station .

  • Re: Nick Tate by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 3-Feb-2015
    Sells the best fish and shellfish around too!

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The new shop by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 21-Jan-2015
I couldn`t get near for stalwarts of this website queueing to buy their alpaca wool. Looking forward to seeing you lot out and about resplendent in alpaca wool cardies, pullies and weskits. I can just see the mustachioed one sporting a natty alpaca tyrolean trilby, peacock feather an` all. Should bolster the faltering quirk level no end.   
  • Re: The new shop by WiseOldDave (Member 10213768) on 21-Jan-2015
    About bloody time, there's been a dearth in Alpaca wool for far too long in this town! I shall harry myself round to stock up before it gets too popular, whence KUS will, no doubt, run'em out of town!

  • Re: The new shop by veepee (Member 10294016) on 25-Jan-2015
    Thinks Bindon in wet alapaca mankini.....

  • Re: The new shop by Dog Master (Member 10160482) on 26-Jan-2015
    VP. You know Jack Shit remembers you at Glaxo!

  • Re: The new shop by veepee (Member 10294016) on 30-Jan-2015
    Well that's what having a shit memory does for you.

  • Re: The new shop by early doors (Member 10235862) on 5-Feb-2015
    I thought at first this thread was about the building on Michaelson Road that housed the Golden Mile ( for ex Vickers workers only )

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Be upstanding for his worship the mayor (of cumbria) by Scum (Member 10233909) on 3-Jan-2015
What thinketh yee of the latest idea?   
  • Re: Be upstanding for his worship the mayor (of cumbria) by zap (Member 10216554) on 3-Jan-2015
    Sod that. More power to Kendal and that shit tip on the Scots border? NFC.

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R.I.P. by zap (Member 10216554) on 3-Jan-2015
Can't believe it, Donna Douglas - Ellie May from Beverley Hillbillies has died aged 81. The finest lady ever to grace a Seeement Pond!   
  • Re: R.I.P. by early doors (Member 10235862) on 3-Jan-2015
    She was something !especially when she used her bra as a catapult

  • Re: R.I.P. by zap (Member 10216554) on 3-Jan-2015
    Her bending over to use the pot passers always got to me!

  • Re: R.I.P. by early doors (Member 10235862) on 3-Jan-2015
    ..........oh yes the fancy eating table !

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Oh noooooo! by zap (Member 10216554) on 2-Jan-2015
Its all over the radio - the second coming of Christ? The third world war? Nope. Some overpaid, over rated footballer is moving on. Loyalty? Bugger me - pay me a million a month and I'd be fucking loyal too. Wot a load of old bollox.   
  • Re: Oh noooooo! by veepee (Member 10294016) on 2-Jan-2015
    Well it beats me why so many grown men go to the lengths they do to watch some bunch of overpaid, advertisement clad nancys kick a bag of wind around a pitch for 90 minutes in a hope that one of them manages to boot it into a 'special location' ie a patch of grass in between 2 posts which looks identical to the rest of the grass all over the pitch. Still if they want to pay the exorborent gate fee... more >>

  • Re: Oh noooooo! by blueherring (Member 10198877) on 2-Jan-2015
    in the scheme of things there's nothing that isn't ridiculous and pointless. we're collections of atoms that have developed a preference for which other collections of atoms to watch before we're all scattered across the cosmos. happy new year everyone.

  • Re: Oh noooooo! by veepee (Member 10294016) on 2-Jan-2015
    Try raising that one at a football manager TV interview and see if it will get one of the fuckers to smile.

  • Re: Oh noooooo! by zap (Member 10216554) on 2-Jan-2015
    Just cant help thinking if I or the gents on here organised a Saturday afternoon which involved thousands of morons pissed up, screaming obscenities, assaulting each other, etc etc. our feet wouldn't touch.....

  • Re: Oh noooooo! by veepee (Member 10294016) on 2-Jan-2015
    Try raising that one at a football manager TV interview and see if it will get one of the fuckers to smile.

  • Re: Oh noooooo! by veepee (Member 10294016) on 2-Jan-2015
    Have you ever pictured what its like to be a bog cleaner at a footy ground after a match? They are the ones who should get a million a week.

  • Re: Oh noooooo! by early doors (Member 10235862) on 3-Jan-2015
    veepee ,the bogs at football grounds are probably cleaner than those in pubs . People generally don't puke and shit all over when they go to footie. It's just rivers of piss !!!

  • Re: Oh noooooo! by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 3-Jan-2015
    You have obviously never tried the food at Barrow AFC.

  • Re: Oh noooooo! by veepee (Member 10294016) on 3-Jan-2015
    I have and the subsequent projectile vomit was awesome.

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Sun by ulverstonian (Member 10191731) on 1-Jan-2015
Ventured in the sun last night first time in fucking years,thought I walked into a kindergarden,I looked around must have been at least 20 under age in there that I'd seen,doesn't help when that prick dave lets his grandkid in the bar with his mates all there drinking.I drank up and left no wonder I don't go in there the guy gets away with murder about time they were raided for underage drinking   
  • Re: Sun by Scum (Member 10233909) on 1-Jan-2015
    Under-age drinking? better have it in the pubs than out on't street!

    Ulver, bet you never did under age drinking eh!

    There's too much fucking emphasis on it. Who the fuck cares if 16 and 17 year olds are sneaking the odd drink in a pub. Bring back the old days.

  • Re: Sun by veepee (Member 10294016) on 1-Jan-2015
    Oh God, nor the 'good ol' days' popping up again. Aye lad, do Thi remember: Hanging horse thieves, young kids up chimneys and rickets? Luxury.

  • Re: Sun by early doors (Member 10235862) on 1-Jan-2015
    I seriously doubt if much under age drinking goes on in pubs these days . The licensee ,staff and doormen can all get fined. But the kids are already pissed up/drugged up when they come out so they can just drink pop.
    In the good old days you could sit in a pub all night drinking Cases Bitter from the age of 15 if you behaved yourself.( allegedly )

  • Re: Sun by veepee (Member 10294016) on 1-Jan-2015
    Tut tut.

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Predictions. by zap (Member 10216554) on 31-Dec-2014
Anybody got any predictions for t'village for 2015? To start with:
JANUARY- scumbria Police Authority cancel plans to close Ulverston Police Station after extensive research reveals that it has potential to be put to good use - as a Police Station.
FEBRUARY- After years of practice the Scumbrian Liar finally manages to print a paragraph, 2" square which contains the word Cumbria and its derivati... more >>
  
  • Re: Predictions. by veepee (Member 10294016) on 31-Dec-2014
    Boundaries will be revised and Ulv will find itself classed as being in the Derbyshire Peak District.

  • Re: Predictions. by early doors (Member 10235862) on 31-Dec-2014
    Ulverston railway station will be re-branded Kendal South.

  • Re: Predictions. by Jest (Member 10284008) on 1-Jan-2015
    The business growth in the area will mean that Town cllrs particularly those involved in KUS will see the need for infrastructure development in the area. They will welcome new housing and supermarket developments with open arms. They will apologise to the residents of Ulverston for representing a small minority at the expense of the majority and admit their mad ideas for arts projects, walkers ho... more >>

  • Re: Predictions. by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 1-Jan-2015
    Well said Jest, post of the year.

  • Re: Predictions. by Scum (Member 10233909) on 1-Jan-2015
    You gotta ask, whos the biggest threat to the Shithole - KUS or SLDC? SLDC in my book.

  • Re: Predictions. by veepee (Member 10294016) on 1-Jan-2015
    Rename SLDC to NTJDC (not the lakes district council)

  • Re: Predictions. by veepee (Member 10294016) on 1-Jan-2015

  • Re: Predictions. by veepee (Member 10294016) on 1-Jan-2015

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Bah Humbug by veepee (Member 10294016) on 25-Dec-2014
Well I've had my doors wide open for the last couple of days but so far have neither been visited by any ghost - past nor present.   
  • Re: Bah Humbug by Scum (Member 10233909) on 26-Dec-2014
    Good job you don't live down t'pot. House 'd be fucking empty by now.

  • Re: Bah Humbug by early doors (Member 10235862) on 28-Dec-2014
    .......down't pot ? what a fucking depressing phrase. More Sky dishes than teeth down there.

  • Re: Bah Humbug by zap (Member 10216554) on 30-Dec-2014
    Oh I dunno, Mr Scum sir. When they built them houses on the site of Dale Street School they were marketed as being "in the Lake District". Several folk had to be assisted by ambulance staff outside Poole Townsends window for cramps brought on by severe laughter.

  • Re: Bah Humbug by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 30-Dec-2014
    Oh I don`t know, if you allow your imagination to stretch a point the new sewage holding tank in Morecambe road can be construed as a lake. of sorts.

  • Re: Bah Humbug by veepee (Member 10294016) on 30-Dec-2014
    I do hope that those poor folks that Zap mentioned went on to make a full recovery. This just shows what happens when you leave town planning to people with little command of Inglish and Jography.

  • Re: Bah Humbug by Scum (Member 10233909) on 30-Dec-2014
    Dale Street School houses in the Lake District. What fucking bollocks is that? Lake District Peninsulas maybe, but not the District itself. Come to think of it, who thought up the lake district peninsulas anyway. Obviously some cunt who would benefit grately from having a peninsula shoved up his arse, sideways. Morecambe Bay peninsulas maybe. Fuck me! the Lake District doesn't start till Greenodd.... more >>

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Season's Greetings by early doors (Member 10235862) on 24-Dec-2014
Compliments of the season to everyone . I shall be spending the afternoon in various hostelries before returning to the fireside. Mrs ED has threatened to withdraw certain privileges if I am as kettled as last year !   
  • Re: Season's Greetings by zap (Member 10216554) on 24-Dec-2014
    Festive felicitations to one and all.I too will be taking ale in our quirky innes and taverns in the fervent hope that it will eventually anaesthetise me against the shitefest that is Xmas TV. A wassailing I will go........

  • Re: Season's Greetings by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 24-Dec-2014
    Very brave of you ED, the aforementioned alehouses and tavernes are no place for a god fearing soul on nights such as this. A night perusing the web for me. Merry Christmas to one and all, and a prosperous new year to the down and out under the bridges of Paris.

  • Re: Season's Greetings by veepee (Member 10294016) on 24-Dec-2014
    Tonight I thought I'd try out some last minute XMAS shopping so at 6.59 I walked into Asda. The guy who was about to shut the door welcomed me in and said although they were closing they was no problem at all in me coming into the shop at such a late hour. Excellent customer service Asda! I proceeded to spend £40.69. Next year I am going to go for a last second attempt.

  • Re: Season's Greetings by veepee (Member 10294016) on 24-Dec-2014
    I have just turned tail and walked out of a well known Ulv pub. On entering the first thing I came across wad a scabby arsed yob, mouthing off - with a tirade of foul language, a small bottle of Becks in hand. When will the landlords learn to get rid of these louts in favour of some serious punters. I had 80 quid in my pocket and that pub won't see a penny. As for the yob - fxxk off and crawl ... more >>

  • Re: Season's Greetings by Dog Master (Member 10160482) on 24-Dec-2014
    Spent a few hours in the Swan this evening, I'm not a regular but met a lot of old friends and made some new friends, thats life in Ulverston. Best Wishes to all.

  • Re: Season's Greetings by Dog Master (Member 10160482) on 24-Dec-2014
    P.S
    Nearest Asda to Ulverston is Barrow in Furness, closing time today is 23:59!!!!!!!

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The weather outside is frightful by veepee (Member 10294016) on 10-Dec-2014
Its snowing outside and all me wife does is stand there and look through the window. I'll give it another half hour then go and let her in.   
  • Re: The weather outside is frightful by Dog Master (Member 10160482) on 10-Dec-2014
    When did you get a wife?

  • Re: The weather outside is frightful by Dog Master (Member 10160482) on 10-Dec-2014
    Re-phrase that HOW did you get a wife?

  • Re: The weather outside is frightful by veepee (Member 10294016) on 13-Dec-2014
    Amazon

  • Re: The weather outside is frightful by veepee (Member 10294016) on 15-Dec-2014
    Hi Puppymiester, number into an old acquaintance of yours the other day!

  • Re: The weather outside is frightful by veepee (Member 10294016) on 15-Dec-2014
    ** bumped **

  • Re: The weather outside is frightful by Dog Master (Member 10160482) on 16-Dec-2014
    Oh, who was that?

  • Re: The weather outside is frightful by veepee (Member 10294016) on 16-Dec-2014
    Jack Shit.

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Usual shit by zap (Member 10216554) on 5-Dec-2014
Remember last week's Dickheadian when t'village was full of families, pensioners, kiddies and the confused and pretentious? Coppers and their Matt Dillon wannabe plastic colleagues everywhere!Tonight was full of bellowing, belligerent, smelly, foul mouthed cunts and not a cop to be seen. Wish I had the cocoa contract fer t'nick!
  
  • Re: Usual shit by twister (Member 10266532) on 6-Dec-2014
    Sadly just a normal Friday night in Ulverston now.
    Its about time they stopped public transport after 5pm on Fridays and Saturdays to keep the bastards away!!! Your right about the Coppers though Zap never seen so many plastic police at the Dickfest and all doing about the square root of fuck all. Witnessed on Wednesday teatime a Traffic Car pulling up outside Tesco, there were cars double parked... more >>

  • Re: Usual shit by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 6-Dec-2014
    Aye, I saw that, also the disabled bay had cars parked in it that didn`t have blue badge stickers on their windscreens. It`s just a bloody zoo on a Friday evening, pedestrianise the whole lot. And as for all those lazy bastards that block the road while they just "nip" to the cash machine, they should be on the spot fined for obstruction.

  • Re: Usual shit by zap (Member 10216554) on 6-Dec-2014
    Towns out of control most weekends. The bastards keep doing it cos they get away with it, nobody stops them. I did think, at one point, of legging it up the left bank and getting Smiter out to reason with them!

  • Re: Usual shit by Jest (Member 10284008) on 7-Dec-2014
    The plastic wannabe who covers Swarthmoor is very hardworking and would be far to busy to deal with crime in Ulverston. My neighbour a right moany old cow called her out to look at dust on the top of her wardrobes. Her cleaner hadn't cleaned them properly ! The plastic wannabe actually did come out to this extremely serious crime so anyone with dusty wardrobe tops can rest easy, it will be dealt with.

  • Re: Usual shit by zap (Member 10216554) on 7-Dec-2014
    Grime was always high in Swatty!

  • Re: Usual shit by veepee (Member 10294016) on 7-Dec-2014
    Tops of wardrobes can be dangerous places. They can be inhabited by Boggarts -and you wouldn't want to cross one of those!

  • Re: Usual shit by blueherring (Member 10198877) on 9-Dec-2014
    in the days before the internet the tops of wardrobes could be very dirty places.

  • Re: Usual shit by Scum (Member 10233909) on 10-Dec-2014
    Fucking filth!

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`nother liar howler? by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 4-Dec-2014
Am I mistaken or is today`s photograph re: Stone Cross the usual suspects but the wrong crusade? Surely more houses of whatever type means more potential customers? so why the poster that Pickers is brandishing?   
  • Re: `nother liar howler? by veepee (Member 10294016) on 4-Dec-2014
    Aye but 'first snow for S Lakes' trumps it. Well bugger me, who would believe it...snow in December..and in the crags and all..we are doomed!

  • Re: `nother liar howler? by zap (Member 10216554) on 5-Dec-2014
    Ever keen to exercise their self-given "right" to rewrite history and geography (i.e. all that Cumbria shite they peddle)they relocated Kendal to "the Lake District" t'other night. Summat they also frequently do to Cartmel. Knobs.

  • Re: `nother liar howler? by veepee (Member 10294016) on 5-Dec-2014
    Quick - inform the Westmorland Gazette!

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"Barrow woman charged for theft of vodka" by zap (Member 10216554) on 1-Dec-2014
What a rag! Wonder what the going rate is for nicking a bottle of vodka in Barrovia these days!   
  • Re: by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 1-Dec-2014
    They have responded to your reprimand to do better, they now carry a report of twenty bottles of Jack Daniels liberated from Asda.

  • Re: by early doors (Member 10235862) on 1-Dec-2014
    At least this lot had a bit of class and stole JD. I have no sympathy for Asda ,they have scanners and security guards but it's still dead easy to nick a trolley of booze ( apparently ).

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If Ulverstoneage produced a real ale what would it be called? by veepee (Member 10294016) on 30-Nov-2014
Dragley Becks?   
  • Re: If Ulverstoneage produced a real ale what would it be called? by veepee (Member 10294016) on 30-Nov-2014
    Old Hoad?

  • Re: If Ulverstoneage produced a real ale what would it be called? by veepee (Member 10294016) on 30-Nov-2014
    Lancashire Nomore?

  • Re: If Ulverstoneage produced a real ale what would it be called? by veepee (Member 10294016) on 30-Nov-2014
    Offcomer?

  • Re: If Ulverstoneage produced a real ale what would it be called? by veepee (Member 10294016) on 30-Nov-2014
    Bindons Bollocks?

  • Re: If Ulverstoneage produced a real ale what would it be called? by Dog Master (Member 10160482) on 30-Nov-2014
    JJ Juice!

  • Re: If Ulverstoneage produced a real ale what would it be called? by Cloud (Member 10266536) on 2-Dec-2014
    Special Brew
    Estate Agents Bitter
    Knackered Old Brewery's Best
    Backwards Blonde

  • Re: If Ulverstoneage produced a real ale what would it be called? by blueherring (Member 10198877) on 2-Dec-2014
    past its best
    dellow's old peculiar
    mckenzie's alcohol-free lager
    nimby super-special ale
    grapes pils

  • Re: If Ulverstoneage produced a real ale what would it be called? by zap (Member 10216554) on 2-Dec-2014
    Pseuds Stout
    Bullshit Bitter
    Pretentious Pale Ale

  • Re: If Ulverstoneage produced a real ale what would it be called? by Scum (Member 10233909) on 3-Dec-2014
    How about - Ulverston Dog Piss. Has quite a ring to it, don't you think, eh!

  • Re: If Ulverstoneage produced a real ale what would it be called? by veepee (Member 10294016) on 3-Dec-2014
    That already exists.

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Conlons by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 30-Nov-2014
Didn`t last long did it, now going to be Vision Express.   
  • Re: Conlons by Cloud (Member 10266536) on 2-Dec-2014
    Should've sold to Specsavers.

  • Re: Conlons by early doors (Member 10235862) on 2-Dec-2014
    Didn't last long ? 132 years isn't bad !!! the whole company has been taken over . KUS should be on this like a ton of bricks !!

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Accents by veepee (Member 10294016) on 29-Nov-2014
Apparently the Barrovian accent has been voted the worst in the Country. Good job its not in Lancashire then.   
  • Re: Accents by Scum (Member 10233909) on 3-Dec-2014
    Well, it is fucking awfull I have to say.

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Lakes vs ? by veepee (Member 10294016) on 29-Nov-2014
Expensive hotels, poor service, crap beer, crowds, poor quality pub grub, non-English speaking workforce, high parking charges, expensive shops - Lake District. Complete opposite of above - Ceredigion. Guess where I shall be heading in future.   
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KEEP ULCERATION SPASTICATED by ilikeeatingthings (Member 10161876) on 29-Nov-2014
Well done making sure that eyesore brewery site stays as it is.

CUNTS.

Great news for Barrow though!
  
  • Re: KEEP ULCERATION SPASTICATED by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 29-Nov-2014
    I suppose it now depends on what the developers want to do. The judge has only stalled the application on one of the five points,and that was the puzzling heritage and conservation issue. The sldc leader seems to think the application will get re-submitted in the new year. I assume the developers, having gone this far, will not give up, and unless they change tack and try for housing will address ... more >>

  • Re: KEEP ULCERATION SPASTICATED by veepee (Member 10294016) on 29-Nov-2014
    Hey... Why not make it into.... A Brewery!

  • Re: KEEP ULCERATION SPASTICATED by redneck rampage (Member 10241019) on 29-Nov-2014
    Tried it. Worked ok at first but the beer turned a bit toxic when robinsons took over. Then they stopped brewing there and fobbed us off with the stockport slops. A micro brewery might work although
    the market is a bit crowded. Be quite satisfying in a way, smelly brewery fumes wafting across the road into pickers house.

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